Monday 21 November 2011

MORE ALL COPPERS ARE BASTARDS. MR JUSTICE BEANS SAYS FUCK

BEANSMEANSFUCK.

Over at the Filth-o-Graph's Redneck Central poor old Janet Daly is wetting herself over Mr Justice Bean's comments that since police officers are grown-ups they can hardly be insulted by the use of the word fuck by those they are arresting.
When you cant sleep, which, given the times, is probably most nights, have a look at one of the gaycop shows, where Mark and Chris of Avon Police or Dean and Mitch of the West Mids Constabulary, all shiny clean and gelled-up,   are chasing twoccing teenagers at high speed or, more dissappointingly for them, confronting gangs of  betrayed, disaffected, aimless youths who may - result - have one poxy joint between them.  What did you say, did you say fuck, I never heard such things, don't you know I'm a police officer?  You say fuck again and I'll nick you.

Fuck.

Right, I am arresting you for a breach of the peace and for disrespecting a gay police officer. Anything you say will be taken down in writing, altered  and used against you. And if you later say anything which you later rely on for your defence that will be altered too, by me and my mate, making it all up together, in the canteen.

They might not be gay and it doesn't matter if they are;  it's just that they are all this strange mixture of  macho, body armoured warrior and exfoliated, moisturised, close-cropped pansymen, and that they do all feign outrage and indignation when people swear., almost falling down in a swoon.

A spokesman for the police federation, Acting Sergeant Derek Gob said This is the thin edge of the wedge, this is, Kirsty. First my members are expected to put up with foul and degrading language which they would never dream of using themselves, even when kicking the shit out of people,  and the next thing is they'll be ruling that getting your helmet knocked off whilst attacking people in wheelchairs is not enough reason for three months on sick leave or that complicity by my members in sustained serious criminality should no longer be dealt with by early retirement on health grounds with a golden handshake and a full pension.  Cunts, these fucking judges, that's what they are.

4 comments:

mongoose said...

It is true that all coppers are bastards - except for Gemma, of course - but I do think that a wee bit of bloody commonsense might have come into play. Instead of making up some grand lawyerly opinion, His Honour, the Great One, could simply have said, when the case was first outlined to him, "Oh, do fuck off!"

call me ishmael said...

Gemma must be one of your private treasures, mr mongoose, unknown to us here, I think that, according to some filth blogs, the police believe that that is exactly what Mr Justice Slag has done, told them to fuck off, like everybody else does.

kevin said...

It looks as though his wig is wool and before long his collar may be felt!!

mongoose said...

The saintly Gemma has mentioned hereabouts before, I think. She is the girlfriend of a friend's offspring. 25 and not yet bent and gnarled by exposure to ruin's agents.