Friday 10 December 2010

A FUNNY THING HAPPENED ON THE WAY TO THE THEATRE

IDLE PLAYBOY BASTARD AND OLD WHORE UNHURT.

 Fuck me rigid, Brian, isn't that Harry, throwing stones at us?
Gosh,  old girl, I do believe it is.

Mrs Woman On A Raft makes the point, elesewhere,  that this rotten, filthy pair spend their idle lives patronising the rest of  us, that she herself might receive worse treatment in any local, HM police station, and that one may, therefore, be forgiven for smirking at their discomfort. Amen to that and a shame the Roller was not o'erturned, we'd get to see her knickers, then, if she wears any.

I, for my part,  am bemused at the outbreak of HeirToTheThrone-ism - even the bitter Glasgow meritocrat, Andy Neil, friend of celebrities and noncey old comsumer of teenage totty, voiced his own dreary outrage,  this is the  HeirToTheThrone, he spluttered, caught between apoplexy and despair - you can't turn on the radio without the shithacks all mouthing this mediaeval incantation: HeirToTheThrone, HeirToTheThrone;  it is as though the existence of  hereditary monarchy was not  an absolute fucking disgrace, as though we all were loyal subjects, not just of those shitting on us from the Geat Latrine of State in Westminster, but also of  the Greco-German squatters in Buck House and elsewhere. Fuck 'em. Royals, politicians, generals, admirals and chief constables, fuck 'em all. Up against the wall, motherfuckers.

31 comments:

Starborgling said...

I have doubt as to the availability of a long enough wall, "ish."

Ragarse said...

Rioters my arse, more likely a few dozen cuckolded fellow officers.

yardarm said...

No doubt Brillo, like a true meritocrat is after a knighthood, an honour; and who is the ' fount of honour ' ? Exactly.

Not sure where his tongue is relative to Rupe`s fundamental orifice these days but there`s another meritocrat; appointing his sprogs to senior exec positions in his own empire; oh and wife number three; that`ll be an interesting civil war when the old fart finally kicks the bucket.

PT Barnum said...

For pure comedy value, nothing this year comes close to Countess Dobbin's facial expression as she finally came face to face with the rising level of destructive rage in this country. While not wishing anyone dead, I do wonder what would have been unleashed if the armed protection officers had opened fire on the crowd.

Mothers Ruin said...

And the loyal subjects took up the traditional cry,
"Off with their heads!"

banned said...

Headline of the day Mr Ishmael

@PT BURNHAM " I do wonder what would have been unleashed if the armed protection officers had opened fire on the crowd".
I expect that was the general idea of whoever it was who decided upon the cars route to the Royal Variety Performance.

Albert said...

Not nice to attack an elderly man and his horse,especially when you and I will have to pay the students damages,but we can have a laugh eh!.

call me ishmael said...

The other headline would have been a picture of the Gilmour oik protesting: We dont need no educashun; spoiled for choice, really, living in a world of black farce.

It is all very fishy, isn't it? And rather undermines the snooty claims of Royal Protection Plods who claim that Diana would have been safer under their protection. I mean, a lucky scaffold pole through the window might have robbed us one one of their royal scumbagnesses. Maybe a fair price for being able to, thereafter, invoke permanent emergency measures. Brian won't be a popular king, but his death or hers would spare them his potentially adversarial ramblings and enable the installation of the complete thicko, William. And his totty.

One almost feels sorry for Commissioner Sir Paul Gob, having to go out and talk all this fucking rubbish; he is obviously as thick as pigshit but whoever is running him is really taking the piss. It ain't Cameron of FIFA, because he's fucking stupid, too.

I think it just takes a killing, on either side, to give us all a Burmese interlude. What does anyone else think? Do the Euro govaments have enough cops and troops to suppress four hundred million?

PT Barnum said...

I don't see conspiracy in allowing the unwashed to get so close to their "rulers" (Dobbinette was apparently poked with a stick through an open window and Chas declined to have the car diverted since a Royal Variety Performance without a Prince wasn't Royal), but I do see stupidity and blind adherence to protocol, a belief that such a thing was unthinkable and was therefore not thunk.

My original pondering was about the shooting dead of a protester or passerby by armed police (who were declared to have shown 'remarkable restraint' in not shooting), rather than Chas being dragged from his car and decapitated. After the Ian Tomlinson debacle, I suppose it would make no difference whatever. The lynching of a 'Royal', on the other hand, could precipitate either Burma or Tianamen Square. What a choice that would be.

P.S. Mr Banned, was 'PT Burnham' a Freudian slip or a coded insult? I am no relative of Andy of that ilk ;)

Albert said...

The cynic in me says that the "students" should have been shot for sticking the pole in the window and hitting the horse,it would have created a good enough split in public feeling to get very nasty,with the military getting called in,that would have caused an escalation and we would have had the Euro plod bussed in,it could have turned into a fine Euro war as the arms in this country would have been taken from the kids and used on them for "invading us",but in reality it was down to totaly politically correct stupidity on behalf of plod getting the heir and his horse mixed up with rampaging "students", as usual "lessons will be learned" until next time.

call me ishmael said...

And the cynic in me, mr albert, says that we should take no notice of this ghastly little shit, Aaron Porter, so-called president of the so-called NUS, as he scrambles for a safe Labour seat, or any safe seat, the revolting little bastard, Clearly-ing his way around the studios but instead watch the doings of Louise Solomon, who does seem to have some balls, and not just a wish to smarm along with the rest of the fuckpigs on Newsnight, Condemn violence, she says, Aye, right, let's start with that of Old Bill, his kettling, his baton whipping and his horse charges.

mongoose said...

It is all a distraction, Mr Ishmael. Why, in any sane world, would a coalition government latch on to student fees as something to be pushed through in the first half of the first year? If there is one certainty it is that the kids will be out on the streets sharpish. The Gilmour picture btw will be on Tory literature for a generation. "Silly little twat needs birching" will be the thoughts of the LibDem strays of Cheltenham Spa. Yay, another couple of percent poached from the Dogshooters. Well done, Dave.

That we did not have a Brian lynching is a disappointment to us all, I am sure. ("Poked with a stick"? No sniggering at the back! "Broken window"... Do windows normally break in such heavily protected and modified vehicles?) I had in mind a little Mussolini moment for the swine and his fragrant bride. Yes, hanging by their heels from the Palace railings is what we needed. Though if I remember correctly did we not find out that Winnie was behind that long ago spontaneous crowd moment?

Dick the Prick said...

I could ofcourse be wrong but I reckon Brian asked to be driven round to watch the steewdents as the fuck believes we all love him.

The 'protection' officers acted with restraint by not pulling out their guns!! Oh, do fuck right off. As some cynic has rightly pointed out, if the coppers do a shit job then they can claim some bullshit case for being exempt from cuts.

The comedy value of having Brian and Dobbins head caved in would have brightened up the weekend but alas.

Albert said...

Mr Ishmael,I saw the lady in question on tv,my thoughts were she is like the NUS Porter guy,waiting for someone of any political colour to offer her a nice cushy job with a nice cushy job description with a nice cushy office with a nice cushy load of money and a nice cushy pension,she is trying to do this by not having to slide up the greasy pole,now normally I would say go for it,but I feel she wants a lot more and wants to do this via taxpayers money and wants as well as money and power wants to have recognition maybe a seat in the HOL,the future is for us to watch these two beautiful people kick the hell out of others as they have ascend the greasy pole and obtain their dreams,just goes to show what a degree in media studies can take you too if you try.

TDG said...

Oddly, none of the students is campaigning for tighter selection so that only those who have any aptitude for higher education receive it; that would certainly keep fees down. At least a third of the students I knew at cambridge and oxford should not have been at any university, let alone an ancient one.

call me ishmael said...

As well as a distraction it seems to be an arithmetical sleight of hand; how are these fees, not payable for many years, and over many years and with many being exempt and some, presumably, evading payment by migration, how are these to ease the holy defecit, here, in the present or in the foreseeable future ? Isn't it just setting an ideological benchmark? And a dry run for the Forces of Darkness in the cops and the press? The riot squad restless, needing somewhere to go?

All that is so, mr albert, you are correct; I just was happier to hear someone refusing to condemn the beaten, instead of the beaters and in the process, beasting the dreadful Flanders.

The Gilmour iss-you is a conundrum for them, though, mr mongoose, so many of them fashionably fans of the chilly precision, the icy bombast of David and his sidekicks, strangling-out the same Stratocaster notes this past lifetime; it can't now all be deemed a Floydian slip, can it? (sorry)

One of our fellows, mr dtp - mr a young anglo-irish catholic - has an ear to the Heir's ground, maybe he can advise us as to Brian's motivation; surely he wasn't trying to get another wife killed, was he; although nothing, absolutely nothing, would surprise me when it comes to that shower of filth.

They and their parents, mr tdg, cheery, gobby, Blairite imbeciles. Higher or further education just another consumer treat. Getting down with the kids. Unable or unwilling to even say the full word, university, perversely babbling about Uni, heedless of their own abbreviated, foreshortened, shallow, pointless lives. Stupid fucking bastards, breeding stupid fucking bastards, willingly hyped and bamboozled and misled by the worst govament in living memory; educashun, educashun, educashun.

PT Barnum said...

Less an arithmetical sleight of hand, Mr. I, than a full-on assault on the universities. As the proposals currently stand, universities will be paid in arrears for the students they take in, which means (according to the official line) one complete year (2013-14) without any income at all for all departments in every institution, which will of course result in a wholesale cull of departments and even entire institutions. In any given university some departments are permitted to run at a deficit because they are seen as fundamental to academic integrity, and their deficits are offset by those who run at a profit. If no one's running at a profit, then...?

None of our leaders seems to have thought through how, after that, money is to be paid when no fees have been repaid. It is possible that, after the cull, we will be left with a few very wealthy universities and the only students those whose families own our country or whose families own nothing whatsoever. And those overseas' students who currently heavily subsidise the system (their fees now range between 10,000 and 16,000 a year, excluding medicine) will take their funding elsewhere because the 'government' are intending to dramatically cut the number of student visas issued.

And the real killer is that this will 'save' £25 million a year. Pocket change Snotty lost down the back of the sofa.

None of this makes any sense at all. The protests, the warnings, the promises, all incoherent to a degree I and academic friends find bewildering, all still being formulated. The real watershed will come in March when fees must be finalised for every degree course in the country.

Verge said...

Wasn't there some small-print in the Lisbon Treaty (an anagram of "bend over and smile" in esperanto apparently) to the effect that their right- and high-minded stance on the death penalty will waive itself in the event of full-blown riot?

Old Sarge smiles and licks his lips. "You're all insurgents now..."

banned said...

@PT Barnum, pure sloppiness on my part, no insult intended, please accept my fulsome apologies for the slur.

banned said...

Mr Ishmael "how are these to ease the holy defecit, here, in the present or in the foreseeable future ?"
Quite so, these loans of £9k pa will not even begin to be repaid until the next generation of students start to get half decent salaries (I expect that HR Depts thoughout the land are busily devising start-up remunerations that hover cannily just below the repayment threshold).
Those who flee abroad will see their future tax liabilty tranformed into debt, recoverable in law.
I understand that the poor will not pay, those who fail to find well rewarded work will not pay; but what happens to those who drop out or who simply fail to graduate?

DtP said...

@PTB - fuck and perhaps double fuck with a cherry on top.

call me ishmael said...

I believe there is such a provisions, a job for mrs woar, perhaps, to investigate but even if there isn't I can think of no-one, mr verge, in parliament, who would not support the death penalty - subject to safeguards, of course - if their own positions were threatened by what they would impudently call civil disobedience. We can all see every last toiletman and woman insisting that they had wrestled long and hard with their consciences and reluctantly decided that it was in the national interest, govament is about making hard choices, it is a script made in heaven for Straight Simon Hughes. The Tories would love it, of course, rejoicing, and 90-day detention Labour members are just, in every respect, beyond contempt. An execution or two would also, happily, divert peoples minds from ever again querying members "expenses." Stronganstablegovament.

From other comments and by observation it does seem that the tuition fees fiasco is nothing to do with Nick Clegg's Big Book of Good Housekeeping and everything to do with a vengeful and punitive millionaire's cabal telling us of its true intentions.

Don't know how many universities you need to finish and groom the spawn of the rich; it's about half a dozen, isn't it?

Woman on a Raft said...

Gotta rush - doing proper things today with 200 tiny ballerinas and their adoring parents so I'm rejoicing in real life. Also lighting a candle for one who cannot be with us this time.

A note, though about this proposed debt. I'm told that student debt in the USA is also bubble which is not going to be repaid but has been packaged and sold on.

Albert said...

Almost gives you a feeling that der management are deliberately stirring the goverment up to create this uni mess to allow them to pay lower wages to all employee's.

mongoose said...

I think, Mr Albert, that the idea is to deny seats the bums that used to sit on them. Countless "unis" will therefore fold, leaving only that top echelon. Further education will retreat back to the 10-20% that perhaps it should always have been. Except now it will once again be the richest 10-20%, instead of the old mix of the rich but also the brightest and most able of the poor. Mr Kinnock's ladder - and mongoose's ladder - they are being kicked away. It is a clumsy and cowardly way of slashing the cost of civilisation. It is the repeal of free education, the repeal of education for its own sake. Vince Cable just earned himself a seat next to Crossman in the hottest part of Hell.

call me ishmael said...

Foxtrotting with the Devil, no doubt.

The trouble with your analysis - for them - mr m, is that it explodes the myth of the globalised, so-called knowledge economy; how are we going to "compete" with the great capitalist low-wage democracies of India and China, unless it is by means of our previously essayed comsumerisme totalitairienne globale, the world turned open prison yard, its jailed inmates strolling the exercise yards of shopping mall and sporting fixture, muttering: Are You Going To The Feelies, tonight?

That's it for sure, mr albert, Poverty, the New Wealth. The papers have been doing it for some time; How to run your second home in France, now that we are in these Austerity Days, our Style Editor advises.

Take the real life where you find it, mrs woar. It's a performance of Carmina Burana for me, the noo, even though I hate it. Back later.

mongoose said...

I am new to this open prison yard description of toil, Mr Ishmael. It is attractive in its way but one does not have to play the game necessarily. My eldest is 13 and his pocket money is but £4. Indeed, I revel in not paying them pocket money until they have no cash left. In return for this cash poorness, I am happy to provide books, music, cricket bats - and likewise with the girls err, books, music and nail polish. Being on the swings and roundabouts of quarterly phone upgrades, a new car every whatever - the consumerist jailhouse of which you speak - can be avoided if one just plays not.

Dick the Prick said...

...and comfort Mr Mongoose - if breakfast is the most important meal of the day then space, ritual, love and comfort is the breakfast of a child. Ofcourse they shall see what is to be seen but just not yet, eh? Let's use our skill to protect them.

A 70 year old lady Tory got executed on Friday for no apparent reaon than it was profitable to get some fuckwit in. As blokes, our understanding of politics can be seen as cheap; I agree.

It ain't difficult to love people. It's a pretty quick fix if sense prevails.

mongoose said...

Of course, Mr DtP, you have it exact. We keep our babies safe, young and innocent and kind as long as we can. It is the job. If everyone did it, the world would be immeasurably a better place.

DtP said...

Dear Mr Mongoose. I can't speak for teenage lads but teenage girls are proper wierd. Good luck man.

call me ishmael said...

Ah, you romantics, what are you like, eh? Love is only some of what you need. Outside of Hollywood.