The news that a probe has landed on a distant comet has alarmed the Peace industry.
Peepul ov Christian Earth, as your leading peace envoy, I simply say, that after my success, in the Middle East, where, y'know, lets face it, there's simply never been, quite so much peace, I have, I must say, grave misgivings, about the comet landing.
And I simply say to you, that those peepul, the peepul ov the comet, have, according to my best intelligence, intelligence, I might say, quite brilliantly invented, made-up, no less, by the world's leading bi-curious, manic depressive, dispomaniacal pornoghrapher and intelligence expert, Mr Big Ali Campbell,
ably assisted by the most currupt ever Joint Chief of the Intelligence Services,
Don't blame me, I just wrote what I was told, wouldn't you, for a knighthood?
Sir Johnny Scarlett-Liar, I have intelligfence which proves, beyond a doubt, that the comet-Islamists, have weapons of mass destruction,
yes, up there, in space, capable ov, destroying the Earth, within forty-five minutes, unless, I am paid, one hundred million pounds, cash, no cheques. And a drink for Imelda, too.
Go on, Tony, chuck,
we can clean up on this one.
I simply say, peepul of Earth,
that the galactic language of Peace is war; total annihilation, it's the only thing that extraterrestrial things understand.
Kill! Burn! Destroy!