Professor Doctor David Gay, off the telly.
Look I simply put it to you ....shut up, I'm a famous telly historian, listen to me and you might learn something...I simply say that all black men are gay. David Lammy's a gay black man but in a decent white sort of way. And all...oh do shut up, I've been on Jamie's Magic School.... and all white men are gay,too. And all women. Black ones. White ones, gay, all of them . And you, Emily, you too
Yes, Dearie, you too, no use telling me you're not a carpet muncher, I am a very famous historian and I know these things. Almost everone in history is gay. That Enoch Powell speech, it was Rivers of Sperm you know, originally. Mmmmm.
Are you seriously suggesting that I'm gay, me???
Well, of course you are, it's nothing to be ashamed of, perfectly normal, all important people are gay.
Well, I'll have you know that I am a serious journalist which is why I take every opprtunity I can to show my arse to the viewers, or anyone who'll look, really.