Thursday, 22 May 2014


This is the tragic news that some fuckhead who makes adverts for banks has dumped his bride-to-be.

A trio of financial experts shares its wisdom with the public.
I am just not ready to commit, said Mr Rory Prat;  I need to spend all of my time concentrating on my advertising career.  That's why I came into golf in the first place.

  Mr McPrat's colleague, Mr Lewis TaxExile, said he fully understood McPratt's greed and wouldn't run him off the road, even though he could, easily.  No, it was Britain and British fans who made me and that's why it would be seriously mad for me to live there and pay taxes.  Santander?  No, they really are a great bank, actually give people money, well, me, anyway.  And that's what counts.

No, it's cool, and I'm fine with it, said jilted fiancee, Ms Jabberwocky,  I mean, it was just getting past a joke.  He even had it tattooed on his number seven iron, knowhaddamean?  Yeah, on his cock, Bank with Santander.  In tiny letters, obviously, right? Yeah, that sickly orangey-red.  I mean, what girl wants that on her wedding night,  there's getting fucked  by the banks, I know, but that was too much.  Yeah, Lewis has it too, Jensen, all of them.


Doug Shoulders said...

He’s not so much advertising Santander as advertising how much fookin’ money he’s making from them

He should just wink at the camera sneer a bit and pan out to a faux blonde or two in the background…I got all dis playin’ galf

call me ishmael said...

I thought winking and sneering represented the entire range of his communication skills, the horrible git. Still, unlike his adman colleague, Mr Lenny Henry, Rory is seldom called upon to do real acting, such as lying on a Premier Inns bed and sighing; must be worth a BAFTA, that.

The marquee tent of celebrity grows huge, spilling off the village green, o'er filling the pond with the piss coming out of it.

Mike said...

Feeling sorry for Rory. If you play golf every day (as I do) it really fucks your mind up.

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure which of them has had a lucky escape.

I genuinely had no idea who he was until all this. He looks a bit like one of those kidults that play video games in their underpants. She seems to play tennis in hers.

Selfish cock refuses to marry talentless bint. Who cares, really?


Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
call me ishmael said...

Sorry, mr right wing git, both that you had never heard of mr wotsisname, the famous banking golfer and that I deleted your comment in error. If you ever find yourself in doubt over which bank might cheat you the least, then mr wotsisname is your Go-to geezer.

It is for such as these, mr vincent, that your hated taxes are collected, that they may shine, for instance, at the London Olympics or the doomed Glasgow Commonwealth Games before entering lucrative careers peddling shit and lies to the rest of us. Sport, ain't it wonderful?