HELL ORDERS NUCLEAR-POWERED FURNACE.
This is the news of a ten-billion souls deal, struck by the Beelezebub Energy Corporation (reg. office Down Below) with the French Government to acquire a billion-kiloton nuclear reactor.
We have a new guest arriving any moment, said CEO of HellCorp, Mr Satan,
and we would not wish him to feel cold, cool or even comfortable, not for a moment of Eternity. Yes, yes, I know it is a long time, you don't need to tell me, sonny, I sometimes feel as though I've been here forever. But that's the business I'm in, eternal torment; that's what it says on the tin, that's my mission statement; if I say Eternal Roasting, then that's what I deliver. What, Clergypersons? Yes, my best customers; roasting in the beginning, roasting now and roasting for evermore. Amen, so be it.
M-sieu Hollande, the diminutive, cock-waving philanderer and socialiste turncoat president of France is due to join us in the not very distant future and in exchange for a place some distance from the heating system has agreed to give us the furnace on favourable terms, ie freely, or for free as you folks so inelegantly say, up there.
We shall very soon, in my terms, anyway, very soon be receiving the Reverend Doctor (Univ. of eBay) Ian Paisley's pall bearers and anticipate that they might put a strain on the heating, nothing, though, considering our expertise in the field, that we cannot handle.