Thursday, 16 June 2016


It may simply be urban mythology noire but it is said that the late Walt Disney, bringer of joy and confusion to so many children, had his corpse frozen, anticipatimg a world in which he might be resurrected, and in which, preferably, there were no Jews.  Nothing would suprise me.  
If, however, the Great Anthropomorphiser does lie frozen in some jewelled vault, may I suggest that he be be defrosted and fed to the fucking alligators?

I guess the child's father will never be able to close his eyes again, without seeing  that ugly bastard munching on his heart's delight;  that should be punishment enough; it needs to be said, however, that relying on GlobaCorp not to be criminally negligent is negligent in itself.  In any event, letting your kid paddle anywhere in the alligator capital of America  seems dreadfully foolhardy, these creatures are predators, they do what predators do; Clement
Freud or some ugly old 'gator, that's what they do, lie in wait for some weakling and pounce on them. 
There is an infinity of paranoid possibilities,  being eaten by an alligator in Florida is one of the more readliy imaginable. Me, if I heard there were alligators  in Somerset, a country's length from me, I'd move to Ireland; as for paying good money to go and holiday with them? Well, it takes all sorts.

A spokesperson for Alton Towers issued the following communique: 

Our fawts'n'prayers at this dreadful time  are with the shareholders of DisneyWorld, the major ones, anyway; we can imagine what they are going through  in these difficult days. We are confident, however, that a junior employee will be found to take full responsibility for what is just, actually, a minor oversight and that a new foolproof system will be introduced in which a senior manager will have to sign any hungry crocodiles in or out of the facility.

The parents? Well, they'll be give them as little money as possible, they will be the subject of a TeeVee news report or two and then they'll sink back into obscurity, yes, like the crocodile did. 

Speaking on skymadeupnewsandfilth, the current prime minister of the UK. Mr Dave PigFucker, said, 

I'm warning you, if you vote to leave Europe, alligators will eat all your children. So there. 
Don't say I didn't warn you, when your precious grandchild is last seen sticking out of some alligators' ugly mush.
They can be released, y'know, into the waterways, where they'll breed like Muslims in Bradford. I'm not saying we, in the Bremain camp will release alligators into the Stratfiord-on-Avon canal. But you never know, if we leave Europe, anything might happen.


Woman on a Raft said...

.... and if that were not enough, you could find Bob Geldorf skulling around and either shouting or firing a harpoon at you.

mongoose said...

Another one safely dead though.

It is a wonder to me that Gideon has put an almighty kibosh on his career like that. What the fuck for? While it is likely that if the vote is lost both of them are resigning before the Monday, Osborne at least had some prospect of a future - even one delayed by a period of penance and rehabilitation. Now, he is tainted goods - with both wings of his party, and with the markets. Silly bugger.

I begin to think that Leave (nb weasel use of "Quit" since the w/e) might just win. Fortunately for Remain, they have all of those lovely postal votes to count (on). It is going to be a tight one though.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, the language is fascinating - quitters - but my guess is that it will work against them, everything Cameron does is Flashmanesque and I expect he is unwelcome anywhere outside Brussels and maybe not even there; my long-standing charge that Osborne is a drug abuser is sincere, and there's no telling what such people do, or why, and if career is the issue, he will not be short of eye-wateringly extravagant offers, whatever happens.

Geldof, too, I should think, is probably one of the most despised people in the country, indeed, most of the interventions from vermin like him seem counter productive, I mean, who, in their right mind, reviewing the life and times and deaths of Bob Geldof, would wish him anything but ill, would pay heed to his absurd proclamations? Bring 'em on, eh, loudmoths, bores and tax avoiders.

I have actually put myself on sick parade, as regard the Eurendum, relying on people here, for the odd update but it seems to me that even if the Leave campaign fails it will be instantly revived, as was the Scottish Neverendum and a similar chasm will be opened between the governed and the governors. Oh, for a fucking opposition.

Bungalow Bill said...

Nutter kills MP is likely to change things somewhat, especially if he is indeed a Brexit nutter. Cue the Remourn camp, Winston in Statesman's weeds, Europiety in excelsis.

It's martini hour, thank God.

SG said...

Friends, Romans, Romanians et al, etc. the antidote to everything is here - 'The New Gypsy Kings' on BBC 2 now. Borat eat your heart out!... Well precised here:

By the way, I was in my barbers the other day, yeah the Kurdish one who does the ear flaming. A gentleman entered the premises wearing a rather 'loud' sports jacket. 'Where are you from my friend' enquired the coterie of barbers. 'Romania', announced said gentleman who then hastily qualified his announcement with 'but I not Gypsy...'.

yardarm said...

Already the griefjacking has started, Mr Bungalow Bill, convenient for those like JK Rowling and Adele who need a public weep and Owen Jones, the impertinent git.

Thick, lazy, snobbish, we all know he is but Top Hat Boy has fucked this up in spectacular fashion, he`s handing Leave to them in a bandbox, Pansy Face`s Emergency Budget of Whips is the latest manifestation of their arrogant incompetence.

Woman on a Raft said...

he`s handing Leave to them in a bandbox

Not sure. Trying to guess which way the narrative will run is tricky; could go either way.

For my money, this looks like a grassy knoll moment. It appears to be all sealed down, and then people start asking questions, but we aren't there yet. Was he really such a lone nutter? Who put him up to looking for the MP that day? Did he target her for political reasons or was he having a separate psychotic episode and she just happened to be there?

Leave have nothing to gain from this; rather, it has already denied them the QT platform this evening, which would have been a lively one as it is the last before the vote.

Remain, however, are lining up the elite on Newsnight to suggest we all should be much more polite to MPs, without asking whether our MPs ought to be more polite to us. Polite means 'pay your taxes and vote the way we tell you'.

I've played the NN interview half a dozen time but I cannot hear quite what the Polly Billington, advisor to Ed Miliband, is saying. She was on the bridge yesterday during the flotilla stunt. At 22:57

"I waved to Jo and Brendan and their children in their [rib? rig?] from the bridge.."

Did the late MP really take two children out on to the river during a stunt? That river is bloody dangerous (and yes, I have really, truly, steered a barge up it, and I thought it might be my last journey) and if so, what was she thinking of?

Anyroad up, the robust campaigning phase has to be regarded as over. The only mop-up this week will be snitty arguments about who is allowed to say what about whom. Now it is just a question of how irritated people are in private.

BTW, I had a lovely day in York but the sound in the cathedral is of variable quality depending on where you are. A vast stone box is is not a concert hall. I had the experience of sitting high up, above the gargoyles on the pillars, with sunlight streaming through the stained glass. I am glad I saw it; it is in the vein of public spectacle in line with pageants, masques, or Greek classical theatre.

The back of the programme says that in 2018 they are going to try a verson on carts dragged through the city, so you will get your wish. They are gathering people now for it, so anyone who wants to crew or act or offer assistance should get in touch via

Put in in your diary for 2018 and you will be able to compare the productions.

mongoose said...

It is certainly convenient and breathes air into our host's "national emergency" idea. It will certainly marshal the Labour vote, Mrs Raft, or perhaps a postponement can be arranged now.

And while it is a vile thing to think, and despite the eulogies, a one-year-in MP is but a foot soldier. It is a bit too grassy knoll for the Brits though, isn't it? Sometimes a nutter is just a nutter.

Woman on a Raft said...

Agree, it is far-fetched. But then, Ecce Homo. It took several years before a proper spinner got hold of that story and began to give it currency. We know better how to do it now.

The concept of sacrifice needing to be a perfect, innocent, and that act having the power to shift political action is not a new one. The main difficulty is in finding such a sacrifice. By chance a ram, a lamb, a ding-dong, got it's head caught in a thorn bush. The immediate effect was to obliterate the argument and to impose a blunt narrative of "if you are a good person and you want to honour Jo's sacrifice, then you must vote Remain".

The cut-through is explicit and the Star (ok, it is not that important) has equated Brexit with murder. But the other papers are wobbling around, trying to fall on the right side of the vox dei. Tuscan Polly is all feathery outrage, appropriating the murder to lecture us on why we ought to be nice to her.

See how the two narratives can be seemlessly tacked-on to each other? The emotional impact from the sacrifice sweeps away logical analysis. You are correct, a nutter is just a nutter, and the only argument should be about how come he was not receiving better help for his mental condition. But that will not be the argument which is had. Rather, the lack of answers may themselves offer Spooney and excuse to suspend the entire process on security grounds, which to him is going to look like a good idea.

My take: I am still gobsmacked at how Bourbon-blind our elite are. Nothing has been exposed which has not been festering for years. What is needed now is honesty and hygiene, not slapping a load of cosmetics over it and claiming that it is all pretty. That way lies gangrene and amputation.

mongoose said...

Ecce Homo, indeed. I think I have mentioned that I attended a tridentine requiem last week. Born to the sound of WW1 machine-gun chatter; buried under latin; never touched a keyboard. How can that be? We live in extraordinary times. Perhaps we always do.

If the unfortunate nutter is assassinated in a police station car park, I guess we will have ou answer mrs WOAR. And is just me but is all that "appeared in court by video link", deeply dangerous and open to abuse. Whatever happened to habeas corpus?

Hamhead said the other year "Twitter, you know Twitter? It's not Britain." I think that is where we are with politics. This is the post-TV age. The narrative cannot now be managed. Pamphlet, public meeting, yesterday's paper, News-at-Ten. It's over now. A thousand dreary bores pennign their repetiitive comments at 10p per is 10p per wasted. Even the columnists are done. Polly Toynbee thinks she is on the inside but she isn't. She is outside just like everyone else now. Even Guido Staines is on the way out. The control of information and opinion is broken. Why else have all the electric newspapers stopped comment-leaving? Why else do "liberal/progressive" issues spring up internationally and exist superficially? The wallpaper and not the house. Just in time for us now that nobody actually has wallpaper.

Just as Tyndale broke his set of chains, Tim Berners-Lee has broken another set. (Or was it Al Gore? The vile, vile, horrible, plastic swine.) Blair and Clinton will prove to be the last who could hold all the reins together. Even Obama with all his hopey-changey, melting pot advantages could not. The unholy mob is a mob again.