Now, look, lessbequiteclear about this. The outgoing Culture Seckatry has done nothing wrong, Mr Tiny Speaker, and I am very sorry to see her go merely because she has. Lessfaceit, the right honourable lady has been central to the many achievements of this govament in turning the land into a Sodom and Gommorah of which we in this house can be rightly proud,
Cheers. Waving of order papers. Cross-party voices in unison: Si-i-ing ii you're glad to be gay, sing if you're happy that way....
Indeed, Mr Tiny Speaker, were it not for the right honourable lady, many silly old fairies up and down the land would not, today, be facetiously calling one another husband and wife.
Cheers. Applause. Waving of order papers. Cross party voices in unison, with some three-part harmony: Ma -reeeah, I'll ne-vah stop say-ing Ma-reeeah.
The most remarkable thing about the right honourable lady is that throughout this whole sorry saga, she has put herself first, cheating the taxpayer, frustrating the investigatots and reluctantly apologising in terms which can only be described as mealy-mouthed, weaselish and insincere. That she has kept her main job, which, lessbeclears, she can swiftly supplement with proper jobs outside this place, that she will keep her pension and that she may well find herself back in cabinet, alongside Mr Laws is a testament to the rigour with which my govament treats benefits cheats.
Hear- hear. Applause. Cheers. Entire house, apart from John Mann, breaks into song: Fo-o-or he's a jolly good fellow, for he's a jolly good fellow.......
Order-order. The house will come to order. There now follows a statement from the right honourable the leader of the opposition, Mr Ed Wotsit.
Thank you, Mr Tiny Speaker and I am sure that members all across the house will join with me in expresing our profound sorrow at the tragic loss of Ms Peachy Geldof, she was a fine and serious columnist, a deft and skilled broadcaster who brought real gravitas to the world of trivia which she inhabited and she will be sorely missed by her many brain-impaired followers, some of whom might vote for me but I doubt it. Her loss is tragic almost out of all proportion and our thoughts will be with her repeatedly unfortunately bereaved father Sir Bob Gabshite. And at this time, would the prime minister agree with me that a state funeral for Ms Peachy is the very least that a grieving nation can offer as a mark of respect.
Cheers. Waving of order papers. Hear-hear.
Order-Order. I now move that as a mark of respect to both Ms Peachy Thicko and Ms Maria Thief, the house do now adjourn so's we can all go on our holidays, attend gatyweddings, cavort with rentboys and gather in conclave to stitch-up my former Deputy Mr Tiny Speaker, Mr Nige the Fag Evans. All in favour say Aye, The Ayes have it, the Ayes have it. C'mon lessfuckoffouttahere.
4 comments:
And nobody in MediaMinster thought to ask why does this larcenous baggage need a property empire when Basingstoke is less than an hour by train from Waterloo ?
It was also a laugh watching Ian Duncan (mysteriously left the army in 1981 despite the 3 million on the dole) Smith announcing benefits thieves might lose their house and trying to justify why Millar should continue to ponce off the state.
If that cunt Laws can crawl back anyone can but Basingstoke Brain might find she can coin it more by whoring herself out as a backbencher than by fiddling her bennies.
Rewards of Obedience and Failure for them: we`ve seen it a nauseating number of times, no matter how humiliating the resignation or big a kick up the arse administered by the electorate: Mellor, Portillo, Campbell, Kinnock, Byers culminating in the Big Daddy of them all , JugEars WarCriminal: sixty million, a property empire and cheekily cuckolding one of his employers, i.e. Rupe. It`s a fucking wonder they aren't all resigning to become taxis for hire.
Basingstoke Brain has already embarked to a recovery plan; she`s very publically donated her 17 grand redundo (fuck me my piss is boiling)to a ' local charity ' and will no doubt whore herself out to any number of influence peddlars while moonlighting as an MP.
Or she`ll bung that in and become a quangocrat, Lottery, Covent Garden or replacing that bladder on a stick Patten (another one). Remember Chris Smith, another Culture Secretary ended up' running ' the Environment Agency despite not knowing any more about water other than it comes out of a tap.
97 K a year for three days a week and that wouldn`t be 3 days work that`ll be 3 days of corporate pissups. You`ll note that even when Wysteria could have scored some points by sacking the hopeless berk and putting in an engineer or hydrologist he didn`t. Can`t upset the apple cart.
A sad day, a humiliating day for Maria Millar proclaimed Media Minster. Bollocks. She`s dancing round one of the hosues we bought her singing " I`m in the Money ".
And nobody in MediaMinster thought to ask why does this larcenous baggage need a property empire when Basingstoke is less than an hour by train from Waterloo ?
It was also a laugh watching Ian Duncan (mysteriously left the army in 1981 despite the 3 million on the dole) Smith announcing benefits thieves might lose their house and trying to justify why Millar should continue to ponce off the state.
If that cunt Laws can crawl back anyone can but Basingstoke Brain might find she can coin it more by whoring herself out as a backbencher than by fiddling her bennies.
Rewards of Obedience and Failure for them: we`ve seen it a nauseating number of times, no matter how humiliating the resignation or big a kick up the arse administered by the electorate: Mellor, Portillo, Campbell, Kinnock, Byers culminating in the Big Daddy of them all , JugEars WarCriminal: sixty million, a property empire and cheekily cuckolding one of his employers, i.e. Rupe. It`s a fucking wonder they aren't all resigning to become taxis for hire.
Basingstoke Brain has already embarked to a recovery plan; she`s very publically donated her 17 grand redundo (fuck me my piss is boiling)to a ' local charity ' and will no doubt whore herself out to any number of influence peddlars while moonlighting as an MP.
Or she`ll bung that in and become a quangocrat, Lottery, Covent Garden or replacing that bladder on a stick Patten (another one). Remember Chris Smith, another Culture Secretary ended up' running ' the Environment Agency despite not knowing any more about water other than it comes out of a tap.
97 K a year for three days a week and that wouldn`t be 3 days work that`ll be 3 days of corporate pissups. You`ll note that even when Wysteria could have scored some points by sacking the hopeless berk and putting in an engineer or hydrologist he didn`t. Can`t upset the apple cart.
A sad day, a humiliating day for Maria Millar proclaimed Media Minster. Bollocks. She`s dancing round one of the hosues we bought her singing " I`m in the Money ".
Thanks mr yardarm. It IS just what I said, she'll carry on as a very part-time MP and flog her fat arse to anyone interested in fucking it. Jonathan Swift couldn't do it justice, could he, it is beyond satire. Can only hope that les Faragistes can promote a wider discontent than just that of the EuroReich, certainly for MediaMinster it was exactly as you said. I watched the ponce, Neil, just after PMQs and I do not understand why he has not been showered with peerages, palaces and pensions, I do not know how they can adequately reward him, never did Filth have a more loyal servant.
And the fucks are on holiday now and bar a couple of paragraphs in the Queen's speech that's them while the start of October. I mean, there's work life balance shit these days to think about but it usually involves, yer know, work.
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