Bonjour, mes amis, I 'ave today been pleased to award myself le Croix de Guerre, Presidential Class, for my bravery in Libya. 'Avin my jets incinerate ze wogs down below 'as required of me ze greatest courage ever seen by a French 'ero, since we all bent over for 'Erman ze German in ze last war and 'elp eem with rounding-up ze Jews, oo is, after all, only another form of nig-nog, n'est ce pas, an' sending zem all off to get gassed or shot or woddever, maybe experimented on, pour le medecin. You know, people say zat ze French was cowards in ze last war - and even, zut alors, ze one before zat - just turning sharply on ze heel and running like ze fucking Devil was biting at one's arse but ees not so easy to be brave when ze enemy is shooting back an' maybe can 'urt you but een Libya thees ees not a problem as zey ees all driving about in ze clapped-out, rusty old bag of nails and good for fuck all ees, never mind firing at invisible Mirage jetfighters up in ze sky. Ees easy for French Air Force to kick nig nogs up and down ze Benghazi highway. Everybody should 'ave a go. I 'ave plenty of medal and can give to M'sieu Il s'appelle Dave an' to ze bald poof, 'Ague an' 'is world-famous misfiring Madame Ffffffion.
An' also, eet does me no 'arm at all with zee National Front Francais voter, to be strafing zee wogs, especially after we 'ave deportez-vous les gippoes, merci beaucoup and fucked zem all off back to Gippoland. Ees an election in a year or two an' fuck me, mes amis, ees looking pretty much merde for Nicolas, an' me an' Madame Sarkozy might be out on ze street, her singing on street corners an' me doing whatever eet ees zat 'omeless dwarves do. Maybe can go in Ireland and get a job as official leprechaun, non?
Any'ow, zis guy, Gadaffi, 'e 'as to go, ees in ze interest of 'is own people. And mine, too. You know 'ow eet ees, when ze people don't believe all zat enemy within shit, ees time to find an enemy outside, preferably a weak one, an' kick ze bastard in ze arse, an' zat ees exactly what we are doing, me an' Il s'appelle Dave, an' every other fucker oo ees deep in le merde at home.
PRESIDENT NICOLAS PATS COLONEL GADAFFI ON THE ARSE