Monday, 1 February 2010


This is a Marks and Spencers Chief Executive salary package.

M&S Chief Could Earn £21m In Five Years

6:25pm UK, Monday February 01, 2010

Ed Merrison, SkymadeupNewsandFilth Online

The new chief executive of Marks & Spencer is in line for a remuneration package of £21m over five years, it has emerged.

Unfortunately, Mr Bolland has had contact with Mr Gordon Snot, the infamous Hand Of Shit, above, and will probably, therefore, be bankrupt, all his stores closed, within a few weeks. It is the right thing for the country, said Prime Minister Snot, gulping and clunking on the table with his famous Claw of Doom.


A young anglo irish catholic said...

I see, Mr I, that, thanks to the President of the US of A, Whitey will no longer be on the moon.

Gill will be delighted, no doubt.

hangemall said...

On a point of grammar, Mr Ishmael, should that not be "earn"?

call me ishmael said...

'twas skymadeupnewsandfilth wrote that bit, not I, mr hangemall. I think the six quid an hour arsewipers earn their money, the process by which Power remunerates itself needs another verb.

Anonymous said...

W T F is going on? The news now is full of M&S, Morrisons, Tesco etc. their balance sheets and what they are selling who fucking cares unless you have shares in them. They are shops, big ones I grant you and gradually taking over the world even here in Thailand especially Tesco closing the mom and pop stores one reason is that Tesco Lotus as they are called here are run by very powerfull families so you had best keep your fucking mouth shut if you know whats good for you.
On second thoughts I suppose as the press can't write about proper stuff, manufacturing (whats that?)real technology as we don't do that anymore in the UK. The old Triumph motorcycle factory in Meriden is now a housing estate there is not a lot to write about except shopping, how sad.

call me ishmael said...

A large part of celebrity works for Retail, Mr anonymous, and retail provides most of such advertising revenue as there is in the UK - you should see it, TESCO, the Co-op, Morrisons, ASDA, B&Q, all with voiceovers by the stars.

The other thing is that with profits such as theirs they can easily bung politicians to get planning apps approved
and of course are in a position to make donations come election time, probably to all parties; so, influence on media, influence on politicians. Job done.

mongoose said...

There is still money to be stolen out here in manufacturing land. Let us witness the "early retirement" last month of one, Sir John Chisholm, from his post as Chairman of Qinetiq. Not content with his half-a-mill salary, he "invested" £129,000 as Qinetiq was sold off and lo and behold but half a decade later this is now "worth" £23million. That's an 18,000% ROI. How clever and foresightful this chap must be. What a businessman!

If one wants to know more one can google "qinetiq rip-off". I shall leave you, Mr Ishmael, to guess the name of the architect of this wizard wheeze. It begins, however, with a B.