Friday, 19 September 2014

NO SAYS NO TO YES. SCOTLAND, STILL BEST PART OF ENGLAND

SNP STUFFED.

Alec Salmond dismisses result as scaremongering.

Nicola Moustache talks so much her head falls off.


Tearful Tommy Sheridan "heartbroken" and in serious need of socialist coke and hookers.

 Queen arrested, drunk and disorderly.


 A lone member of the Yestapo Pipe Band plays the traditional lament: See you, Jimmy?

71 comments:

mrs narcolept said...

Glasses being raised at narcolept hall and celebratory Scottish-themed breakfast being fried.

Mike said...

This won't be the end of it. The score-settling and fallout will be enjoyable.

Jock has woken up John Bull; where this ends is anyones guess.

call me ishmael said...

Good-Oh, mrs n, mrs ishmael has been very worried, I should wake her with a Bucks Fizz. I am delighted, although the SNP is already framing its defeat as victory.

call me ishmael said...

Just the start of something else, mr mike, although Scottish Labour will be revived and break the SNP stranglehold.

SG said...

Sheridan is already blaming the 'British Establishment' for frightening the voters rather than having the humility to admit that the Yes campaign failed to present a compelling case. I am actually surprised that they managed to fool as many folk as they did.

Bungalow Bill said...

Enjoy the moment anyway Mr I. Any defeat over those arseholes is worth celebrating.

Caratacus said...

Mrs. Cameron's little boy will still manage to snatch defeat from the joys of victory ... it only remains to see how spectacularly he can bugger things up.

Any largesse hosed north of the border will have to be matched in the south, and that band of grotesques in the Coition are scarcely the dream team to guide us through the following weeks and months.

P.S. I thought you had promised not to put up any more pictures of my auntie playing the pipes?

Doug Shoulders said...

“It’s people wae money… they want to keep their money they don’t want to share it.” Is the cry over here on the Ayrshire coast. A surprising something like 16% up..bejeezuz. Whodathoughit?
Another cry…”Kilmarnock? I mean come on” Indeed the home of the bijou and the drug addled pedestrianised shopping centre was a no vote.
Second place for Salmond in true Scots fashion innit?
I’m please for the coupla English blokes that work at my place. God knows what would have become of them if it went the other way.
Great turnout though..

DtP said...

Congrats I guess. I think I got quite excited about the consequences of a Yes. Ffs - if Brown gets a new lease of life, all bets are off! Nah, seriously, bravo!

call me ishmael said...

I remain amazed that one and a half million people - many of them neither British or Scottish - believe that there is any difference between a set of thieving whores in Holyrood and their opposite numbers in MediaMinster, the one peddling a racist and bogus patriotism and the other peddling a racist and bogus patriotism. Civil and just society, my arse.

Anonymous said...

If you have a spare 12 minutes and 14 seconds, Mr I, then I recommend "The Jones Plantation" on YouTube.
If I was in Scotland I would have abstained.
-richard

Anonymous said...

I watched that, mr richard, it's a different take on Animal Farm, if considerably less long-winded. Yes, more people should watch it but more people should do lots of things and in the welter of the web it grows more difficult to direct others to one's choices.

As for abstaining, I wasn't voting for anything but against a furtherance of hatred, had no choice, really; for Evil to triumph.....and all that, I see the tribesmen as an abomination, as bad, in their desires, as Bullingdon Boys and Champagne Socialists, unsubtle and brutish, dying to get their hands on Tyranny's levers. You know I don't believe in that My Enemy's enemy stuff - they are all my enemy.

Alphons said...

David Cameron ..."and it was time for the United Kingdom now to “move forward”.

Does he not realise that it is the politicians, like him, who have been holding back the United Kingdom for generations?

Shouldn't we be have a new system of free honest government without the parasitic, self serving, corrupt world of politics being involved?

Doug Shoulders said...

A truer historical reference would have had a Scotsman as the Smith character. As has often been the case, and still is, the ingenuity and industry (Cunning also) of the Scots has been used to further and consolidate power.

Woman on a Raft said...

Mr Salmond deserves our thanks, down here, for having applied an electric cattle prod to the buttocks of our Imperial Masters.

My spies tell me that the piles of fag ends outside their HQ in Matthew Parker street were annoying the council as the clouds of blue anxiety rose up the facia of the building. They've had a proper scare. Good.

It is begining to penetrate those bovine skulls that Labour might get its act together, and that they could be out on the path perpetually if England becomes a set of metropolitan councils under Labour rule.

It will be interested to see how they are going to avoid that.

Anonymous said...

"They may take our pensions but they"ll never take our freedom....where's everybody going?"
- William Wallace

Anonymous said...

Disabled toilet.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
jgm2 said...

Apparently Salmond has resigned - pending election of a new leader.

So, all-in-all a good night for those in Fucking Scotland who aren't Little Scotlanders.

call me ishmael said...

As well he might, mr jgm2, resign; Sturgeon should also resign but if she becomes leader it will wipe them out, apart from in their own minds. Yes, all in all a good night for the grown-ups.

call me ishmael said...

No children, you see, either of them, Alec or Nicky; nothing wrong with that but as even Gordon Brown knew, a bairn or two will connect any arsehole-munching politico to the punters. The Scottish wifey will not take kindly to being gabshited by the horrid wee harridan, many would prefer Tory lesbian Ruth Boy Davidson to the creepily careerist Sturgeon.

call me ishmael said...

Finest politician of his generation, skymadeupnewsandfilth mouths the phrase as though it were a wedding vow, a citation for valour, instead of a frightful condemnation of graft, greed, bullying and mountainous hypocrisy.

Rosevidney Rustic said...

Politicians are all legends in their own minds......

call me ishmael said...

That may be the case, mrs woar, but you would feel less grateful if this man's nonsense had threatened to make you a foreigner in your own land. A great sight in Glasgow by the way, as Brits confront tribesme.

mongoose said...

Did anyone else get the feeling that this wasn't what the media signd up for today? They all hung around looking disappointed. The while telling us that nothing had happened but that now not quite as momentous things were maybe going to happen, sometime, probably, but.

The real verdict on the next year is Wee Eck's resignation because there is no way in hell he would have stood aside if some other bastard could take his glory.

On the other hand, who'd be Nicola now? I am reminded that Devalera kept his powder dry and sent Michael Collins to London to do his negotiating for him. And look how well that went, for both of them.

jgm2 said...

Mr I

'No children, you see, either of them, Alec or Nicky; nothing wrong with that'

Well, there is a problem with that - at least in my mind. Just as we try to do the best for our kids, we are deeply suspicious of any fucker who claims he wants a bright future for Fucking Scotland but, who, beyond a few years flying around in a blue and white plane as Emperor of Fucking Scotland has no skin in the game.

Being cynical it is why Brown suddenly decided that child funds (or whatever the fuck they're called) wer such a good idea - fuck me, I'm a parent, I can buy votes via other people's kids - so it is that Salmond went the other route. 'Free' health care for the elderly.

When your missus is 77 it's probably 'front of mind'(sorry) than free handouts to kids.

Anyway, the man's a horrible, divisive cunt and Fucking Scotland and the wider UK is better off without him. Too bad the Maximum Imbecile didn't get the hint back in 2010.

SG said...

Interesting comment about Ruth Boy Davidson Mr I and the 'direction of travel' of the Tories in Scotland, best part of England. This has passed through my mind too. If they are smart they have the biggest opportunity here of any party if they can re-invent and reposition themselves with the thinking Scots - take some doing no doubt (though I suspect that their toxicity is somewhat overstated) but looking at the post referendum vista there is everything to play for.

SG said...

I've girded my loins and positioned a sick bag and am listening to Any Questions. Tom Devine, an SNP idealogue masquerading as an academic... Grrr! No more a Professor than that Greer woman who should be deported back to Australia... Actually, its not MediaMinister anymore, just Media...

SG said...

So-called Professor Devine of the University of 'Scotia' has clearly been kneeling at the feet of Gorgeous George, if only as a source for his oratorical style:

"Sir, I salute your courage, your strength your indefatigability. And I want you to know that we are with you until victory, until victory..."

Bungalow Bill said...

How shrivelled it all now seems, what pygmies they all are. The UK stumbled into the whole half-arsed pantomime, " led " by two of the most vacuous and venal PMs in our history, and now we stagger about without a fucking clue as to what may come of it all. There is a certain sense of shame in it all isn't there, in this great loss or ourselves? To whom do we look for our salvation, the car salesman Farage, the Fool Johnson, Snot Reborn? There really is no-one , no-one at all. As you said somewhere Mr I, a wilderness of mirrors and we would do well not to look into any of them.

Paul Roach said...

Such a cynical band of never ever you cunts truely are.
Perhaps when jock decides to just hunt you learned fuckers down and make you pay for your service to humanity you will understand that intelligence is not about knowledge, rather, Its about how you are treated and percieved.
Much learning has blinded you to the simple truth that mankind is basically equal despite the factoring in of religion and flags and all that other bullshit.
I dont hold much hope for humanity given that humanity opposes humanity and it just may be that the gaian principles will be proved right and humanity will fuck the planet up so much that guinea pigs will inherit the earth.
As for me? well,I wish you all the best of luck with your intelligence and your hope for the learned to do the right thing, but, I suspect the feeling of being better will be no consolation when humanity self terminates.
As an aside I can tell you I used to believe in my state given religion and our conquering of the beastial others, but life has given me a real education and I now understand that Queen and country and all that shite is merely a means to an end for those who propose they have the best understanding of life and all things living.
I absolutely hate punctuation and all that other up yourself shite, sometimes communication does not depend on words so fuck you if you belittle me, actually, Its what I expect from you.
I may be a little raw and perhaps not a tad hateful, then again, if you lot of self satisfied smug academic arseholes are our saviours, then I fear we are truely all fucked, regardless of our unfounded hopes and aspirations.

Still, I may not agree with everything I read on here, I do somehow feel at home here.

SG said...

Yes Mr BB - I quote from another one of those filllmmms I'm rather fond of:

"Remember: the enemy has only images and illusions behind which he hides his true motives. Destroy the image and you will destroy the enemy".

The equivalent of £5 in Mr Salmond's failed currency to any of the 'consigliere' who can name that film.

SG said...

Welcome home Mr Roach!

Mike said...

Hi Paul: if you review past comments I think you will find that most people here are actually tolerant and humanitarian. Its actully lying, self-serving politicians we reserve our hatred for, and there are plenty to choose from. Its not hard to lampoon the manifold absurdities which affect all our lives. And fortunately we can express ourselves freely, as you just did.

Mike said...

Mr SC: 10 milliseconds and Google gave the answer. I won't claim the fiver as I cheated. Makes my point on an earlier thread though, that we now rely more on tech rather than learning, and we assume what we are spoon fed to be correct.

Bungalow Bill said...

No idea Mr SG but it's a good one. I await the answer from you or someone. Mr Roach I come here because I enjoy the company and I hope you will too. If punctuation was a requirement then we would all be in trouble.

SG said...

No Mr Mike - £5 in the virtual equivalent of the 'wee biccies' on their way to you. A great film, IMHO, if only for the images of Hong Kong back in the early seventies. I managed to get there myself a couple of years before we handed it back to the Chinese. Aberdeen Harbour with bare hillsides... Regards...

call me ishmael said...

Not quite that bad, mr bungalow bill. The couple of million repudiated a juggernaut machine fuelled by stolen taxpayers' money, denied MediaMinster the shock horror scoop fir whic it was clearly angling and, by its modest stillness and humility completely bamboozled the shouty, ignorant mutant horde.

This happened in a land in which the franchise had been elaborately sculpted to produce an illegitimate result, in which the Freedom seekers sought to silence all who dissented. Salmond and his media stooges are worthless lying bastards; I saw it with my own eyes, Jock, cross-dressing, inebriate wifebeater, howling, barracking, intimidating, fathomless, mutant grievance, misunderstood history, bogus patriotism, hoodlum politics, all of it comprehensively routed by Decency.

Best of all, the primitive, anachronistic and destructive mantra of nationalistic socialism sent spiralling into the vortex of electoral oblivion; Hitler dead, Goering and Himmler squabbling over the leadership of the ruined reich. Bravo, Scotland.

We can look, for a glimmer of salvation, mr bungalow bill, to Everyman, his patience, determination, resistance and his cunning, outwitting the crass guile of the rotten politician, drowning out his raucous choir of bile and hatred.

Mike said...

Mr SG: I was fortunate to live in Honkers for a year in 1988/89 - the time of Tianamen Sq. I lived in Happy Valley overlooking the racecourse, which one evening was filled with 1 million torch-carrying demonstrators. Very exciting. I felt very ashamed to be British when some of the bollocks from the UK parliament about HK chinese passport holders was live on TV. Started me on my road to emigration.

A very interesting place and time.

call me ishmael said...

As it says at the top of the page, mr paul roache: intelligence is knowing what to when you don't know what to do.

Like the nationalists, you distort and exaggerate, in ten years or more of doing this I have never knowingly belittled anyone and of, I dunno, thirteen thousand comments, I may have deleted five.

Furthermore, ten years ago I coined the derigatorybphrase Apostrophe Jihadist for exactly the reasons which you marshal in your wholly unreasonable tirade.

There are a couple of million words, here, maybe more and I suspect that if you reviewed a tiny fraction of that number you might feel that you owe myself and others notvonly an apology but a word of thanks for maintaining the freedom if thought and expression which you claim for yourself but would so rudely deny us.

SG said...

I was there in the early nineties Mr Mike - flew into the old City airport - Stayed with an old friend on Lantau - we went walking one day along the coast in some sort of national park - saw absolutely nobody all day bar a cow wandering about on a beach. Also sailed around the Spratly Islands - one or two good pubs ther, I seem to recall - reminded me of old Blighty now long dead it seems, truly a land of contrasts - I dare not go back for fear of what may have happened since...

Mike said...

Mr SG: a lot to remember, but the flight into the old airport down main street Kowloon used to make me hold my breath.

I went back after the handover was agreed. I used to get a haircut in the Hollywood Beauty Parlour in Causeway Bay. Went every week, not that my hair grew that much, but I enjoyed the head massage that the chinease guy gave - he had fingers like Oddjob.

On going back, went there but the chinese guy refused to do me. He recognised me but wouldn't budge. The (chinese) owner was embarrassed and he did the haircut - but no vigorous massage.

Can't say I blamed him for the despicably way the passport holders were treated by UK politicians, most of whom couldn't find HK on a map.

Bungalow Bill said...

George Eliot is always worth a look : "and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might gave been, is half owing to those who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs". I think that is a lovely tribute to the sort of unacknowledged, anonymous endurance in the face of stupidity and evil of which you speak.

But then she has: "An election is coming. Universal peace is declared and the foxes have a sincere interest in prolonging the lives of the poultry".

And so it goes.

call me ishmael said...

I don't know that, I will look it up.
I love this, from Grey's Elegy:

Let not Ambition mock their useful toil,
Their homely joys, and destiny obscure;
Nor Grandeur hear with a disdainful smile
The short and simple annals of the poor.

SG said...

Yes Mr Mike - that flight took my breath away too. Regarding the betrayal by UK politicians - same thing happened to Rhodesia, under Mrs T, FFS. A few years ago I went on one of those expedition travel trips around Namibia. The truck drivers were both black Zimbabwean (earning a few real dollars, or any currency they could get their hands on, to send back to their families to keep them alive) we got to talking over a few beers, about the old days. We talked about the Ian Smith days. They volunteered, maybe to earn a few dollars more, that when Ian Smith relinquished power that Mr Smith said "we are handing the country over to the dogs". "At the time"' they said, "we laughed- Now we say he was right".

call me ishmael said...

It is a tough one,that, the Smith regime was unjust for sure but was the possible emergence of a Mugabe enough reason to uphold it?

But it is annoying how Jock conflates the United Kingdom with the colonies of Imperialism, especially when Jock, himself, was a prominent slaver and blockade runner in the American Civil War, activities upon which Glasgow was built.

Bungalow Bill said...

Since I am, as so often, hazy with wine and since you have quoted the superb elegy, how about this from the greatest of the atheists, the wondrous insurance lawyer Wallace Stevens, often impenetrable but just as often stupendous:

"We say God and the imagination are one...
How high that highest candle lights the dark.

Out of this same light, out of the central mind,
We make a dwelling in the evening air,
In which being there together is enough".


As I say, blame the wine, always makes me do this sort of thing I'm afraid.

SG said...

Yes Mr I. Mr Smith had some things that are missing from our modern politicians - like competence, values and integrity. But he, and his countrymen, were fighting against overwhelming odds, the local ZANU / ZAPU 'insurgency' being the least of it. Reportage from the proper, c. 1970s, Daily Telegraph refers.

Mike said...

Mr SG: the true betrayal of Rhodesia to Mugabe can be firmly placed at the feet of Lord Carrington and the foreign office at the Lancaster Gate summit.

If you remember, Joshua Nkomo was the popular choice, but Carrington gave in to the threats of violence from Mugabe, who only had minority support.

Another disgraceful betrayal.

SG said...

Thanks Mr Mike. I remember well and you are right about that - though it did happen on her 'Watch'. Oddly he fell on his sword later over the Falklands, which I am not sure he deserved. Still some sort of justice done in the end perhaps - though not for wretched inhabitants of Zimbabwe - the once prosperous Rhodesia.

call me ishmael said...

That's very nice, mr bungalow bill, I haven't heard of him, either.

call me ishmael said...

This post-colonial conundrum, it is the infinitely elastic definition of Freedom which causes all this shit; a definition precise enough when fighting the Nazis but, as we see, much embroidered in the hands of folk like the SNP.

Simon Schama did a good show the other night about political freedom, linking Churchill and Orwell, political opposites sharing the patriotism of Freedom, public schoolboys, squabbling about the means but united about the end, good stuff, great stuff, maybe.

DtP said...

Definitions of freedom are the stuff of life - not sure it's all cake & gin but that's what i'm going for.

I'm a bit depressed because I thought Yes would be piss funny but the Salmond chap did see to make up left wing policies whilst selling fake golf courses to wiggy pimps. I guess we're straight back to national problems where an unelected Prime Minister will be replaced by a dick student cunt - hee hee - let's all laugh ourselves to sleep!

SG said...

The film, Mr BB, was 'Enter the Dragon' starring Bruce Lee. More Hi-Karate, than high art I'm afraid but redolent of its time and place.

call me ishmael said...

You wouldn't think it funny, mr dick, if you lived in the best part of England. That, however, is a good observation of the Scottish left, golf courses for jetsetting playboys trampling over science and beauty, the locals assaulted by GlobaCorp goons, that's Salmondia, fuck him, horrid, wee, smirking arsehole.

call me ishmael said...

Don't start with the redolent shit, mr sg, it must have seeped into your brain from Salmond's graceless resignation speech.

Bungalow Bill said...

Than you Mr SG. I remember it well.

SG said...

Ah, thank you Mr I. I didn't listen to the speech so don't think it can have seeped in from there - I had in mind the old meaning of the 'R' word - sweet smelling or fragrant (not something I associate with Mr Salmond). Actually I am almost, if not quite, sorry to see him go - if only because somoething worse is waiting in the wings to replace him.

call me ishmael said...

Some fearful thing doth close behind him tread, mr sg, but as mr mike said at the top of the programme, John Bull is awakened, as is unionist Scotland; any new Pictish bullshitting regime will be short-lived.

SG said...

I hope so Mr I. I do hope so. Dr Starkey, by the way, makes some interesting observations about all this over in the Filthograph if you ain't seen it already. Worth a read if you have the time. I'm not sure I would want to see English nationalism turned up too high, the Scots version is bad enough (though fortunately I don't think that sort of stuff has mass appeal down hear - we're too cynical - or, unfortunately, apathetic) but equally we should cease to be afraid of our own shadow.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/scottish-independence/11109179/Scottish-referendum-Now-England-must-rediscover-its-patriotism.html


SG said...

Hear? Here! My brain seems to be palsifying as fast as my fingers!

tdg said...

Whatever the merits and demerits of the SNP, independence was the only hope of a change that could make the revolution so often called for in these pages possible. Not led by the SNP, naturally, but by others for whom it will have created space. In celebrating the avoidance of one disaster, you are celebrating the indefinite perpetuation of another.

call me ishmael said...

I have a new i thing, mr sg, which eases the difficulty of the fucking thing, reducing the likelihood of all-thumbs typos. I'll show it to you later.

Hard to know about English nationalism, it may attract differing groups of malcontents, good and bad, as does mr fruitcake. I used to say, when newly-arrived in Scotland and lamenting its dire traditional music, that if you move to England you won't have to learn morris dancing, it enraged snooty Jock but delighted as many, sick to fucking death with professional folkies, mining Culloden and the Clearances for a rich seam of recording contracts and concerts. I will dig it oot, from before-before, it's in the Herald, somewhere.

call me ishmael said...

No, mr tdg, i am not; sorry, but response and refutation must wait a while, a duty of hospitality calls.

SG said...

Thank you Mr I - most kind. It is not the Nut-Kippers I fear - most of them, I think, are nostalgics looking for something they feel they have lost - something that, perhaps never really existed. No the real counterparts to the SNP down here are to be found elsewhere on the hard left and extreme right - not that I would put all SNP voters in those places - many I am sure are decent, responsible people but there is something nasty in the ethos of that organisation which we have all been discussing various aspects of as we have been travelling along this road together.

call me ishmael said...

The elevation of one bunch of rabble-rousers over another may be the traditional revolution, mr tdg, it is not one which I seek; there is no difference between the SNP and any other such group and there is not the remotest possibilty that, victorious, it would have ceded an inch to Decency or to any other cabal; instead, mayhem would have ensued, mayhem, vengeance for imaginary wounds and widespread disadvantage, in the name of the Cause, the cause being the resurrection of a barbaric and treacherous medieaval nation state. Mine is a borderless revolution, at least within these islands and the complete rejection of nineteenth-century political parties playing musical chairs over my life, shitting in my face as they do. A vote for Salmond and his tribal troop would have buggered and beggared modern Scotland, too high a price to pay for a possible revolution, sometime. And you, yourself, have wisely argued that the cyber highway, the internet forum can be neither diverted nor silenced; isn't that why we here foregather, you and I ?

If the black children are to be allowed water, if the brown children are to be spared napalm and if the white children are to learn poetry rather than consumerism it is fewer borders we need, not more. Nothing counter-revolutionary about that.

tdg said...

Human beings are essentially tribal animals: only those sure of their tribal security can rise above it. Civilisation is cream to the milk of ordinary togetherness, and will inevitably sour with it; it cannot be laid on top, concocted from abstractions, mediated digitally or otherwise. Indeed the power the digital age gives us, individually, is to resist the tyranny of misconceived abstractions, the nonsense theories of the sociologist, substituting crude mechanised absurdities for forms of life proven over millenia. But it can be done only if we can drill down to the bedrock of civil association, which is necessarily local, specific, historical, characteristic. Otherness is needed to give sameness sense; you can belong to someone only if you do not belong to everyone; nationalism is the other side of the coin of nationhood, without it it would have zero weight. If we forget these things our revolution becomes all message and no medium. Or so, at least, it seems to me.

call me ishmael said...

Thanks, mr tdg, I'll sleep on that.

Paul Roach said...

Mr Ishmael I do indeed apologise for my outburst,seems after a lifetime of waiting for some kind of social enlightenment and engagement from the great unwashed of which i happen to be a member of, I was totally apoplectic by the visions of those suckers of the masonic cock, the orange order, setting apon the students and supporters of change via the yes campaign, however unsavoury they seemeth unto your good self.
Having been brought up in the schismatic enviroment and being disengaged with it since a child,and now at 50 years old I was hoping for something more from all this,
However, on futher inspection of your blog I find myself guilty on the serious charge of leaping before I look,That said, I doubt much hurt was done here to anyone.
Having peeked into this world I find myself wanting to understand and be understood,
And I look forward to learning much here.

Thank you Mr SG for the welcome, and thank you Mr ishmael for the rebuke.

Born in a working class enviroment has not done much for my trust towards the leadership of this country and I suspect the same is true from the other end of the scale regarding the working class, however I will try to remain as openminded as is humanly possible for a shat upon subject of the realm.

Paul Roach said...

Mr Bungalow bill, I am certain of an entertaining enjoyable experience and I hope to learn much on the road to my demise

call me ishmael said...

That is the tragedy of existence, mr paul roache, the amount which we learn, en route.

Rebuke is not an enterprise, here, if it was, there would be, a priori, comment moderation.