Wednesday, 5 March 2014



Stacey Bradbury, a loonymum,  tells the BBC she is "disgusted and shocked" that "my son had to sit there quietly and have Sellotape put over his mouth" Get over yourself, you silly cow. Teach the little bastard to shut his worthless gob when teacher is talking.  Blackboard rubber aimed at the head's what we got

You have to laugh at  this story. Seems a teacher in a Somerset academy school, 

driven barmy  by  a classful of darling little fuckpigs took to Sellotaping their vile  mouths shut.

I was married once to a primary school teacher and her first appointment was as a temporary replacement for a teacher taunted and bullied into nervous breakdown by the bad behaviour of her class;  this was in the nineteen-seventies,  before all children were spoiled, over-indulged, unwaged consumers, as they now are,  wretched little mutant creeps, a-texting and a-twittering their meaningless lives away; it was before the Blair phantasmagoria that all were university-bound; before A levels and degrees were worthless; this was when teachers knew that hopefully is an adverb, absolutely an adjective; it was, in short, the fag-end of a brief time when there was a compact between  the teacher and - via parents - the taught,  and this level of classroom mayhem was a relatively rare occurrence. 

 Why anyone, any adult  of sound mind would want to enter a clasroom full of  today's stupid luvem2bits little bastards is quite beyond me;  better to join the army and risk having your legs blown-off than confront, daily, the spawn of Ruin's monstrous, ignoramus legions.

Here's one, look, he's not in his right mind,
you can see it in his eyes. 
Mad as a fucking hatter.

Academy head, Mr Ian Gob, a management-speak basket case, said he was grateful that this had been brought to his attention, would do anything in his power blah blah blah, learn lessons, and move forward blah blah blah...

 Sometimes, down at Tesco, the cashier - is she a cashier? isn't that too grand a title for what she does? - asks me if I'm collecting this or that voucher to help the local schools, with computers or something.  No, thanks, don't like children. 

 I always want to add, I might not like 'em but, probably quicker than you, I'd run into a burning building to save one. I'd relinquish my place in the lifeboat quicker than any of the officers or the ship's owners.   I feel  the genetic imperative, to nurture and protect them, it's just that I don't like them,  they're not very nice, because their parents aren't very nice.  No law says I gotta like other people's children.  I don't even like our own. And as for Mr Oh, he's not just my son, he's my best friend, well, I think he's  creepy,  aberrant, needs a punch in the throat, should have his children taken into care, have them looked after by people with best friends their own age.

 Best just whisper it, though, else
Mr Oh, he's not just my son, he's my best friend will freak-out and withdraw best-friend-son Thomas from his Montesorri nursery and best-friend-William from his Steiner school.


We are joined now from the ailing Filth-O-Graph by professional  pushy parent, show-off,  Michael Gove arsewipe and all around knobhead, Mr Toby Foreskin.

What, she did what? I am apoplectic, incandwossaname with rage, look I am so incensed that all my hair has fallen out. And my clothes.  This slutty French trollop just proves that what this country needs is for the Michael Gove revolution to consume the entire nation, with me as his aide de camp.

le famille Foreskin.  
No,my wonderful little darlings,
Papa often poses with a book over his cheesy knob.
It's what we call clever.

Let's be clear. Special people, such as me,  produce special children and they need very special teachers in very special schools, teaching them, well, specially. Otherwise they will grow up to be complete cunts, like Papa, ie me.

No. What this so-called teacher did was unforgiveable  unless her pupils were common people, in which case, let's be clear, who gives a fuck?


Alphons said...

It is folly to "give" people rights and/or money.
Rights should, like money, be earned, otherwise both will be squandered.

mrs narcolept said...

Sellotape, though. They can't have been that badly-behaved, or even upset, if they sat there and let her apply it.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, that's right, mrs n, sounds like a cultural eccentricity, idiosyncracy maybe, the teacher is European; and certainly the little angel in the shared photo doesn't exactly look as though he staggered in late from Benefits Street. My sympathy, regardless, remains with the teacher.

Dunno about rights being given or earned, my understanding is that a right is something which may not be, like a privilege, withdrawn; a right is something which we, since the time of Magna Carta, have taken from them; I do agree, though, mr alphons, as a general principle, that nothing ain't worth nothing when it's free and I would rather that people rioted than tolerated the existence of foodbanks; charity wallahs, as ever, holding Villainy's coat.

yardarm said...

Gove is so far up Cameron`s arse you can hardly see the soles of Toby Youngs shoes. He`s already one of these mediaminster virtual politicians, finger wagging, social climbing, never a days work done in his existence, gagging for a peerage which he`ll probably get.

call me ishmael said...

He is an insufferable prick, Toby Foreskin, a member of that grimy wrecking crew run by the Bullingdon boys - thieves, pimps, and druggies.

His Ma worked for the PBC and he's been down the Fulbright scholar route so he's in the same charmed circle of celebrity as the rest of them, the PBC and the 'papers will always find room for one of their own. We need a special wall to put the likes of Young up against; the Virual Politicians Shooting Range, perhaps.

Alphons said...

"We need a special wall to put the likes of Young up against; the Virual Politicians Shooting Range, perhaps."
It would be too quick an exit for many of them.
I spent much of my working life as a Quality Control manager in a big Multinational and my position was always that it is better to produce nothing than than to produce rubbish and then have to scrap it.

call me ishmael said...

It takes a special individual, mr alphons, to prompt me to consider torture. Most of the Iraq Occupation conspirators I would simply jail.

Blair, Straw, Campbell and that arse from JIS, John Scarlett, well, I think hanging would be just and time-appropriate, plenty of time for personal agony between sentence and drop.

Young and his ilk, I think a lengthy period of silent hard labour might improve him. And if it didn't Up against the wall, motherfukcer is always an option.

yardarm said...

Even the mention of an honest days work would make Young use his trousers as a toilet in terror. His transformation from minor media buffoon into next Minister of State for Education is Ruin made manifest. Probably replace Laws when the Toiletshooters are fucked off at the election.

Referring to the previous thread, yes, wouldn`t surprise me at all if Brooks and Coulson ended up walking; high fiving and blowing farts on the steps of the Shithouse of Justice. After all if they start to squeal when inside, who knows what might emerge. When the expenses scandal broke I was slavering at the thought of MPs hauled off sobbing to chokey, whimpering down the Job Centre. As if. I should know better by now.

call me ishmael said...

Tobes certainly gets lots of exposure - as well as his coquettish selfies, the tart - as though he was being groomed for an A-list selection panel. Perhaps Julie Burchill will reveal all she knows about him; maybe he eats shit, I wouldn't be surprised.

It will be a very pleasant surprise if the Witch of the Cotswolds does time. I think these things are staged to make us think - Look, she was tried and acquitted by her peers, - well, not her peers, your peers - and they found her innocent, End-Of.

The only thing which might go against her is that she's common as muck. And I'm sure that that ginger mop will irritate the life out of those seeing it every day. But even so, I'm sure it'll all be arranged for the best in the best of all possible skymadeupnewsandfilth worlds. That Fatboy Staines, of the PizzaHouseOfBlood, is he still working for the Sun? Wonder if he'll have his precious daughters on page three, the cunt.

Alphons said...

When I wrote " position was always that it is better to produce nothing than than to produce rubbish and then have to scrap it".Mr Ishmael, I had in mind that we have produced politicians shit politicians in this country, and accepted them, for years. We then have the trouble of disposing/unseating them, so that we can elect another bunch of parasitic idiots.
We would be much better off without them at all.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, a senate drawn from the electoral rolls, advised by a wised-up civil service, members serving only five years at an average salary, that'd do, couldn't be any worse. Fuck all this nineteenth century party political nonsense.

Woman on a Raft said...

It is just as well you captioned that photo. I mistook it for Willum Hague, until I looked closely at the ears.

Hague's ears are becoming strangely Vulcan, only without the intelligence.