ANOTHER MARRIAGE MADE IN LIBDEM HQ ENDS IN DIVORCE.
Here, in Ishmaelia, we always maintained that the marriage of wee ginger Charlie Kennedy, shortly before the 2005 election in which he hoped to at least snatch at the levers of power - but didn't - was one of those cynical, cosmetic, lavender jobs which so many politicians - actually confirmed bachelor boys - contrive at in a desperate bid to present themselves as being as normal as the largest possible quadrant of voters.
Post-marriage, Kennedy, instead of just muttering his dire, wee, Highland aphorisms, tales of his grey-haired Mammy's wisdom and reminding all and sundry that once upon a time he dressed so fine and was the youngest MP ever, garlanded his dire speeches with references to his now being - by marriage - a Suffolk boy, too, almost bursting into lusty Copper Family songs of jolly ploughmen, the horrible ginger git.
His boozing and cowardice saw him off, and saw his party eventually falling into the hands of ToryBoy Clegg, saw his social liberalism gimping, now, for these sinsister reptiles, clapping each other on the back, old man, as, degenerates and gangsters, they lead the attack on single mothers, a public school rabble, baring the naion's arse to the bankers, fucking disgusting hypocrites, creepy bastards who have just doubled their own salaries and pensions, mouthing how we are all in this together, revolting Highland MPs, who would never get into bed with the Tories, now deep under the blankets, noshing. Kennedy's party is ruined, the least he can do is strike another match, go start anew, piss on these shitbags, these ToryLibs.
Having separated - with all the usual nonsense - from his bride of convenience, Champagne Charlie should perform the one task open to him, other than cipherhood; he should cross the floor and take as many of his toilet-creeeping, shit-eating mates with him as possible - only not Straight Simon Hughes, leave him stewing, sidestepping, prevaricating in his bogus eminence gris-ness, irrelevant; having allowed Thatcher in for all those years, and having recently buggered democracy until it bleeds, it is the very least that so-called senior LibDems can do. Not voting for the Coalition, Charlie, isn't enough. Nobody voted for it, remember? This is a pubic schoolboy coup, orchestrated and maintained by skymadeupnewsandfilth, Kennedy can see it gone by Christmas.