Thursday, 31 March 2011


Libyan rebels, driving firstly one way up the road and then quickly back down it again, have called for fresh supplies of bullets for their AK47s.

We have now fired them all up into the air, said  Mr Ali Baba, all the bullets, and have none left to shoot at the devil, Gadaffi.  Please send us some more so that we may resume firing them pointlessly into the sky;  the men love it, that and crying, crying and shouting and firing our guns at passing clouds, it's what the revolution is all about. And running away. What, engage the proper army, you must, effendi, be fucking joking, we are waiting for NATO boys to do that.

In the Westminster parliament, Britain's unelected prime minister, CallHimWinston, said that resolution 1973 was carefully worded to allow Western leaders to do exactly as they pleased in Libya.  We will protect the civilians by urging them to become a fully-fledged army,  the useless wog bastards, and try to get them to fire their weapons horizontally.  At that time, of course,  they won't be civilians any more and so what we'll be doing is protecting an army, armed by us and the Frogs, from another army, armed by us and the Frogs and so we'll have to call it all a humitarian crisis. And if that doesn't work, we'll just bomb the whole place to fuck, as usual. 

What, the cost?  No, wars don't cost anything,  they are paid for from a contingency fund, which is just like, well, just like magic, really.  And if you believe that you'll believe any fucking thing. And you do. Repeat after me, wars don't cost anything because they are paid for from a contingency fund of special non-existent, magic money, not taken from taxation or anything. So, as a matter of fact, we can have as many wars as we want, as many as the situation demands, the more unpopular we are, the more wars we can have. It's quite simple, really, don't see what the fuss is all about.

Field Marshal Flashman. Double First and military expert.
Yes, Americans won the Battle of Britain for us.
And I am very grateful to them.


jgm2 said...

It really is fucking ridiculous innit.

I mean, fair play, folk having a bit of a 'We hate Gaddafi - he's a cunt' rally after Friday prayers. Machine-gunning the fuckers is well off piste. And, as Tunisia and Egypt have shown, potentially counter-productive.

But now we've had a month or so of Jon Snow or whoever crawling over ammunition dumps in Benghazi sucking through his teeth about the phenomenal amount of hardware there, some of it supplied by UKBombsRUs (Yvonne Fletcher? Water under the bridge mate). And the dopey cunts sit there and let Gaddafi blow the whole fucking lot up in situ instead of dispersing it all over the shop.

But then, flushed with 24/7 BBC news telling us how the plucky fuckers have tooled up and are ready to die we have Sarkozy and Dave (I think it was the Maximum Imbecile who had the Churchill complex Mr Ishmael) trying to separate the sheep from the goats at 20,000 feet and 2,000 miles.

And what do they do with the petrol and ammo they have? Drive up and down the main road loosing the whole lot off for the cameras. It's like some huge red-neck festival.

Disorganised? Incoherent? Opportunist? Fair-weather revolutionaries?

I should say so. And as for these Libyan 'rebels'.

Mike said...

Mr jgm2: coming to a street near you, soon.

Dick the Prick said...

The Ruskies are in there. It's been held through British media that Putin took PM so that he can return to being President and Medvedev just some kinda chump but Putin got all arsey with Libyan intervention and got immediately bitch slapped by Medvedev and has subsewuently shut the fuck up.

This gives rise to the assumption that whilst Russia is undoubtedly a gansta state, the office in control is exactly where it should be. Medvedev has taken a much less interventionist role in the Caucusses but that could just be circumstance, he's been less concerned with US expansionism (again, US being skint = fewer problems) but to publicly tell Putin to stop talking bollox and get back to screwing BP through Rosneft was pleasing.

Am pretty sure Russia mainly armed Libya but with that Ukrainian dude being ferried round the world as the biggest gunrunner ever, I guess we fall off a cliff without some forensic brain like Mrs WoaR or someone.

Burma is most intriguing.

mongoose said...

It's money, Mr DtP. Chinese money is buying up African influence, and Indian money down the east coast. They are the masters now.

black hole sunset said...

That comment from Van Rumpuy about "regime change" was quite startling, I thought, Rumsfeldian, almost.

There were some ideas knocking around a while ago for huge solar farms in the North African desert - which seemed credible, for once - with a postscript drawing attention to the political "difficulties" that a such huge infrastructure project would likely pose, out there in crazy-arsed WogLand.

The outline of a soution has been found, it would seem. Oil now, solar later, appears to be the motivation behind a distinctly US approach to energy security.

The EU has come of age as yet another forked-tongued hegemony.

call me ishmael said...

Ah, interesting, recolonisation then. Solar farms seem a very good idea, but don't tell Fat Alec Salmond or he'll want them strung all over the Highlands, along with his equally useless wind farms,pylons and Donald McTrump leisure resorts. You can just hear him - Scotland's sunshine is the best and cleverest sunshine in the world.

No, it seenms a great idea, instead of waiting millions of years to burn all that stored-up sunshine why not just tap it at source ? Just as long as the oil companies can run things, of course.

black hole sunset said...

It's possible, Mr Ishmael. The French are right back in there, with EU support, opening up a new North African Front and there's at least the known oil reserves and some modest territorial gains to be had, if nothing else.

If only the National Grid could be powered by, what was it now, the bitter "sectarian divide which so characterises Salmond's Smart, Successful Scotland", that and fat gits sending out for more pies.

It is, in the case of Sheikh Abdul ibn al-Linlithgow Mustafa bin Salmond, just as well that oil sells itself and that companies'll wage war on each other for the privilege of digging it out of the ground. Otherwise, they'd be selling the stuff door-to-door in recycled milk bottles.

If it is a long-term solar play, this Libya grab, it's difficult to fault to grizzly logic of it.