Wednesday 4 August 2010

LEARNING TO SPEAK COALITION: JUSTICE IN HOUSING.


 HELPED OUT BY A PASSING  GIMP,
A YOUNG, HARD-WORKING COUPLE
MOVE INTO THEIR COUNCIL HOUSE, 
THE ONE WHERE ALL THE FOOD IS FREE
AND THEY DON'T PAY ANY RENT.


Well, I simply say that people shouldn't be entitled to a council house for life. Not unless their grannies fucked the King or something, as most of mine did, and were rewarded with fortunes stolen from the citizens of Ordinarywhere, I mean, if your Granny spreads her legs for the King, you're entitled, aren't you?  And if their granddads were City criminals who sent their spawn to the Eton finishing college for the Sons of Gangsters, as mine did, why that's a different story;  good families, like mine,  are entitled to every penny they can rob, steal, cheat or  their  grannies can whore.


AND SO SAY ALL OF US, AND SO SAY ALL OF US.
CALLHIMDAVE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW
CALLHIMDAVE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW.....

But the very idea of the Ordinarylanders being able to pay a fair rent  for a fair property and not be in hock up to their arses to my uncles in the banks, well, if you ask me, that's indefensible. Everyone should have a mortgage. Even if some of us, from the better families, have ours paid for, by you.



MR CALLHIMDAVE'S COUNCIL HOUSE IN CLARKSONSHIRE
BOUGHT FOR HIM BY THE TAXPAYER BECAUSE, 
WELL, JUST BECAUSE.


MR CALLHIMDAVE'S FATHER-IN-LAW'S COUNCIL HOUSE,
GIVEN  TO HIS ANCESTORS CENTURIES AGO BY THE KING, 
ALONG WITH HALF OF LINCOLNSHIRE. 
SHOULD HE BE ALLOWED TO LIVE IN IT, AFTER ALL THESE YEARS?

 What do readers think? If your granny fucked the King should you a) have free housing for ever, like the unelected prime minister  and his mrs, or should it be a case of b)Up against the wall, motherfuckers?


SAMANDAVE CAMERON.

Our grannies fucked their arses off for what we've got. So just jolly well leave us alone to enjoy it. And pay your taxes.

13 comments:

Oldrightie said...

Ce la vie, Ismael. Always was always will be.

Dick the Prick said...

Great analogy. Hmm..notwithstanding the extremeties of the situation, namely, 1 person living in a nice 3 bedder in central Londonistan paying subsidized rents; it does seem slightly iniquitous. The fact that some families are cramped and living in blatantly inappropriate accom. Fortunately, and indeed, hopefully, the glories of the housing system have relatively passed me by.

It was always a struggle hitting housing regs. I only dealt with 3 OAP's and the variant stages of their 'bronze, sliver or gold' classifications of need and, not being a medic; they all sounded pretty fucked to me. 1 of the best days of last year was (completely by fluke & persistence) getting a crying Granny whose kids lived darn sarf rehoused into a nice little bungalow in an area she wanted to move to.

I guess there's a distinction between the clients of social housing. Its perpetuity, its acknowledgement of need, the clarity & transparency of decision making procedures and (although I think this is walking into some philosophical crap) its fairness. The tale of the poor Cameron's does highlight their mother fucking hypocrisy but, if we were to take them as some kind of litmus test we'd all be out lying our fucking head's off with little thought for guilt or morality.

As with so much other public policy, it's ill thought out and back of a fag packet. There's a nice little discussion going on at political betting.com about the fact that in 3 months this copulation government has ran off before it could even crawl. Sounds quite accurate. Fortunately, being educated by the fuckers for the last 18 months, i don't give a toss what they say, just what they do. They've got the Academies Act through but the NUT are going to fund judicail reviews for every school that signs up to it; which, err, on my reckoning - amounts to approximately doing fuck the fuck all.

Public Relations and sucking Michael Howard's cock - brilliant career experience, brilliant!!

call me ishmael said...

Well, Mr OR, things do change; the Internet may well be, certainly ought to be - to scum like Cameron - what penicillin was to syphilis.

I don't begrudge you your sanquinity - sometimes I have to rouse myself to indignation - but as I often say to mr the dyers garden, it is my view that things do improve and that if everyone took your - and his - laissez faire, c'est la vie attitude towards the wrongs of the Unwholesome then they would still be coming around, demanding to bang our mrses, before us, on our weddiung nights, if, of course, anyone still has wedding nights. Droit de Seigneur, they called it, and probablky grunted, C'est la vie, whilst so engaged.

call me ishmael said...

The intricacies of housing or any public policy are completely beyond me but I daresay that given the resources of the civil service I might make a fist of it, mr dtp. What is so obnoxious about the Bullingdon dummy is that he is so manifestly ideological in his thinking, his every wanky pronouncement unfailingly favouring the already rich over the institutionalised poor. I don't know what they say elsewhere but I reckon that Dave and the Gimp'll be gone by Christmas.

call me ishmael said...

Sanguinity, mr OR.

Dick the Prick said...

This internet thingy is such a remarkable joy. A chum came over last week with a cable which now lets me play my gawd awful music through my hifi and what with YouTube and your veritable Evensong's, well, it's like Glastonbury sans the walking, expense, distance, mud (although 1 year it was sooo hot for every swig of lager 3 swigs of water were required) and the food here is infinately better.

As regards boring housing policy, the main technical vehicle is Arms Length Management Organizations (ALMO's) which took over from Direct Service Organizations - err..about 1999 ish; and you'll never guess, honest not invent; it was jobs for the boys. Take housing out of council control but err..leave it in Councillors & political party control. Shocked, shocked. And then there's the steady growth of housing assocs which are even more crooked. Ho diddly hum.

PT Barnum said...

It's a brilliant plan. If you can keep your legal earnings down below a certain level and your domicile is occupied by sufficient bodies, you get to stay in your social housing. If you fail on either score you are thrust into the welcoming arms of the private sector landlord. Can't see anything that could possibly go wrong with that one.

mongoose said...

The aching stupidity of it all is becoming tedious. I get to see people in council housing and I can advise you all that I wouldn't keep my cat in some of those shit-holes. And, pray, what is the alternative? What do we propose to do with those unwanted cast out from their homes? House them in some shittier unfit accommodation, perhaps. Is there a flaw in this farce? I think that we can see one.

yardarm said...

Cameron appears to be fit enough to hold down a perfectly good minimum wage job but instead has chosen a career of poncing off the taxpayer, despite his advocacy of the free market the nearest thing to a ' job ' he`s held is to spin for Carlton TV and as you point out out has a grace and favour town house, a country estate at Chequers and we`re still forking out for his constituency home.

High time this bludger was forced to forsake his life of idleness: if East European immigrants can do it, so can the Scions of Privilege. In times gone past pater in law would have bunged them a cottage on the estate. Is there no charity or voluntary organisation this wretched bludger can apply to ?

If it isn`t nipped in the bud welfare dependancy can become generational: look at the Kinnocks.

mrs narcolept said...

Dave, apparently incredulous, remarked that he believed that in some cases people actually passed on their council houses to their children. Regardless of the argument, there are some things the impossibly well-off and advantaged just should not say.

call me ishmael said...

Getting to see people in council houses..... There is an opportunity there, mr mongoose, for some entertainment mogul, like a televisual safari. I know you don't intend it as such for we have discussed postwar urban neglect at length but Prescott and Co have made an Underclass of those failed by successive govaments and I always shudder when, as so often, I hear council house dweller being used euphemistically for The Enemy Within and I shudder, too, at my frequent, unthinking acceptance of that sinister DailyMail mindset.

I think George Cadbury was the last person to talk any sense about social hpusing, a hundred years ago and that le Corbusier and his wretched acolytes - in media and in local authorities should have been Upped against the wall, motherfuckers. motherfuckers.

Sometimes, mr yardarm, a picture is enough, SamanDave entering Downing Street is one of those times.

I think, mrs n, that the the only thing the impossibly well-off should say is I Am Very -Impossibly - Sorry; Cameron's family history is a case in point, well worth a wikilook.

mongoose said...

It's not the dwellers, Mrs Ishmael, but the dwellings. I get to see people living in shit. Regardless of their worthiness, achievement or otherwise, nobody can thrive when they live in a hovel unfit for cattle.

call me ishmael said...

Ah, you mean Glasgow.