Monday, 12 March 2012


Staff Seargeant  GI Joe, 38 and a father of two is said to have left his Afghan base  heavily armed and shot to death sixteen people - 13 of them children -  before going back and handing himself in to the legal authorities -  ie the US Army, or Redneck Psychobastard Central.
 Speaking on Pentagon Radio,  US Seckatry of State President Hillary Trousers, 
My husband, President Spunky Bill, did not  have sexual relations with that woman.  And nor did I.

said she had no idea why the soldier had shot sixteen people, Maybe he ran out of bullets, said the increasingly crazy-looking old witch-dyke, and sixteen was all he could manage. This will not hinder my determination to start a war in Eyeran  or Syria or Pakistan.  Just so long as I leave that sonofafuckinbitch Obama lookin' like he's got blood and guts and sinews and in-fuckin-test- ines  hanging from his teeth.

Four-star General Hiram T Cheeseburger the Third said that

 Rally round the flag, y'all.

This is a most unusual event,  normally we kill niggerchildren with dronebombs or napalm and it is deeply regrettable that one of our troops was forced to put himself through this ordeal.

In the White House, President Obamalama, swivelling his head from left- to right-hand autocue said, 


My fellow motherfuckers. Let me make it clear.  I am the Commander in Chief.   And no soldier.  Under this administration.  Need have any worries.  About going to jail. That is not how.  I get re-elected. Unless that soldier is.  Pfc Bradley Manning. And we are  gonna. Fry his ass. Vote for me.

GI Joe's head  probably was fucked-up. That's what they do to soldiers, after all.  And maybe his Deathfest was triggered by one too many mornings spent up to his arse in GlobaCorp hypocrisy.
One would expect him to be nutted-off to some funnyfarm, for a year or two, and then honoured by all the rednecks who believe that the only good nig-nog is a dead nig-nog,  the Ku Klux Klan, the TeaParty, Guido Fawkes and his redneck masturbators,  the usual bunch of fascists, wifebeaters, racists  and childkillers.  These kids, after all, are all gonna grow up and be killers;  best just kill 'em now, so says order-order, the PizzaHouseOfBlood.

Rally round the Flag, boys.

Yes we'll rally round the flag, boys, we'll rally once again,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom,
We will rally from the hillside, we'll gather from the plain,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!

We are springing to the call of our brothers gone before,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
And we'll fill our vacant ranks with a million freemen more,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!

We will welcome to our numbers the loyal, true and brave,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
And although they may be poor, not a man shall be a slave,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
So we're springing to the call from the East and from the West,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
And we'll hurl the rebel crew from the land we love best,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!
The Union forever! Hurrah, boys, hurrah!
Down with the traitor, up with the star;
While we rally round the flag, boys, rally once again,
Shouting the battle cry of freedom!


the noblest prospect said...

Well, the psychobastardmommasboys don't seem to be interfering with my supply.

A nice bit of Afghani gold seal...

This ain't no disco.

yardarm said...

Another nutter in Afghanistan ? No wonder the Talibastards are pissed off; slaughtering the locals is their job.

And seeing how us and the Yanks have been slinging all sorts of missiles and drone strikes around the place (and into Pakistan) since 2001 its more than usually hypocritical for Obarmarama and Wisteria to pretend they give a fart about civilian casualties now. Or indeed our casualties.

And has Karzi already purchased a villa on the south of France, bought with nicked aid money that he`ll do a runner to when we leave and the Talibastards storm back in ?

Pakistan...Iran...Syria. I expect the military, economic and political geniuses are already at work planning more triumphs like Iraq and A/stan. Round and round it goes....

Has anyone reminded Mrs Spunky that during the depths of the Monica Lewinsky business, when he was having his bodily fluids analysed by his own law enforcement agencies Ole Spunky launched a strike on some supposed Al Qaeda base in Sudan ? Turned out to be an old factory.

call me ishmael said...

"Has anyone reminded Mrs Spunky that during the depths of the Monica Lewinsky business, when he was having his bodily fluids analysed by his own law enforcement agencies Ole Spunky launched a strike on some supposed Al Qaeda base in Sudan ? "

Well, I keep trying with that one; also the fact that the great idols of NewLabour roasted a mentally-handicapped black boy, back in Arkansas, to mark Ole Spunky's first Inauguration as Chief Motherfucker.

Still, nice to see her looking so well, eh?

yardarm said...

Just think, Mr Ishmael, that she spent years in the background while Ole Spunky progressed from obscure Arkansas ambulance chaser to Chief Motherfucker and fucking anything with a pulse (and getting away with it) then just when she had broken free, had become a Senator and was marking down the job of Chief Motherfucker for herself as compo for the years of pain then this streak of piss from Detroit turns up and snatches her reward from her.

Now, Ole Spunky an obscure lawyer on the make, who got where he did by grinning, smarming, bullshitting, grovelling to Big Money, obsessed with the limelight and enriching himself: I wonder what the Jug Eared Jesus and the other careerist filth of NewLab would find to admire there, eh ?

Toenails has just informed us Top Hat Boy and Detroits` Fourth Greatest Youth Club Organiser ( 1991) are attending a basketball match in Ohio, just like real people. Obviously Cheltenham`s off: some gifts just keep on giving.

call me ishmael said...

I just remember the sea of weeping, cheering, wetknickered NewLabs at one of their stage-managed rallies being addressed by William Jefferson and thinking to myself, These fucking stupid bastards are nothing to do with the Labiur movement, they are just applauding a two-time clss traitor.

Certainly Tony and Imelda have studiously followed the Clintons' example when it comes to self- enrichment.

Maybe at the basketball game, the Unelected One will be reminding Obama about how we were the Junior Partner in the Battle of Britain. A proper Tory party would have thrown him out for that

jgm2 said...

Do they not have television in America? Why the fuck would anybody fly an hour and a half to watch a college basketball game? Basketball has to be the shittest excuse for a sport since synchronised swimming. I know Omaha is into basketball being (supposedly) his sport of choice growing up in Hawaii but you'd have thought Cameron would have made his excuses and left. 'Basketball? Basketball? Are you out of your fucking mind Omaha..'?

Folk who have been in the presence of 'great' leaders like Bill Clinton, aye, and even Ian Paisley too bizzarely, will tell you that before you even know they've entered the room the hairs on the back of your neck stand up on end. There is some sixth sense that detects these fuckers. I'm not hearing that said about Omaha. Or Cameron. Particularly not Cameron.

call me ishmael said...

It's election year, mr jgm2, and this is a US photo-op, which the Junior Partner is happy to provide, too stupid to know that he's being used. Or just not caring, I mean, here he is, a not very good dilletante PR man and bozo, walking right alongside PROTUS. Doesn't matter that his dinner guest and close neighbour has just been nicked. Man's a bigger cunt than Gordon Snot.

Dick the Prick said...

I'm no balistics expert but from my experience of watching the infinite number of CSI TeeVee programmes that are on all the time (although they did show old Last of the Summer Wine progs recently and they were really funny and fantastically caught Yorkshire Women's attitudes to blokes - my best chum grew up in Holmfirth and Cleggy used to always chat with the extras and hand out cakes, cool dude) but those injuries seem to have been made with exploding bullets; it's the little touches, the detail that shows he cared!

jgm2 said...

Man's a bigger cunt than Gordon Snot.

Let us not get carried away Mr I. The man may yet prove himself to be a bigger cunt than the Maximum Imbecile but I'll need to see solid evidence that he's engineering a total economic clusterfuck rather than trying to clear up after one.

As far as I'm concerned his biggest fuck-up so far is to not do as the Icelanders did and lay criminal charges against Brown for financial treason. If nothing else it would flush out the lunatics who are still supporting the Imbecile rather than allowing them to downplay their part in the debacle and blame it all on the banks.

call me ishmael said...

If you mean, by clearing up the mess, burning the wheelchairs, privatising the hospitals and eneriching his own rotten caste, then he does deserve some credit for that.

That's not what I mean, though, mr jgm2. Just in sheer, utter cuntishness I doubt that Flashman has an equal in modern politics, not one that we see in the daylight, anyway.

Woman on a Raft said...

Like those celeb photos the Krays used to adore. I can see what is in it for Dave to be photographed next to the President, but I can't see what Seaweed hopes to get out of it; his voters are notorious for not knowing or caring where Engerlandland is, and I can't think of any particular reason why they should.

They are probably thinking Princess David has changed her hair colour.