Friday 1 July 2016

ALL THE YOUNG DUDES.

LET NOT TO THE MARRIAGE OF TRUE MINDS ADMIT IMPEDIMENT

 Mr & Mrs Gnasher, 
the Tribesmen's First Couple



mr walter asked if Mr Gnasher, Scotland's  First Gentleman, also known as Mr Peter Murrel, CEO of the Tribesmen's Party, salary £120,000 a year, was in fact 66 years old. 
He is.

Mrs Gnasher Murrel, Scotland's First FishWife, salary £115,000 a year,  all found, is 45, 21 years his junior. The couple are childless, having married in 2010, 

 

when he was 60, she 39.

Mrs Alec Salmond, born 1937, is 78 

 
 and almost invisible. 

The FatMan, himself, is 61, 17 years her junior. 

 
The couple are childless, 
having married when he was 26 and she 43.

 

TWO FIRST MINISTERS BORROW SOME CHILDREN,
FOR APPEARANCE'S SAKE. 
BLESS.

Grooming doesn't have to be  a dirty word. 
 

 This has been a public information bulletin brought to you by the Scottish resistance movement, which reminds readers that people are free to marry as they chose, without obligation to procreate. Even so....
 

24 comments:

Mike said...

At least the future gene pool will improve.

inmate said...

As they say round these parts, they'ed spoil another couple.

Thank the Lord.

call me ishmael said...

Astride the Gread and Ambition, there sits something perverse, I feel, about this ill-matched quartet, some whiff of the Devil's bowels.

It was George Steiner who said that the Holocaust happened because the 1930s Berlin intelligentsia was too busy listening to the string quartet in the salon to hear the scream in the street; somehing similar is happening in Scotland, where Reason provokes the enmity of Office.

mongoose said...

I thought we knew who (else) Wee Eck was shagging.

call me ishmael said...

Poor, poor, pitiful me, mr monmgoose, I always thought that he only had eyes for himself, the FatMan, imagined him masturbatiing in a roomful of mirrors, lying on a bed of fity pound notes, with the horse-racing on the radio.

I've been watching him for fifteen year and he IS a frightful narcissist, and he DOES love the sounbd of his own voice AND he did learn his vile trade in the bars and bondage parlours of Westminster. I am sure he's not like Bukkake Boy Osborne, too bloated and porcine, but there is definitely something vile and creepy about Earl Salmond of that ilk.

Had you heard that he was making adulterous FishPie with wee Mrs Gnasher? Do tell.

Mike said...

Its Freudian: both Gnasher and FatMan are insecure (hence the false bombast) and need a parental figure - someone safe who can wipe their bottoms, tuck them into bed and read them stories.

SG said...

Meanwhile, anti-democracy demonstrations have taken place in London and York. Some young, blue vested air-head, interviewed on Sky Made Up News and Filth, said she knew it was a democratic vote but wanted to express her 'disapproval' at the outcome. Who are these egomaniacal imbeciles? What has happened to young people? 18 - 24 year olds were so concerned about the potential outcome that only 36% of them voted - attendance at Glastonbury being doubtless more important than the future of the nation... I wager a good many of the 64% were covered in blue paint and carrying placards at one of today's demonstrations... Grrr! Thank God for 'old people'!

Bungalow Bill said...

May's ascension looks inexorable. She is, in her vacuity, a perfect New Britannia. I find it hard to express my rage about this, a rage I should be wise enough not to feel. Will she (or those behind her) just rule over us, will we let that happen? I suggested an oncoming darkness the other day but perhaps we are doomed to be wrapped in beige and told not to worry about anything and not to try to wake again.

My last bout of pessimism was unfounded but fucking hell this feels like the final anaesthesia coming on. PKD knew it, as previously discussed on here, my God he looks more than ever the prophet. Him and two others on my mind, Kafka and Huxley. I looked again at The Castle recently; now there's a real horror story but a documentary of our time.

SG said...

I fear you are right about that Mr BB. Having looked at the runners and riders, I'm inclined to agree with Mr I - that Leadsom looks like the best of a bad bunch - at least she's had a job and got some idea of how 'The City' works so can probably navigate her way through the panic whenever a sparrow farts at the wrong time of the morning or when Hedge Fund managers are taking advantage of a 'retail opportunity'...

Mike said...

Mr BB and Mr SG: I'm hopeful your pessimism is mis-founded. There must be a vote amongst grassroots Tory members; a stitchup for May will cause a rebellion and split the Tories terminally. The ticket will be May vs Leadsom (as Gove will have bowed to the backlash and thrown his lot in with Leadsome). In a grassroots vote Leadsome gets it.

Dick the Prick said...

Salmond wanking in a room full of mirrors is, yer know, quite horrific. I think I may need a safe space or something. #shudder (as the kids might say)

call me ishmael said...

I think that's correct, mr mike, the shire Tories won't stand for May being annointed, and Andrea, a Leaver, ill win, Otherwise the Conservatiove membership will be at war with the PLP and be forced to state publicly that it is in a GNU with Blairish Labour, in the national interest, of course.

mongoose said...

The magic bullet is Article 50. Leadsom - who sounded an intelligent woman - not politician intelligent but like a normal human being - is the only one who could say that, yes, she'd ring up the cunt Juncker the first morning, invoke Article 50, and kill the EU, fuck 'em. They are though going to tear the poor woman to pieces this next fortnight. Prepare for a lot of backsliding and tactical shit, moans about experience, about the need for deals and arrangements, all of which will be hugely destructive to everyone but her. Because we all know what they mean, don't we. Or they'll buy her off.

Cameron knows that he fucked it; Blair (or some other pig) is his only chance of finessing an EU Lite. What do the frogs say? "Plus ca change, plus c'est le meme chose." Coming to a life like yours unless we keep a firm grip on the throats of the bastards.

Bungalow Bill said...

Yes Leadsom is already coming under assault. Hope Mr MIke and Mr I are right. Incredibly high stakes - and with Chilcot arriving. The fuckwit Left is also a major complication I'm afraid, fighting on all the wrong fronts as per.

call me ishmael said...

Somebody needs to point-out that Type 1 diabetes is a serious medical condition. It is not, believe me, something that One Just Gets On With, as May has opined, after a few months insider knowledge. Type 1 should rule anyone out of positions of serious responsibility; it doesn't matter how careful one is - and no-one is careful enough - high or low blood sugar can blindside you; urgency, crisis, fatigue - commonplaces, one would imagine, in a prime minister's life, emotional upset, family setbacks, the weather, there are many extraneous and unpredictable conditions which can impinge upon blood glucose control, which in turn can, sometimes, separate you from yourself, depersonalise the most confident and stable of people, rendering them ineffective or dangerous or both. That May is too stubbornly and immodestly stupid to understand this is reason enough for her to be sent to the backbenches, immediately. The idea of a Type 1 diabetic as prime minister is, to anyone with a grain of wit, darkly comical.

call me ishmael said...

Once, in France, I was sitting-up late, in my hosts lounge. I was carefully snipping away the upholstery of the settee, using the scissors attachment of my Swiss Army Knife; I was convinced that my Swiss Army Knife had slipped down inside the settee and was irretrievable unless I sliced-away the fabric. One part of my mind was desperate to retrieve the knife,while anther part was using it quite skilfully. I had been drinking earlier but this was a low blood sugar event,

Another time I awoke in floods of sweat, unable to orientate myself. I didn't know where up was, or down, didn't know what was horizontal, vertical or diagonal, especially diagonal, although I could barely move I was trying to arrange myself on the bed in a conventional position, head at the top, feet at the bottom, didn't matter how much I squirmed I continued to perceive myself as lying diagonally on the bed, even though I was, in fact, in the conventional oriententation, The sweat, I thought, must flood the room and float the bed. mrs ishmael was attending to me but I didn't know who she was, more strangely, I didn't know who I was. I knew I was somebody and I ought to know who that person was but for what seemed like a year or two, I didn't. I simply did not know who I was. The whole thing was about five minutes, I now know. A low blood sugar event.

I have experie4nced, I think, three or four of these severe events in thirty years. It is because of them that I - a fairly well-controlled diabetic, don't own a shotgun, ride a motor-cycle or seek the office of prime minister.

call me ishmael said...

All that is right, mr mongoose, course it is, but the antidote to such pessimism is the result itself, all of those forces were in play before the event and they failed, if anything they increased the climate of rage. This will be doing the same and unless someone like Andrea Leadsom is properly elected we will have the spectacle of both parties effectively at war not only with their memberships but also with seventeen million voters. The PBC is at Remain fever pitch, sympathising last night with an East Anglian Pole who has opened a string of Polish grocery shops, where "Polish people can talk their own language as thay buy their own food." Brexit she says, means that the cost of her imported Polish food will rise, terefore there should be another vote. This is utterly bizarre, this isn't reporting this is full-on propaganda, emotional blackmail. WHo gives a fuck about a retailer moaning about market forces, if her imports go up she'll have to charge more, simple, silly cow, and maybe her customers will have to demand better wages. The PBC is a fairyland but so very many people now disregard the whole wretched monolith of MediaMinster, knowing a priori that it exists only to tell lies. Courage, mon brave, as we proper Europeans say.

call me ishmael said...

And in the States, the Establishment is cock-a-hoop over the fact that some rotten old Republican grandees have come out in favour of President Trousers and against their own nemesis Donald Trump, Crazy bastards think that somehow, this will slow Trump, when inf fact to will only accelerate him.

Dick the Prick said...

Fuck me sideways, Mr Smith - I didn't have a clue Type 1 was like that. It's kinda turned into a fucking coronation now so I guess that hurdle has been kicked over. To be cont up blog but good health to you buddy.

mongoose said...

All the New Maggie needs to do is wait until the ladies are the last two and then say that Theresa is a Hillary-esque insider, part of the problem, that she will cheat and lie, and will not deliver Brexit. Who in the blue Tory EU-sceptical shires would be prepared to take the risk? Not a fucking soul. She'd storm home.

call me ishmael said...

It's not always, mr dick, once every ten years or so maybe; it's just the existence of the possibility which, in decent people, would restrain their ambition, Claiming that it will never happen to you is absurd.

call me ishmael said...

She would be correct. too, Leadsom, in Hillarying Tracey May, for she is all of those things, and most of all she was a Remainer, a Cavalier, a heretic, she is showing too much brass neck even in running, mr mongoose.

Dick the Prick said...

Those are good stats

SG said...

BTW, Mr I, Type 1 diabetes 'may' be the very least of it:


https://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=LS37SNYjg8w