Wednesday 18 June 2014



Tapeworm, jeremus paxmanus,
finally, at huge salary, expenses and pensions cost,
 ejected from the anus of UK current affairs teevee.

from the Filth-O-Graph:
.......He will continue to present University Challenge and other occasional projects for the BBC. 
When his departure was announced, BBC director-general Lord Hall

Tony Hall,
the Nonce Protector-General of the PBC

praised Paxman as “a rare and dazzling talent”, adding: “He has a unique ability to create moments of real discomfort for politicians and memorable delight for audiences. (No, he fucking doesn't, don't talk shit.)
“For that cussed brilliance and much more besides, the BBC and our audiences will always be in his debt.” 

from the Daily Filth:

 Good, isn't it, we have paid Paxman in the region of twenty five million pounds for a few hours so-called work per week  and yet... 

".......our audiences will always be in his debt.” 

These luvvie people; they have, as they say in Belfast, no skin on their faces. 

Fuck Lord Hall and fuck Jerry Paxman and fuck the BBC, burn the fucking place down. It's the only 
 thing they'll understand. 
Patten, too, hang the fat, greedy, useless bastard.


H said...

Couldn't agree more, throw the TV in the trash and don't pay the telly tax, get your news and entertainment right here!

Bastards couldn't spend our money on these talent-less tossers if we didn't give it to them in the first place.

DtP said...

It's almost unwatchable. I don't understand how it's possible to take something so simple and present it so poorly. What the hell happened to news coverage when they gibber on about 'analysis' - it's not pigging analysis - it's presenting nuggets of information in a way as to deceive the viewer, the reader, the punter.

At least Ch4 News is totally telegraphed as up it's own arse pointlessness but Newsnight seems like a sort of spin off Jeremy Kyle type drivel fest. Crikey, when I have watched it, which is rare these days, I've had to pop radio 4 on for today in parliament to attempt to get something vaguely related to current affairs. Man, we'd be better off reading the Daily Mail it's so crap these days.

Yeah, see ya Jezza, don't let the door hit ya on the way out, eh? Tosser.

call me ishmael said...

And don't forget Ems, mr dtp, Emily HorseFace, tottering about in her bondage boots, her skirt 'round her arse and Kirsty Crow, Stephanie Flanders, Allegra Stratton, Michael Crick and Paul Mason, I doubt that between them they could publish a school magazine and yet we hurl millions at them.

It all does seem to be in an accelerating, precipitous decline, not just the teevee but, have you noticed, the broadsheets grow dumber by the day and seem to be closing-off their columns to public comments, unless they are along the lines of Oh, my dear Lord Tebbit, I cannot thank you enough, Sir, for talking to us in your much missed, no-nonsense way, we ordinary English yeomen cannot thank you enough blah blah blah.

I think yours is the right decision, mr H, and I wish you could come around here and persuade mrs ishmael of its merits.

Paxman, for those interested, bids his viewers Adieu later tonight.

jgm2 said...

Thank goodness you're back Mr I.

jgm2 said...

Thank goodness you're back Mr I.

call me ishmael said...

You, too, mr jgm2.

call me ishmael said...

You, too, mr jgm2.

Anonymous said...

Glad you haven't hung up your keyboard.

PS surely that dreadful Clarkson moron should be on a list of grossly-overpaid BBC scum?


call me ishmael said...

The pro-Clarksonites always insist that Top Gear - ie Jerry - earns its producers huge amounts from overseas buyers. But you can also argue that about heroin, child pornography, slavery and GlobaWar.

Trashy, shallow and ignorant, he is just one facet of Ruin's lowest common denominator success, mr vincent, and like Mr Paxman, looking old, phoney and sounding tongue-tied.

Woman on a Raft said...

Oh dear, I missed it due to being out having fun, which I've decide to have more of.

I do not resent some of these prices but it depends on the person. Brucie, for example, has always just been a show compere. If it had meant doing summer seasons on holiday camps for all his life, that is what he would have done. It's a skill of sorts.
He got lucky, though, and was put under the magnifying lens of the TV camera. He carried on doing his job, getting the magnified wage and being thankful for it.

It's when they have gone straight in to telly and really think they are doing a fantastic job that it annoys me.

callmeishmael said...

Michael Howard and Paxman reprised their infamous Derek Lewis contretemps. Honest, not invent, just as we said, BAFTAs all around for two old Tory tarts. That's right, about Forsyth, and at least hev can sing and dance, even play the piano, grotesque, mind, but a learned skill set, nonetheless.

Woman on a Raft said...

Not invent? Well, I'm glad I opted for the social life while it was a nice warm evening.

History note. I have sympathy for Howard on that one. Both Balls and Howard were faced with state employees who were rubbish but could sit there smugly behind the wall of employment law which protects dunderheads.

Lewis should have sacked the Parkhurst governor, and here is why.

Keith Rose, who led the break out, is a plausible person. Unfortunately, he is also a dangerous fantasist. In my opinion, not being a clot of a psychiatrist or psychologist, Rose needs to be living out his life quietly supervised in Broadmoor where his rich interior life can go on safely.

Rose managed to make the prisoners think he could get them off the island. The best he might have managed would be piracy; to force a boat owner to take them over. He could not sail and he could not fly a plane. Never mind what idiots think. He once took an introductory flight and has sat next to a pilot, but other than that his experience is strictly flight simulator. His fellow escapees were lucky the police found them before he got them drowned by trying to cross the Solent on a li-lo, or stole a plane and crashed off the cliff at Bembridge.

Safe-keeping is the basic job, and in this the governor failed.

Bungalow Bill said...

I have read some Lewis Lapham after your recommendation. Superb prose. HIs essay on living in the face of death is wonderful. Thanks.

callmeishmael said...

Ah, Lewis Lapham, I still await the first of my quarterlies, mr bungalow bill and don't know if I should approach it wearing acid proof clothing, his satires ooze and drip the stuff, poison premier cuvee, appellation controlee, the quarterly is not all Lapham, he edits it. I will let you know how I find it but you will know, now, what I mean, the benchmark he sets, only he can match.
Beware, lest Captain Marvel zap you, right between the eyes.

I didn't know or I didn't remember, mrs woar, the background to the Derek Lewis affair, what I do recall from that period is hearing Howard telling oily lies on the Today programme, first thing and telling the same, expanded, oilier lies on The World Tonight. I loathed him then, I loath him now, he was wrong, smugly and facetiously wrong about prison and like so many of his ilk on all sides has compounded and aggravated the criminality facing the nation, that it is currently falling is due to demographics - we are older and as people age they abandon crime and deflation - you can buy a DVD player for less than twenty quid - has made the burglary game not worth the candle. Prison works, anyway, in his mantra, only for poor people, rich criminals, like Laws, don't go to jail and rich criminals who do, like Huhne, come out to a job with the Guardian and the BBC.

What I saw of Lewis, by the way, I didn't care for, and I am grateful, as ever, for your encyclopaedial knowledge. Sharon Shoesmith won her appeal, didn't she?

call me ishmael said...


I have just read that essay on dying, mr bungalow bill, and I must say that Lapham is made of stronger stuff than I, acceptance and acquiescence form no part of my approach. Lapham, though, has the strength - not to mention the scholarship and affluence - of both father and grandfather upon which to draw; I have none such. Being neither scholar nor aesthete and being poor, Death frightens me.

I didn't read it terribly closely but I noticed that there were at least a couple of Hamlet's soliloquoys re-hashed, not quite as though they were his own thoughts but uncredited. Not the end of the world, that, I do it a lot, quote without attribution but not in the sense that these odd sentences are part of a self-built edifice of Reason and Understanding; in my case it is more of what is called, here, in cyberspace, a hat-tipping.

It is, nevertheless, Lapham's, exquisitely beautiful writing and as I have mentioned previoulsy, I hav ebeen known to read football reviews for the grace of theiur authorship.

Woman on a Raft said...

"Sharon Shoesmith won her appeal, didn't she?"

I think so. Be a shelf stacker and you'll be on a zero hours contract and chucked off that if you don't put out for the shift manager - and you'll still have to do all the shelf stacking and be thankful for it.

Be a prison governor who cannot keep people inside, or a head of social services who cannot keep her social workers in line despite the pay and pension, and the judiciary will run round to say how terrible it is that a professional person can be sacked for gross incompetence. My goodness, being dismissed is for one's domestic staff, surely?

I was about to offer you a tiny piece of good news about a judicial inquiry in to Fulford LJ but I see that the Office of Covering Things Up has decided that the complaints were without substance.

For some bizarre reason, they seem to think that this is convincing. Bollocks. It is all covered by the phrase: Big Jock Knew.