Monday, 9 September 2013


Delighted to read, in a Filth-O-Graph poll, that not only does the majority of the population not wish to align itself with terrorism and attack Syria but that twenty per cent don't even want to send humanitarian aid.  Hooray!

Longtimers  here will know of the loathing felt for  the thicko burghers of Royal Wootton Bassett and their mawkish legitimising of the unnecessary and in every respect illegal slaughter of those whom they claim,   applauding and flower-strewing, to respect;

 Yes, dear, makes for a nice day out.
There'll be some nice dead young men along in a minute, I shouldn't wonder.

will know that this is despised as hypocritical grandstanding, if these fuckers were going to come together and organise anything it should have been a march on the MOD and Downing Street; no cabinet ministers' children comimg home dead or legless from some shitty, pointless bloodbath, fuck me, no, Geoff, no way Jose

 Cretinous war minister, Hoon,
 I did hear him say that, once, No way, Jose

 but as long as the proles have a bit of a ceremony, a bit of pretence, it'll keep them the fuck quiet,  saves us being troubled with going down to meet the coffinplanes.  Would be rather embarrassing. What with us all earning from it and everything; yes, yes, I would expect to command five grand a day when I leave the house,  that ballpark figure;  what is a ballpark, by the way?   Every one of those squaddies, morbidly chaperoned through Wootton fucking Basset, died for absolutely, incontrovertibly sweet fuck all. Still, we gave them a good send-off.  Cunts, those Bassetheads,  the very worst of British. May their Marks and Sparkses, their C of Es and their British fucking Legions burn to the ground with them in them, whistling The Last Post. No, public sanctimony is unpopular in Ishmaelia.

And the charity workers, the humanitarianistas, they're fucking worse.  All my life there have been international do-gooding charity bandits, pressing me for money;  despite these simpering cretins, all my life hunger, drought, flood and war have increased in almost every part of the world, what fucking use are they; what the fuck use is Oxfam when you can't turn on the tube without some scabby,  posturing, coke-snorting luvvy imploring you to send just three pounds a month.  Nearly a century of organised international charity doesn't work.  Oh, it may help or save a few of the current crop of  refugees but in five minutes there'll be another disaster or coup or genocide coming down the road. No,  the thing to do is kill people.  These jerks with Mercs, all over Africa, getting fat on intercepted aid, someone should just go and shoot them in the head, and keep on shooting their successors, their brothers and nephews and wives, just keep killing the bastards until everybody gets the message, stick their ugly black heads on poles, wipe out the entire tribe if necessary.  Now, somebody launch an organisation like that and I'd be pleased to send them three quid a month, even four. Charity colonialism, though, that's a  waste of time and money and only makes things worse;  alternative charity's what's needed, the kind that comes out of a gun barrel, ballistic charity.

The thing, though, which gives me a red mist moment, a moment when I stop reasoning and just instinctively know that homicide is the only decent, human response to some cunt or other is when the ludicrously mis-named humanitarian organisations share the same news platform as the warmongering fuckpigs, when the CEO of, say, the Red Cross joins forces with Brigadier Rupert Golightly Jockstrap of the Queen's Own NancyBoys and witters-on about it being vital for humanitarian aid to get through.  What this cunt is saying, of course is, You go on ahead General, Sir and slaughter these innocent civilian  fuckers, we'll hold your coat,  that is exactly what they're saying - We'll hold your coat.  What the CEO of the RedCross should be saying, loudly and publicly is,  General, your intervention is illegal and immoral and you, Sir, are an unspeakable cunt.

But aside from the stupefying, industrial strength hypocrisy of charities of all kinds, there is the question of what these cunts pay themselves, from out of  our just threee pounds a week.  The going rate for UK charity CEOs is getting on for two hundred fucking grand a year, considering their workload and their other commitments that's probably about a thousand pounds a day, maybe more.

Let's have a look at Sir or is it now Lord Martin Narey.

 Marty, like many career penologists, worked happily and obediently for HM Prison Service, incarcerating the mentally ill, the educationally and socially disadvantaged and notably far more children and young people than does any other European democracy;  neglect, cruelty and brutality have led many child convicts - honestly, I ask you - to illness, suicide and to being the victims of murderous cover-ups.  Marty, whilst a serving prison governor and then the head of the prison service found all of this perfectly acceptable, believed, also,  that despite so many prisoners being backward to the point of retardation they were, nevertheless,  simultaneously clever, sophisticated criminals who foiled the best efforts of his wholly profesional screws to prevent the importation of drugs into his prisons, so much so that most of the nicks are, after lock-up, wreathed in a haze of dopesmoke.  If Marty, or indeed anyone, were to look in the drives of his officers' homes, he or they might be surprised at the range of expensive vehicles, boats and caravans there parked and wonder, if only for a second, if maybe the people actually getting rich from drugs in prisons might not all be wearing peaked caps.  But that's a digression, everybody knows that the screws are as bent,as brutal, dishonest and moronic as the police. Only moreso.  And if anyone doesn't know that they shouldn't be reading this.

Marty, though, oddly, as his career in HMP drew to a close ,developed a humanitarian evangelism for those in his charge, one which hadn't noticeably troubled him hitherto in his bang 'em up life, nor in the coda to his criminological career as head of the grandly titled and waste of space National Offender Management Scheme.  Humanity was more important than security,Marty took to musing publicly, casting around for a future in the caring professions.

And lo, so it came to pass that Marty the brute,  Marty the kiddy-jailer,  became the head of  what we used to call Dr Barnardo's,  a charity, which I know, historically, to my cost,  exists to further molest already damaged children.  In the Savilesque way of these things, it seems darkly appropriate that such a soiled and tainted miserymonger as Marty Narey should, after a lifetime of jailing and brutalising youngsters, wangle a job as head of one of the largest children's so-called charities;  darkly appropriate and also loathsome and contemptible, just like Sir Marty's knighthood for services to vulnerable people. All he needs is to kiss the Pope's ring and he'll have a full house.

But Marty's rise to the pit of absolute filth doesn't stop there, for he is now an adviser to that great delusional and psycopathic educationalist, 
 Michael Spit, front bench nutter and Murdoch cocksucker.

A cunt at work.
Believe in them, aye, and get them into jail as soon as possible, beat them and frighten them;  never did me any harm.
 Caring, like what I do, at £166,000 pa is just SO rewarding.
Keep on sending me your three quid a week.

Seem to me, ever optimistic, that finally at least a portion of the nation is waking up to the facts of life,  they know that wormy William Hague is lying because his lips are moving;  they know that GlobaCorp are cruel thieving bastards and they know that  do-gooding is a front for do-badding and  they know that they have more in common with ordinary Syrians than they do with the worthless, self-serving reptiles in MediaMinster.  About time, too.

(in hospital for a few days, back at the weekend) 


jgm2 said...

Just back from a summer driving around Southern Africa with the missus and kids. Used to work down there looking for oil but hadn't been back in oooh, 17 or 18 years. As part of the trip we rocked up in Swaziland. Aids capital of Africa and therefore the world. Stayed at 'The Mountain Inn' in Mbabane.

The place was packed with Westerners. I assumed they were some fucking German tour company like there seemed to be in every other fucking place we'd visited in the past five weeks. All talking to each other in that 'getting to know your fellow travellers' kind of way. At breakfast the next morning it turns out they're not a tour company but two or three different AIDS/HIV charities who have booked the same hotel. Not to talk to each other but to have their own mini conferences. League of fucking nations. Yanks, Dutch, Danish, Germans. All terribly earnest. All flying business class, holding 'break-out' meetings in the breakfast room. Tapping away on their laptops, making calls back to the US or wherever.

Cunts. All full-time employees of the AIDS industry. And for every AIDS worker there's some cunt in a white Toyota Landcruiser swanning around Haiti with UN chalked on the side or 'co-ordinating' humanitarian aid from some gated compound. All on the same screw, kids in private school all funded by charity muggers or those ads on TV with fly-blown kids with 1,000 yard stares.

When Cameron was going on about the 'Big Society' what he really meant was getting as many naice, white, middle class Islington types as possible onto these gigs being Lord or Lady Bountiful.

I've long been an advocate of sending 5c to Africa. 5c being the cost of ex Russian .45 bullet when bought in bulk. As you say, shoot their corrupt, kleptocratic leaders in the head until you run out of corrupt kleptocrats.

Africa hasn't changed a bit. The people you meet every day are the nicest, politest, most helpful people in the world. Nope, the problem is the likes of Mugabe and Mbeki and Zuma. All, to a man, who should be shot in the face as matter of extreme urgency.

Even Namibia, which looks like a properly run country, sees fit to have a street in Windhoek (might have been Swakopmund - it was a long trip) named in honour of Robert Mugabe. What the fuck? Has nobody noticed the utter clusterfuck he's made of his country in the past 30 years?

All these cunts living like medieval kings while their subjects live in mud huts. Literally mud-fucking-huts. Or Brieze block and corrugated iron shanty towns in the case of Zuma. Cunts in the aid industry have renamed shanty towns as 'informal settlements'. Can you picture the focus meeting in some 5-star hotel. 'Do you know Sebastian I really think that shanty town is such a negative image...'


call me ishmael said...

Thanks for that, mr rjgm2, welcome home.

Caratacus said...

And thanks from me jgm2. Bloody well-said.

Like to see the Guardianistas reading that and choking over their inedible whole-bollock-grain muesli in the morning...

president bucket o'bollucks said...

well, yes, mr ishmael...i read a piece just the other day which similarly opined that killing people was the only solution to world problems...the only thing to do, so-to-speak...and indeed, the writer went on to conclude that killing all parents would ultimately ensure the elimination of all politicians as a species...but being a thrifty sort of a chap, he decided that the most effective and economical method of achieving a post-parental landscape would be to kill just the human female population, due to their predisposition to mate with feckless males, whose sexually feckless behaviour he would make double-sure of curing by killing all homosexual men too... whilst i find that the politically palliative stratagem expounded by this gentleman has a certain curious appeal and i support it in general principle, as do i also your own subtle variation upon the same intellectual theme, mr ishmael, sir...i must nevertheless, and, may i say, regretfully, take issue with both your good-selves in respect of some of the finer nuances in detail which flesh out your proposed schedules of action...

...first...given that the ungodly desire to give and receive political power is not inherited genetically from one's forefathers, but on the contrary manifests itself as a sin whose origination is to be found in an individual's own freewill...the ensuant possibility, at any point in time, amongst any random subset of people, of an election which promotes a single personage into a position of political privilege simply may not be dismissed...and i therefore cannot, in a theoretical sense, concur that the act of killing all parents would per se necessarily result in the absolute prevention of any particular evil, in this case the natural occurrence of all politicians, since the above-mentioned author's hypothesis evidently presents a profound non-sequitur...

...and thus, in the case which here presents itself, i commend that the only logical course of action, which would be guaranteed to produce the total eradiation of all politicians, is to kill all voters, everywhere... regards your own preference, mr ishmael, for using the money collected by charities to assassinate aid-accumulating african dictators and their families, i am behoven to beg to differ and observe that we would still be continuously assailed by collectors from charities, in whose eternal self-interest it would be to fund the despotism which in turn causes the wars and humanitarian crises that provide such organizations a raison d'être and their executives inappropriately large salaries...

...and bearing this fact in mind, i suggest that the only logical course of action, which would definitely assure us of complete peace from both form african tyrants and from bouncy high-street bucket temptresses, would be to kill all those who donate to charities, or might possibly be inclined to do so.

i pray you will see fit to take my series of suggestions on board, sir.

president bucket o'bollucks - campaign for non-racial genocide said...

sorry - forgot to identify the organization which i represent.

the dark bolt of enlightenment said...

hmmm...i was tuned into newsnight the other day, watching dear diane kickbutt enjoy her few moments in the limelight, having just saved the world from apocalpyse by jamming her doc marten up ed milibuster's rectal orifice at a crucial juncture in inter-party discussions on the military intervention in syria...

...and quietly respecting and admiring her long-suffering constituents, whose blood, sweat and tears had finally succeeded in directing the old unguided chocaholic éclair to lodge right in the bull's eye between ed's buttocks...

...and i tell no lie when i say that the normally wordfluent shadow public health minister, the daughter of a nurse, was almost gob-struck by the guest from charity hand-in-hand for syria, a certain doctor dracrola, who, despite having experienced syrian air-strikes on rebel-held damascus and witnessed the carnage of their aftermath, was frenetically calling on the united states and british governments to replicate this tranche of terror in government-held areas of the country...

...when it comes to ethics, the cia has no frontiers.

lady laaardidah of lordship road said...

@the dark bolt of enlightenment

oh, i's mad isn't it, dear...?

...of course, i'm not getting paid for this peace-work...

...but it's so cool to be a hero for once...

...and god's even given me a doughnut for a halo's just sooooh sweet

erratummy said...

apologies for misrepresenting the lady in question, who has clearly given-up the bonbons and truffles...

...and it read crap too (so much for trying to be politically correct).

amended version:

...and quietly respecting and admiring her long-suffering constituents, whose blood, sweat and tears had finally succeeded in directing the old unguided choccy éclair to lodge herself right in the bull's eye between ed's buttocks...

may as well be done for a bun as for a cake

erratummy said...

whoops wrong way 'round, can't get this correct...

may as well be done for a cake as for a bun

jim chalkison said...

actually, i heard that's not the real di on tv - apparently she's been abducted by yardies and confined to a bumper box of black magic concealed on an estate somewhere in hackney.

Old timer said...

Having spent the better part of 20 years doing this and that in many parts of Southern Africa (from the Congo, all points south) may I just say that I concur with jgm2. The "aid" industry is certainly one big full time effort at spending other people's money with not much to show for it. If you were a lazy layabout African would you make any effort to improve your lot if you knew that doing nothing except sit under a tree drinking beer all day, and thereby maintaining the status quo of poverty, would guarantee another lorry load of "aid" arriving at any moment?

It used to be a magnificent part of the world, but all fell apart following the decolonisation process - and the subsequent proxy wars which followed there with loony, economy destroying, left-wing half-baked dictatorships imposed on the people..

Before Mugabe grabbed power (please don't mention the part played by the North Korean thugs here) Zim was a fabulous place well run, prosperous, disciplined and organised country and its capital a real showpiece. Likewise South Africa until the whites ceded power to the money-grubbing (grabbing?) ANC thugs who still run the place took over. In the late/mid 1980s it was possible to walk in perfect safety along Commissioner Street in the centre of Jo'burg at any time of day or night, but now anybody who does that after about 8pm is just asking to be mugged (or worse). Cape Town is also now rapidly going to the dogs. Please don't believe all the rose-coloured maudlin crap about Mandela either. He was one of the original black mayhem committing terrorists and deserved his time on Robben island.

There is a great deal of Chinese "investment" (ie plundering the natural resources) going on in that part of the world at the moment. There will certainly be a quid pro quo needed for all this money they are spending - probably in the political field. Maybe they will eventually be able to impose some sort of discipline on the native carpetbaggers. Maybe not.

But one thing is for sure, I will not be going back there any time soon. I would rather just keep my lovely memories of a wonderful part of my life there.

double erratummy said...



for a gâteau as for a bun

or simply:

for a bun as for a boiled sweet

turned-over egg-timer draining different direction said...

@old timer

i've no doubt aid from the west is deliberately diverted by western agencies to permit dictators to buy arms

are africans lazy layabouts? the poor ones in the majority can't afford to be idle and don't get a sniff of the aid

ordinary africans were impoverished throughout colonialism and so have lost nothing under the still western-controlled african dictators - all that's changed is that they are no longer directly mugged by white thugs. it was never safe for black people to walk in colonial white areas

the colonialists never developed africa for the benefit of africans, just for themselves - the modernization was window-dressing and essentially envisaged for the benefit of white colonialists and those who assisted them in carrying out the plunder - so the left-wing power-switch made little difference after the wars, which destroyed the infrastructural benefits anyway

mugabe was shoed-in by the british government, but then turned against the former colonialists

the chinese government are doing one-way business like the west and buying-off governments like the west - what they have not done is actually attempt to colonize africans

mandela stood for resistance against racial oppression and exploitation - he endorsed sabotage against non-civilian targets and was then sent to jail, whereafter the real terrorist attacks began

unless we wish to do equitable two-way business in africa, and open up our markets to them, we in the west have no business there, and it's not our business how africans run their affairs

Anonymous said...

Hope everything goes well for you.Hurry back.

Old timer said...

@ egg timer.

Couldn't agree more - it is none of our business how Africans run their affairs - which is precisely why we should all just stop paying for it and spend the money at home instead.

lapping up the limelight said...

@dark bolt of enlightenment

if politicians can't get a splosh of hero-worship, adoration and reverence once in a while, what's in it for them? more publicity to 'er elbow, say i.

pres bucket o'bollucks said...

err...actually, i think i meant "the total eradication of all politicians"...

living by labels said...

@turned-over egg-timer

fashions have changed...and without detracting from your argument that black african politicians have taken the sub-contract for oppression of black african people, i'd gauge that it's a far fairer society in south africa now that each race mugs or murders its own - a status quo powerfully exemplified by the oscar pistorius incident.

old internet proverb say said...

if you really need to do one, don't do it on your own doorstep, do it on mr ishmael's.