Monday, 18 July 2016


I must make confession, forgive me, friends, for I have sinned. Some impossibly cretinous hack from skymadeupnewsandfilth this morning advised me that I should stay tuned, as they were soon gonna bring us the one-minute's silence, from Nice, from the very sight of the most infamous slalom, where more people died than have ever died in that manner, at that place, than at any other moment in time. Or, indeed, history. Ever, in fact.
This was the low point or, depending upon your point of view, the high point of lethal mothertruckery on le boulevard de whatever it was.
 Heartthrob President Frankie

 has been forced to put his cock back in his trousers and stop enticing young actresses to fondlez-vous mon cock, cherie, c'est  tres aristocratique, even though Je suis le socialiste, only not tres socialiste, 

parce-que Je suis le garcon de tea, pour les terroristes financiale, n'est ce pas? Et aussi, Je suis la fellatrix premier des Bosches.
Vive la France, eh? Ou peut etre Non, vive l'Union European  et merde.
Only a couple of weeks ago the wretched Hollande was trying, in a fit of post-Brexit francopique,  


to bully the nation - us - which has twice saved the Frog arse from Frau Merkel's grandparents and uncles. 
All Euro-exchanges must de withdrawn from the City of London, he roared, as if he could count a handful of francs and get the same numer twice in a row. Now the cheeky cock-waving dwarfbastard bleats about us all being in this shit together. 
Any decent politician would've resigned over this year's security failures but as far as Frankie Hollande is concerned the buck stops with anyone but him.

When the Frog elite starts accepting some responsibilty for its behaviour, vis a vis the dastardly wog, 

Liberte, Fraternite et bombez-vous les nig-nogs.

maybe then I'll join  their mourning. 
Until then or until the French once again revolt they  can go all and fuck themselves, s'ils vous plait.

I guess that sky's Justin Shithead expected me to join the Frog flashmourners, maybe standing-up, silently mouthing the words of le Marseillaise, head-bowed, but defiant, down but not out, and fuck me, I forgot all about it. 

But while I wasn't flashmourning I have been busy testing the world reaction to whatever it all was.

The people of this island have asked us, so they have, to express our disgust at the Nice Slalom, as that bloke Ishmael calls it. It's just dreadful, so it us, and unacceptable, too, that people just out for the evening, enjoying themselves, can be killed by a bunch of heartless murdering psychopaths.

Just celebratin' a national event, so they were,
Belfast 1974

NIce 2016

 and some utter scum, there's no other word for yon bastards, some utter scum just killed them where they stood, with their weans an' their mammies'n'daddies.
 Eniskillen 1987, 
Remembrance Day Masssacre

We, in the Provisional IRA, I mean in Sinn Fein, we utterly and totally condemn, so we do, the taking of innocent lives in the pursuit of some vicious shitbrain political superstition, so we do.

 Birmingham 'pub bombings

Some a yon young people, they were just out for the night having a wee drink, so they were, and some cunt came along and blew them to fucking pieces, so he did, in the Tavern in the Town and the Mulberry Bush.  I mean ran them down with a lorry on the beach at Nice, smashin' them all to fuckin' pieces.
IRA victims in Birmingham.

Mind youse, at least them IRA boys  had the courage to run away and let some other bastards take the blame, whereas yer man, the nigger, in Nice, he was cowardly enough to die at the scene. Honest to God, today's terrorist scum have a lot to learn, so they do, from the Provisional IRA. We always ran away, so we did, when we killed innocent civilians.

And we stand together with all peace-loving democratic mass murderers  everywhere, aye, and as experts in conflict resolution, too, in condemning those bastards that kill and maim and torture their way through their own communities, buryin' poor wee women alive, an' denyin' it, even to this day,  threatenin' and intimidatin' ordinary decent people. It's just pure shite, so it is and we condemn it absolutely, so we do.

D'you think they believed us, us havin' killed thousands?
Och, away man, yer bum's out the window, so it is; 
fuck 'em, they can't touch us. 

And nor can they.

My fellow motherfuckers, 
I would just like to join with my terrorist colleagues from the IRA, Mr Kneecaps and Mr ChildMolester, in very sincerely condemning the events in France.  The killing of civilians is entirely wrong. Except in those instances  where it is done on the orders of myself or some other cunt who is beyond the law.  
Yes, like President-elcct Trousers,


or her first gentleman, 
my very good friend,
 President Spunky Bill 

Niggers or Orangemen, yeah, way to go, roast their asses, Gerry.

And I am sure, motherfuckers,  that I speak for all of those who work so tirelessly for peace in the world.

 Including Lord Blair of Chilcot and his good wife,
 Lady Imelda Slut, 

A mutual kiss, Death's own halitosis.

Aye, wee darlin' and we're both just hogs for death, eh, isn't that right? 
Oh, Martin, you're such a flirt.

seen here embracing a fellow peacebringer.
And, my fellow motherfuckers, let me just share with you a few lines from Lady Imelda's book, Slutting4Money, Speaking for Myself, and I ain't makin' up a Goddamned bastard, name-dropping egostitical worda this shit:

(the children) had been given skateboards in Washington and they were trying out their skills in the Downing Street garden when  I had an irate call from Alastair  (PornoAl Campbell, the dipsomaniacal, manic depressive bullyboy of MediaMinster)
"Get those kids out of the garden."
"Whatever for, they're just having  a bit of fun?"
"Well, take a look out of the window and get them out before the press get wind of it." 
So I did, and there, to my astonishment,  were Gerry and Martin,  showing the boys a few tricks.
A few weeks later I happened to be taking Ralph Lauren around and as we came into the White room, there were Martin and Gerry.  Naturally I introduced them  and was intrigued when Gerry started talking very knowledgeably about clothes...."

But, my fellow motherfuckers, Lady Imelda what they call in LimeyLand, a has-been,   and I have also been talking to the new Limey President, Mrs Askey, 
and she agrees with me, that the best way to uinite a country is to divide it, rich against poor, young against old and most importantly white folks  against niggers. 
It's worked well during my administration, y'gotta just shoot them sonsafuckinbitches down on the street. And then keep on shooting them, until you're sure they's dead. Otherwise they gonna fuck everything up for the rest of us.

It's like I was only saying to that Ayrab, the one in Turkey,  who's busy roundin'-up his critics and kicking the shit outa them, wirin' up their nuts to the national grid, what's his name, Cardigan, is it, Erdogan, whatever; some useful bastrad wog, anyway, but he's doing the right thing, for democracy and freedom and human rights. 
What y'll have to do with legitimate democratic protest is crush it like a bug. 
Yeah, like we done with the Occupy movement, 

yeah and like, day after day, we expect our brave lawnforcement men and women to do.  

Ferguson police officer. 

Thassright, motherfuckers, shootin' dead unarmed black folks.  An' thasswhy we all bin militarisin' lawnforcement, 

with armoured  cars and tanks left over from Iraq and Afghanistan. 


To protect and serve President Trousers from democracy, or legal action of any kind.

See, these folks, 
stirrin' up trouble,
sayin' that black lives matter.

They're just plain wrong.
They don't. 

You just ask President-elect Trousers;  she bin' roastin' niggers for decades. At home and abroad,
I can do whatever the fuck I want.
The FBI said so. 

You just ask Lord Blair, the Peacebringer, 

If I had to kill all those niggers again, I would. 
And. lessbeclear,  the house of commons'd back me again, too.

I mean, God, Hisself, 
he  tells Tony Blair to kill niggers, 
can't get much more justified than that.

Or just you ask the Limey president, Mrs Askey, 

Kill millions of innocent people? 
Niggers and wogs?
Fuck,  yeah, bring it on.
'Swhat I came into politics for. 

even now she's tellin' the Limey Congress they gotta have Uncle Sam's Weaponsa Mass Destruction, 

even though they cost fuckin' trillionsa Limey dollars, at a time when they ain't got a pot to piss in, n're gonna have to sell-off everything' to Wall Street, the schools, the hospitals, the roads, all that socialist kinda shit.  Well, I say sell, but y'all know I mean give.

So, as I hand over the the torture chambers of this great nation, as I gift her the legacy of shoot-niggers2kill4free, as I give to President Trousers the entire apparatus of the secret police state and the most successful exporter of terrorism ever, 

I just wanna express American solidarity with tyrants'n'despots, and 'specially torturers, all over the world..

The only way we can stand-up to our various subject peoples  is by shootin' then dead on the street. Anybody tellin' ya different ain't a patriot.

Me, too, Mr President, me, too;
 didya mean to forget me? 

I believe in all that stuff, too. In fact, in my country - although it's obviously really your country,  first and foremost, that's the basic principle of NewLabour -  I'm trying to deny voters the vote. They're all just terrorists, arent they, at the end of the day?  
Aren't they, Mr President?


I mean, what's the point of giving people the vote if they misuse it, by voting against you, when it's you who knows what's best for them?


SG said...

A wickedly good piece Mr I. The French public are getting mighty angry and it was interesting to see who they directed their fire at (the 'booing' of the Frog PM). However, re: the matter of the nuclear deterrent, ironically it is the only thing that stands between us and Armageddon, the pacifist's weapon if you think about it... (leaving aside Japan in '45 - but then they couldn't shoot back...). In the meantime, Ms Eagle-Burger has been working up some post split party  branding options:

Alphons said...

As long as the world has politicians the world will have no harmony.

SG said...

It seems, by the way, and with regard to the militarisation of policing (which is here too, though not quite on the same scale as over in the US &A), that there is a small remnant of England left, with proper policing:

I feel a migration coming on...

call me ishmael said...

Never sure about the bomb, mr sg. I am probably one of God's CNDers, or would be, if I joined things but I genuinely don't know what the pros and cons really are, are they ethical or strategic; I should think they are largely, vis a vis the Tories and Uncle Sam, more to do with kickbacks than anything else; they are a dreadful bunch of money-grubbing spivs. What I do know is that an argument FOR Trident on the basis of JOBS is just so eighteenth fucking century. I will have a look at Angie, although I am starting to develop an allergic reaction to her, always did have one, in a way, when she was one of Snotty's placepersons, her and her sis, nut she was easier to ignore, back then, before-before.

I did hear a strand of somethinbg, earlier, suggesting that the Nice trucker was neither terrorist nor muslim, just a sick man with too many ishoos, which, if you think about it, may well eb right; the HeadChoppers claiming credit suits everyone's book, doesn't it, in the wilderness of mirrors? Maybe the Frogs have taken a leaf from Junky George's book, and rationalised community mental health care. I must say, I unavoidably ran-over an already-dead creature in the lane, Ba-Bump, only a little grey creature and I felt some unease and distaste, over the mangling of one of Creation's miracles. I dunno where your head must be, to gleefully run-down human beings like skitles, unless, of course, you've had some military training.

call me ishmael said...

Well, m alphons, Thomas Paine knew the truth of that and suggested a prudent precaution.

SG said...

I don't join things either, Mr I (other than here - which is somewhat out of character...).However, as one of God's athiests, I have a view of human nature that I'm not sure is entirely at odds with yours but, perhaps, leads me to different conclusions. To cut a long story short, the point of the nuclear deterrent is not to prevent individual acts of terrorism or 'conventional' attacks upon remnants of the British Empire, but rather to prevent the incidence of another World War (via its linkage to the US nuclear arsenal - extended deterrence - mutually assured destruction...). Nuclear weapons are almost as ubiquitous as AK-47's yet remain unused since '45 - why is that? There is, surely a lesson in this... The savagery and chaos in Iraq and Syria is nothing compared with what would ensue in the event of another 'non-nuclear' war between the 'Great Powers' (how many died in the last World War? 60 million and more I seem to recall). No, I'll take the 'balance of terror' any day compared with the horror of a global conflagration (which is not to diminish the injustice towards and suffering  of those poor folks caught up in the, comparatively, minor skirmishes that we see taking place around the world today). I rued the day when NATO became a vehicle for expeditionary warfare rather than deterrence and defence, I truly did.

call me ishmael said...

It is not, I think, a matter, for me, of argument but regret; it cannot be disinvented and must inevitably be used in anger. There are hundreds of them kicking around in the 'stans from Soviet days, somebody WILL get hold of one and WILL use it, there is cause aplenty. Israel has them and there may be someone waiting in the wings even crazier, more corrupt than Benjy Netanyahu; these are the most determinedly Abrahamicist people in the world, after all, much moreso than the Mohammedan bunch, who are just new3comers, some of those madbastard, headbanging Hymies are as bad as Uncle Sam's Creationists; and would willingly see us all roasted, should it please Jehovah ( see: God said to Abraham, kill me your son.)

"Our" possession of the Doomsday weapon will neither deter or prevent the actions of individuals, sects or rogue, fucked-up theistic states, like Israel, Pakistan or India, ThOse people are all barking mad.

I accept your MAD thesis, it is probably near enough, regarding ourselves - the Christian West, including Mother Russia - but it won't stop those other fuckers. To do that there needs to be a sincere attempt by all the big powers to get rid of their own, and the little powers' or potential powers' nukes. And there's the rub.

SG said...

You are right about that, Mr I. Nuclear deterrence relies upon the antagonists being 'rational actors'. Us (the 'West' - even 'The Donald') and Mother Russia's Putin being examples thereof. I worry about the theocratic nutters too, the Iranians are probably OK but... Nuclear weapons are a reality, the genie out of the bottle, I think we can no more put them back than the American public be persuaded to hand in all their firearms, assualt rifles, rocket launchers etc. (as an old Lecturer of mine back in the 80s, with reference to Afghanistan, said, 'God help anyone who tries to invade Arkansas'). In the meantime, a little reassurance for the anti-Brexit, anti-democracy people - one or two of them have the courage to tune in here now and then - I always look forward to their visits....

Mike said...

Spent 3 weeks recently walking with a Frenchman. An intelligent and all round good bloke (a lawyer and a judge). And also had conversations with a few other French people.

There is seething anger amongst them - and that's before the latest stuff - directed at the political class, the EU, and particularly migration. The French equivalent to "racist" to dismiss objection is "populist". We had many a discussion of the supposed difference between populism and democracy. I would say 90% were actively pro-Brexit (this was before the vote). This will end very badly in France. The people I spoke to were talking of voting Le Pen, and/or taking to the streets.

call me ishmael said...

Mornin', mr mike. I knew some Sri Lankans, in Worcestershire, twenty years ago, who told me that Britain was the least racist place they had ever been; in Germany and France they had openly been treated very badly; God knows what it's like now.

A blind man could see a majority in France voting Front Nationale, After Sarkozy and Chrissie la Vache's crookedness abd after Frankie Hollande's political betrayal, not to mention the security failures, why would people not vote for le Pen? They'd be mad not to, wouldn't they? A luke-warm Brexit and a full-blooded Frexit would wrap it up for Brussels and Strasbourg and any time there's an event like tonight's on the HermannTrain, Merkel's foolish call to prayer - Du Bist Wellkommen in Europe, Ahmed - will grow in retrospect ever more inflammatory. We need to watch they don't all start a war, the Europhiles, whilst we are not looking, so that they can suspend elections, discussions and referenda, New Labour style, all across Europe. In the interests of democracy.

It is a wilderness of mirrors, we need to be watchful, watchful and smart, nothing is as they tell us it is, referenda are not honoured, rules are re-jigged. Yet, even so, Corbyn is still set to win re-election; people have grown smarter, this last while.

If we had a trades union movement worth tuppence, it would be harnessing French worker opinion in favour of Brexit and promoting it internationally, for all workers; instead, they pretend, piously, that people like Juncker are our friends and protectors, even though he's just another thieving bastard, like all of them.

mongoose said...

Ah, but there is no trades union movement, Mr Ishmael, because there are hardly any unions left, let alone trades ones. Via dismemberment and melting-poy and thereby to disempowerment. Starving one's opposition out is always better than a battle. Perhaps Blessed Maggie's anti-EU-ism has finally saved us after all. There would be irony in it - you and she arguing for the same from different sides of the battlefield.

I still think that it is careerism that has despoiled politics. Nobody believes anything anymore, except their paycheck.

Mike said...

We are living in interesting times. I don't recall such a period of change in my lifetime; the cards have been thrown in the air, and who knows where they will fall?

My own observations on the ground over the last 2 years is that Europe is fucked for at least one generation, and maybe a lot longer. Brexit will soon be seen as the equivalent of Moses parting the Red Sea. A miraculous escape, even if those voting for it didn't realise at the time.

I've said before, that I feel in my waters that there is a major shitstorm on the way.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr mongoose, as we said, just a little way back, "public service cannot be a career, only a duty." We have had sone involvement with senior union people and they ARE all just in it for career reasons. I did say, IF we had a trades union should not calumnise me so, Thatcher was a greedy crook, first and foremost, her, her spiv friends and her menfolk.

call me ishmael said...

I thibk that many have already experienced the shitstorm, mr mike, the burning of the wheelchairs and the freezing of the wages. It's the Jokerman's fire and brinmstone we need worry about - nightsticks, watercannon. teargas, headlights, Molatov cocktails and rocks behind every curtain.

Obama's armoured cars, BoJo's watercannon.In the States people are publicly and seriously calling Obama a foul racist, for the reasons for which he is here regularly lampooned. Y'see, you can make it up.

Alphons said...

"call me ishmael said...

Well, m alphons, Thomas Paine knew the truth of that and suggested a prudent precaution.

18 July 2016 at 21:5"

Thomas Paine's was a man worth his weight in gold. His philosophy was sound and few would listen.

call me ishmael said...

For the lazy, like me, m alphons, google images is littered with Thoomas Paine stuff, "and everyone a them words rang true, and glowed like burning coals...."

If he lived, today, though, he'd be evisceratded by vermin like Andrew Neil, the PBC's Mr ShowBusiness; what hold must he have, what secrets must he know that the Corporation of filth affords him such ubiquitous, daily, round-the-clock license, an alert and aware public would pack him off back to his French resdience and strip him of his passport, in respect of his lifetime's disservice to the nation.