Sunday, 5 December 2010


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So this is the new politics, heralded, cheerled by the right-wing media -  ie all of it - as the mould-breaking  remedy for the depredations of GlobaCorp, the anecdote to Blair-Brownism, it's a tough medicine but we're all drinking it together;   an unelected prime minister cunting himself all over Europe like a clapped-out popstar, taking the Union Jack for wog gangsters to shit on it and then lamenting his bitter disappointment;  Christ alone knows how this prick, Cameron,  made any money at PR,  the dogs in the street could have told him to steer clear of FIFA, we must hope that his tenure in Downing Street is truncated before  a proper war presents itself.  And this pair of rotten,  dunderhead, shiteating nincompoops, quarelling like a pair of big girls blouses.  Sweet fucking Jesus, it's a rum day when the hideous, social-climbing, creep-crawly Jock lawyer, Menzies Campbell, QC, MP and political imbecile,  can give anyone a lesson in political ethics but here it is, we're living in it, as  frontbench ToiletMen tie themselves in knots impertinently redefining the words, promise and pledge and lie, NewSpeaking their way into national  ridicule.  You would think it nigh-on impossible for BlindBoy Blunkett,  for instance, the horrible,  cock-waving bastard, to be out-lickspittled, out-mealymouthed, out-Blunketted but Cable and Clegg leave him and his guidedog standing, whining about principles they don't have and everybody knows they don't have.

In a way, they do a service, illustrating the venality of their trade;  maybe those still pointlessly  Brown-bashing, cheering-on this ragbag of chancers and fuckwits because they're nearly Tory or partly LibDem will realise that Ruin is  not just Labour's work but  a fully-fledged, cross-party endeavour. And always was. A coalition, therefore, is not going to be twice as good but twice as bad. They are like an  aggressive cancer, this gang, blitzkrieging not only our rights and customs but even, for fucks sake,  the truths of our language; they need cutting out, before their vanity, their shit-eating duplicity and their incompetence - from the unelected prime minister down - consume us all.


Justin said...

Aye. The time has come for a complete new system of government.
The best proposals I have seen were on a site I was shown some years ago

Just how such a system could be brought about was not laid out, but it must be possible.

PT Barnum said...

I find myself completely baffled by the current crew posing as the 'Government'. From the first glories of Gove's announcement about which schools would be allowed to fall down, through insisting on giving child benefit to people earning millions and aircraft carriers with no aircraft, to the current will they won't they tango of let's-ruin-universities, they are distinguished solely by incoherence and the law of unintended consequences. I mean, Brown was indecisive, incompetent, and tyrannical, but even he didn't give the impression of inventing 'policies' on a napkin* after too many brandies.

With the Labour shower, one knew it would only get ever worse, like watching a car crash. This is now like watching a car crash on ice - no idea where it'll end up but it won't be pretty.

*Isn't that one of those words which is supposed to expose one's class origins? I can never remember if serviette is U or non-U....

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...


Easy rule. Any word that seems French, avoid it.

Settee, serviette, lounge....

mongoose said...

They do say that you ain't a toff unless you got a napkin ring as a christening pressie.

No, nor did I.

PT Barnum said...

Thanks, Mr yaic. Makes sense, I suppose, since Frenchified words would sound like the nouveaux riche trying too hard.

Woman on a Raft said...

you ain't a toff unless you got a napkin ring as a christening pressie.

Then they've been had. Toffs do not re-use napkins (if they use them at all) and hence no need for a napkin ring.

If the staff are really determined you might have to put up with them folding the table linen in to unlikely shapes such as water lillies, which is a harmless if annoying diversion and something they can teach the children to do at Christmas.

I blame Paul Burrell; he was the very devil for table origami, but I learned long ago that these details matter to the staff so it's best to let them get on with it.

Napkin rings and their supposed connection with aristocracy is a myth of the Napkin Ring Marketing Board.

Woman on a Raft said...

But what I meant to say was that the local LDs have just shoved a note through my door saying that they are protesting vigorously at their own plan to increase tution fees.

Straight up, guv, they say they they have written to the Minister for Universites, Conservative MP David Willetts, and are calling on him to cancel "government" plans to raise the cap on tuition fees.

Wasn't there a scary film about a ventriloquist's dummy which expressed the other side of the owner's personality, but the ventriloquist wouldn't accept that it was himself who was doing the murders, or something?

mongoose said...

Then only one of our offspring is a faux toff, Mrs WOAR. Christening day and some git turned up with an antique napkin ring. Some bloody godfather you'll make, I thought.

The notion that we all sit around the dining room dabbing away the kedgeree on corners of linen napkins, doubtless while while flunkies Upstairs, Downstairs their way through life, well, it is completely beyond me. Are we not all surrounded by football boots, half-finished homework and Tesco deliveries? Can't remember the last time I saw the floor let alone a bleeding napkin.

mrs narcolept said...

Napkins? Dining room? Kitchen table has to do for us narcolepts, and then only if I can get my dear mr n to remove assorted mechanical objects from it first. If he needs to wipe oil off his hands he seizes the nearest tea-towel. He keeps putting bits of engine on the hob to warm up. I have no idea why he does this, or how to make him stop.

Anyway, the Liberal Democrats (even the name is smirky and prating, as if they, only they, espouse democracy) and their pact with the devil: if they are to survive as a party they will have to split, end this nonsense of a pretend Govament and force a general election. Only then the Conservatives would probably get a clear majority od seats, but with a large, implacably hostile and divided minority of people seething with rage and desperation. It is not much to look forward to.

Dick the Prick said...

Liberal Democrats are brilliant. I hope the co-alition lasts for a bit. It's a bit difficult caring too much about politics when economics runs the game.

I went to Dublin a couple of years ago on a stag do and the boys kept on saying it's all fake money. Dave's missus bought a lovely house not long back so I guess she's a bit angry +/or skint.

The Lib Dems lost my respect when they did sack the Ming. Lib Dems funding structure is different to Lab & Con in that each representative has to give up 10% of their wages and are liable for debts and liable action. The fraudster that bunged 'em £2.4 million could have proper fucked up some gobby lesbian social workers' mortgages.

Hmm..if Lib Dems wanna be Lib Dems then best for them to do it in public. Boundary changes are gonna change electoral maths next time but I'd be upset if we morphed into a 2 party state.

PT Barnum said...

But Mr DtP, I look at them and think it's a one party state in all but name. Like Eastenders, Coronation Street and Hollyoaks - all soap operas but meant for different demographics. Me, I'd like some different programmes.

DtP said...

Dear Mr PTB

Get the votes then. Piece of piss.