Wednesday, 20 April 2011


 Captain Flashman, at military training college

 By the right, quick march into Vietnam-style disaster.
Right, right, right-right-right.

Adhering to his theme of cuts not being cuts, unemployment not being unemployment, inflation not being inflation and university fees not really going up, even though they are,  the unelected prime minister, Mr David Flashman  and his slaphead chum, Mr William Miscarriage Hague,  insisted today that British troops going into Libya weren't British troops going into Libya but something else entirely - they were British Troops Going Into Libya In An Advisory Role, it wasn't a question of them being soldier-type troops, fuck no, these were just officer soldiers, so not really soldiers at all, more like troops, but not really troops, more like social worker troops, peace troops, with pistols, but not the sort of pistols used for shooting people, well, not exclusively for shooting people, anyway. Asked what else you might use pistols for, the unelected prime minister siad that pistols could be used for humanitarian purposes such as knocking-in tent pegs. Yes, yes, hammers and mallets were the proper thing but they couldn't be used for shooting Libyan conscripts, not that the British troops, who weren't troops, anyway, would be doing that shit, at least not unless they had to, in about a week's time.. Or whenever.  


mongoose said...

I heard this on the radio this afternoon. You would have thought, given the vast array of Oxford PPE Firsts available, that some blighter would have said "'Military Advisers', didn't they use that phrase in Vietnam all those years ago? Let's call them something else, shall we?" The V-word was certainly the first thing that came to my mind. That bodes well, does it not?

call me ishmael said...

It is Flashman's vanity at the heart of it, since when has somebody like him given a flying fuck about humanitarianism, that's not how we get large country estates. I think he's after some of that All across the telegraph, his name it did resound stuff. Hague, too, the wretch.

These cruise missiles, they cost about a half a million quid each, that's a lot of wheelchairs, especially when we've fired-off a hundred or two. Oh, if tears were the only thing it would all end in.

Mike said...

Mr I. I may have misunderstood your last posting, but Dave's been getting a thrashing over on the Telegraph.

You comment on missiles and wheelchairs reminds me of a project I was involved in many years ago for the old DHSS. I am not lying when I tell you that the DHSS was buying artificial limbs for ex-servicemen from Krupps in Germany.

Dick the prick said...

America, those dudes who saved us in 1940 apparently! - are doing strange economics. I did one of those public sector application forms the other day and got 'timed out' after i'd completed it all with no way back so wasted 4 hours...quite angry.

Cameron is struggling

Snarkfondler said...

Was the picture at the head of this section taken when he was known as Deirdre?

General Dogsbody said...

Barry Obama is sending 'armed drones'. That's not a very nice way to descibe the GI's.

mongoose said...

Saint Poly Styrene has died. Evensong - by your leave, Mr I. Saw this lot long, long years, eons ago. Fantastic days.