The putative adoptive parents,Mr & Mrs Sir Elton John.
Lady Sir Elton John, the most improbably successful warbler in history, having but two tunes to his name, a slow one with arpeggios and a faster one without, has been told by the Romanian authorities that he is a horrid, fat, bad-tempered little degenerate.
Knighted by the Whore-Emperor Blair, long term cocaine addict, Lady Sir Elton and his husband, Mrs David Furnish, had announced that a Romanian orphan - no ordinary orphan but an AIDS-orphan, you see, showbiz gradation, even in orphanhood, the disgusting fucking bastards - had "stolen their hearts" and they wanted, Lady Sir Elton in his sixties and Mrs Furnish in his late-forties, to adopt the child and bring him back home to witness their spats and squabbles and tantrums and hair-pullings and unspeakable extravagance - Lady Sir Elton and Mrs Furnish being celebrated for little else. It was as though Sir Elton and his husband had spotted a new vulgar work of art and simply had to have it, darling. Spontaneous, consumer parenthood; what a pair of tossers.
Fuck off, has been the response of the Romanians. And quite right, too.
10 comments:
This is a man who can remember having fun with Suzi when Rock was Young. If he wanted a baby he had every opportunity to make one and he would have been a granddad long since.
You know how he got so stinking rich don't you? His Candle in the Wind charidee reprise was a double AA side, so he pocketed half the proceeds. Life can be most profitable when your princess friends die...
Lucky kid, 1 thing to have AIDS but don't need these 2 fuckers too.
Yes, Mr Ishmael, it is the assumption of celebrtiy entitlement that makes you want to punch their lights out.
"Oh, dahlinks, I getting a little, black one. From Africa, I think. Is Vietnam in Africa. Oh, err... No, no, I rmember now. He is from Africa but I'm going to call him "Vietnam". Won't that be fun? Maddy got one last year and she said that it made her Christmas. And Nicci has had one for ages. Mind, she had to get hers. Well, we all know about Tommy's trouble, don't we?"
Fetch me axe, mother.
That and the shit music, too.
No it is nauseating, why don't people throw stones at these bastards ? That's the riddle of the age.
And the rent boys.
Perhaps we should chuck rent boys at them.
I am starting to get seriously confused now.
One never wants Mr mongoose to persecute anyone for their frailties real or imagined, where does that end, but I do get impatient with so-called transgenders, they are never fucking happy, however much they get carved-up and the surgery does eem like taking a Stanley knife to a Rembrandt, an offence to God, man and woman.
Oh, I have no interest in the transgender whoever-it-was. One imagines that Berlin was full of all sorts in those far-off Cabaret days. I was just thinking that it would be highly unlikely that (s)he would come out of the other end looking anything remotely like Nicole Kidman. Elton John maybe.
No, I didn't think you had. Although, come to think of it, I always found something distinctly mannish about la Mitchell and her octave-leaping.
Mr Ishmael,
I shall find a song to convert you. Leave it with me.
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