LORDS A-LEAPING

No less a luminary than skymadeupnewsandfilth's Michael Spit,

the part-time MP and member of the I-Know-Best Austerity party, the cheeky fucking bastard, has announced that We Are All On The Same Page as Michael Adonis, Mick the Greek.

Mick the Greek.

Adonis is one of those Tories appointed by Labour to the Lords that they might, without election, become Ministers in the Government of the New World Order and Do The Right Thing For The Country - Al Sugar, Greasy Digby Jones and Admiral Liberace West, that gang of greedy, flouncing tossers. Adonis has been a LibDem councillor and a hack on the FT and the Observer and is a fellow, whatever one of those is, of an Oxbridge college - many of them are such fellows, William Waldegrave was one, Mad John Redwood another and I wouldn't be surprised if wotsisname, TwoDicks Willets was one, too; doubtless it is brains such as these fellows have which kept the nation in and out of recession and unemployment this past century - he was born in 1963 and within three years his English mother abandoned for good both his Greek father and him and like many great men he is married to one of his former students. Motherless children have a hard road.

To those, we lonely, insomniac obsesives, who watch the shit erupt and cascade into our faces from Westminster and CyberFleet Street, Adonis has been a minor irritant, a bit of a freak; he annoyed the NewLabour Old Guard by being parachuted into ministry without "fighting" a safe-seat election; he's not Frank Dobson or John Prescott. But then neither are they.

Adonis, like so many of them, could belong to any party, just so long as he gets to boss people around and stick his nose in the trough. He was, if memory serves, one of Blair's alternative, maquis de sofa cabinet, an education minister undermining the real one, fighting the war of education, education, education which has left so many casualties illiterate, innumerate, pig-ignorant, their bedrooms plastered with worthless degrees, whilst they, unable to frame a sentence, fling hamburgers at McDonalds, and serve them right, the obnoxious little texting, facebooking, myspacing, consumerist bastards. Adonis, like so many of his ilk, is a Dumberdown, one of Ruin's henchmen, like Gove, pulling up the ladder behind him. But today, Adonis, unaccountably transport secretary, has, in backing the truculent leprechaun, Wee Willie Walsh,

WEE WILLIE O'LOONY OF BRITISH EXPENSIVE AIRWAYS

served a purpose, which, for once in his miserable, pouting life, is not his own, he has reminded us of our position - submissive, obedient, supplicant.

How dare these unruly citizens strike, he wonders, how dare they oppose their betters? Haven't some of the bankers set a good example to them by limiting their bonuses to a mere million or so a year? Aren't we all in this together, he muses, those on over a hundred grand a year suffering just as much as those on fuck all ? These people are deplorable, he says of Unite, the former TGWU, to which the Labour Party, his employer, is so bound, so beholden, so indebted. It is deplorable, says his fucking Labour Lordship, without irony, that people might even threaten to withdraw their labour in order to protect their terms and conditions, terms and conditions considerably less generous than those enjoyed by this upstart minister and his chums, thieving their way through lifetime careers untroubled by scrutiny or overwork down in the Palace of Thieves. Deplorable he says, speaking as a member of a government which ennobled "Sir" Fred Goodwin of RBS, now in Scot-free, billionaire retirement, having bankrupted the nation almost single-handedly; deplorable he says, speaking for a government which sent Tommy bare-arsed into the sights of the fuzzy-wuzzy; deplorable, he says, speaking for a government which gave British Leyland to the Germans, which let the Ulster mass murderers out of jail and into the legislature; which burnt all the money and gave away all the gold; which turned the infants into homicidal little fuckpigs; killed the weak and elderly by the hundreds in hospital death camps, which betrayed its promise of referendum, which bullies, harangues, corrals and intimidates us with baton and taser and CCTV, which would pistol-whip us down the road to ID card and internal exile; who is this cunt pipqueak to speak to the people of deplorable? Up against the wall, motherfucker.