Wednesday, 3 February 2010


Peter and Iris-Filth Robinson

Cuckolded by a child, Peter Robinson,61, MP, MLA, of the Democratic Undertakers Party, suspended himself on full pay as First Minister while everyone was supposed to forget about his Mrs, Iris-Filth, 61, MP, MLA.

and her seduction of a teenager.

Pete has now decided that enough's enough, so it is, and is back in the saddle, although not Iris's. His own legal investigation has found him blame-free in connection with Iris's financial fiddles - or theft as normal people would call it -and so that's it, job done and back to his very important role as Statesman and po-faced, shameless, laughing stock wanker.Echoing winsome Blair Babe, Tessa Jowls, and her preposterous claim to know nothing of her spouse's larceny, Po-faced Pete, wants lines drawn in the sand, or over Iris-Filth, 61, so's he can get back to making as much money as possible while he can.

We in the Orange, bowler-hatted, tin whistle-playing community are fully committed to the Peace Pro-cess by which mass murderers and jumped-up greengrocers, such as my distinguished self, can draw several salaries and pensions and homes and vehicles from the British taxpayer, this glorious, Loyalist province of ours being a black fucking hole into which taxpounds flow inwards but never outwards, just as long as we refrain from tying each other in chairs and cutting our limbs off with meat cleavers or - far more preferably - slaughtering innocent citizens wholesale, leaving ourselves to do the very necessary negotiating which is cheaper, in the long run, for youse, on the mainland, so it is.

Pete, who boasts of having a thousand neckties, is chippy enough to be threatening to sue the BBC, probably with lawyers paid for by us, the rotten cunt.

This From today's Belfast Filth-O-Graph

Peter Robinson spoke last night of future legal action against the BBC while announcing his return to First Minister duties.

In a statement issued through his party Press office, the DUP leader revealed the verdict of the review conducted by Paul Maguire QC.

It had been commissioned by the Departmental Solicitors Office, which comes under Stormont's Department of Finance and Personnel.

Mr Robinson said: “I welcome the QC’s detailed advice which follows a thorough and comprehensive examination of all of the issues raised in the Spotlight programme that on the material provided his considered view was that there were no breaches whatsoever by me of the Ministerial Code, the Ministerial Code of Conduct, the Pledge of Office and the seven principles of public life.

“His advice supports my consistent contention that I have acted at all times properly and in full compliance with my public duties. This is hiow I have amassed a fortune with no visible skills other than sour-faced judgementalism.”

The DUP leader also stated: “I am therefore glad that at this critical time I can resume fully the functions of my office with confidence. I will now move forward to the next stages of this process which I believe will also vindicate me.

“Once those stages are complete I will determine what legal action I should take against the BBC and others.”

A BBC Northern Ireland spokeswoman said: “The BBC stands by its journalism. We believe that the issues Spotlight uncovered during its investigation of several months into Iris Robinson were of significant public interest and were well sourced.

“The BBC conducts its investigations in compliance with strict editorial guidelines. This programme was a piece of responsible journalism and a matter of public importance.

“We are confident that the report was balanced and accurate. The Robinsons were made aware of the allegations and were given appropriate rights of reply.”

The spokeswoman also confirmed that the QC had had no contact with the BBC.

In a statement, the Ulster Unionist Party last night said: “Mr Robinson has today indicated that he has returned to office because his legal advice indicates that he has done nothing wrong. It would clearly be in the public interest for this legal opinion to be published in full.”

The UUP also referred to “ongoing investigations” on issues arising from the Spotlight revelations.

“We will await the conclusion of those investigations with interest,” it added.

While not at his desk as First Minister Mr Robinson remained in the political front line, leading party delegations in lengthy Hillsborough negotiations on the devolution of policing and justice powers. He also attended controversial talks last month in England with UUP and Tory Party representatives.

In his statement last night he praised party colleague Arlene Foster on her “diligent and highly competent work” as Acting First Minister.

Read more:


PT Barnum said...

One can only ask, of this shoddy, sordid charade, 'Cui bono?' Robinson? Brown? Sinn Fein? Paisley Jr.? Or perhaps the question should be who was supposed to benefit, given that no one in that benighted land will ever lift themselves or anyone else out of the sectarian mire.

richard said...

Brilliant, although Pete's lot are DUP. they once banned the ELO for being satanic, and appeal to those who dislike fenians, beer and the pope.
The UUP are slightly less Talibanistic and consequently less popular.
Iris' plight has generated a huge lack of sympathy and support across the six counties, and has united all factions in derision and the texting of tasteless jokes.

PT Barnum said...

And Mrs Robinson has been ordered by Thomas Legg to repay the cost of a £1300...bed.

Anonymous said...

Guess what? Fuck all will happen to them, none of them millions fiddled in expenses might have to pay a few bob back not the same as shoplifters who get their collar felt, named and shamed in the local paper whereas the Right Hon twat is given the right to address the populace on morals.
I for one think its too late the lunatics are in charge 100% and there is fuck all you can do about it.

call me ishmael said...

"I for one think its too late the lunatics are in charge 100% and there is fuck all you can do about it."

That's why we call it Chronicles of Ruin. I blame the grammar school totalitarianistes, mostly; talkin' 'bout my generation.

Anonymous said...

talkin' 'bout my generation."As in Mr. Daltry hoping to die before he got old? Ended up advertising if my memory serves me right fucking Visa cards from a clapped out Land Rover on his trout farm.

call me ishmael said...

Although a deal younger than he, Mr Richard, I once, mercifully briefly, attended Bangor Grammar School, the place where David, the Lord Trimble, developed his whining, petulant, bowler-hatted apartheidism. Not entirely his fault, then, he was born-into and tutored in it but many did not succumb to that fierce Orangeism, the tribal supremacists' domination which led, quite rightly, to the civil rights movement and then inevitably to its hijacking by Marty Kneecaps, by Adams, the Nonce Protector General and by the sticky-fingered, ghastly bully, Paisley, with his own church and his doctorates bought from the then equivalent of eBay.

Maybe if we'd had politicians of some calibre, rather than the grimy nepotist, Callaghan, a swifter resolution of dire grievance might have been found, one which prevented Terror's being rewarded by the Good Friday Agreement. As it is, Mr PTB, you are right, sectarianism, rather than being blown away by winds of change is now enthroned, power-sharing behind Stormont Castle's bombastic facade.

Our vanished Socratian,mr TDG, might venture that Justice is nothing else than the interest of the stronger. The continuance in office of the reptilian Robinson would seem to validate that ancient claim.

call me ishmael said...

The clapped-out Land Rover will have been paistakingly chosen by the advert's stylists, mr anonymous, like the backgrounds for Bluesman Clapton's Rolex adverts. Woke up dis mornin' wid de too many free gold watches blues. No business like show business.

Daltrey and Mr Pete Nose, famous child pornography researcher, play yet, to packed houses of people who really should know better.

mongoose said...

I had long thought that Paisley was hamming it up as a joke. He could not be real. That was until I was misbehaving gently one weekend in Biarritz. ("There's posh for you!") It turned out that Ulster were playing rugby against them that weekend. "Well, OK, we'll go to the rugby."

The modest wee stadium was rammed to the rafters with mad, bull-shaped Paisleys. At various moments of the match - doubtless known to them and instinctive but a mystery to me - they would all leap up, stamp their feet and punch the air in unison and belt out "Stand Urrrp for the Ullsturrrmaaan, Stand Urrrp for the Ullsturrrmaaan". Four times, I think, with a slightly different emphasis on each line. And all in a unified Paisley voice. There must been three or four thousand of them. Christ knows what the genteel folk of Biarritz thought of them but they scared the bejasus out of us, so they did.

call me ishmael said...

That seeming-spontaneous chanting or psalming at sporting fixtures, mr mongoose, is the very Devil. I witnessed it at my only attendance at a Birmingham City - or indeed any other - football match; I thought I had slipped into another dimension, one of unified consciousness, Shit on the Villa, shit on the Villa tonight, being the mystically compulsory anthem I hear to this day. Hearing the boys of the RedHand Wankers in full voice must have been a truly awsome experience.

yardarm said...

Taxpayers money, as much as the situation dictates will be conduited to the provincial chieftains by the federal politicians in London.

Bribery is a politician`s weapon of choice. After all, it works for them.

mongoose said...

Biarritz is a bit like a French Rye or Hastings or Eastbourne - a little faded and has never been Blackpool. We watched the rugby and the Proddy Show. Then off to a little froggie supper, a glass or two of wine I am sure, maybe a few of those brutish beers they sell. All around the town these little bands of loonies were at their yelling. Most disturbing. Very, very odd, pack-dog behaviour.

Might have been fun to have stood on a chair and given them a few rebel songs. Fun for a short while anyway... and if I could remember a rebel song.

call me ishmael said...

Oh, my name is O'Hanlon,
I'm barely sixteen....

mongoose said...

There's a horrible old bag up my local who is forever crooning "The Fields of Athenry". One of these days, murder will be done.

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