Friday, 12 March 2010



Our unnamed client, Mr Wally Leprachaun, 4'6",


is the head of a an unnamed company, British Airways, which is, in industry parlance, in a nosedive, falling from the sky with all aboard shitting themselves, screaming and biting each other. I have brought this iconic airline to this position where, after the fiasco of the Terminal Five non-opening with all the luggage getting lost and the passengers sleeping on the floor and having engendered the worst industrial relationships in airline history I now need a judge to vindicate my desire to say and do whatever I think makes me look big, which I am, if not in stature, then in my owm mind.

The successful judge will be able to pontificate about his duty to the public whilst lining his own pockets and easing the progress of his worshipful brethren in the police and legal, um, professions; anyone, therefore, with UK judging experience will do. The remuneration package includes lots of money and free first class flights to Bangok and the destruction of any records held about His Honour by Operation Ore, not that there are any, of course. Applications in person to Mr Willy Leprachaun, cubicle 4, the gents, Heathrow Airport. So mote it be and may my breast be cut open and my heart removed should I betray a fellow leprachaun.


Anonymous said...

Er not too sure about Krung Thep, city of angels, you know it as Bangkok. On the other hand if you want to see tha last of him fine there will be a million people from all over Thailand protesting this Sunday and from what they are saying the rest of the week. Best part of 100,000 army and police have been called in many arsenals at military barracks have been"robbed" of guns, grenades, explosives and fuck knows what, So it looks like interesting times in the coming weeks for the "elite" who run the place as it is run by some very wealthy and powerful people who are in no hurry to give up their power .If you want to see a police state in operation come here and have a glimpse hand out for money, gun in the other they operate with impunity they kill people including us "aliens" thats what the fuckers call us. The press yeah well I have seen more investigative journalism in an in flight magazine. A word to anyone who is thinking of coming here,don't.Or if you do might be an idea to but a one way ticket as you might not get to use the return bit

call me ishmael said...

It ws not a comment about Bangok per se, mr a, although you should really come homes, but rather a reminder that Operation Ore, the FBI investigation into child porn purchasers in the UK and amounting, it is said, to 7000 suspects is supposed to contain the names of some of their Honours. It is further speculated that, rather like Mr Corpse Murdoch of skymadeupnewsandfilth and our shit-eating politiicians, the G-men would rather hold the info for blackmail purposes than reveal it. Ther ecertainly have not been 7000 prosecutions relating to Operation Ore. Maybe the scale of degeneracy was just too great for it to be in the public interest to proceed. I mean, what would people think if it turned out that all of our betters are actually our worsers.

One for mrs WOAR, this Operation Ore mystery.

Mr Pete Nose, of the famous rock band, The Oo, has insisted that his caution for purchasing child pornography related only to ree-surch he was doing for a Rock Opera to be called Bugger Me, It's Uncle Pete Again. I was only doing r-r-r-r-r-r-re-surch, he insisted, because I'm creative. And not a nonce, that's why I took the caution.

PT Barnum said...

Given the 'No smoke without fire' style of treatment that would have been handed out to Mr Nose by our Obese Blue Line, and the fact that a Mothercare catalogue has previously been put into Category 1 of obscene images, I would say taking the caution was wholly rational. We have reached a pitch of such salacious hysteria about paediatricians and podiatrists that the target is missed by a mile. While the witchhunt for lurking saddos in raincoats goes on apace, the real threats live in nice houses in leafy suburbs or are patted on the head and let loose from jail to rape again.

Mothers Ruin said...

The real threats live in very nice houses in leafy suburbs and would like to see the internet licensed for you and i whilst maintaining their right to "confidentiality", In the interests of their constituents privacy of course.

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woman on a raft said...

Summary as requested.

After years of not making much headway against KP suppliers it was decided to try a demand-side measure. Possession of prohibited images would itself be an offence, hence damping down the incentive for the suppliers to make the images which necessarily involved violating a minor. There are several problems with this approach but the one which is hardest to explain is that the law is trying to act 'remotely'. It's not commenting on whether it is inherently wrong to view such a picture; it is trying to cut abuse by reducing the suppliers' incentive to make the pictures.

Landslide was the portal which was raided and its credit card records used to argue that people who visited the website were now in possession of prohibited images. This was faulty logic from the start. Courts were told that merely accessing the Landslide front page was evidence of intention to buy KP and in those days judges let that through. Not only is it not evidence, but Landslide provided legal adult material as well. It was a flat lie that KP was mentioned on the front page; it was down on a sub memu. (The BBC accidentally showed the real version, but then withdrew the article when it realized that it damaged the prosecution arguments).

A person could therefore be on the Ore list through having bought legal adult material or having their card stolen, which is by no means rare.

The small team charged with analysing the seized computers was up to its ears in work and could not possibly assess all those hard discs. The ex-police acting as agents for the analysis service were doing very nicely out of it. Jim Bates acted as an independent expert for the prosecution but says he was attacked when he pointed out inconsistencies in the prosecution case.

It all came tumbling down when, in the wake of other scandals (continuing) about expert witnesses, it turned out Bates hadn't actually done the degree he claimed. Bates was competent but he over-stated his qualifications for effect. This led to a number of appeals. Bates was discredited and complains now that he is being harassed by the police, who are bitter about how it all worked out. While I'm sympathetic to his complaint, for an expert he seems to have taken his time to challenge the obvious problems.

The stink nearly smashed the Soham trial. During the investigation it emerged that two police officers were on the Ore list. One of them admitted possession. The other, Stevens, had his trial collapse when his girlfriend said he had been with her at the time the downloads were done and anyway, Brian Underhill admitted there were errors in the forensice prosecution case. Trouble was, the girlfriend was a CPS investigator on the case and she got jiggy with Stevens when he was the family liaison officer. The CPS and the police were furious as it contaminated the fragile evidence trail in the Huntley prosecution. Rumours went swirling round that Huntley was being protected by a gang of nonces in the police, possibly for favours in the past, and that was why the investigation was faulty and the prosecution was wobbly. It was simpler than that; Cambs police were a bit shit at their job, Huntley was better than normal at disposing of evidence.


woman on a raft said...

The bottom line is this: a number of people convicted under Ore are innocent, but nobody knows which ones because the technical errors are likely to create grounds for appeal by people whose hands are not clean. The next appeal, a class action, has been listed for 27 & 28 April .

There are conspiracy rumours piled up on this one even among the conspiracists. F'rinstance, that a number of VIP names were kept out of court not as protection but because it was then possible to twist their arms for donations or public support.

It turns out that securing convictions is not quite as simple as was first thought and even high profile ones like Chris Langham leave lingering doubts about the conviction, which is now providing cover for bastards like Roger Took.

Moreover, there are inconsistencies. When is research just that, and who has the right to say it? Uncle Pete was arrested but the writer Bel Mooney also claims to have done similar research and her door hasn't been broken down.

Dick the Prick said...

Thanks WoaR - most interesting. Having absolutely no real interest other than academic in these mistrials of justice (by that I mean i'm obviously repulsed but, yer know, there's other shit to be getting on with) it does seem wholly preposterous that by simply alleging someone is a nonce, sex pest, rapist etc then the perpertrator gets their name splashed all over the local rag yet the case is nowhere near trial.

I used to be a responsible guardian for foster kids and for a year we had 2 early teenish girls and within about a minute of meeting them it was understood that I should never be left alone with them in a room for fear of specious allegation and fuck all defence mechanism. Frightening as fuck I guess in retrospect. Then we got a teeny lad and all that went out of the window (coz he was a gud un) and allegations made about 'accidently m'lud' throwing him into bushes, tripping him over and the occassional fart in the face would err...prove potentially difficult to deny!

call me ishmael said...

Indebted again Mrs WOAR, thanks very much.I have a foot in both camps here, part of me thinks that any perusal of this stuff is objectionable and another part insists that we are ill-served by such stuff being kept for the eyes of so-called experts only; firstly on the grounds that the more who see this stuff the greater will be the outrage and thus the vigilance and secondly on the grounds that sustained professional exposure to KP must - apres Al Pacino in Cruising - degrade the observer.

I have never actually seen any KP but have known a good smattering of serial nonces -aren't they all, serial - and know that they are able to keep secrets from themselves, quite how Ray Wyre and his ilk hope to penetrate that world is beyond me and I am suspicious of his and their claims; I know, too, that at least some of the workers in the sex offender field are motivated by personal reasons which needs must undermine their objectivity and worth.

I had thought, nevertheless, that Operation Ore was kosher and had snagged the arrogant, professional, managerialist nonce, too up his own arse to consider that someone might be watching him, I must say I sm disappointed to learn the truth even though I am sure that a judge with the characteristics I describe is not entirely a figment of my imagination, no more so than is the repellent, redundant machismo of Wee Willie Winkie.

call me ishmael said...

If, Mr PTB, Mr Nose's nose was clean in this matter then he owed it to himself and to his muse to refuse to be cautioned and contest the matter before a jury, where, wealthy and popular, he stood a better chance than most of proving his point; just because the Old Bill and tabloid opinion are what they are they do not justify Townsend's cowardice; and if it was not cowardice then it could only have been a thing worse.

I detest the I pled Guilty but I'm Innocent, Really approach to jurisprudence and will ever hold Townsend in contempt.

Anonymous said...

Old Petes research into goat sex he took the caution because he did it. Not like Madely and Finnegan borrowing bottles of wine from Tescos and that dead fat fucker from Coronation st for his performance in a swimming pool years ago watched by police with a little girl, they got off with it. As for Townsend one can only wonder where he got the idea from for Uncle Ernie from?

woman on a raft said...

Operation Ore was kosher

In parts it was - the boffins have gone on to develop various scanning applications but don't care to be closely associated with the original investigation - but the trouble was that Underhill was building his retirement consultancy on it and he was insufficiently challenged by the CPS and the bench.

I am a critic of the CPS (who should have been supervising him)- they have been politicised to the extent that they hire people who tick the compliance boxes with the result that they end up with compliant idiots who can neither reject faulty cases nor properly nail the guilty. They don't accept - or carry - responsibility for their decisions. When challenged they are apt to hide behind expert witnesses and judges, claiming that it's not their fault if they bring crock cases which the judges let through.

I maintain, though, that the separation of police and CPS was the right thing to do, and had it been done properly we wouldn't be having Underhill's cases challenged now.

For good background see Spyblog and in particular the comment by ex-barrister Alistair Kelman on Bates.