Friday, 1 August 2014


And as if the Jews weren't bad enough, wailing us all to World War Three, the fucking Muslims are kicking off, offended, yet again, by Western insensitivity to their charming Abrahamic religion.  Malaysians are choking on their Halalgoatburgers because the Commonwealth Games' opening ceremony featured a forty-strong pack of Scots terriers.  Some, it seems, in Malaysia, land of the falling aircraft, so disapprove of dogs that they want, and I am not kidding, to declare a Jihad on blokes like my little warm brown friend,  Harris, a fucking Jihad, on dogs.  Living in jungleland, as they do, I can understand Malaysians wanting a jihad on, say, scorpions or cobras but not on little dogblokes. I don't know how long we can go  on importing tinned pineapple rings and pieces and juice  from people like that, fucking lunatics.

Dogs are unclean, shout Malaysian muslim politicos.  I daresay they are a bit but Harris, for instance, gets regular baths and brushings, as do, I am sure, the vast majority of canine companion animals of which, mr cheekybastard muslim should be aware, forty per cent of households  have at least one.  That's a lot of tins of pineapple to be boycotted.

If he wants to see unclean  Mohamud should take a walk down the Stratford Road in Birmingham and glance at the filthy  produce displayed on the pavement close to passing exhaust pipes and dirty footwear, or perhaps take a peek in the ghastly but Islamo-sensitive halal butchershops;  those places are really unclean.

 From the Filth-o-Graph:
Mohamad Sabu, the deputy president of the opposition Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party said: "Malaysia and all Islamic countries deserve and apology from the organiser.
"This is just so disrespectful to Malaysia and Muslims – especially as it happened during Ramadan. Muslims are not allowed to touch dogs, so the organiser should have been more aware and sensitive on this issue.
"It is hoped this incident can teach other Western countries to be more respectful in the future."
Dato Ibrahim Bin Ali, a far-Right politician, former MP and founder and president of Malay supremacist group Perkasa also called for an apology.
"I think it is unbecoming. The hosts have not been sensitive enough – especially in a so-called knowledgeable and civilised society like Britain," he said. "It is shameful and has offended not only Malaysia as a Muslim country, but Muslims around the world."

And  in a display of the sensitivity for which this silly cunt screeches let me assure him and his brethren that if I ever hear anyone calling for a Jihad on dogs, or anything like it, I will punch their fucking teeth out.


Anonymous said...

Ah yes the religion of permanent offence. Mr Condell has much to say on this matter although I am not sure if he has got as far as the issue of dogs yet - though if not only a matter of time I suppose...

Mike said...

My father (as a young 20 year old sergeant) faught 6 years in N Africa and Palestine. What he had to say about the wogs and animals cannot be repeated even in your blog, Mr I.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, thanks for that, mr anonymous, it was interesting. I don't think I like that format, I would rather read than be - what would you call it, lectured, entertained? It was all frightfully televisual, like TeeVee's rolling cliche, you could see it all coming a hundred metres away.

Maybe he does write it all down and read it to camera but it's just not that good, not provacative or interesting, just a list of gripes without any opportunity for or prompting of dialogue. Kinda Max Bygraves, lissen, I wanna tell you a story..... Gosh, I wish I was as clever as that.

AND he's thirty years too old for that sort of thing.

call me ishmael said...

Christ, mr mike, you sure? Fuck it must be bad.

DtP said...

Yeah, crikey Mike!

A fucking jihad on dogs though - it's one of those infinite monkeys and typewriter bollox things - not enough hours in the day.

I was on the train yesterday morning - not in itself but there was one spare seat and a muzzie couple got on, dunno - about mid 50's, she fully burqu'd up so I didn't accidently rape her and the chap not only sat down immediately but then instructed his missus to stand next to the seat. Not even a hint of negotiation. You stand bitch and have fun with it! Gave me comedy kicks but really, 't'wasn't funny as he was a spritely fuck - gave the impression of years of domestic abuse.

But yeah, it's dogblokes which are the problem, obviously - cunts.

callmeishmael said...

It is some years, now, mr dtp, since I have witnessed such thingx and I do not know how I would react in that situation; I hope I would offer the lady my seat.

The Rastas used to crack-on in that male supremacist way but I think it was due to them just being worthless, idle bastards, made workshy by someone else's enslavement. Pimping, though, 'tis a righteous t'ing, mon, 'ere, inna Babylon.

Caratacus said...

Holidayed in Turkey this year and there were quite a few families where the father and son disported themselves happily in bathers while the ladies wore black head to foot and sat quietly on the sidelines. The Memsahib made a point of offering to fetch drinks for them and received grateful thanks now and then.

The lunch time buffet meals were superb as ever, and I took particular joy when one dictator-father ordered his wife to find a table while he and the children piled their plates high. The look of confusion on his face as he surveyed the dining room where at least a dozen black clad figures sat unmoving was absolutely fucking delightful. Dopey bastard.

robbo said...

Mr ishmael, forgive my grammatical errors, and please watch all wars are bankers wars, on you tube ,its 45 mins long but an eye opener, regards robbo

call me ishmael said...

I tend to visit only Scottish cities these days and as far as I can see the integration of muslim with kirker seems well advanced; it would be all the more shocking for me to see what you and mr dtp have described.

call me ishmael said...

The apostrophe jihad is unwaged, here, mr robbo.

I know that all wars are bankers wars but I will have a look, anyway, thanks.

Lilith said...

Our pooch Pig is double haram, being unclean in name as well as nature. (He smells like hay and biscuits to me)

Anonymous said...

Mrs Lilith,

You have a pig, as a pet? In the house?

Is it a baby one, or one of those great, big, fat porkers?

Are they as smart as (some) dogs? Does it poo everywhere?


mrs narcolept said...

I loved the Scotties in their little macs, especially the ones who refused to trot and insisted on being carried.

yardarm said...

Mr Caractacus, Mr DTP, in Sharm el Sheikh in January enjoyed the sight of some women paddling in the hotel pool in the full clobber, I shit you not. Probably Saudis on the lash who were on the piss even more than me and the Russians. Which is saying something.

Mr Ishmael, that Islamonutterbastard of whom you write is probably an utter hypocrite, indulging himself with boys, pissed out of his head on a regular basis and when caught short in the bog will have no worries about pulling a few pages of the Koran to wipe his arse. The cunt.

Lilith said...

No Mr Vincent! We have a dog called Pig :-)