OBEDIENT TORY TOTTY
TO JOIN FLOURISHING TEAM OF STUPID COWS
(ESTHER MACBETH AND ANNA DILDO, QC.)
Due to the unexpected departure of a (no longer) very valued (not very good) team player, (Baroness Wogsi,) a number of vacancies has arisen in a group of otherwise stupid, incompetent corrupt and degenerate men (HM Government).
Successful applicants will be utterly stupid, speak like spiteful hairdressers or colonic irrigation operatives and will reflect the govament's commitment to gender tokenism.
Duties will include: talking like a redneck crow on Question Time; flouncing in and out of 10, Downing Street in short or split skirts and.......that's it, actually.
The successful applicant will speak fluent shite, hold no opinions whatsoever and must never disagree with the blokes who run things. No muslims need apply.