Tuesday, 4 March 2014



 First of all, I would like to thank my parents and the great team I have around me and whilst I acknowledge that I did shoot wotsername it was only because she was playing-up; acting like a bleck, she was, a proper Kaffir.  I ask you, your ladyship and members of the jury, what would you have done?  I mean, there I was, a no-legged, millionaire Olympic legend and the bitch was giving me lip.  I ask you, which of you wouldn't shoot an uppity bleck, it's the only language they understand. I mean, if you gotta gun or two you're gonna kill some bitch sooner or later, otherwise what's the point of having them?  And I am only on trial here today because the alleged victim was white.  Just close your eyes and imagine she was black and you must acquit me.  Nelson Mandela?  Yes, a great inspiration to us all. What?  Bleck, was he?  Fuck me, your ladyship,  I never knew that;  always acted like a white celebrity, he did.     

 No, I just like my guns, that's all, bigger the fucking better, that's right. Athletes? Salt of the Earth.

I know, I know, it's legal  to own and shoot guns in SA, doesn't mean he murdered  his totty.  

Next week: Oscar OJ Simpson, no, no,  sorry he's in jail.


Anonymous said...

Maybe, it's possible he was convinced his missis was elsewhere and there was a Kaffir in his bog, Dangerous place since Mandela made it (or presided over it's becoming) the murder capital of the world. Could have been an accident; some guy in US shot his daughter who was hiding in a wardrobe to play a joke by leaping out. Could be manslaugher, though, but it's up to the jury.

call me ishmael said...

You are correct, mr anonymous, I do take liberties with the principle of innocent until proven guilty but I am fairly sure that I called the Philpott case long before skymadeupnewsandfilth did and there will be others that I am too tired to trawl for at this time of night. Whatever the truth of his shooting spree, its intent, certainly, was more murderous than defensive. We shall see.

Alphons said...

I think that some times people who are "on a high" due to misguided public acclaim think they are above the law, and can do what ever they think fit.
I have in mind some of our jumped up Prime ministers and their chums.

call me ishmael said...

And then, mr alphons, there is the virtually larcenous conduct which goes with public acclaim - all these Olympian arseholes who endorse whichever product will pay them a few quid, some fucking boneheaded runner or jumper or cyclist cashing-in, when all along they claimed they were just doing it to honour their country. Shitheads, professional athletes, no business like showbusiness.