Monday, 25 July 2016


It was mr tdg, back up the road, who pointed out that Donald Trump more or less epitomised the (white) American spirit;  now Trump is the bete noir of luvvies everywhere and what Trumpophobia illustrates is the threadbare, transluscent illusion  of our own democracy

In striking similarity to their behaviour after our  recent plebiscite, mr bungalow bill's liberal fascists now shriek that voting is all very well, a sacred right and duty, of course it is, but only as long as people vote as they are instructed by their betters; the Guardian seeks a new, national rotten borough, in which Organised Crime, celebrities, MediaMinster and  pitiable, howling mutant  Transexuals set and maintain the national agenda, and in which the Worthless Normal do as they are told;  a sunny privileged upland, where the smug, braying children of smug, braying parents - who luv'em2bits, me, mykidz -  can, equipped witn a degree in illiteracy, innumeracy and physical incompetence,  gap-year around Europe without let or hindrance,  as though they were re-embodied 18th. century gentlemen, instead of pampered, useless fuckwits, GrandTouring, horrid little fucking bastards; national service is what they need, dry stone-walling, caring for the elderly and never mind non-judgemental  gender options, cunts is what  they are, the New People and their brats, and Donald Trump lights a fire up their arses, how very dare he say these things, and how very dare tens of millions of Americans listen to him and find him Good ? This is not why we discriminate so very studiously and ethically between our coffee beans, making informed consumer choices which leave as small a footprint as possible,  this is not why we bare our arses in a frank and open - as long as people don't swear or question our integrity - frank and open and very serious dialogue on Twitter, so's Americans can vote for who they feel represents them.  I mean, what would the world be like, if people just voted for whom- or whatsoever they chose?  That's simply not what democracy's about, not in my book. And those seventeen million people, they certainly don't outnumber the three million who have signed a petition for a re-run. So there.

Four million people voted for Farage, last year, and the liberal fascists, instead of hearing a voice other than their own,  mocked the fact that the Kippers managed only one seat in parliament,  this mockery occurred despite the fact that the screechers had, during the last Coalition government,  demanded proportional representation; must've meant   proportional representation for metrosexual, dog-shooting, gender-spectruming  liberals, but FPTP for those dwelling in Northern.

Earier this year, seventeen million voted to leave the EU, and, within weeks,
 this bogus, junky humanitarian, 
We Are The World, Not Yous Fuckers.
What a cunt.

having seen-off  a junky wife he had fucked-up  and a junky daughter he had fucked-up,  struts his pigmy stage, berating folks  for disagreeing with his world-view, 

 and for their clothing
really important, clothing. 

Bob Geldof, in any decent society, would be stripped of his assets, rubbed down with a housebrick and deported back to his native shithole in Dublin, where he could link scrawny arms with his fellow louts, Marty Kneecaps and Gerry Nonce, in their joint pursuit of fascism. 
Instead, we have knighted the cunt, 

and posthumously deified his grotesque spawn. 
One hates to give up entirely on any poor lost soul but Geldof is and has always been such a contemptible individual that one now has no choice.  
I think maybe his own spit-flecked gob and his junky ego may, this time, have sunk him and that he may join his mates Tony, Imelda, 
George Bush and Spunky Bill, in splendid isolation, in that jet-set sewer, flitting nervously from hideout to hideout, 

'Sright, Bobby-boy, Shucks, y'all in big-time crime, now.

counting his money, fretful about his come-uppance.

Meantime, we call Donald Trump names. Sure, he is a completely loathsome human being but he has never, unlike our own politicians, sat at the United Nations,

lying his ugly face off, promoting a holocaustal, profiteering war, entirely on manufactured grounds, largely invented by a worthless, drunken pornographer.
Spot the dangerous  maniac. 
Whoops, they're both dangerous maniacs.

Donald Trump has never, to the best of my knowledge, anyway, colluded in decades of child-raping by his constituents, just as long as they voted for his party.

Has never served time for stealing from the taxpayer, 
whilst covering-up that same widespread child abuse.

Denis MacShane:

 Denis MacShane: I was too much of a 'liberal leftie' and should have done more to investigate child abuse

Former Rotherham MP admits he could have done more to "burrow into" the problem in his constituency,

But insists, as do they all,  that he never done nothing wrong.

 Donald Trump, as far as I know, has never used a government position to tout for illegal business. 

Yes, I can, quite improperly, and yes, probably illegally,  interfere in the workings of foreign countries, in order to get you what you want. Yes, only five grand a half-day. 

A blowjob, yes, I can do that, too. 
Here, in parliament. Yes, of course
 Would you like me to keep the braces on?  Yes, I am minded, myself, to say they are rather fetching.

Donald Trump has never, to my knowledge, repeatedly lied to his legislature, to the police or to the Courts of his nation, nor shifted blame  to his wife for an offence which he committed.
But this cunt has.

Donald Trump has never falsely claimed taxpayer-funded expenses.
But these cunts have.

Donald Trump has never, to my knowledge,  accepted huge bribes from dictators and tyrants.

 But these cunts have.

Donald Trump has never, to my knowledge, waged massive and wholly illegal wars of aggression and plunder on the civilians of  other nation states.

 Like Iraq.

Or Libya.

But these cunts have.

Donald Trump, to the best of my knowledge, has never practised military-strength, murderous racism against his fellow citizens.

Nor maintained, offshore, throughout eight dark, cruel years, an obscene torture facility which he had promised to close.

Yes, you can't.

But this cunt did. 

I don't know, therefore, what is so bad about Donald Trump.  Sure he's a bully, an uncouth lout,  a rabble rouser, possibly, like everyone in MediaMinster who voted for Iraq, a rotten racist;  his behaviour in Scotland, under the auspices of Alec Fatman, 

Aye, I give him your land and he gives me my money. 

was and continues to be despicable, reprehensible, and cowardly;  the man is  a horrible fucking bastard, his wives are baggages and  his children look and sound like mutants.
But as for him dividing America, that's already been accomplished; as for him impoverishing America, that's already been accomplished,  too; as for him making America despised, worldwide, that's already been accomplished and as for him starting World War Three, well that was started years ago by these rotten fucking bastards. 

 For services rendered to the shareholders in GlobaDeath.
I mean to the Merkin people.

If Donald Trump was to win, hit the ground running, pray to Satan five times daily, drink sacrificed infants' blood and appoint a team to identify very, very  bad things for him to do, at home and abroad, he wouldn't cause a fraction of the damage wrought  by his recent criminal predecessors on both sides of the Atlantic.  
As  we said,  back up the road, and as mr tdg hinted at, months ago, angry American voters are looking into Donald Trump's ugly face and seeing themselves. 
When they look into Hillary Clinton's face, they just see ugly.
May the least ugly American win. 


Dick the Prick said...

I don't know the Amerkan psyche that well - seems a bit fucked up, frankly, and their sense of humour usually has me looking around as though i've missed something. But i've started voting as a bit of a piss take - a sort of rage against the machine shit, fuck you I won't do what you tell me mise en scene type bullshit. When it now transpires that the Chair of the DNC in her role as arbiter and returning officer clearly fucked up the nomination and all that happens is that she resigns later - well, fuck me sideways and call me Gerald but that's surely taking the absolute fucking piss.

Not only has Trump gone through the whole process fairly, democratically, legally to the chagrin of the RNC hierarchy and won, well - it kinda pisses all over stitch ups. It's a bit like the Labour Party - with vast amounts of cash, power and contacts Hilary still can't fix the fucking vote without people finding out. It's amateur hour.

Sure, Trump is a twat but he knows that - he must know that. It's one thing bullshitting some real estate guys but totally something else bullshitting the punters and i'm sure the Joint Chiefs and NSA briefings have collectively dragged him closer to reality and power than he ever thought possible.

They say that the most dangerous presidents have been the smartest ones which sounds plausible. As long as he gets a good team around him and hires people that feel fine disagreeing with him then he should do fine, I think. Certainly no worse than Hilary who's been scheming so long that all she's left with is corrupt and annointed ambition - fuck that - people don't get turns at this shit.

As per the gap year shit - i'm in the process of quitting my job, fiddling my finances and plan to fuck off travelling for a year. I dunno - I kinda just worked out i've totally wasted the last 5 years and one of my best mates is emigrating to Thailand and I thought - I could do a bit of that. I always thought I was a pikey masquerading as some middle class cunt - maybe i've had it the wrong way round all my life!

Alphons said...

I can think of no other country in the world, except America, where two weirdos like these could even be concidered eligable to be elected as leader. What has gone wrong with the world?

call me ishmael said...

I dunno, m alphons, someone, somewhere will haave a succint and pungent explanation for all this, but it will be only partial and mr dick the prick's is as valid as any which might be offered, basically that the crooks are in charge as never before, Spunky Bill makes Joe Kennedy Snr, look like a decent citizen, a believer in democracy. I have been watching this shit for decades and it mystifies me more each time.

What I do know is that - I have mentioned this previously - Richard Nixon was impeached for erasing eleven minutes of audio tape, while the naggage, Clinton, destoyed thirty thousand emails, which were the property of the state, has taken massive donations from enemies of the state, has been fatally neglectful with employees of the state and been found, by the state, to be blameless. were Trump to burn it all down it would be no loss.

call me ishmael said...

That's very good, mr dick, I enjoyed that; I hope you take an i-thing with you, travelling, although it would be better it you didn't go. Firstly, you would be missed, here and I'm sure elsewhere - what about your Mum? and your bro', imagine if some toothy Thai policeman fitted you up with drugs and you wound-up facing one of their firing squads - but more importantly it's just shit, abroad, and only going to get worse, headchoppers and all sorts of riff-raff.

None of us know who we are, or why; no need to flee the fucking country; simply too, too Steven Fryish, that.

mongoose said...

Is not electoral fraud a crime in America? And surely this cannot have happened without cost, and therefore one would have thought that a misuse of funds has occurred. Perhaps even funds have been sought and received from third parties upon false pretences. Can a complaint not be made to the police?

Perhaps not yet, eh? Plenty of time for mischief between now and November.

Dick the Prick said...

Just watched Michael 'not gay, honest' Portillo's programme in Amerika and they had a re-enactment from the 1850's or something where the Oirish mob boss got his crew to beat people up to ensure their Democratic Party votes - the mob boss was also their Congressman - hee hee.

Ha ha - Steven Fryish - fuck me, that's gonna take some safe space time shifting!!

Nah, if anything i'm pretty darned reluctant about the whole thing but I seem to have moved to a natural break in my job - namely, it's total shite, an absolute waste of time, filled with really nasty, petty and aggressive politics with it being my turn to get kicked in the head and transferred to do some other shit or sacked. I think I just need a proper break and with one of my best chums from college emigrating - well, can give it a try. Not gonna stay in Thailand though - just a base for a month or two - get dysentery and sunstroke, head caved in during the next round of their military coup and get raggedly bumfucked in some Thai jail for being caught with the dog-end of a bifter whilst everyone around me was ignored whilst injecting smack.

I think i've done as much as I can with the old family - they're starting to do my head in which isn't a nice thing to say but, yer know, fuck 'em - I can't help much more. Sort my pit out so it can be rented, blag one of those teach Englaise to Jonny foreigner courses and fuck off for a bit. Added bonus is that I can delete the last 2 years on my CV like it never happened and come back with more beans than i've got at the mo.

It's not a full-proof plan, but, as you say, with i-thingies and my most notable ambition being to learn how to fish - it seems a good plan D or something. I've been working solidly for 20 years and accidently got myself into a fake government department that has no Godly reason to exist and, yer know, bollox to it all.

This is gonna sound weird but - it all started when I sent my ex-Tory boss a 'well done' e-mail after Brexit. I had a stand up row with the guy after 2010 and thought i'd blotted my copy book hence not doing much overt Tory shit since. The dumb fuck replied saying 'cheers Dicky - what the chuff have you been up to, why haven't you been doing party shit?' And I just thought - oh, ffs, have I been doing fucking bureaucracy for the last 4 years when I could have been tossing it off taking the piss out of Labour? Funny how assumptions, when corrected, change the past - or some shit like that, anyway. Could be worse (with apologies to Mr Mike) could be Australia!!!

Mike said...

Well, Mr Dick, until I read your last sentence I was about to suggest a sojourn Down Under; New Zealand is a beautiful place as well. Have you thought of walking the Camino? Its a great experience, spiritual almost, but not easy physically or mentally - if you don't cheat. And good camaraderie amongst fellow pilgrims.

call me ishmael said...

But the Clintons were born crooked, mr mongoose, and have been so all the way down the line, I wondered, at the time, what sort of deal thay had wrung from Obama, I know it involved him using his contributors' campaign donations to pay off her significant expenses, although, even then, she had dark money coming from her ears odd, isn't it, that the funds of those who opposed the creepy bitch were siphoned off by her and Spunky Bill and the uhly mutant brat Chelsea, fuck me, Chelsea, if they'd had a son they'd probably have called him Big Yellow Taxi. Anyway, Hillary is bribed with her opponents' money and clearly promised the plum job, after POTUS; tghe assumotion has to be that she would spend Obama's second term taking bribes from criminals, aliens and runnuing for office. I wonder what else he did for her co-operation and knowing how sanctimoniously rotten he is, also, maybe he indemnified her from prosecution, whatever the fuck she did, absolutely whatever.

But as youn say< if I suspect this then so will Donald Trump, and even if not a word of it is true then many will be happy to believe it. What sort of sense one might expect, however, from a nation which bent-over for 9/11 is a mystery. Time will tell, who has fell and who's been left behind, and November is some way away. I guess, if one has it, a hundred quid on Trump might extend itself somewhat.

Mike said...

Mr I: you should watch Clinton Cash the movie. Its free on youtube. But keep some heart pills close at hand, and hide hammers.

mongoose said...

I think that overnight we have seen reason to be a little optimistic that the revolution spreads. The Democrats in America have perpetrated a hoax, a rigged reality TV show, and have taken a year over it. Bernie Sanders may last night have taken the yankee dollar by standing by the woman who fucked him over - so ruthlessly that I am surprised that an old boy can still stand - but many of his supporters have not. Even if he has sold out, they have not.

The ludicrously maladroit attempt to distract and diffuse and then replace the argument by getting the FBI to look at the hacking, and yattering about the the Russians and then the Trump link. Dear me, it was like something the toddler who stole the biscuits might have attempted. The fix was in from the first day. The Democratic leadership conspired together to defraud their supporters of a valid selection process. They should all hang together and one must hope that in November they do.

Meanwhile, the Shadow Cabinet resigners are now starting to unresign. They should brand them on the forehead though- so that we can know them - and Bernie too. The sorry, sad old bastard. Was it all for this, Bernie?

call me ishmael said...

My sentiments exactly, mr mongoose, and those of hundreds of millions; the whole wide world is watching. Sanders is a disgrace, bleating that his proven criminal is preferable to an unknown, her crimes less important than Trump's personal shortcomings. Christ almighty, to think that I tried to donate some money to his campaign; he should crawl away and drink his own piss for the rest of his miserable fucking life; still, if enough of his supporters vote Green that'll keep the witch off the broomstick - we must assume that she will never face any prosecution for her high crimes and misdemeanours, blithedly washing her hands of this outrage, snarling, I can't speak for people who doh-work-fa-me, putrid, pox-ridden old wretch.

What really, really got my goat, having watched the whole shebang on TeeVee, was reading the Guardian, just a bit later, where the big issue was not the wrongdoing but the claim that it had been revealed by Russia, in the crime of the century. Even if this was true, which it isn't, why is that a bigger story than the story itself?

Even those writing on the Guardian cyber toilet wall were enraged, ninety-nine out of a hundred cursing the rag and its writers six ways to Christmas.

Oh and one other matter, small but pertinent, Emily Stringbean, off Newsnight, was mistily filmed, pouting and gyrating her way through some Amish town, fuck knows why, I was hoping Harrison Wood would appear, raise a barn, strip-off and ravish Emily, although I guess they are both too grey and sinewy for that.

I thought we already paid for US corresondents at the PBC and dunno what Emily and those crazy bastard buggy-driving misanthropes have to do with the election but I guess the crew enjoyed themselves, and that's the main thing, it's what the license fee is all about.

Anyway, Ems was joshing one of her US journo mates, about how this would effect Hillary, how Hillary would react; what was now the best way for Hillary to win; what could everybody do, to help Hillary beat Donald Trump? Y'know, one big happy family of neo-con war criminals, bless. I could shit better copy than that.

call me ishmael said...

Five minutes, mr mike, was all I could stand. I like women, generally preferring women to men, sometimes, anyway, perhaps often; I feel or believe that their bearing children at the whim of a menstrual cycle, raising and nurturing, comforting and intuiting are what made the hunting and gathering possible; the calculus, the symphony, the Saturn rocket. I don't mean that in a They Also Serve Who Only Stand And Wait manner, just that if there is no difference, as we must now affirm, then what's it all for?

It has been a sorrow of my life that women in power are so uncharacteristic of their gender, Thatcher, Meir, Ghandi, Chrissie la Vache, Gnasher, Merkel, and now Mrs Askey; nasty, spiteful brutes; what is the point of them? Hillary Trousers, though, she's got cold poison in her mind and a hot cash register where her heart oughta be, a gargoyle de nos jours.

yardarm said...

Did religion originate in the Orkneys Mr Ismael because like the deserts, wide open spaces under many stars, leading men to think of the Infinite ?

If Hilary Entitlement ever wonders what created Trump she should look in the mirror; she, her sex predator husband, the Bushes, Reagan, the dummy Obama. Their DNA is in their avatar, The Dump. They gave him form, their cuntish policies summoned him from Satan`s shit heap.

mongoose said...

Jesus! What a fucking bonehead.

Obama says the Experts say that the Ruskies did it.

They must be as worried as worried persons can be. This is the old politics. That's over now. Fuck me. Damage limitation and sinking into the swamp and five months out still.

call me ishmael said...

It is, nevertheless, a joy to see, is it not, mr mongoose, the nerve of siome people?

call me ishmael said...

mr anonymous said above, mr yardarm, that maybe it was the chilly climate; Orkney though, wasn't cold six thousand years ago, and nor is it now, actually, the average annual temperature is the same as at Kew Gardens; it is certainly windy but in fifteen years I have never had a frozen pipe and have only rarely seen a thin crust of ice on standing water. If you look with those eyes you can see wonder and feel awe but most of the time it is just like any Scottish isle - a wee bit hard going, sometimes.

I believe that the US establuishment is doing what the TopHatters did before Brexit, with the same likely outcome.

Woman on a Raft said...

Have a heart Mr Ish, Mr Wood is over 70 and he got his leg broken in the door of his own space ship. Reports say the Millenium Falcon was a death-trap, an accident waiting to happen. Well, I could have told them than in 1987.

Computer fixed now.

gasky said...

Welcome back Mrs woar

SG said...

I may yet persuade you to love the A-Bomb Mr I...

call me ishmael said...

So's Emily Muscles, mrs woar, over 70, it's only all the running and workouts and Christ knows what chemical potions and surgical interventions keeping her alive; she's really three hundred years old.

As for computers, I have just been talking to an AppleHead, telling her that no, I wasn't gonna just answer a few security questions and if she didn't re-connect my email immediately I would turn myself into a pulse of energy, hurtle through the phone line and destroy Apple HQ; Ismae' I be'ah ge' you ma supahvisah....

It's like an Old Testament punishment, this fucking IT stuff