If you had seen my Charlie at the head of an army
He was a gallant sight to behold
With his fine tartan hose on his bonnie round leg
And his buckles all pure shining gold
The tartan my love wore was the finest Stuart Kilt
With his soft skin all under it as white as any milk
It's no wonder that seven hundred highlanders were killed
In restoring my Charlie to me.
My love was six foot two without stocking or shoe
In proportion my true love was built
Like I told you before upon Culloden Moor
Where the brave highland army was killed
Prince Charlie Stuart was my true love's name
He was the flower of England and a pride to his name
Ah but now they have banished him over to Spain
And so dear was my Charlie to me
(repeat last verse)
100 comments:
Now that is satire, Mr I. Excellent. I regret to tell you that one of my kin made shoes for his army - though under duress, I like to think, or maybe for some coin of greater value than the most recent would be "King of Scotland" had on offer...
It is a fair comparison, Stewart fled the field of Culloden while six thousand Highlanders, keen to fight, milled around leaderless. The millionaire, expenses-fiddling princeling, even if, as is possible, he loses his seat, will retire to luxury, his supporters,often, to the penury for which he promised relief and remedy, a bad lot, Salmond.
It is not kind, Mr I, to kick the fallen when they are on the way to supper.
Comedy's all about timing. There's got to be victims and Salmond can go fuck himself - great campaign and losing's a bitch but I reckon he did the right thing. The boy nearly killed a Prime Minister and there's gonna be retaliation - no ingenue, he.
So the jewel encrusted Skirt of State remains unstitched, Jock Force One will never cleave the vault of heaven, bearing its tubby occupant to ten minute audiences with the Pope, a thirty second photo op with Autocue and to the Aegean, to kneel respectfully before the rotting Murdoch on his yacht. Forever the heir to Robert the Bruce in his mind, this clown isn`t even the heir to Bruce Forsyth in ours.
Still MacMugabe has the consolations of the expense accounts of Holyrood and Westminster. And no doubt his campaign to replace Wysteria as Area Manager for Big Money in Scotland will gain him a few boardroom sinecures; and the media.
In his case it served that politicians are so fucking useless, if he had been a more intelligent man, a colder, more calculating man than a gobby, bullshitting chancer, then the vote might have had a different outcome.
As to the rest of the rubbish: Miliband, heckled by a Yestapo Disruption Squad, their jeers billowing out that Empty Suit and blowing it back south of Hadrian`s Wall.
Cameron almost added to his scroll of achievements like nearly arming ISIS, turning Libya into a democratic utopia, feathering the banksters nests and generally shitting on us, his Washer Gob puckering as he claimed to speak for the Union, no cunt, you don`t speak for me, where`s my vote: the question should be asked, how did he nearly destroy the Union, the worthless prick?
MacMugabe shouldn`t be the only one resigning to spend more time with his loot.
If we lived in a true democracy (like Russia) all the players in this imbecilic pantomime would be on their way to Siberia to be fitted with a hemp collar.
You only omitted, mr yardarm, to mention that Salmond's nonsense has delivered Snotty an entree to manstream politics again. I expect that he will soon lead the dreadful JockLabour party to victory over wee Nicky and steal Salmond's own backbench thunder. To be fair to he old growling fairy, though, he is ten times the personality of the hapless irritant, Miliband, although someone should counsel him that a liitle Snot goes a long way, his deevol-youshuns, resol-youshuns and trans-pairunsees retaining their fearful tedium, still crazy, after all these years.
I don't think we have so reacted since the Civil War, mr alphons, assurances are in place which protect the governors from the goverened, at all times, which elevate the lawmakers over the law, indemnifying the thief, the beast and the murderer; Salmond will be gloriously rewarded, his ain folk not the bitter tenementee but the banker, the crook and the prince; no ropes here.
I can't see Mr Mr Snot making a comeback.
The winner will be Monsiuer Farage, once the others decend into petty squabling and look like they are ignoring the English.
Mister Ed is more dead than ever but who else is there to advance a courageous, civilised socialism? I agree Scottish Labour is going to come back to dominance but the English party even with boundaries advantage looks absolutely fucking clueless. God help us if weirdo Balls is the alternative, all the others look like ciphers. That's the unresolved and possibly unresolvable problem for those of us who value the UK and who hope for its rescue from the management consultants and the other capitalist barbarians. Others have seen the Scottish events as a rehearsal for the regionalising/federalising of our nation, the destruction of our authentic community lives so that we may be wholly corporatised. Where are the intellect and vision to hold us together? I hope you are right about Everyman, Mr I, I really do.
Have you listened yet, mr bungalow bill, to Jackson Browne's For Everyman? It comforts as can no wine.
We said some time ago that Miliband portrayed, like nothing else, the putrefaction of the Labour party, his plastic bleating, today, a woeful charade; I wouldn't speak to Harris in cadences of such impossible hypocrisy. And if I did my sins would find me out. Ed Miliband, an ever-giving gift to David Cameron, holding open the door to corporate vandalism.
He has already made a comeback, mr mike, delivering a huge speech on the PBC, just this morning, as though he was still unelected prime minister, none saying, hang about, who the fuck do you think you are?
If he can confine himself to Holyrood he may yet lift his legacy, as they call it, from History's shithouse, just a little bit.
Farage and BoJo, though, they will dazzle Anglo-Saxony, like never before. I heard, a few minutes ago, some lunatic suggest in all seriousnessness, that we should revive the regional divisions of the nation in line with those of Alfred the Great - Wessex, Mercia and so on. No, really, he did, on the PBC.
MR I,
'I heard, a few minutes ago, some lunatic suggest in all seriousnessness, that we should revive the regional divisions of the nation in line with those of Alfred the Great - Wessex, Mercia and so on. No, really, he did, on the PBC.'
I've been hearing for years that the EU's plan for the UK has been to break it up into ten or so 'regions'. Indeed I believe the EU already has regional offices in such regions and all that remains to be done is to create the little administrative teeny parliaments to go with them.
Hence the failed effort under Prescott to create a regional parly for the North of England. It's so much easier if people vote for it and believe it's their idea.
I think this BBC thing is just another shot in that battle (I didn't see it).
It was that impertinent establishment doxy on Any Answers, mr jgm2, wossername and one of those people who allow some ree-surcher to vet them before allowing them ninety seconds of fame. I, too, have heard that for years and if it is the case brussels should reward Salmond for bringing it forward.
Just listened to it Mr I and it is a poignant thing Mr I. He is a sad and seasoned soul and such people are always condoling. As we have discussed, hope may lie with the disregarded and the quietly faithful but I worry, like most on here, about the monsters who have only contempt for the gentle, the truly accomplished and the unprofitable. But you are right, despair is not an option.
Apologies for the repetition and typo, I blame the iPad of course.....
There has been a rash of these people suddenly demanding Northumbria and Brigantia back, as if they have been brooding about it for years and at last have found the courage to speak up. Worse still, elected mayors for allegedly major cities. It works for Lahndun, said Ken Livingnewt, on the radio this morning.
What we need is some lumbering demagogue to yell Never, Never, Never at them. I don't think Mr Archie Andrews is equipped for that.
I will come to the i pad remedy soon, mr bungalow bill, it is good, if middling costly news; perhaps, one way and another, there will be a greater awakening, certainly scepticism abour MediaMinster has never been so rife, at least, not in my time.
I like courageous and civilised Mr I but unfortunately the socialist road invariably leads to an authoritarian or even totalitarian destination. I suppose it depends what you mean by 'socialism'. Not even the uber-efficient Germans were able to make the socialist economic model work. But the GDR would have looked like a paradise compared to a Britain under 'real' socialism - a ramshackle, grossly inefficient, rustbelt economy controlled by self serving producer interests manufacturing shoddy goods nobody wants to buy. Fiendish bureaucracy and ruinous rates of taxation destroying any initiative and forcing anyone with any entrepreneurial aspirations or abilities to leave for other shores. Empty supermarket shelves. Power cuts. A dreary monochrome world for the vast majority of people. Real power in the hands of union bosses wielding block votes. What's left of politics given over to a rag bag of loony left interest groups - wimmin, GLBTs, PIE, 'uman rights, supporters of various terrorist organisations (remember the GLC?). ideologically motivated Social Workers busybodying into every aspect of people's lives. I could go on and bloody on... Socialism, Mr I - sorry but No Thanks!
It is a frightful stupidity revealing itself, a post code X Factor contest, dunderheads seeking Independence for their street, their house, mrs narcolept and entirely the opposite of what is required for survival of the species.How far back, historically, should we travel in this orgy of spurious self-determination, the fucking Stone Age?
I think you confuse me with mr bungalow bill, mr sg, with the socialism thing, although I am happy to record my admiration of the creation of the welfare state by the labour movement and repeat that without it we might all be dead from rickets, barely literate and living in ratty slums, that we would be hanging people, abusing women, jailing homosexuals and battering niggers; if that is socialism, the relief of so many ills, then I am honoured to be associated with it. mr jgm2 and I went to a grammar school which, without the labour movement, would have been unreachable, that susequently the Labour party has betrayed the labour movement, indeed has bombed Middle Eastern working people to death is another story, much here rehearsed.
I will endeavour to pen something about this self determination business Mr I - when I have subsided from my socialism rant. In the meantime, regarding your rhetorical 'Stone Age' question, I used to think about the future quite a lot as a boy growing up in the 1970s. I never imagined that religion would still be such a potent force by now & that re-runs of the Crusades would be fought in the Middle East or that the Great Game would live on in Central Asia. Rather I thought, perhaps fueled by my avid reading of science fiction, that we would have harnessed the power of science and technology to have solved many of the basic problems that afflict us - hunger, disease, overpopulation. Our real challenges I thought would be of understanding the universe, exploring space (I thought that by now we would have established colonies on the moon, maybe Mars). How niave I was and how sad it is.
My humble apologies to both you and Mr BB, Mr I, for the confusion. Clearly a visit to the optician is called for. Regarding the welfare state, though there is no denying that the Labour movement had a hand in its creation wasn't its modern architect a Liberal? The Attlee government implemented Beveridge's blueprint of course but I think the impetus for it came out of the circumstances of the War and that there was a fairly widespread consensus at the time that we should not return to the conditions of the Thirties that you describe. To me the rationing of education, healthcare and welfare on the basis of need rather than income or wealth are not 'socialism' but rather hallmarks of a civilised society. Therefore I support and indeed am a beneficiary of these principles. That said I am not sure that Beveridge would much like what has been done with his blueprint. Also I agree with your view that the Labour Party has utterly betrayed the labour movement. The latter and, indeed, the working class no longer exist in any recognisable form.
You relate Mr SG the diseases of statist bureaucracy which are as much a component of capitalist governance. Behold the vulgar triumph of the Thatcher/ Reagan Age, see what wonders they and their idiot children have wrought. Socialism and socialist thought have freed a significant part of humanity - by no means the majority - from the oppressions of the entitled, the religious and the profiteering. Who now, as always, are the enemy: the socialist commissars of tabloid imagining or the global raptors of poverty, famine, war and disease? The endurance of capitalism beyond the demented tyranny of Soviet Communism has made it more dangerous than ever because it strengthens those who believe its calculation of human nature and value is the only one possible: man and woman as enthralled consumers, cullable when they threaten to become ungrateful or too numerous.
Mr SG: My father told me it was the troops (other ranks) returning from war that were determined not to return to the post-war class determined state. Even to the extent that they voted against Churchill. An aunt, who was in the home guard, always thought the troops were ungracious for dumping nice Mr Churchill. A victory for National Socialism? In later life, in the Wilson era, he confided that seeing how things turned out, he was sorry he didn't switch sides (he had a high regard for the Afrika Korps, whom he faught across N Africa).
Todays politicians are only concerned with sharing power and money; I have more respect for the Kray gang.
Your dad's dismay, though, mr mike, was surely rhetorical; much has been recorded about the nature of the North African conflict being uniquely chivalrous, of Rommel's warrior grace and eventual murder but much more is known about institutionalised military atrocity and holocaustal ethnic cleansing; me, I would have dismantled Germany, scattered her population to the winds and eradicated her culture but then you know how liberal I am.I agree about the Kray twins vs MediaMinster, whilst reminding myself and others that, daft as a brush, Harold Wilson was nevertheless the last impoverished former prime minister.
It was, mr sg, the other ranks, literally and figuratively, who wrought the great electoral upset, substituting for wretched hauteur a form of collectivism, death-dutying an undeserving, idle elite, which, without Winston and others, would have welcomed Herman the German to their hunts, balls, banquets and daughters.
Thanks Mr BB - I agree with you about that - two wrongs do not make a right. The evolution of capitalism during the Victorian era had some moral and democratic underpinnings but it has come loose from these moorings. What we have now is a sort of gangster - crony capitalism driven by pure greed. The conditions of oligopoly and monopoly that Marx warned about have emerged. A world dominated by banks so large that they dwarf the economies that host them and the management consultancies, the big four, that have ideologically, if not physically, infiltrated almost every organisation, big and small, private and public, across the globe. I dislike GlobaCorp as much as I do Big State Mr BB. But enough of my ranting for now!
From my reading of history Mr I, I agree that some of them would. But during WW1 the casualty rate amongst young officers drawn from the upper classes was far higher than amongst the other ranks. Sweeping generalisations are often unjust - guilty of the same though I am. Such a hypocracy and from my own pen!
If there is a meeting point on these pages then it is the loathing of entitled, corrupt authority and the onset of a particularly modern type of cultural barbarism. I consider myself Marxist by intellectual, but not by any means uncritical, conviction but I admire the anti-capitalist Right; people we have recently mentioned like Auberon Waugh, A.N. Wilson, Richard Ingrams, Michael Wharton et al. It is the crude Thatcher/ Tebbit legacy I cannot accept, the repellent betrayal and disposal of what was best about us.
Just reading that Mr Snot has "vowed" to have a Scotland Bill ready by Burns Night. Who let this idiot loose? I really do dispair! FFS!
My own Zen-Presbyterian-Marxism is not intellectual; it just is. Shit Happens, Take What You Have And Give To The Poor, Workers Of The World Unite.
I, also, happen to think that - among fierce competition -Norman Tebbit is nearly the most malevolent Tory spiv of our time, some way behind Tony'n'Imelda but still in a barbarian league of his own.
Yes - we fire from different positons but at the same targets! Alas, but perhaps, it is as well that our bullets are only words.
I'm moving towards classical anarchism. On the whole, the state in its various manifestations has become an evil - more bad than good.
PS I now remember it was grocer Heath who finally convinced my Dad to switch sides. He referred to him contemtuously as "Grammar School". BTW I seem to remember my dad kept a 303 and ammunition box in the attic, in case the need arose. It may still be there?
It is all terribly surreal, mr mike, not only Snotty but the fact that the democratic process has been inverted, the losers in an election insisting that, actually, they are the winners and it is their demands to which we, the real winners, must accede. It used to be that the majority won, how did this shit happen?
I would stake my life on it that not one No voter in a thousand was influenced by vows or promises from LIBLABCON, we just didn't and never had wanted separation, so who gives a fuck, since we won, about holding people's feet to the fire horseshit bravado from a bunch of losers?
Snotty, though, is Labour's only hope, up here.
In what passes for his mind, I'm sure Mr Snot thinks he will be next PM. This is his big comeback. The frightening thing is, it could conceivably happen. Time to get in the lifeboats then.
Good - then they are doomed - but that leaves a vacuum that I would prefer that the SNP do not fill... As Lenin asked "what is to be done?"
Not inverted, Mr Ishmael, but certainly converted. There is no mandate for anything additonal. There was a vote and the winning side effectively said "Don't do anything new". There is an manufactured inference stalking the land - wlthoug I do not see or hear it - that the 55% only voted No because they were going to get DevoMcMax instead. This is bollocks. The legitimacy of the so-called promise made by the four horsemen is also a fiction. Fuck 'em, I'd say. And if they burn Glasgow down, well the rest of us will struggle along.
But is it just the usual balls-up? Cameron, having been fucked over by such a Machiavellian schemer as Clegg over the PR/boundaries deal maybe now thinks that skullduggery is fair game. And so it is in this case. Not being able to do in Labour by losing the Union - that being at the cost of his job - he has plotted a course to do them in in Scotland.
The timetable thing is interesting too. It cannot be done that fast, even with everyone trying. So having broken the mould by legislating for a fixed election date, there is now no reason why it cannot be broken again to put the election off for a year. Or two. Millibrat will have to stand in the way of agreement over the Devomax settlement, and he'll hang for it. He's lost Scotland to disarray for a generation or two whatever happens. And that's him toast.
It's what happens once you start playing fast and loose with the constitution. You end up with nowhere to hide - when the wind blows and the Devil turns, the laws being all flat. It is a dog's breakfast. Again. But Cameron wins and everybody else loses - except Fagash Nige, and who cares about him now? So maybe it is not all as chaotic as it appears. The BBC too now is stuck onside. Poor bastards - that must be scratchy.
So that's Dave's weekend sorted. Gove, too, just so happens to be Chief Whip when a chap needs one such with some Scottish steel in him. Does Dave gamble on the horses too, do you think?
It is a perfectly sound analysis, mr mongoose, this is good for Cameron in a conventional political landscape; this however, is anything but and the construction and the execution of the referendum, the amateurish chaos of its final week and now all this transparent politicking can only further exasperate an electorate contemptuous of all parties, add-in the likely massacre of the DogShooters, the rage of the Europhiles, the wild cardism of Fruitcake and BoJo, the possibilty of a Muslim war, ongoing Rotherhamism and almost anything could happen in a general election. Never been a better time for independent candidates.
Steeleye Span's archly slavish paean to grovelling, supplicant monarchism, their parody of the droning and dirgeing pipers, the caterwauling wife/widow, in fact their capture of the hideous, skriking, forever lamantatious grotesquery of Jock folk music, discordant and almost atonal, well, it's worth a round of applause, doncha think, mr mongoose, from any musicologist? Not as bad as Everly Brothers From Hell, the Proclaimers but certainly at their end of the pain spectrum.
Mr I: I thought the music and sound incidental to the words, quite clever, which seemed to plant a dirk in the heart of the erstwhile monarch. All show but fucked off when it started.
It has been a presence on my mental jukebox for ever, mr mike, not only for its lyrical intrigue, betrayal and melancholy - the essence of Scottish nationalism - but also for the chilly, metronomic, bitter reproof of its accompaniment. Every time I drive past Culloden, which is at least a dozen times a year, it self-selects in my head, jaundiced and reproachful; haunting, ironic, mysterious and vast. My heart is in the Highlands.
Back to the 'Stone Age' Mr I? No this is back to the Middle Ages. This referendum business had nothing to do with self-determination for the Scottish people. A good old fashioned attempt at a carve up by a powerful Baron subverting the democratic process was what it was. Power to the people? I don't think so. The Scottish people were duped alright but not by the four horsemen. They were duped into thinking that this was about them and their right to have a say in their own futures. I always think that one should look at what people do as well as what they say. Salmond has been busy creating a highly centralised command and control system, sucking in power from above and below - Police Scotland, a national fire service etc. Devolution - what devolution? Is a refrain I have heard from the lips of some local civic leaders in Scotland who can see what is really going on. Big government and big business is what its all about. Of course this just mirrors the process that has been going on across the UK since Thatcher era, if not before, and has merely diverted it to a new locus of power and accelerated it. This process will continue under Salmond's successors be they SNP or Labour.
The situation in England is a bit different I think, like in Scotland (where people were duped into believing that the SNP offered something different and better) many people are dissatisified with the MediaMinister system, a dissatisfaction that manifests itself, at least in part, in the rise of UKIP. But the real issue is that participation in the political process has fallen off a cliff - party memberships have collapsed and voting levels fallen to all time lows in most elections - far below those in comparable European countries. We have ceased to be active citizens and are now passive, if at times angry, consumers. Why? Because people feel that their vote makes no difference, and they are right in that of course. All important decisions are taken on high by the professional political class that has emerged over the last 20 years or so. What is to be done? Not revolution, but rather a root and branch reform that might come close to one in its effect. Nor recreating fantasy kingdoms on the old Anglo- Saxon model. What is needed is a dismantling of much of the apparatus of our centralised state and the redistribution of power down to the lowest levels to which it can be sensibly devolved. Then we would see a rise in participation in the polictical process, and indeed real citizen, rather than faux media, scrutiny of politicians. Simon Jenkins' 2004 paper on this subject offers useful food for thought on this (hat tip to Raedwald for reminding me of it in his post this morning):
http://www.localis.org.uk/images/articles/Nov%2004_Big%20Bang%20Localism.PDF
Chances of it happening? Fat chance I think - a few token changes maybe - we'll just have to 'keep buggering on' as best we can.
I could not bear, Mr I, to click the Span link for fear of what might happen to my ears. Like wee flowers in a storm they'd curl up and retreat into me heid, never to be seen again.
The only two real players in any General Election a while yet are the red and the blue. After the Coalition fiasco, we need not ever discuss the Shooters ever again. Cameron cannot be any less popular in Scotland so that does not matter even if he can't get their MPs coralled elsewhere. All he can do is play his opponents in England.
He is now standing there promising more power and leverage for English voters. And that is a fatal blow to Nigel and his cohort. They must now retreat back into their anti-EU box - about which we have opinions but about which not many really care. What can Milliwatt do? Acquiesece to the removal of his Scottish MPs or stand dishonourably in the way of freedom and fairness for the doughty but now English Bulldog. (Or he could bullshit and play for time.) It isn't pretty for the dullard and McDoom is stalking the burning McLand talking bollocks but nailing the timetable to St Andrews Day and Burns Night. These two dates being hard-coded into the Pictish soul, there'll be no trimming from here. Which was the plan. But not Milliband's.
The only part of the puzzle left undiscussed this week is the prospects for an EU referendum. Why has Nigel not been bleating? He has very sensibly kept pretty quiet. He eats the scraps still - as well he knows - and not the banquet. Is this EU Referendum promised for 2017, or is it promised for after the Election? Might it even be possible to scrape it all up into a sick-bowl of a Constitutional Settlement? A 21st Century Great Reform Act. Who will play Dave in the film? Yep, looks like a delayed Election to me. To give time... for fairness. For hard-working English families as well as for Scottish, for the many and not just the few.
There would be riots if the election were to be postponed, mr m, or at least a backbench mutiny, serial resignations and by-elections. Much as many old-fashioned conservatives despise Miliband Minor and Poor Nick, they loathe Dave, absolutely loathe him and the horse he rode in on, the way they loathed E Heath. I'm not a Farage fan in any way, and whenever Boris appears I hear the Benny Hill music in the background, but they will between them do for the apricot-faced twit if he tries to stay just a little bit longer, whatever the excuse.
Not sure the washer gobbed buffoon would want to postpone an election. Even if he loses no doubt his seats on the board at Google and Goldman Sachs are waiting. As his hero JugEars WarCriminal showed a few years in Westminster facilitating GlobaDosh are merely a notch on the CV before one becomes a fucking cab for hire.
Britain is a country soaked in socialism, an inverted sort where
the City, the dosh jugglers, banksters and other spivs and puffed up office clerks are the recipients of untold billions of entitlement handout benefits in privatisations, PFI, bailouts, Quantative Easing, low tax rates and many legal ways to dodge them: funded by us.
Facilitated by the otherwise unemployable knee pads shuffling Quisling teathanging clerks of Westminster/Whitehall.
You catholics, mr mongoose, what are you like, expecting to enjoy everything? The Steeleye Span track is instructional not pleasureable, Maddy Prior able to uniquely voice both the pieties and resentments which litter our sung landscape from the Clearances through John Bunyan to the unspeakable Billy Bragg, the working man's hypocrite. She is better among the Carnival Band and the various SS ensembles are mostly a turgid bunch, endlessly aping Maestro Thompson's Fairport Convention but there is the odd gem, Rave On, All Around My Hat and Gaudete being creditable efforts. Prince Charlie Stewart is a rare thing, faithful and revealing, you don't have to like it to learn from it. Trust me, I'm the only living boy in Orkney.
Looks as though we need riots in Scotland, mrs narcolept, Salmond declaring non-teenage No voters as too old to know what they are doing and threatening UDI. It is an opportunity to wipe them out at the polls,the tribesmen, not before time.
I believe MediaMinster quite capable of declaring any sort of national emergeny in order to suspend such feeble democracy as we are allowed, ISIL, Scotland, Russia, nig-nogs generally; war, terror, financial collapse, we are groomed, are we not, to believe anything?
BoJo and Fruitcake are of course wild cards but they could be brought into line with bribes and promises and blackmail; it worked for ten years with NewLabour, after all.
I think Cameron, for all hs vileness, mr yardarm, is fashioned from different material to JugEars, I don't think that he and the Mrs NEED money in the desperate, pathetic way of Tony'n'Imelda, a cottaging conman and a gobby, scouse scrubber. I think Dave would do anything to stay in Downing Street and the more exceptional and dramatic the means, the more Winstonian, the better.
Your first paragraph, mr sg, is about to become very clear to many hitherto patient ordinary people in Scotland, as the fat man throws his toys out. Declaring UDI? Man's a nutcase.
I think as per some one earlier said - we're on business as usual territory now. Miliminor's headline grabbing pre-election policy of raising the minimum wage under inflationary levels - well, fuck me Mr Ambassador - you are truly fucking spoiling us with such irrelevant largesse when the reduction in working tax credits will make fuck all difference to anyone, at all, ever.
I totally agree with Mrs Narcolept that the venal hatred for Cameron amongst us Tory types is of visceral tangibility and the refrain bandied about internally that 'you're wasting UKIPs vote' may be held as comedic now but one feels that the 10-15% the Faragists get will be significant. Whilst Farage is no doubt opportunistic he has at least spoken out of the Rotherham tip of the Titanic iceberg - so cowed, so timourous of offending people have our masters become that even paedos are given a mere Chilcotting for their misadventures. In the Daily Jihad the other day was mention of some 60 bed hotel populated with 600+ immigrants as if these are normal events - in other news, look, look over there - Kate's having a baby, ahhhh!
It used to be the case i'm sure, that people didn't necessarily vote for the party they wanted but simply voted so the other cunt didn't get in - well, when they're all cunts - what difference does it make - fucked every way so, geez, abstention looks in someway a venerable cast.
I agree with SG and wish I could express my sentiments as clearly. What I have seen of socialism in my lifetime has left me opposed to it. It certainly appeals to the young and inexperienced. Has it not been said that the man who was not a socialist in his youth lacked heart and the man in his maturity who was not a conservative lacked a brain?
Contrary to what the majority of writers say I am supporting UKIP as none of the 3 traditional parties are fit for purpose.
Thanks, mr dick, I was just thinking the same about the minimum wage satire; he really is good for fuck all, how does MediaMinster get away with calling him Red Ed, feudal purple, maybe. Why don't you stand as an Independent Tory, I'll write you some speeches; Tories loved my friend, stanislav.
Yeah, we used to have a priest like you, Mr I. Redemption through suffering was his gig - Kilgarriff's sidekick, name forgotten. We hanged him in chains up the Burnaby Road, or we should have done. Maddy P is alright though.
UDI? I knew we were in for some early panto this year. A raising of the clans, that's what we need.
Mr RR: were I in a position to vote, I too would go for UKIP. Having read that Labour will not support home rule for England (which was obvious from the start), and Dave having neither the principle nor balls to achieve anything as he takes dictation from Mr Snot, I expect a massive backlash next year when the powers handed unilaterally to Scotland are announced, and the costs revealed.
Nige is rightly keeping his powder dry, but when all becomes clear this will be a big win for UKIP. And the timing leading upto May couldn't be worse for LIBLABCON. This may not be a new dawn, but there must be another way.
Salmond seems to have gone mad. His declaration of UDI will do lasting damage to Scotland - who would now invest there, and what would the risk premium be?
What the fuck?
Salmond has declared UDI? Where is this being reported?
Mr jgm2: try this
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/scottish-independence/11111705/Alex-Salmond-says-No-voters-were-tricked.html
But, mr rr, as mr bungalow bill notes, so many of the failures attributed to UK labour are actually those of rapacious, misguided, stupid and cruel Thatcherism, and if I accept your dictum about maturity leaning towards conservatism I would also suggest that absolute maturity is denoted by arrival at the point of abstention, in the country of NOTA, none of the above. I understand the attraction of UKIP, who couldn't, and I was cheering-on the Scootish UKIP MEP, the other night but I wish them -and thus you - only enough success as is necessary to upset those welded to the Great Latrine of State, busily shitting on us.
Let us refine the young man's journey so often depicted as inevitably to Damascene Toryism and have him arrive at the wisdom of observing that those who seek the job are the very last to whom it should be given.
SUNDAY FILTH-O-GRAPH, mr jgm2, not him personally but his cocksucker pursuivant couchant, Jim Sillars, he of the hit-list.
Thank you Mr Mike.
I just read the commentary. I can't bear to listen to the c*unt. Another Little Scotlander with his rrrrrhotic 'r's in love with the sound of his own voice.
I often wondered if it was some English kid who took the piss out of him at school that so set him against the English. Although, in Fucking Scotland, there's many of them have never met an Englishman and still hate them. Then today I found this...
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29219165
"I had a blazing row with a [Labour-supporting] girlfriend from Hackney and she said 'if you feel like that - go and join the bloody SNP', so I did,"
There you go. Fucking Scotland's destiny in the hands of a teenage lover's tiff.
UDI? Still time to make good your escape MrI.
Aye, we'd have won if it wasn't for all the old people voting against us. And all the English people. And all the other people. If we could just remove all the people who voted against us then we'd have got 100% of the votes. Which would be fair.
I always thought he was a canny operator but it sounds as though he's completely lost the plot.
By investors, mr mike, we must include, also, individuals and families considering relocating North and buying a home; they won't and aren't. Three salaries'n'pensions Fatso Salmond has declared war on mature people, his own age, he'd better watch out.
In all our years together, mr mongoose, that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me. But it's not redemption I offer you, just musical fucking appreciation. You'll thank me, one day. You never know what you got til it's gone.
I think panto is about right, panto-noir.
Something very odd about Salmond, eh, mr jgm2. Each must marry whom he chooses but Salmond's childless marriage to an old lady is, what, eccentric? His self-love is clear to any who watch him, maybe, in a maternal way, she feeds his narcissism, calling him Mummy's Clever Boy, sicko stuff like that. Make the blood run cold. And now he usurps the voice of a generation in which he has no stake, he'd better watch out.
It will be interesting, MrI, to see how he chooses to punish the elderly. perhaps he will find he can no longer afford their free residential care in Fucking Scotland. Preferring instead to offer student grants to the young. And free school meals, holidays in Disneyland etc etc for the poor children of Glasgow.
It's a question, you see, of priorities about how we allocate the extra £1300 a year per head that London sends us. And, just as the 16-18 year olds must be given the vote not, you understand, because they think Braveheart is a documentary but because they, with longer to live have the biggest stake in the outcome (that was, seriously, their justification for giving kids the vote) then it makes sense to extend the franchise to 4 - since they can make a 'X' same as anybody else.
Ha ha - Stanislav on the Stump - that would be worth the entrance fee! I'm not sure pissing myself laughing or crying like a little kid would go down well with the punters but those being God's honest Yorkshire folk in Methodist land would enjoy the satire dressed as bombast - we've grown accustomed to the bombast but unfortunately the comedy has been absent of late though the piss takes keep on coming.
I'm not sure there's any such thing as an independent Tory - from experience, travelling in packs is the only way they retain the illusion of credibility. Cliques within cliques and all that. That's why localism scares me, at least if they're all together you kinda hope the civil service kicks in but give them local government officers and we'd be fucked by Tuesday - no one would have a frikking clue about anything.
Stanislav on the hustings would be ace though :-)
Western Islanders, mr jgm 2, being SNP voters, have their ferry charges set at Road Mile Equivalent, much cheaper; in Orkney, which is radical fundamentalist DogShooter territory but equally in the sea, we pay the full whack. The Western Isles also return a Tribesman MP. Alec and Nicky, therefore, felt they had bribed their ain folk into voting YES. They voted No.
There won't be any independent Tories, mr dick, until there are. Now is the time for local independents,
I have friends who live in Lewis. Lewis or whatever they call it Gaelic, no doubt at the behest of their MP, is the Rotten Borough of our day. A total electorate of ~ 20,000 or so. The SNP chap wins with around 6,000 votes. You'd lose your deposit on the Isle of Wight with 6,000 votes.
But the Dog-shooters, as you call them, were happy to turn a blind eye to that democratic deficit because, I'm guessing, your constituency has very little more constituents than Lewis. And you have a Liberal MP.
The problem will be that the Little Scotlanders have one party to vote for whereas the Unionist parties have three or more to choose from. Far from being wiped out, the SNP will clean up in 2015. 45% of the vote will trump in all but, perhaps, the Maximum Imbecile's constituency. And even there he might come under pressure.
Yes I was interested to see that the Highlands and Islands said 'No'. Ha! That must have hurt the fucking 'Bravehearters'. Borders and D & G, my ancesteral homeland, 2/3 against like the Northern Isles folks. I was up there a couple of weeks back - visiting the ancestral graves (fine old red sandstone ones - though in need of some TLC due to effects of water infiltration) - you'd never have known there was a referendum on - just one 'No Thanks' banner sighted in a farmer's field.
Was it in Dylan's 'Chronicles' (not a bad read) that I seem to remember how young Bob turned up at the late Guthrie's house to collect a pile of unpublished songs, only to chicken out at the door and retreat, sodden with snow and slush? And who should get his greasy mitts on them much later but the aforementioned Billy Bragg? I have both CDs. They are irredeemably bad; quite vile in fact. There may be gold amongst the songs but Billy does his reverse Midas mullering and is not, as ever, to be out-cunted.
I agree about the nonsensical size of constituency but I differ, otherwise, the unionist vote will be so anxious to ditch the SNP that it will coalesce around whichever party will do that. We have form on that; I voted SNP, just to be rid of Jock Labour and so did many others, that will happen in reverse, Snotty is more popular here than you think. Salmond had better watch out.
Yes, that's right, mr mirage, it was one of Guthrie's daughters, I recall, who oversaw the project and it was fucking awful, I never fully warmed to Woody's hobo schtick although I like some of the songs; Bragg, though, contemptible.
en passant, no flesh has passed my lips since last we spoke, thanks.
I just loved it when UKIP took that sixth seat in the old Euro-millions election whotsit. It gave me cause to reconsider, just for a moment, my atheism. After the way Farage was treated when he had the temerity to pay the Tribesmen a visit. Whatever he is and has done he did not deserve that. I don't recall Salmond receiving anything worse than a polite reception when he has ventured south (as it were...).
You're quite right, Mr I. It's been a long week and Steeleye Span would tip any man over the edge into tonto mongrellism. Even the thought thereof! But it's the message that we should be stringing up and not the messenger. (Kemp, BTW, was that bastard priest's name. He was a St Osburg's man, I think.)
And speaking of stringing up, I have just read the latest piece of lunacy from Wee Eck that we are to "beware the wrath of the No voter". By God, yes, it strikes terror into me, so it does. These are the same folk, that were wrinklies, derided as yesterday's warriors not three hours ago. UDI, eh? The Peoples Republic of Glasgow. A City State on the Clyde.
Dear oh dear. It's a dark, dark comedy. Farce not 72 hours yet from the polls closing. Let us hope for no turning to tragedy for it won't be Fat Alex with his head cracked by the paras.
UDI? Now if Mr Salmond were Mr Smith, with the Rhodesian Light Infantry at his disposal, rather than a few thugs in kilts and woad, we might take him seriously. However, as I recall, Mr Smith was a quiet man not given to bombast (I think I was dicussing Mr Smith with Mr Mike somewhere back up the road just now...). Therefore we need not take Mr Salmond's declarations seriously.
Mr SG: don't discount Salmond being mad. If you read his words, he is saying that if SNP win a majority at the next GE then its a mandate for UDI.
PS check out the Selous Scouts; if it wasn't for outside interference, Smith would have won.
Ah, now you mention it mrI " ...in the country of NOTA, none of the above..."
Check this out for an alternative, if you would http://www.no-ta.org.uk/
One English pound membership fee, whats not to like?
I think Salmon will shortly disappear from the scene completely.
I am happy for you in your revisiting of a meat-free diet Mr. I. It helps unravel several karmic kinks. For me, it's karma to korma via Quorn, or Soylent Beige as it's known to us cynics.
I enjoyed the recent to-ing and fro-ing with regards to Bob D. I gave up on him musically around the time of 'Desire' and 'Slow Train-crash Coming' (tangled up in Jew...?) though the sparks later between him and Danny Lanois were mildly interesting.
I think Mr. Harper is soon to be tossed to the posse as yet another desperate diversion. Personally, whenever I hear 'Forbidden Fruit' I do not think for an instant that the fondler was meant to be anything but a schoolboy himself. Otherwise it is pretty damning, and will be construed as such by some. Rolf deserved to be banged up for crimes against music; I'd rather those sweaty Pecksniffian fingers (with their doctrinaire effuse) left our Roy alone!
In history one of the questions sometimes asked is where Thomas Cromwell got his blueprint for moving piles of independent monastic money in to Henry VIII's hands. Answer: it was Cardinal Wolsey who developed the knack of swinging donations, wills, chantries etc in to his own pet project - not a bad one, a college - in Ipswich. All that is left is brick-built gateway.
Just so now. It is Cameron who has taught Salmond that It Isn't Over. In 2005 traditionalists did a deal to drop their opposition to Civil Partnerships. They were promised that if they played nicely, that would be the end of it. Oh no, scoffed assorted Labour worthies, we are not trying to change the definition of marriage.
Then, just a few hours ago, Ed Balls got up to brag about how they had got SSM through, a done-deal with Cameron, who produced this policy with no manifesto commitment and in the teeth of the opposition of millions, and no referendum to say if people wanted to change the definition of a foundational legal status. Even the ECtHR was not so arrogant and ducked out of that one - which was a disappointment because they had all been counting on the ECtHR to force it through.
There is nothing impossible about UDI. Not because the people want it, but because Cameron has taught Salmond that you can get it, if you really want. Sorry Mr Ishmael, but I would make a back-up plan, just in case it goes all Mugabe up there.
I don't think we've heard the last of him Mr Alphons - alas! Though it sounds as though he will be busy with his 'hundred days' book for a while - doubtless an advance from a publisher will have already been secured. Then there will be the chat show appearances, 'lectures' etc. Is he not the new 'Braveheart'? Maybe he could join 'Team Blair' advising third world dictators on how to deal with troublesome secessionist movements - who better than a poacher turned gamekeeper (now there's an idea Alec...)?
I saw his first tour, mr mirage, supporting Pentangle and have always liked his early stuff, McGoohan's Blues, She's the One, Tom Tiddler's, Old Cricketer but he lost me after that, rather like John Martyn with his Echoplex, 'sonly so much can be done with an acoustic guitar. I had't heard about any beasting allegations but he certainly kept bad company, Page and his chums, shoulda been in jail years ago, instead of bragging about how many heads of celery they could insert in teenagers, fuckpigs. And that's not to mention the industrial-scale plagiarism of their entire output. I am sure that many of our national rolling and beatling treasures are as bad, infinitely worse, in fact, than Rolf Harris but to prove so would tear down the Temple of Celebrity and nobody wants that, not for Sir Mick or Sir Paul, such fools we would look.
Good As I've Been To You and World Gone Wrong were interesting turn-of-the-millenium albums but probably only because they contained no Bob Dylan songs, of which the world has more than enough. A more modest man would have pursued his painting, not himself. Glad to see you're still alive, mr mirage.
Plus a wee bit of torture, terrorism and murder, mrs woar, in the Tower and sundry other dungeons, Cromwell and his Guvnor, 'Enery.
I was in and out of the room for Eddy's speech and my sense of it was that he was a desperate loony performing for a bunch of nitwits. I had earlier seen a couple of minutes of some bombastic Welsh git, Owen somethng, and decided that this was one conference heading for cataclysm; I vaguely heard that Mekon bloke, is it ChumbaWumba, and despaired, but not really because, as I said some weeks back, Miliband and his Ordinary People schtick, that's more than one should even attempt to bear. Fuck 'em, New Labour, all of them, fancy, even Mr Snot put them to shame last week.
It is a canny comparison, buggermarriage and UDI, but I do believe that Uncle Sam would have stern words to say about UDI and his Scottish nukes, as would the Oilsters, the Banksters and the Filthsters in MediaMinster and, like mr alphons, I do believe nationalism a busted flush, the young will peel off and fools such as I will harden against it, Salmond looks old and bitter and none of his neophytes have even his dodgy, smirking, bulbous charisma. Europe will never endorse, approve or permit McKiev. And nor would anyone. But who can see in the eyes of fate, as Scotland's everbest have it, all life alone in it's chronic pattern.......I know nothing and know that I know nothing
Sorry Mr I, but another of those "off topic" moments... I see the PBC is apologising for failing to adequately airbrush someone out of history:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-29308337
Airing old episodes of "Top of the Pops" is creepy enough (do they really think it counts as entertainment these days?). Of course, if they really did the job properly we'd probably be staring at a blank screen for 30 minutes (no bad thing maybe).
Perhaps we could now have re-runs of The World at War minus Hitler, Stalin, Himmler, Mengele et al...
P.S. 'elf & safety' warning if you can be arsed to follow the link. That's one of the scariest pictures I've seen of him. Really put the hook in me....
Forget Private Eye, Viz, or writing your own satire Mr I - its right fucking here - truly you couldn't fucking make it up:
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-29310512
A brief extract:
"Mr Milliband is expected to outline money-saving measures to show he can build a "world class country" with no extra money.
What the fuck are they on?
Not just the PBC, mr sg, the 'papers are full of it, too; reporting the most embarrassing conference, even in Labour's history, as though it had value or meaning or even purpose; as though they were not all thieves, beasts, murderers, ponces and impostors; may Satan take a Forstner bit to Neil Kinnock's arsehole.
"Forstner bit" - had to look that up; worth the effort.
Surely was an ugly sight, Mr I. Ed Balls even had the good grace to find his words a bit chewy. It will take nerves of steel to get through Millibug's speech without a sick bucket.
What do we think now of the denial of Devomax on the ballot paper? Everyone held its hostage now save McDave. All of them. Not a man left standing.
Poor Old Nige is even reduced to a pretence of scrapping IHT come his Reich. Dear oh dear. At this rate, Dave will have the Taffs onside tomorrow.
Perhaps the artist formerly known as Tony will arrive and make an impromtu speech, calling for war, as a means to peace.
What's IHT, mr nmongoose?
" SG said...
I don't think we've heard the last of him Mr Alphons - alas! "
I was not expecting him to disappear voluntarily Mr SG !!
He certainly looks ill and sounds unhinged, mr alphons; perhaps a Dr David Kelly moment will overtake him; the cousins won't like the thought of UDI around their nukes in Faslane and might send him an exploding haggis. No, seriously, they've killed people for much less reason. He'd better watch out.
It does seem to me that the whole stinking pile of shit (aka Government) is exploding to the four corners. Never in my life - and I've been close to it and watched it - have I ever seen such a complete fuck up.
Anything is possible now. If the Ruperts had the balls, now would be a good time for a coup.
Sorry, Mr I. IHT = Inheritance Tax. Nigel has to have clear blue water between himself and the Tories or the game is up. In the same way, Milliweed is now prattling about Mansion Taxes - the better to woo the last four LibDem voters in the kingdom. Although I doubt that those last, doughty four would support that idea first or last.
Now that the EU is not the most serious carve-up in town, UKIP is stuffed for leverage. Even if as English Nationalism Lite it is a real force of ideas it is if not one of politics yet. Millions of people have sympathy with the basic idea even if they have yet to get round to voting for them. Unfortunately UKIP cannot harden the brand without watering the milk.
If I was Nigel I'd be testing out the sound of the Conervative and Independent Unionist Party. Home Secretary and all the perks - at least for a while. A political pact to start with, to get through the Parliament from 2015 - or whenever the election turns up - will leave the Dogshooters still dead, Labour back to internal purges and the ground free for a right-of-centre majority. Coming to a life like yours: Coalition 2 - the Dog Years.
I think the Ruperts are enchanted by the possibilities of baubles and rank in Ukraine or the Levant, mr mike but I know exactly what you mean, it has seldome been more chaotic, more dangerous. I have the Labour conference on in the background and its like Children's TeeVee, by children, for children.
Sounds right, mr mongoose, mr fruitcake as home seckatry; Dogshooters shot and Labour justly hoist by its own petard, left hanging, carrion, in the breeze. Just seen Caroline Crack on the telly; have they no idea how many people she alienates, just by opening her gob? And there seems to be an an endless regiment of tongue-tied, passionless wannabes, good for fuck all, mouthing soundbites that you'd spit out.
Conservative and Independent Unionist Party, sounds good. it would serve us all right.
MrI
' And there seems to be an an endless regiment of tongue-tied, passionless wannabes, good for fuck all,'
What is it with all these adults who are unable to read? I fucking hate weddings. I like a free piss-up but I fucking hate weddings because of the speeches. All these folk who can't read a Janet and John book aloud standing up there with a sheaf of A4 that they feel they have to plough through.
If I couldn't read I'd stand up there and say 'I'd like to thank the bridesmaids (don' they look lovely - pause for applause), the bride and grooms parents who have ponied up for this gig (pause for applause)and all you friends and family who have travelled from near and far. And now a toast to the happy couple....'
But No. we have to sit through 20 minutes of nervous, inarticulate, poorly timed 'comedy'. I make my excuses and go to the bog for the speeches. Just spend half an hour or an hour wandering the grounds.
These c*unts are the same. How anybody can sit through these toe-curling, monotone, splutterers and mumblers without dying of embarrassment is a mystery to me.
I cannot hear the message (although I'm sure it's utter horseshit). All I hear is the shocking delivery. It would be like finding Shakespeare written on a turd. It's unlikely to be there. But you're not even going look for it.
I wish he would stop addressing the audience as Friends. It makes him sound like Hughie Green.
It's the Ordinary People, that's what gets me, he is as woefully ordinary himself as one can be whilst still alive; who does he think he's talking to? Actually, I'd rather watch executions than Miliband, less degrading.
It is, coincidentally, of weddings we speak, in a little while, just up the road, mr jgm2 but yes, none at Manchester can speak, it is an exercise in mass self-hypnosis that any applaud, even for a second.
Hopefully the Ruperts won`t think of going into the Ukraine: Bad Vlad might smack their bums and send them home. Better stick to throwing sandbags around on the Somerset Levels.
Conferences are just an opportunity for Big Money to get in there and start buying up MPs and the Party in question. Some card carrying members will be bussed in to clap on cue while some berk burbles some load of old bullshit. Then the serious business of corporate fellatio commences. The clerk rubbish are purchased and the paymasters will be done.
No need for the Ruperts to go into Ukraine. Things are getting badder for Bad Vlad without any need for interventions from Western militaries. Falling oil prices, and a shrinking population (apart from the muslims). He's a very clever tactician and can outwit our lot in the short term but the strategic picture looks bleak for him and Mother Russia.
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