Thursday, 9 December 2010

HOW TO SPEAK COALITION. I, VINCE CABLE, PLEDGE TO THE VOTERS THAT IF ELECTED WE WILL NOT RAISE TUITION FEES, YOU HAVE MY WORD ON THAT.

TOILETEERS TRIUMPHANT.
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I AM PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT WE ARE RAISING TUITION FEES.

Well, there may have been iss-yoos with colleagues but we've got the legislation through. And with my friends in the riot police, we are demonstrating the new politics at work. Y'know, democracy is a woderful thing, especially when one hasn't been elected to government, like none of us have, or is it has? I'm never sure. Often I don't know what it is I'm talking about. Good job the nation loves me for my dancing. And my joke about Mr Bean. Rotten, lying piece of shiteating garbage?  Well, I would be very careful about what I said, if I was you, or else we may have to put the police on you; we're not really liberal you know, at least, not in the sense of being liberal. Just ask my colleague, Straight Simon Hughes,  the famous gaybashing homosexual. Must run, have to meet with colleagues for a snack, yes, in the toilet, if you must know.

11 comments:

Mike said...

Politicians are liars and self-serving pricks - well, that's hardly news.

What is more of a shock is that this lot are as bad as the last lot - so where lies salvation?

Dick the Prick said...

The salvation lies (err..?) in voting Tory - at least they tell ya they're gonna fuck you so you can make allowances. It's always better to work up from the gutter.

Oh, to be a Lib Dem; as said - it's not even Liberal? Fuck 'em.

Woman on a Raft said...

One cannot help but smirk when Chas and Cam find themselves in danger of being dragged out of the car like a snail out of its shell and forced in to contact with the people they spend most of their time patronizing.

With the strange hypocrisy which afflict sentimentalists like me, I'd have been baying for blood if it had been Her Maj or her bad-tempered husband. Go figure.

Why am I supposed to be upset that a person can find they are in danger of being done over in riot when the same thing can happen to me in any police station? Ain't I an old boot, too?

Edgar said...

"... the biggest, most dramatic redistribution of power from elites in Whitehall to the man and woman on the street", quote from Mr Cameron, describing his vision of the Big Society.

Well, he may turn out to have been right about that, although in a way not anticipated.

I get about a lot more, these days, than I did for a couple of years, and hear snatches of conversation between people on the street, in the train, and so on. It's simply not true that the British 'public' are distracted by rubbish TV and lies in newspapers. There seems to be an awareness, among many, of this alarming slide into chaos, and a sense of helplessness.

Which is worse: to ride along, willy-nilly, on this wave of destruction, or to oppose it and, perhaps, end up with something even worse? No-one knows. But, from the look of things to me, decision time is looming as, one-by-one, the remaining lamps of a crippled culture sputter and die.

call me ishmael said...

Now, that is interesting, Mr Edgar. Being a mansekeeper in the far North, I don't get around much anymore, and hardly at all in England's blessed shires and towns but the other night I looked at the Daily Mail coverage of the Assange arrest and was staggered by the tidal wave of cynicism from those posting on the boards - overwhelmimgly, by a hundred to one, posters were savagely anti-American, anti-GlobaCorp, anti-politician, just reams of stanislavian bile and reproof, a readership entirely aware of the shit it is being fed, coruscating and uncompromising, leaping on the odd cornfed redneck who was, shit-stupid, calling the Australian Assange a traitor to Uncle Sam.

And then there is the retaliatory cyber attack itself, wonderful and inspiring - see, nerds are good for something, after all. It is better, mr edgar, as you almost say, to take arms against a sea of troubles and by opposing, end them. That would be the thing to do for the grandchildren, make warriors of them, rather than nasty, obedient little consumer fuckpigs. Today, little one, pay attention, as Grandad shows you how to make a Molotov Cocktail.

mongoose said...

Just heard some parasitical, lying snake bastard on the radio revelling in their triumph in "carrying the argument". I missed his name but, fuck me, I have lived too long. Carried the fucking argument, did they? There has been no argument. That was the point, was it not? Pop round here, you bastard, and I will show you what an argument is.

They ought be dragged out of there my their lying tongues and up the steps with them all. Vince first.

call me ishmael said...

Not long enough, mr mongoose, you're an engineer, ploughshares into swords, sharpened sticks from broomhandles, metaphorically or otherwise.

mongoose said...

I thought, fool that I was, that I might be able to live with it. Dear God, it has turned to such craven horror so fast even the trains are crying.

call me ishmael said...

You will know, of course, mr mongoose, that the original title to It Takes A Lot To Laugh.....was The Phantom Engineer, won't you?

mongoose said...

Engineers are everywhere, Mr I. Don't say I never warned you.

call me ishmael said...

Bravo, mr m, bravo. After that, I could die happily ever after.