Stewart Lee on immigration, Paul Nuttall and UKIP by frankblock
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The chronicles of Ruin, continued. Call me Ishmael said....intelligence is knowing what to do when you don't know what to do. Anonymous said... When I don't know what to do,I come here. 10 September 2009 22:59
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- THE SUNDAY ISHMAEL. BEYOND THE POLITICAL EVENT HOR...
- THE SUNDAY ISHMAEL. PART ONE, THE FASHION PAGES
- EVENSONG. STEWART LEE MAKES UKIP'S CASE
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25 comments:
He's clever, Lee, and he does for the UKIP fish in a barrel here. I can't take to him though, it's the full set of liberal assumptions he carts around, largely unexamined, even though he deploys fairly strained defensive ironies. Nevertheless, one of the best we have now and we must be forever grateful for his dissection of the Top Gear horror. As for the Farascists, don't we just need to look at them. Spectacularly self-identifying cunts743.
Sorry, I'm sure they have more than 743 cunts. That was my latest fumbling to pass the cyber test Mr I.
I am sure they have more than 743 cunts. This was my latest fumbling to pass the cyber test I am afraid.
I think it is pretty obvious that Ukip are (largely) a bunch of chancers, only uncorrupted because they have had little chance to display such vulgar, crass venality as the usual suspects, and their electoral success thus far is made up of tory-scum covering their asses BUT, and it is a big but, they will, if they get a sniff of a chance, get us out of this awful union with the continent, by hook or by crook.
That will do me, for a start. Should they then prove themselves money-grubbing spivs I shall find another party that has at least one policy I agree with, and vote for them.
Voting for ANY of the other mobs is, as the yanks say, not an option.
Had to Google Stewart Lee. Said he's a comedian. Not so sure about that.
Lee is certainly not the typical, sharp-elbowed, panel-showing, DVD-peddling, nasty arsehole, sexist pig comedian, with whom we are so richly blessed, telling gags you can see coming a hundred miles away, churning them out to a recipe for people too stupid to amuse themselves, he is no Jimmy !"Anal Sex" Carr, mr anonymous, that's for sure. Not sure that he's a comedian at all, in the Lee Mack, Peter Kay sense. But I like his observations, they seem obvious, as does this one - but only after he's done them. I think that there is also the fact, mr bungalow bill, that things stopped being funny, a while ago, now, around the time of the Blair-Brown horror, dark remembrance and lame satire is now our portion, mine, anyway.
I think they ARE any of the other mobs, UKIP, just too stupid, too unsophisticated to disguise it. Labour peers only go to the House of Lords to abolish it, Farage and his thickos go to Brussels just to destroy it, right, course they do. Who is it who swallows this shit? Tories do arms deal with state terrorists, just for the money, that worthless spiv, Farage, does rotten deals with rotten Polish Nazis, just for the money; how is he different to Tory pigs Douggie Hurd and Pauline Neville Jones? Oh, yes, he's different because he says he's different from the others, like Mr Nick Clegg said.
Farage isn't an option, he's just a cunt, another one and his pig-faced, shit-brained, tongue-tied stooges should be high up on the Ringo Starr Luckiest Person Alive Chart, stupid, ignorant, lazy, racist neanderthals, screwing us for a couple of hundred grand a year, each. They must think they've died and gone to Heaven, although none of them would get past the front door. I'm looking forward to the sex scandals, spankers, I should think, most of them.
The Stewart Lee routine you posted seems little more than a re-working of the Python 'What have the Romans ever done for us?' routine. Not original, not difficult, not funny.
Yes, I concede, Farage and co are all that you say they are, but, at the risk of being repetitve, they will get us out of the EU, given half a chance. That has to be a good thing, good enough to for me to change my long-observed habit of not voting at all.
Once we are out, well, that's anyone's guess, but can it really be as bad as what we have now?
I'll take a chance.
All routines are reworkings of something, Python was a reworking of Spike Milligan's Q, wasn't it? Aren't there only seven jokes in the world? And isn't Paul Nuttall so dangerously up his own arse that his absurd faux humantarianism needs puncturing, or is it that his promised national salvation from the EuroMonster excuses any and every fucking stupidity with which he chooses to offend us; isn't he so far up his own arse that attempted urination would endanger the worthless slag's worthless life?
And Lee's presentation is original, understated and thoughtful, not prudish but smut-free, not manic, like so many of them, not fawning, like so many of them; what can I say, I am sorry you don't like it?
As for your claims of Euro-Freedom, mr anonymous, at the benevolent hand of a bunch of spivs, I fear that, like Mr Poundland, himself, you are pre-counting your poultry for, as I understand it, any such deliverance requires a plebiscite, requires the wish and the consent of a majority of the population and no matter how grandly FagAsh Lil inflates his importance, a majority of the country has not yet spoken on this matter; you may be certain of its eventual decision but I and many others are not and many undecideds will yet be persuaded of the merits of continued membership, there is a good case to be made. Farage, just like all the rest of them, bamboozles you into thinking that he can make what you want to happen, happen. And he can't. He is no different and the uniqueness with which you invest him is non-existent. Nigel Farage cannot force our withdrawal from Europe, even were he to form a government consisting of himself and six hundred of his frothing-at-the-mouth stooges. The man, just like all of them, is an utter cunt, a thieving fucking bastard, why do you fall for his fucking John Bull rubbish, when he'd sell you and your family to an Arab pimp in the blink of an eye?
Not voting for any of this filth is fine and noble and the less we do of it the sooner will emerge something better. Political parties? Parliamentary democracy? They are just so eighteenth century - approved candidates, drawn from a ruling caste, selected from on high and parachuted into safe seats, or rotten boroughs, as we used to call them. What's to vote for? Certainly not some wannabe PM, some jumped-up, Tory pisshead, some estate agent spiv who looks like a character from Midsomer Murders, in a fur collar and pink trousers, who writes his loony policies down in the white spaces in the Sun newspaper, while sitting on the loo, having the morning-after runs. Fuck me, Jesus, vote for Nigel Farage. Because he'll set us free. Aye, right, set us free.
The c-word is not smut?
It wasn't witty observation, it wasn't an insightful, political dissection with humour as a scalpel, it was the usual lefty-type ad-hom, slag a bloke whose not here, mis-represent his words, impute meanings where there are none and ignore those meanings that are plain. All carried out with a smug arrogance that would shame a six-former. I know bestism, I believe it's called.
No, I didn't like it, but because it wasn't funny, not because he slags a favourite politician, as if I could have such a thing.
I would be grateful for the mere opportunity to express my wishes on the EU, something denied me by ALL other parties. They are the ones that appear uncertain of the outcome, else the fabled 'cast iron promise' would have been wheeled out by now, to save Cameron's sorry ass, but it hasn't, and it won't.
Farage will have to do something horrific before May to stop me voting for him, and the more people don't like that, the more I shall enjoy doing it.
Thank you for your considered response, mr anonymous but No, mate, using cunt is just reclaiming a perfectly legitimate Anglo-Saxonism from the prim, censorious, effete, hypocritical, warmongering dinner-partyistes who would simply never ever ever say cunt or nigger because of their respect for women, yes, and persons of colour, too but who would bomb to smithereens those Iraqi, nigger cunts who so distress GlobaCorp, would drop fragmentation bombs on nigger playgrounds and tell bereaved nigger mothers to be grateful, the stupid cunts, in the long run. That cunt, Geoff Hoon, he would never, ever use the word cunt. Never heard such shit, c-word, n-word, words don't hurt, bombs hurt. Banned words, what will they think of next, to sanitise their shittiness. Smut is that cunt, Jonafun Woss, giggling to his hapless female guests that they do like it up the arse, don't they, go on, dahlin, admit it; that's fucking smut, knob-joking, useless, degenerate cunt.
As for having your say, the trouble is that, often, as with the Tribesmen, people have their democratic say and when they find that their considered view is not that of the majority, they run around shitting themselves, screeching that the majority is wrong. It is not, I suggest that they want their say but that they want their way.
I am insufficiently clever to have a settled view on the European Union and I often find myself with a foot in both camps, although I am consistent in my view that those who oppress us from Europe would simply, if we left, find another location for their head office. Like so-called party politics, your notion of the nation state is hopelessly antiquated, our rulers, whom your hero so rabidly wishes to join, would join at any cost, permit the nation state in name only and if there is a diversion to be found from Ruin it does not lie in Farage's blustering libertarian fascism, nor in the economic and political illiteracy, bigotry and downright stupidity of his stooges, with their preposterous, idiotic, hypocritical Bulgarianisms. Nuttall? For fuck's sake.
I will happily wager you five hundred pounds, right now, that should there be a referendum, the sainted British people will vote, as did the Scots, for the retention of the existing union. And what will poor Nigel do then, poor thing? The reality, of course, is that a referendum is the very last thing he wants, isn't it, for what would he do when he lost, he hasn't even shown the nerve required to fight a UK by-election, has he, leaving it to the sitting Tories. Dear, oh dear, what a fucking carry-on.
I must stop referring to Auberon Waugh but it is difficult in these pressing times not to recall his yearning for rule by a junta of Belgian ticket inspectors. He reached this constitutional view by looking around him at what Westminster had to offer. If 20 odd years ago our representatives were so repulsive, and indeed they were, what monsters have been spawned since? So, the inspectors or government from the golf club bar (the "nineteenth hole" as UKIP's favourite comedians would have it)? Tough one but the food in Brussels is generally better.
Our little spat here on the northern fringe of what used to be a continent important to other people is but that. Two-thirds of the people of the world are exceptionally poor people who don't want their kids to be likewise. And all of the various idiocies that we "developed" countries make up to try to hold back this tide of change will be as successful as such things have always been. (There was a poor lad on the telly the other day bemoaning the failure of the wonderfully-named Environment Agency to stop the North Sea eroding his farmland. Has he not looked at a map? Is it not clear? The Environment in the agency of the North Sea, my friend, is playing a longer game than you apparently can imagine.) And so it is with the economics of who we are and who cares.
Now if you think I'd let Nigel Farage move in next door and marry my daughter, well, you must think I'm crazy. But Nigel, bless his nasty little jacket, has loons about him who have mad ideas about immigrants. (When I was a lad we had hordes of Guinness-wogs swarming all over the country. "Be on your way, Tinker!") Leave the EU? Have a referendum on so leaving? Lightweight. Personally, I think it would be better for all concerned if the EU ceased to exist next Monday morning - for everybody. Just turn the lights off and lock the door. Fuck me, we've only just got rid of the nineteeneth-century empires, we don't want another go at it all. Empires and nationalism, eh. It's a bloody A-level question not global politics for grown-ups.
And it is the weakness of comfortable softies such as the comedian above that they cannot hear, and cannot see beyond the not-knowing tittering of the Samanthas and Benedicts in the front row. After a while, if the lie is big enough, you forget that he is just a bloke with a van who likes the footie - and apparently has not a lady-who-does to take down his flags after the tournament. Whereas you cannot forget that you are a person of taste, a bien pensant member of God'e Chosen Elite. A warrior for goodness and truth, and there's a nice little Lebanese place that's opened just by our weekend house. Bless, it's as if Animal Farm had never been written.
If you want to really know what they think,a nd what it is about, imagine if you will, that we passed a law that said that anyone sitting in Parliament, the European Parliament or Commission or any of the associated gravy trains had to change their surname to Kinnock. (Fuck me! Perhaps it has already happened!)
This is the just politics as it has always been run, and the four-legs-good badges of the Islington branch of the illiberal elite can be polished back up. Yon comedian lad was at his best for almost a whole minute before he summarised his political insight with "...but they're nasty and they might get in." Thank-you, my son, and on the Light Programme tonight...
Re: the EU - what Mr Mongoose said. However, I suspect that even in the event of an 'out' vote we will find that the EU is like the Hotel California - "you can check-out any time you like, but you can never leave..."
I must stop referring to Auberon Waugh but it is apt to recall in these pressing times the lamented one's desire to be ruled by a junta of Belgian ticket inspectors, anything but the monsters of Westminster. The UKIP golf club bar theorists are disgusting not because they are yet tainted by the parliamentary virus but because they argue in tabloid headlines. They are everything that is excruciatingly simple-minded in a certain strand of English (and it is very much English) political prejudice. The idea that a bit of plain speaking and robust rejection of complication and subtlety will lead to the sunlit uplands of truth, justice and plenty. BIg, fat, repulsive Cyril was always keen on plain speaking and the brisk dismissal of fancy dan nonsense, even as the vile cunt was degrading young boys; they all love plain speaking and good old-fashioned English discipline, calling a spade a spade don't they, the hideous punishment freaks, the lovers of the rod, the shrivelled perverts who dare to claim this country as their own.
I thought he was quite funny about Liverpool but went on a bit. The EU is a cunt. I voted for them (ukip) in 1993. Most certainly a protest vote.
Well, he mocks himself, mr mongoose, doesn't he, his Guardianistaism, doesn't he. And overall his output could be yours; he is, like you, a thoughtful guy, frustrated, Lee. We can of course, damn them all, career comedians, for JeremyHardyism but Lee at least thinks about what he says, his routines are not like Sarah Millican's or Shappy Wotsaname's or Jo Brand's, one endless knobjoke, nor are they LeeMack's New Yorkster gags, or Jimmy Carr's Life of the Anus; Frankie Boyle's bold go where no joker has been beforeisms. Most of all, me mongoose, considering how long you've known me, the fact that I like Lee should count for something, shouldn't it? Can't you, all those provisos, reservations, cavils and quibbles, take them as read, this, after all, being the home of the NoBusinessLieShowBusiness Movement?
As I said to mr anonymous, above, about the EU, I find it hard to get uptight, whatever replaced it would be as bad or worse and for the time being, you and me, the smallest prison reform group in the land, we should welcome the good influence of Europe on mr justice slag and his brethren, Fargae has his way and we'll be seeing public hangings.
Glad you haven't, after all, disappeared in your new car,ms lilith, over the hills and far away.
No, can't have too much Bron Waugh, mr bungalow bill, and I speak as a Zen Presbyeterian Marxist.
It's neat that he has been proved right, also, on the impact of methane from RoastBeef on the hoof, each beast generating as much annual greenhouse gas as the average family car. That's if you believe in greenhouse gases, of course.
There was a good AN Wilson show the other night, on naughty Queen Victoria; more to take exception to than in the recent Betjeman show but witty and erudite, magnificent in comparison to most of the dummies doing TellyHistory.
RE the EU, mr sg, what mr ishmael said, again.
Thanks for that, I missed it but will look it up. For those who enjoy Beethoven and the piano, you may want to get Igor Levit playing the late sonatas if you haven't already got it. He's remarkably gifted and I've only just caught up with it though it was out last year. It's not expensive and it's wonderful.
Either I'm too sensitive or else I'm getting soft but I simply cannot bear that music at the moment, mr bungalow bill. Listening in the car travelling to Fair Dundee, a couple of weeks back, I heard, on Classic FM, the opening of the Moonlight Sonata, fair broke my fucking heart, it did, even though I know every note of it. As in all new cars the audio experience in my new Volvo is, if anything, too intense, too personal a tale. Or maybe it's just me.
It may come to you, some combination of adversity and a medication-wrought sensibility, a handful of the thousand shocks twiddling your internal graphic equaliser, way up past where it should go, on this side of Ecstasy, anyway.
I believe I understand. He's always way up past where it should go really, old Ludwig. I am finding the same with reading "proper literature", it's just too much and too painful and your soul gets whipped. You sound like a twat when you say it but it's true. We must hope for a fresh start sometime. Or maybe not.
Well, I wouldn't know about the later part of his gig, Mr I, because I had thrown the telly out of the window by that time. But it is true that he is not a bad lad as they go but comedians? Fuck me, I've had cats who think more deeply about stuff than these buggers.
Worry not about Farage. His bolt is shot. It is a sideshow. But hangings, yes. The Kinnocks on the first tree and the comedians on the next. Ben Elton first, please, if he has thus far been spared.
He's always too much Beethoven. I increasingly feel the same about "proper literature". Too painful and too difficult as you age. We may need a fresh start or maybe not.
Surely, he is, by now, Sir Ben, presenting, with David Mitchell, Victoria Coren Mitchell, Sue Perkins and David Baddiel, a CleverDicks show to rival Steven Fag's gibbering cornucopia of Not Remotely Interesting facts. Never, mr mongoose, have so many failed to be dazzled so many porridge-dull nonentities, as distant from true cleverness as it is possible to be whilst sentient. I blame David Frost and Ned Sherrin for all this showy though empty CleverDickery, them and the accursed Lord Melvyn Barg, may the Prophet, peace and blessings be upon his name, cause his arse to rupture, making him trip over his own intestines.
Re: the accursed one, Mr I, I tend to agree with you but I still listen to "In Our Time" and, from time to time, find it illuminating - fuck it!
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