My young friend, stanislav, coined this phrase because he thought it was true, that Scotland was the best place you could go in England, like a different country but not. I hope that Scotland stays part of England and England part of Scotland. Gordon Snot, however, Tony Blair, Jack Torture and all the other monsterbandits of NewLabour - just think of them for a moment, Geof Hoon, Steven Byers, Alan Milburn, Des Browne, Bob Ainsworth, Tessa Jowell, Blind Boy Blunkett. Jacqui Schmidt, John Thug Reid, NewLabour's own Little Big Man; Peter Mandelstein, Alastair Campbell and John Prescott, what utter filth - what they achieved in Scotland, their nursery, their homeland, was unprecedented, The monumentally rotten JockLabour party was thrown out of the local parliament by a disgusted electorate, people like myself, who voted for the wee fat pig Salmond, rather than return Jack McConnell's band of thieving incompetents; so overwhelming was this protest vote that what should never have happened did happen, the proportional representation incorporated into Scottish elections should have seen no party with an overall majority, exactly what Salmond obtained, what allowed hom to seek an immediate referendum and since then has allowed him to divert my taxes from scoolzanospitals into naked and unconstitutional propagandising, local councils are muzzled, public employees bullied into silence and senior public sector appointees do nothing but Salmond's bidding, hopeful of an even more lucrative sinecure, perhaps an ambassadorship, come the glorious day. This has all happened as a result of Jock Labour's generations-old rottenness and of the wicked agendas of NewLabour UK plc.
Tonight there is to be a televised debate between the wee fat fucker and Alastair Darling, the man Snotty couldn't sack but a man nonetheless tainted by his and Blair's record. It will be fucking awful. Salmond, repulsive, will be smirking and smarming like a stand-up comic at Butlins holiday camp; Darling will be pathetic, the only elder statesmen of a discredited government who dare show his face, some bloated Jock oaf will try to enstature himself by facetiously acting like some grand adjudicator, you know the type, good for fuck all, much less smart enough to hold either or these two jumped-up pricks to account, but he'll be a member of MacMediaMinster and thus worthy of great respect from the voters. He's a cunt. Whoever he is. You can out money on it.
This, in punditland, is the make or break for both men. Bollocks, it's nothing of the sort. The vile, immature reptile tribesmen will vote for Salmond if he were to stand on stage with dick in his hand, pssing on the lectern; people like me won't, simple.
Much is made of converting the undecideds, my view is that if they are undecided at this stage, can be swayed by a wee bit of bollocks telly, they shouldn't have the fucking vote in the first place. morons. Och, I need tae see how yon Darling goes, if he's afeart a that Alec Salmond, afore I make me mind up, d'ye ken. It is all bollocks this election, it is simply a test of whether or not enough people have the sense to stay with the lesser of two evils. I suspect and hope that just enough do. All that we need remember is that Salmond learned his grubby, bullyboy tricks in the bars and knocking shops of the Westminster he so decries; that he is as keen, as fervent in his self-justification of criminal expenses as are they all; that he is ever up for a freebie and that he cannot, will not tell the truth, lest it undo his corset of patriotism and spill his rank guts all over his trouser belt; that, as usual, he is one of them, pretending to be one of us.
I'll go and warm the telly up.
47 comments:
Well at least the rest of us down here in the 'r-UK' have the opportunity to watch this time, if we are so minded and have nothing better to do. Actually the shambles of the first one was surely a foretaste of what an 'independent' Scotland would be like - closed - closed for business - closed on Sundays - no drinking or children playing on the swings... I went hunting on the TV channel guide to determine the location and timing of this televisual feast. I had to do a double take when at first I found something that I thought read "Salmond Decides: Scotland versus Darling"... The SNP doublethink must have altered my subconscious in some way even down here in another part of England. SG
It may well have so read, mr sg, the subliminal promotion of Yes and the controls on public employees are actually quite sinister.
The Grand Adjudicator is none other than Glen Campbell. I thought he was 'deed'. Maybe he could provide us with some light relief - Southern Nights would work well I feel... SG
Ah, he's not so bad, Campbell, been sidelined for a while. Scottish Newsnight scrapped, in favour of some dreadful magazine show, fronted incompetently by a gushing Sarah Smith, ex C4 News and daughter of Labour's John Smith and coincidentally driving Scottish BBC's best interrogator, Gordon Brewer from the screen and the debate.
I watched it. Honestly. I did. The first nine minutes anyway. Kill them all!
"Three Plan B's tonight...". Salmond - a cheap salesman - nothing more and why does he keep coming out from behind his lectern? SG
It's what they do, Nick Clegg started it, I believe, now they all do it.
Alas, Mr I, I switched it off at the point when it descended into bickering. If the future of this country depends on the outcome of this debate then God help us. Part of the problem is that Darling is trying to conduct the debate on the SNP's turf - from within the Scottish bubble. He needs, as you might say, to look at things through the other end of the telescope... SG
Yes, me, too, I did a mongoose.
"This video is not authorised for your location (AU)".
That saved me making a mistake.
Thought I'd catch the last 10 minutes but got the timing wrong and found myself watching Dave Allen. Well at least they had the decency to supply an antidote!... SG
I think it's up to old Brenda to decide if a yes vote will lead to a break up of her Kingdom, non? tnp
I saw the last fifteen minutes or so. Why can't the moderator ever turn off the mike of the one not supposed to be speaking? They might as well have been throwing potatoes at each other for all the sense they made.
In his opening remarks Salmond said something interesting, amidst the usual anti-English rhetoric, in that he talked in terms of Scotland completing its journey towards 'home rule'. Now 'home rule' is an interesting choice of words in the context of UK history - why not say 'independence'? His opening speech was the thing he would surely have poured over most. I think he knows damn well that he won't win and this is all part of the stage management of defeat which will be re-positioned as a victory - what he intended all along. After all the rest of the Westminster parties have been queuing up to hand over more powers before so much as a single 'child soldier' vote has been cast. They'd shit themselves up there in Bute House if they actually won so they would. Watch them paddling back down the proverbial creek as fast as they can go - selling the 'Brave-Hearters' as they go... SG
It was absolutely intolerable and mrs narcolept's suggestion might have made it less so but to little electoral purpose As I said, the tribesmen would have cheered whatever Salmond said and mocked Darling. In that sense it was a useful lesson for those unaware of quite how unpleasant is Scottish nationalism, probably any sort of nationalism; they can't all be the best in the world, unique in this way or that, can they, all those wee made-up tribes?
My guess is that those, like me, who voted SNP to scupper JockLabour, will, in the referendum take back their votes for a No vote in the referendum is not a vote for any UN political party, no matter how often the gabshite, Salmond, says it is..
I think, have always thought, mr tnp, that the whole fucking thing was illegitimate and bugger Brenda, the whole Union should have had a vote in this matter. And anyway, I have heard it said by the learned ones, that the next Westminster government can repudiate the Edinburgh Agreement and anything which stems from it; can just say nonto Salmond.
Jeez, I'm as plastic-Oirish as you can get without shamrock growing out of yer lugs but the Scots have it in a way which would get them mocked the length of Grafton Street if they tried it in God's other best part of England. Why do they do all that stuff? A very strange place is Scotland but then I only ever get to go to Edinburgh and I think maybe that that is in England really. Ho hum. Onward to McFreedom. Although I very, very much doubt that it will happen, it'd be entertainment for the rest of us.
A black entertainment, mr mongoose, Balkanisation. It is a dreary and juvenile rhetoric, that of the tribesmen, jeering and vindictive, coarse and angry and if they win it will be by a slender majority and there will be blood, which will be, of course, blamed on the English; Cameron shoud never have permitted this dreadful hate-fest and the filthy, murdering, torturing Blairites, Darling included, should never have gifted Salmond such an open goal.
The old Tories would've knifed Cameron fof even talking about a referendum.
Mr I
As well we all know, if GlobalCorp and the Banks don't want it, it won't happen. Or as the great humanitarian Uncle Joe Stalin said "It's not the people who vote that count, it's the people who count the votes."
UK PLC. have far to much invested in the best part of England and Brenda will not care one way or 'tother who does the gardening for her, she still owns Scotland.
Well, mr inmate, that's refreshingly optimistic, I do hope it's right.
I doubt that either of them won in any conventional sense but I do beieve that Salmond, playing to the cheers of the riffraff in the audience - they shouldn't allow people like that into the Kelvingrove - so smug and blase was he, so pleased with himself , so personally repulsive, that if he ever had any chance of converting a majority he's fucked it now and we should expect him to cry Foul when he loses. He will have shone in his fanbase but they were born with broken bottles in their hands, anyway. I have looked at a couple of thousand comments on the so-called debate and most felt that while he may have won on points he actually showed himself for what he is, graceless, overbearing and stupid, his electoral success last time due only to voter disaffection with Labour; this is an entirely different and much more profound matter than any election, voting for separation and ruin far more serious than voting SNP for Holyrood.
At a small soiree in Edinburgh this year, Her Majesty the Queen greeted her guests warmly. Alex Salmond, impishly asked the queen whether (should the Scots vote for independence) he should refer to Scotland as a Kingdom, he could then be a king. "No, Ai don't thenk so, Mr. Salmond" said the queen. "Well, we could call it the Scottish Empire and I could be the Emperor", said Salmond. The queen said, "Hmm", and peered over her specs at him contemplatively. "We..e..ll, we could call Scotland a Principality and I would be a Prince", twinkled Wee Eck as he smiled at HM. "No, Mr. Salmond", said Her Majesty firmly, "we will continue to refer to Scotland as a country, thank you".
Lovely.
It is a problem, this, for the liberal anti nationalist, for insisting on separation is nationalist and insisting on union is nationalist, so it is a negative sum game for him. Perhaps that is why the media talk is so subdued. Human beings are tribal creatures, only the criteria for membership vary, and the openness in disclosing them. Great Britain is no longer a satisfying entity, being neither great nor identifiably British, so the tribal instinct needs to find its outlet elsewhere.
Darling didn`t ask Salmond, he couldn`t, so what is Scotland going to be independent of then ? It`ll have the same Head of State and if Scotland keeps the pound then his economic policy will be dictated by Gideon Pansy Face`s bum boy in the Bank of England. That sounds independent, doesn`t it ?
All MacMugabe wants to do is cram his guts into a jewel encrusted skirt of state, heave his bulk onto a Jock Force One and embark on global jollies.
As you say, Mr Ishmael, Salmond is a rotund capsule of Westminster degeneracy but Darling knows the score only he dare not say so, for Scotland, like pretty much elsewhere in the world, like the rest of the UK can never be independent. Not from the IMF...the World Bank...GATT....World Trade Organization...G7....the markets...Goldman Sachs.
Darling was Bum Boy for the Banksters 2007-10 (AKA Chancellor of the Exchequer) When the Great Tits Up occurred in `08 he protected the banksters from their misdeeds and pumped billions of magic money into the fairy tale markets to bail them out.
Salmond is a clown but he will be as much a knee pads Quisling to the banksters/markets as Darling was. The last thing this debate is about is independence.
Pleased you found it refreshing Mr I, it wasn't meant to be.
Until we rid these islands of Brenda, her parasitic spawn and all the hangersons associated with this disgusting hereditary monarchy there can never be an end to the ruin you so eloquently remind us of.
BTW, just on the PBC news, Hugh Welshman just informed us that 133 'major' Corporations are to spell out their opposition to the Tribesmens independence.
However, if Salmond 'wins' it will be a bonanza for lawyers, management consultancies et al - forget the oil. All the costs and complexities of separating (just like any divorce). They must be up there, on their hind legs, sniffing the air just now... SG
I can acept tribalism in the form of football, mr tdg, can even see that it might serve some cohesive purpose, might act as a lightning conductor for ever-present social tensions but this is worse than that, this is fathomless grievance articulated through hatred; they're like fucking Nazis, this lot, honest.
The opportunities afforded by the estbalishment of a new state are almost incalculable, vast riches for the chosen and a jobs bonanza for some, mr sg; one can see the temptation, especially for those very many English incomers who already occupy very senior positions and who could fill their boots until things go wrong and then slip back to England. The whole thing stinks but my main objection is that only a minority, what is it, a twelfth of the population is entitled to vote on the disruption of the nation, that Cameron, he really is good for fuck all.
I am sure that's right, mr yardarm, that we will see the fat man acting as president, spending a lot of time abroad and leaving the day-to-day politics to Nicola Moustache. And I agree about the independence quotient in all of this, it is gesture politics, irrelevant - monarch, defence, currency, no borders, that's not independence, it's all nonsense.
The good news is that Salmond, bouyed up by his gabshitery the other night struts more vainly and arrogantl and conceited than ever before, his interview with Faisal Islam of skymadeupnewsandfilth. last nigh, was just pure Mugabe.
Well you know what I think of the house of Saxe-Coburg and its filthy spawn, mr inmate; I just meant your comment was refreshing in that it was realistic about who really runs things and why.
I have a feeling that the right thing to do is to rebuild Hadrians Wall and leave only one gate in it. Then create a new Country to the north of it for the purpose of providing a safe haven for people from the south of it fleeing from the ever burgeoning massed mosques.
Is it the institution or the current dynastic incumbants that troubles you the most Mr I? Personally I feel it to be the lesser of the evils. The thought, even of a ceremonial presidency, makes me shudder. What would we get? President Blair? President 'Beardy' Branson. No thanks! However some major reform is needed - a scaling back (especially of the 'hangers on' - the vast system of patronage - a mass culling of the Lord Lieutenants et al) and opening up (the Royal Estates to run on National Trust lines - with extended opening hours to your earlier observations about this other august institution!). Keep the ceremonials to keep the tourist renminbis etc. coming in but overall something more along Scandinavian lines. Denmark, Sweden and Norway have until now, managed to develop more equal, egalitarian and prosperous societies than any comparable republic albeit that their social cohesion is coming under great pressure thanks to the sort of immigration that Mr Alphons refers to above. I do worry about 'Brian' though... SG
MacFreedom is an apt title for the hand cart to hell that wee Eck is at the reins of. He should have used that as his manifesto title. Most of his followers would have been none the wiser to the irony.
Some principalities wanted to remove themselves from their “parent” countries for reason of economics. Catalonia and Monaco spring to mind. Catalonia as it is the industrial and financial donkey for the rest of Spain. Most of the rest of Spain still ride donkeys. Who are Scotland going to ride when England is no longer around?
There is no economic, financial, geographic or any other motivation for leaving the union. Wee Eck is using the Braveheart identity. Blood and guts is the reason to leave the Union.
The fact that Braveheart was directed and starred by an Australian. (the name Gibson would indicate Scots ancestry is unlikely), produced yanks, sometimes filmed in Ireland, was never lost on me when I watched it.
Sums up Scottish politics and heritage quite succinctly…dodgy storyline.
Vile as they are, mr anonymous, Juge-Ears Jesus and Beardy, how coild they be any worse than this gang of freaks and pimps and monsters? They couldn't be more greedy, more cruel, more neglectful, more indifferent to the fate of the common, the ordinary person; how could they nod-through - assent, they call it, pompous fuckpigs - worse behaviours than the current attacks on the poor, the sick and the old; Blair, like Brenda, is friend to all sorts of tinpot, savage dictators but she has been thus all her fucking miserable poncing, parasite life, Blair is an amateur by comparison. Andy is friend to a jet-setting child molester an idle fucking layabout, playing golf all over the world at my expense pretending he's on a trade mission, the rotten cunt and his big brother is a monster just look at his utterly disgraceful treatment of that poor doxy, Diana, unspeakable, his cruelty, his selfishness, if brother Earl Spence had had anything about him he'd have punched Brian up and down the Mall; C-in-C of a dozen regiments thw worthless, spoiled arsehole was indulged in bangin the arse of the wife of a brother opfficer, esprit de corps, eh?
I could go on, they're all fucking rotten, worthless, inbred trash and if they cannot work they should receive no more in the way of benefits than anyone else.
Brenda's life of service? Fuck me Jesus, a life in absolute, unimaginable luxury, fawned upon, worshipped, the grisly old crow,as though, as PoxHenry the Eighth maintained of himself, she was annointed by God, Himself, the fucking witch. Hanging's too good for her.
I don't think we need a head of state, what we need is a better system of public administration, perhaps some let's call them senators, drawn from te electoral roll, appointed for a fixed term and not this wretched gang of careerist politicians. As for tourism, well, millions visit the FRench palaces and look what happened to their former occupants.
The only thing that makes me wonder whether Scotland might be better off on its own is that Ireland seems to be, unless that is an illusion.
Ah so you have just a few reservations about the House Of "Windsor" then Mr I... Well if one had to go with a republican system the Swiss model has some merit to it with its Federal Council acting as a collective Head of State. A drab system perhaps but one less attractive to the ego-maniacs that populate and pollute ours. SG
"mr ishmael...
I don't think we need a head of state, what we need is a better system of public administration, perhaps some let's call them senators, drawn from te electoral roll, appointed for a fixed term and not this wretched gang of careerist politicians."
http://www.angelfire.com/realm3/accord/
(It's a long boring tale...but true.)
mrs narcolept
'The only thing that makes me wonder whether Scotland might be better off on its own is that Ireland seems to be, unless that is an illusion.'
It is an illusion. Apart from a brief decade of debt-fuelled 'prosperity' Ireland has been a shithole since 1922. And is back to being a shithole today. The main problem is that, like Fucking Scotland, the state is the major employer and it's still who you know rather than what you know which is, like Fucking Scotland, why anybody with any ambition leaves.
The result is that Ireland, like Fucking Scotland, gets thicker and thicker as the brightest genes flee the place and so they end up having to create even more public sector 'jobs' to try and keep the economy going. Ireland (unlike Fucking Scotland) is great to visit. Perhaps because, as a result of independence they have at least exorcised their loathing of the English.
But (like Fucking Scotland) you wouldn't want to live there.
The last time I looked, mrs n, ireland was an economic wasteland, public services slashed, forced to vote as she is told by Europe in any referendum and the country littered with ghost housing estates, built by speccy builders and financiers and now worthless to the handful of people who bought houses there. It may have improved, of course but its politicians, too, are all crooks and worse, it has a ghastly legacy, perhaps ongoing, of papal child abuse. I am sure that the livvies in Dublin will crow as much as the luvvies in Edinburgh about culture and history and art but you can't eat that stuff.
I have read and watched a good deal about Salmondonia and it looks to me like he's full of it, full of cheesy soundbites and heedless of the costs, disadvantages and inconveniences to be suffered by those less well-off, that he, nearly everybody. Culloden and the Clearances were a long time ago and have absolutely no relevance to life today; that so many of the Tribesmen dwell, still, on atrocities as often perpetrated by their own as by the English, is a measure of their unsuitability, incompetence and stupidity. Northumbrians or Cornish folk could make a claim for independence, too, and it would be just as ridiculous.
Many on Orkney claim an allegiance to Norway, whose royal family ran it for centuries; should Orkney and Shetland secede from an independent Scotland, taking its share of oil and pipelines and refineries?
Salmond's crass but effective plea is that a vote aaagainst independence is a vote for Cameron, the impertinet greaseball, sadly, many are hapopy to adopt that as a rallying cry, if you don't want independence, you're a Tory bastard, and you're nae one a them, are ye?
It is a crass and stupid argument, it has no merit and it doesn't deserve to prevail; no more than does Cameron.
The mosque proliferation is another matter, I feel, mr alphons. It makes me uneasy, too; it did the very first time I saw that huge one going up in Birmingham but it's another story and one, incidentally, in which Salmond is more multi-culturalist than vile Jack Straw and blubberman Roy Hattersley and the rest.
Salmond is multi-culti as long as it isn't English culture. He must have got a fucking fearsome beating from an English boy when he was a kid. Although Islam and Little Scotlanders are natural bedfellows - both able to nurture a grievance and twist any situation so that you are at fault and not their own fuckwittedness.
Aprt from the booze, Islam could easily be the national religion of Fucking Scotland. Misogyny, extreme violence, an inflated sense of their own 'superiority', everything that goes wrong being the fault of the Jews or the English. If the Muslims just gave ground on the booze I think Fucking Scotland would go Islamic overnight.
Sort of implicit, that, mr jgm2, in the DNA of multiculturalism, any culture but the native one.
It is a sadness, mrs narcolept, that Ireland is as described. Look back through the history of the political parties in Ireland since the ludicrous civil war and you will find decade after decade of score-settling and grudge-bearing. It is enough, as my grandma used to say, to make a saint swear.
I have, as you might imagine, a legion of cousins across the water. And I have an even bigger legion of nieces and nephews - not across the water but almost everywhere else. These young-ish people are better educated than the average inhabitant of these islands. Ireland still does that well. So many of these kids have, yes, been able to flee but to something rather than just from as was largely the rule in times gone by.
Ireland is very pretty but bankrupt, corrupt, and at times is grotesquely backward looking. It is a buggins-turn theme park. Soon there'll be nothing there but the rain falling on a horde of redundant priests. Don't go there. If you must go, don't stay.
Braveheart is irrelevant, mr doug shoulders, but not to many, I fear, such as those who have the Arbroath Declaration tattoed on their scrawny chests.
Poetry, mr mongoose, like your ancestors'.
The other day I saw something on the 'news' about a 'salmon cannon' which fires said fish up over dams and other obstacles to aid its migration up river. It looked like a good crack as you get to physically load the fish in ready for firing. Maybe this could be modified to produce a 'Salmond Cannon'. Clearly this would need to be a much larger calibre weapon and it would take quite a few folks to load him in given his girth and general slippery nature. He could then be fired out over the North Atlantic in the direction of, say, Rockall to survey his new territorial waters. SG
Don't they do one for Sturgeons, too? She's fucking worse than him.
Ah yes Sturgeon, I'd forgotten about her. How could I? Fortunately, and unlike Mr Salmond, I have a Plan B. Fix her atop one of those Trident missiles and fire her from Holy Loch in the direction of, say, 'The Caliphate'. She'd go down a storm there, I'm sure she would. I can't think of a better return on that x billion £ investment. SG
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