Wednesday, 14 March 2012


Hey, Dave;  you want I should extradite this ginger bitch, Woods, and put her in Ultra Deep Maximum Security for a few years?  I can, y'know,  just like that, and it'd be legal, ask  your home seckatry,  that old broad with the kinky shoes.  Or mebbe I should get one of these dudes to pop a cap in her scrawny ass.  I can do that, too;  or maybe a drone strike in Chipping Whoosits?

Gosh, thanks, Bar, but we'd prefer that you kept that sort of thing for people who don't, like the Murdochs do,  have any dirt on me,  y'know, innocent people.  Anyway, I believe  in giving guilty people a second chance, that's the kind of prime minister I am.

You mean as well as being the unelected kind?


Dick the Prick said...

'A rare honour to travel on Air Force 1' according to Mark Mardell (BBC's North American editor and peado in chief)- an honour? I'm sure it's very nice but it's hardly a fucking Ferrari, it's a fucking jumbo with a few comfy chairs and I dare say a decent drinks cabinet. Hmm...think i'd refrain from creaming myself at such a 'rare fucking priveledge'. The fucking meeja are as bad as any cunt in this vortex of bullshit.

In Private Eye there's a nice little story of Osborne fucking off to some RAF base so officers could say, 'hey, look you, ya cunt, these cuts are taking the biscuit what what?' and apparently Oik fucked them all off and went for a flight in one of those ridiculously expensive Typhoon planes that cost £70k a flying hour and then ignored them all as time is scarce dontcha know? Utterly cuntish no doubt, potentially even corrupt, but fully understandable. Certainly better than getting moved up from steerage to go watch a fucking basketball game and 'chow down' on some really quite suspicious looking hot dogs.

Trollop said...

"You mean as well as being the unelected kind?"

So....there are other kinds????

yardarm said...

When Brooks and Coulson etc turn on the t.v. and if they miss Brillo ( he`s got another new show. No. Really) then they`ll probably catch Alastair Campbell. They must think " Fuck me, this cunt helped ignite a war and here he is pontificating on everything under the sun and here am I, heading for the slammer ".

Dropped like a hot rivet by Rupe (who`s probably hired Ernest Saunders as his new image consultant), shunned by all those coppers they dined with and had columns written under their names, cold shouldered by those politicians who slimed and whined for preferment.

The bitter hacks and executives, left for dead by their erstwhile protectors and those who toadied to them, resentful, soft chair polishers panicked by dawn arrests have every reason to squeal, grass and cut deals to save their own sweating skins. They have little left to lose. And the number can only grow.

But there are too many powerful interests, too many with dogs in the fight to let this one continue. How are they going to create a Move Along Now scenario ? A fuckfest of further economic Ruin and a war ?

a young Anglo-Irish catholic said...

Great line in today's telegraph story about 'gay maariage' and the concern the next step will be the pink axegrinders taking the Churchs to court to force them to hold same-sex marriages.

'Meanwhile, Tony Blair, the former prime minister who converted to Catholicism, has been rebuked by the Vatican over his support for the reforms.'

'Archbishop Rino Fisichella, who heads Pope Benedict’s Council for the New Evangelisation, said Mr Blair needed to “examine his conscience carefully”.

Lovely. Vatican thinks Blur has a conscience.

call me ishmael said...

You're right. Something must be done.

Maybe the real Tories'll do something. In Macmillan's time Flashman would've been out on his arse by now, over first Coulson and now the ginger hag.

Given that Milliband and Co would get stuffed at any election, might the Tories ditch both Cameron and the gimp, Clegg, and take a chance?

Woman on a Raft said...

Given that Milliband and Co would get stuffed at any election

By no means as clear as you might think, not from dahn sarf.

It's not so much that people would vote for Labour but that the party's remaining core may yet outnumber the combined LDs and Conservatives, so long as Scotland remains represented at Westmonster.

With an unerring sense of aiming directly at their own toes, Cameron has allowed himself to be dragged in to an unnecessary fight about gay marriage. It is by no means as widely held as he thinks that this will cause him to be swept along on the shoulders of grateful millions. The child benefit thing was thought, last year, to be a calculated example of making it clear he would not be deterred. Turns out he's just manky at spotting obvious hefferlump traps, even when they are explained to him. What idiocy was it to get caught saying you wanted to nudge granny in to moving house.

The Conservatives have barely a minibus load of MPs I could bear to be in the same room as. It's not just Cameron; who can suppress the gag reflex when offered the chance to vote for Ken Clarke or Caroline Spelman?

My unflattering conclusion is this: tribal Labour is just a wee bit thicker and more deluded than Conservative tribal, and hence slightly less likely to change their vote. Look at Gillian Wotsit.

The Conservative tribal voter is having more and more trouble liking his/her party which is fucking-off its core voters repeatedly - which is what lost them the 1997 election. They are just that little bit brighter - about the same as a rhino - so there will come a point where they will charge at Cameron and either remove him or stay away from the ballot box. That point is usually something to do with property or pensions, so next week's budget will be interesting.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, that's right, mrs woar, and is probably my own - more considered - view, and my own instinct, the Labour Tribe is more stalwart and steadfast than the Tory one, many of whom are Thatcher-minted greedybastards, not dyed in the wool. And yes the LibDems would surely collapse and their vote defect - revert? - to Labour.

What happened was that I had been trawling skymadeupnewsandfilth online and all of them had polls showing, they claimed, that everybody and his dog, as well as mr jgm2, trusted this bunch of comically hamfisted shitbags on the economy more than they trusted the nasal mutant and mr and mrs bruiser on the opposite bench and it just sort of washed over me, persuasively, that's what happens.

I don't think Ed the Dead is more palatable than Flashman and Maude and Spivsley and the rest and I wouldn't entrust him with the task of raking my gravel but I think that his party's grass roots are deeper and of course the LibDem roots - the activists', anyway, are also on Labour soil - Baroness Williams, however, must account for herself before the great National Executive Committee in the Sky.

I would speculate, further, that many of those in Scotland who voted for the Tribesmen in despair at NewLabour might now, facing full frontal separatism, revert to their Auld party.

Yes, I was entirely wrong. Good job someone's watching me.