Wednesday 30 November 2016

BIRTH OF A POUNDLAND STATESMAN.


 
 Nonces? 
 I'll fuckin' hang the bastards.
The state 'avin the power to kill its citizens, 
it's like the 'allmark of democracy.
Stranglin' people at eight o'clock in the mornin'.
 It's what sets us apart from the animals. 
And other foreigners. 

And so Mr Paul Scouse-Nutter set out his plan for government. Capital punishment for tabloid-driven  popular causes.
And the smack of firm leadership.

An' any fuckin' bastard what disagrees with me, like, well they can sling their fuckin' hook, big time.
 
 'Sno room in my UKIP for any fuckin' scally what doesn't do worrIsay. 

 Nor what Nigel says, cos, lessfaceit, at the end of the day, without Nigel, I wooden even be the great statesman worrIam today.
An' just to prove, like, that I'm not a bleedin' no-mark on the make, ridin' a wave of discontent,  'ere's me,' 'oldin a buke, a real bleedin' buke, like, 
what statesmen and them 'uns read.

Gosh, what a disappointment. 
 Four million people voted Poundland and yet only thirty thousand are party members, and of them only half could be arsed to vote in the leadership election,
 The hard man, Nuttall, then, was elected with less than ten thousand votes. More than Mrs Askey reeived in the great prime ministerial Remainers' stitch-up but not signifying the herald horns of a New Populist Dawn.

They all do it, exaggerate their own importance, the inconsequential Susan Farron, 
 leader of seven discredited  Liberal Child Molesters, 
 believes himself leader of the official opposition;  
fifty-odd hate-filled Jock shoplifters, drunks and degenerates 


believe themselves to be the official opposition and the official opposition itself


 hates its democratically elected leadership, longs to join the Tory Govament of National Remaining Unity 

 
and despises both its own membership as well as half of the UK and US populations.

Mr Nuttal, therefore, shooting his neanderthal mouth off, is an unsurprising consequence of MediaMinster's consistently contemptuous, corrupt and wholly anti-democratic conduct, 

  
Nuttall,  a stuttering, thinly mandated vox-pop,
 is their own creation. 

No, no, listen, because this is very important, no, no, let me finish, because I am speaking for decent people everywhere when I say that Brexit reveals the nation to be no more than bigots and racists and  transphobic xenophobes, especially those former Labour voters who voted for fascism. 
And that is why we must have massive immigration, in order that we swiftly replace worthless so-called Labour Britons with grateful foreigners who will vote as they are told, by their betters.  Yes, if you will, by people like me.

Abbott or Nuttall,
two cheeks of Ambition's scabby arse.

My own belief is that UKIP - and unltimately the nation - would have been better served by either of the other two leadership candidates, both of whom would have  greatly broadened its appeal  and more adroitly surfed the global wave of  resentment; as it is Dog will still have his day, some Labour seats will fall to the Poundlanders but then given the state of things they would fall to my dog, Harris,  were he to stand.
Any meaningful UKIP presence in Parliament will depend on how much of an act of Brexit betrayal Mrs Askey feels able to commit.   Thus far Tracey looks neither well nor capable;  too skinny, too uncertaim for the high-heeled tightrope walk she has chosen.

The only certainty is uncertaintly; globalisation has taken on a whole new meaning, the futures of many so-called democracies now linked more tightly to the actions of formerly risible politicians like le Pen, Trump and Farage than ever they were to  mere sticky-fingered Commerce.


42 comments:

Anonymous said...

That's a very slim volume he's holding. Did the set-dresser for his biblio-portrait furnish him with a buke of peaums?

v.//

callmeishmael said...

At least it's not Mein Scouse Kampf, mr verge. Indon't know much about him, except that he's always struck me as a wrong 'un, even by the standards of politicians. Too much monkey business here, by far.

Caratacus said...

Well I realise that I have a questionable sense of humour (the Memsahib has told me many times so it must be so) but I keep waiting for the new UKIP leader to say, on any interview on the wireless, "Dey do dough, don' dey, dey do dough" in full majestic Scouse. Ye gods - the chap could be PM in a year or twain the way the things are going ...

Mike said...

I would think Vlad would be a shoe-in for PM if he could be arsed. He must have a Sottish ancestor in his family tree. After all, a purple-lipped Kenyan mulatto can be POTUS. Then I would have no doubts about Brexit.

Anonymous said...

Dear Mr C - you'll hate me for this, but try singing "Dey doo dough etc" to the tune of "Ta ra-ra boom dee A" and you'll never get it out of your head.

v.//

callmeishmael said...

I guess that Brexit speculation is premature until the various European elections are over, mr mike.Afterwards, there may be no EU from which to Brexit, Frexit, Grexit, Nedexit, Spexit or wodevah, as the NewPeople say, amongst themselves, thumbing-away, like monkeys.

Didya see Deep Water, down there, on the local OzBox? Seems like everybody Down Under is a gay queerbasher, like Straight Simon Hughes was, in the LibDems.

call me ishmael said...

I have never recovered, king caratacus, from the time when Prince Harry Hooligan was a heartbeat from the throne. Paul Neanderthal being PM is comparatively small beer.

Mike said...

Haven't heard of Deep Water, Mr I. I rarely watch TeeVee, but will keep an eye open.

Re Brexit: I expect it will be an external event that will bring the whole rotten edifice down, not a referendum. Likely a bank run in Italy, or 'spontaneous' uprising in France. Very quickly it will descend into every country for itself.

call me ishmael said...

There's been a slew, recently, mr mike, of Aussie police procedurals, all a bit weird, strangely dated; just wondered. I suppose it is academic, a rotten structure can collapse of its own decay or of what you term an external event. I believe that the only event currently which might postpone EuCollapse is a significant war.

inmate said...

I believe you may have posted Mr.I, way back down the road, Mr Stuart Lee's commentaries of Paul Nuttalls of UKIPS.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKEsyIuTrO8

All there is to know about our next PM

mongoose said...

There can be no new King of Poundland while the old King lives. Any fule know dat.

I think also that Nige knows that Brexit is a far from done deal and so is going about his extra-curricular work, as it were, to ensure that these external events put as much stress on the rotten edifice as is possible. That is the only way to be sure the fuckers do not connive a bright shiny new thing - a New Holy Roman Empire Populistus perhaps.

I do not think that the Italians will make it as far as letting the French elections happen without their having already falling over. They will have to be paid. Everyone now has to be paid every single time, until Angela runs out even of pretend money. They might not even make it to the end of Trump's first month if he sets his great orange mind to it..

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr inmate, I did; Lee, unfortunately, has since disappeared, arguing with himself up his own arsehole. The price of fame, I suppose, and the idea that one can be a career comedian. It was a solid gold rant, though, and worth a look, now that this ridiculous gabshite is temporarily famous. He reminds me of that body-building nutter, the one who shot and blinded the copper, threatened his ex with a shotgun and was eventually killed by the police, down by the riverside. I can't remember his name, now. Too much muscle and body tone, too shiny a pate. I betcha there's loads of Northern working class wimmen've been on the end of a proprietorial slapping from people who look like Nuttall. Only when they needed it, mind. Like Diane James did.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr mongoose, Lord Poundland announced his irrepressible vanity in his remarks about UKIP Suzy, didn't he, and I shouldn't think it'll be long before Nuttall publicly disgraces himself. Maybe, if he lacks the front for a third unresignation, Farage can be like Benny the Nazi, a Pope Emeritus, difficult to imagine, though, a joint pimpship at the head of UKIP.

Caratacus said...

Thank you, mr. verge ... mercifully, however, my ten year old granddaughter beat you to it by singing "Forty-seven Ginger Headed Sailors" about 93 times (approx) last evening; it took residence in what passes for my brain and has lodged there ever since.

mongoose said...

Grrr! Fucking blogger ate another one!

Whinge about single market pretence of a choice, Zac Goldsmith -the apex of the rich and stupid curve, Diane Abbot, footie roastie-beasters croc tears re abused lads, fucking Jon Snow...

They do not get it though. It is not business as usual. Somewhere in Europe this next year or two blood will be spilled. It was longer but not better. Who said that? Any fool can write a long paragraph...

Woman on a Raft said...

If Zac loses to a Lib Dem it betokens that Ms May might not be as secure as she thinks. Zac was going to rejoin the party. Expect Farron to press for a general election but May to have gone off the idea.

call me ishmael said...

I think that ten minutes of Susan Kramer on prime time would see a rich crop of LibDems swinging from the nation's lamp posts. And I don't think that a ShitEaters victory in Richmond, mrs woar, means anything nationally.

call me ishmael said...

It is rich. I saw two seconds of Soxy, winding himself up about The Beautiful Beasting Game before I could turn him off. There will be blood, for sure. I lose stuff all the time here, mr mongoose, best to try doing the verification early-on, it is a pain, I know, but I can't disable it.

mongoose said...

The only reason Theresa does not call an election and kill them all is because, although she may not want in her heart to fulfil Brexit, she has greater problems on her plate. To ask fpr an election mechanism against the backdrop of the guaranteed term business would be to smoke out every opponent and attempted thwarter of the poeple's will within her own party. The battle for Theresa is within not without.

The libdems, Lord love us all, are dead. And I am a liberal and a Liberal too.

Goldsmith is an idiot, a fop, an elitist irrelevance, a pretend believer, a do-gooder with no other way to be anything but be a relative failure. Poor lad.

mongoose said...

"Richmond Park is filled with people like me."

Absolutely, m'lady. But well done to her.

call me ishmael said...

Christ, she sounds as though she'd been eating Gnasher pills, the cheeky fucking baggage.

call me ishmael said...

I differ a bit, re Zac, he is all those things,,his father was an arse, his sister is an arse but I have watched him speaking at length, especially on the matter of MP Recall and he seemed thoughtful and sincere, even principled.

Susan Farron, of course, might grow more insufferable, were that possible.

mongoose said...

Zac is a good-hearted though stupid lad but also a worthlesss shirt full of unearned money. I mean the man no harm nor malice. He is a child pottering in the field among combine harvesters. But this was a panto.

If I had 300 million in the bank I wouldn't care either about a few hundred quid here and there added to the costs poor people have to pay every year to survive. The dick needs to bend his mind to th esustainability of the planet having 14 billion people on it because that si where we are going. Some thought now to the real sustainability of development as opposed to "stopping those foreign buggers (multiplying)" through the engine of wealth-creation would be welcome. We have no moral right to deny foreign poor people the lives of their grandchildren. All other so-called sustainabilty argument is truth-avoiding conceit.

If one thinks that through, and the times and events of the forming thereof, one finds a possible motivation for it all. But I digress.

Mike said...

mr mongoose: 14 billion is that where we are heading? I was hoping that swine flu, bird flu, aids, etc would wipe a few billion out. Why aren't starvation and drought doing their natural jobs. Maybe nuclear war is the only answer to a sustainable planet. There is only so many that the Eu can subsidise.

callmeishmael said...

No harm nor put fault, mr mongoose, is the subterranean homesickness you unconsciously reference - but I mean no harm, nor put fault on anyone that lives in a vault but it's alright, Ma, if I can't please him...... My own go-to line, in the case of the Zacs is ...and the Princess and the Prince discuss what's real and what is not, it doesn't matter, inside the Gates of Eden. And there do I digress.

He needs to bend his mind, Zac, to the fact that nothing is sustainable when driven by the compulsion of a tiny but pestilential few to have more than they need; their Want, as we see, is unmeetable. Money, you see, as I keep saying, is the root of all Evil. Can we really feed and clothe and house and nurture ourselves, when the overriding impetus is for layabouts to grow rich whilst doing micro-second deals on our resources, inside a rigged cyber casino, which they still call The Market?

callmeishmael said...

It is simply not sustainable without global management and governance, mr mike; all the greater shame that the EU - a step in that direction - so swiftly rotted from within. What hope for crooked Africa, sneery, superstitious India and the ladyboys of South America when the West is fixated on robbing itself and everyone else blind?

mongoose said...

The only problems with global governance are but two: it is as far away from the will of the people as it is possible to get, and at the top of the tree you will find a prince or princess living in an Eden. If you return governance to local, you remove the need for everyone to have six different messaaging apps while their knickers are made by paupers in Hunan. I was at a tiresome 9am meeting one day when a child just out of university and in its new cocprorate un-washed-out polo shirt said, and I paraphrase, that the sensible scale of human governance was the river catchment. And it's a very good idea - if a little unlikely to come to fruition. The people should protect the river and not the river protect the people.

The 14 billion number - and I may have misremembered - is Mr Rosling's. Just a sec for the link. It is simplistic but a useful shorthand...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2LyzBoHo5EI

Well, there you go. Bollocks, 10-11 billion is his new picture... Mea culpa. About ten minutes in, mr ishmael, you will find a prince in an Eden.

mongoose said...

It is also worth a thought that it is not the stopping of the babies but the stopping of the growing healthy, and the growing old, of the babies. They must not be allowed their tewwible carbon dioxide footprints. This is what the environment business is about and these are the corpses around which it proudly wraps its ghastly shrouds. Carbon trading indeed.

Come friendly bombs and fall on Al Gore. A horrible, horrible Black and White Minstrel Show fake.

Bungalow Bill said...

The way of Mr Nutter will be greatly eased if the Supreme Court next week retards Article 50, and Tracey's menagerie of nincompoops continues to fuck it all up. Richmond means nothing but it does to the enraged self-righteous and the forces of EU sclerosis.

What fools they all are, the pious ones, lamenting and beating their breasts and all the while carving evil's path. Liberalism has always had that to its game, feeding monsters on purest condescension.

call me ishmael said...

But you cannot, mr mongoose, run a lifeboat with even 11 billion-strong survivors' democarcy aboard, can you, not if you want to stay afloat?

call me ishmael said...

Princess Teeth of Richmond, she looks like another one, mr bungalow bill; announcing ing herself mandated to declare war on the chav majority; she means us, cheeky cunt.

Mike said...

Big weekend: Austrians voting for someone called Adolf and Italians for Benito - thats wot I red on the BBC.

yardarm said...

Mr Mike raises a good point. By the time we get around to Leaving there may not be much of an EU to leave.

Dick the Prick said...

Gaddzooks - this is top snooker! Hope all's well Mr Smith. Off to me mum's for burgers and Guinness. Rawnsley's done a good turn in today's Observer. This Ukip chappie - well, he's a knob int' he? Although did see that Farron fella at 6.30 in the morning at the Richmond byelection looking to all a sundry like he'd just entertained an evening of cottaging and was very pleased to meet everyone on such an auspicious occasion - like an Proper Cunt. If he'd thought about it, he could have taught the local kids footie and saved himself the effort but I guess we've all got 20:20 vision on reflection.

All the best, as always :-)

mongoose said...

But that is why the lifeboats are smaller than the ships, mr ishmael.

Mike said...

Talking of lifeboats:

http://www.zerohedge.com/news/2016-12-04/something-strange-taking-place-mediterranean

I've been saying for a while that there's no way this number of people can transit Europe without organised help.

I'm still puzzled as to th why.

Bungalow Bill said...

Jacob Rees-Mogg showing that there are still orators and proper Parliamentarians in the Commons in his latest contribution on the Brexit debate. Forgive me, but I don't know how to link these things; worth a look though. and easily found.

mongoose said...

It is interesting manoeuvring by May. Is she ruthless enough, do you think, to plan to bring the whole thing crashing down rather than to have it remain in being without the Brits? The repssure builds everywhere and the pretend negotiations that it seems will commence, and most fittingly so, on April 1st look set to see the EU denying all sorts of things that May must seem to want but that she probably doesn't. This will end in a trul ypyrrhic victory for the EU over Les Rosbifs.

She has also fucked over the Supreme Court before they even get to speak. (Not as badly as they haave mauled Nicola's guy though.) And although I am against this sort of flummery on principle. and especially at the behest of some shill financier, it is right and proper I think that we start out afresh with the rule of law.

What will happen when the deal comes back and we are leaving the single market and the customs union? That will be the time that the EU expects a collapse and a re-vote to reverse the decision. it might also be time for a rebranding . Not EEC, not EU, not Europe but the what?

call me ishmael said...

Well, mr mongoose, I love the law as much as anyone but I really don't think this is a case for their lordships, for reasons further up the road, that it is instigated by this ghastly horror woman makes it worse; my view is that if there are laws preventingt the clear will of the people being enacted they should be struck-down, immediately. I do not understand all the threatened Euro-collapse theories and having just seen the ridiculous Mrs Cleeg explain them I am none the wiser but as you and others have said there may soon be very little left from which to resile. There is also Trump v NATO and much else. The customary wisdom would be that some sort of Remaining compromise would be stitched up, but we are no longer seeing custom and practice. I simply don't know.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, Jake Mogg is like a parliamentary Brian Sewell, a chilly water cannon drenching pretension and stupidity. Good to watch.

call me ishmael said...

I only watched Maestro O'Sullivan, mr dick, and it was depressing to see him beaten by that awful cunt from Leicester, well, I say beaten, the O'Sullivan breaks were the winners, for thecaudience and for the industry. Burgers, by the way, they give you cancer.

call me ishmael said...

Thanks, mr mike, makes some sense of things, as we see in referenda and elections, there is a gabshite casted which, claiming moral purpose, considers itself beyond the law/ Greenpeace interrupting bad commerce is one thing but people trafficking, even by charity organisations is monstrous.