AMERICANS GET WET WATCHING SURFERS.
WAR ON THE PACIFIC OCEAN
VOWS SECRETARY HILLARY FARTPANTS.
VOWS SECRETARY HILLARY FARTPANTS.
Skymadeupnewsandfilth is reporting that some Americans got wet and fell over and some even had sprains and shit like that as a Maverick wave came rushing ashore at Half-Moon Bay, near San Francisco, ArnieLand; yes, a Maverivck wave, kinda like a terrorist wave, you know, ordinary decent Merkins just out watching Billy-Bob or Billy-Joe or Billy-Bobby-Ray-Joe Jr, out there. shooting the curl, whistling Surfin' USA to himself or maybe Ba-ba-ba, Ba-barba-Ann, and everybody longing for a big motherfucking wave to come and then, when it did, it came in too far, ain't life a bitch, and they all got wet, the folks standing on the shore. Somebody better get their ass kicked over this, some orphanage in Iran, some hospital in Gaza.
We must, simpered pretty, straight guy and lying fucking bastard, Tony Blair, stand wet shouilder to wet shoulder with President Obama, as he will give me lots of money, rather like when I bailed-out from Number Ten, just before the economy shit, as the Americans say, hit the high-speed blender and got put in everybody's milkshakes. Only not mine because I'm a catholic, now. A Maverick wave attacking Half-Moon Bay is just the same as if it attacked Weston-super-Mare, not that I'd know, preferring to holiday in Pimp Heaven, with drug-raddled blackmailing, extortionist, sex addicted Wop prime ministers, money laundering Russian gangsters and screechingly gay popstars like Sir Cliff Richard, Mr O'Bono and myself.
Merkins ought to be able to stand at the edge of the World's biggest ocean and expect it to motherfucking well behave itself and not be doing this wave shit, Merkins should be able to stand right there, close as they damn well like and not get their fucking feet wet, wossapoint of bein' Merkins else, said President Obamala, breaking from his Sunday Bible Study with his wife, Funky Michelle and their two brainwashed children. Dangerous sports is supposed to be safe, aim't they, for decent Merkins? I'm gonna not rest until I teach the ocean who's President around here. We vow, here and now, before God, that we will bring this ocean before Justice's pitiless gaze, or nuke it, or my name ain't Uncle Tom.
WIPE OUT.
Next Week: The San Andreas Fault, ain't that downright unAmerican?
We must, simpered pretty, straight guy and lying fucking bastard, Tony Blair, stand wet shouilder to wet shoulder with President Obama, as he will give me lots of money, rather like when I bailed-out from Number Ten, just before the economy shit, as the Americans say, hit the high-speed blender and got put in everybody's milkshakes. Only not mine because I'm a catholic, now. A Maverick wave attacking Half-Moon Bay is just the same as if it attacked Weston-super-Mare, not that I'd know, preferring to holiday in Pimp Heaven, with drug-raddled blackmailing, extortionist, sex addicted Wop prime ministers, money laundering Russian gangsters and screechingly gay popstars like Sir Cliff Richard, Mr O'Bono and myself.
Merkins ought to be able to stand at the edge of the World's biggest ocean and expect it to motherfucking well behave itself and not be doing this wave shit, Merkins should be able to stand right there, close as they damn well like and not get their fucking feet wet, wossapoint of bein' Merkins else, said President Obamala, breaking from his Sunday Bible Study with his wife, Funky Michelle and their two brainwashed children. Dangerous sports is supposed to be safe, aim't they, for decent Merkins? I'm gonna not rest until I teach the ocean who's President around here. We vow, here and now, before God, that we will bring this ocean before Justice's pitiless gaze, or nuke it, or my name ain't Uncle Tom.
WIPE OUT.Next Week: The San Andreas Fault, ain't that downright unAmerican?
2 comments:
Christ. when the big one hits, we'll never hear the end of the beautiful people crushed. Google and Apple in ruins. It will be end of the chino pant and the farmer's market and the defence-spec mountain bike.
Yes, the Taliban'll probably roast a pig and eat it if California should slide into the ocean, like the mystics and statistics say it will; even the Creationist in the Bible belt'll be I-Told-You-So-ing. It'll go all the way up to Seattle, too, bye-bye Love, bye-bye Microsoft.
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