Saturday, 21 January 2017



The white, middle-class, Oxbridge, neo-liberal opinion-sheet which today damns the democratically-elected Trump, which supported the Coalition Lib-Dems,  Tory Austerity, the NewLabour betrayal of Corbyn; which  seeks to overturn the Brexit result,  which supported Hillary Clinton and now relies upon advertising revenues generated by shameless click-bait articles, is reaching for the liberal begging bowl:

Since you’re here…

…we have a small favour to ask. More people are reading the Guardian than ever but far fewer are paying for it. And advertising revenues across the media are falling fast. So you can see why we need to ask for your help. The Guardian's independent, investigative journalism takes a lot of time, money and hard work to produce. But we do it because we believe our perspective matters – because it might well be your perspective, too.

If everyone who reads our reporting, who likes it, helps to pay for it, our future would be much more secure.

Already trashed by previous editor, Alan Arsebridger, 

I'm paid half  a million pounds a year because I'm worth it .
No, no my successor gets nowhere near that sum, and no, it's not because she's a woman - this IS the Guardian, for fuck's sake - it's just because she's not a man.

the Guardian, once a fine, principled  independent broadsheet, is now an improbably pious  mouthpiece for pompous irrelevance; stupid and sanctimonious writers like Jonathan Freedland, Polly Toynbee and the irritant pipsqueak, Owen Jones, promise a just-around-the-corner Jerusalem, which can be reached if only we embrace every lunatic, hateful branch of  identity politics which grows  from the Tree of Spite, every bizarre, minority, sexually aberrant screech must be heard and obeyed, there is but one true, hipster path,  signposted by clearly disconnected, unrepresentative, smug, lazy, so-called journalists, and an overarching media management corporate structure.

I sometimes give a bit of money to lost causes. I sent fifty quid to the Jail Blair Committee and I give wikipedia an annual sum, so I'm not entirely opposed to giving money to people with more money than me, so long as I think their aims and actions just, but the Guardian, well, I'd rather take  money down the garden, rip it up  and put it in the compost.
As the Guardian, today, roared its approval of the IdiotMarch - 

 funny how all these PussyHats never picket the Saudi Embassy, perhaps Muslim despots stoning and beheading and flogging their sisters to death is a much lesser crime that Trump's alleged groping of them, and that Hillary's soliciting of their funds must make them OK, right-on, the horrible, hook-nosed, coke-snorting, whoremongering child molesting fuck pigs - its writers cried Foul, Hillary won the popular vote, they whined, she should be President, and you  just know  that  had Hillary won, those same worthless hacks would be piously defending the Electoral Colleges system which saw Trump victorious.  It is exactly the same with Brexit, had the people voted as instructed by the verminous Cameron and Osborne there would now be no talk of a re-run or of voter confusion and stupidity. These people, marching today, they are the truly anti-democratic,  they are the anti-poor, the pro-torture, the pro-corruption, they are the new totalitarians, for them the only choice tolerable  is their own. This kind of demonstration, opposing  the result of not one but now two democratically arrived-at decisions, this is the stuff of 'thirties Germany  Let these fucking idiots  forego their Starbucks, and their Gap Years,  let them curtail their i-thinging, let them support the Guardian, let them march, let them rally, torchlit, as they define the new Reich.
It'll save them having to think.


Mike said...

The Anglo-Saxons are showing the way. Call me a naive old fool if you will, but I have bigly hopes for Trump. He has just given Mrs Askey the biggest Christmas present she will ever receive.

The question now is what will Old Europe do in the upcoming elections in France and Holland. Turn inward, and await the inevitable? Or embrace the brave new world? If Mrs Askey plays her cards right, and a 10-year old could do that for her, then she will insulate the UK from whatever Europe does. The world is a big place.

Bungalow Bill said...

Should be nailed to the door of every Church of Stupidity in the land. There are many of them.

Woman on a Raft said...

For a long time now virtue-signalling has been fostered as a supreme virtue. People are very attached to it and do not seem to be able to see the difference between doing something and gassing about it, preferably ordering someone else to spend their time and money doing it.

You should preach us a sermon, Mr Ishmael, on how to tell virtue from faux virtue because I am becoming confused. For instance, Metro reports that a Starbucks worker - and that has got to be near the bottom of the pile - made a joke in very poor taste about a customer. The worker wrote: R R R Richard on the cup, which the customer took very unkindly as he had a stammer. The customer complained and the worker was - allegedly - sacked, or at least suspended pending disciplinary action.

I can see that this is a case of taking a 'colleage' out to the stock cupboard and explaining in blunt terms that the idea is to sell the fools expensive coffee, not to upset them and make them run to another shop. But suspension? Sacking? And then the awful comments below the line all gearing up to say how dreadful this is, the worst thing which could happen to a customer, like a war crime, no different to shoving poison in the cup... and I do not think this is just trolling. They are not going after anyone with power; just a bod who makes hot drinks and lacks tact.

Maybe it is me who is going adrift?

call me ishmael said...

Morning, mr mike. It is a huge boost, certainly, although many will see it as worse than baby-raping and will call poor Tracey the worst thing since Neville Chamberlain, a man too harshly maligned, I feel - he had seen WW1 and did not want to see it repeated and it can be argued that his attempted conciliation gave Britain time to re-arm, a little. I don't think he could have stopped Hitler and his nation and if he was mistaken in his actions it was honestly so, unlike Tony Blair and many in the current parliament.

If the Labour parties oppose a US/UK super-alliance they may revive their fortunes amongst such as those marching today but they will lose what chance there is of winning an election - UKIP will bury them; if they embrace the proposed deal they may as well openly be the Tories, as well as clandestinely.

I think that the yelpers do not realise that times have changed and that overt and oppressive racism or sexism would not readily be tolerated, it isn't the 'thirties. Neither Farage or le Pen or indeed Trump are Hitler. And anyway, these skriking fuckers know nothing of history, or anythung else, best dressed morons in history.

One of the things which is so aberrant among protesters is their fury at the idea of a wall - more likely a fence - between two countries, something which seems perfectly reasonable, it is not a proposed wall across a city, like the Russians did in Berlin or the Israelis do in Jerusalem, but just a properly defined border, enforced when necessary, as Mexico does with migrants from South America attempting to illegaly enter their country. If people want the benefits of infrastructure, defence, housing, transport, health care, welfare and education then they must realise that these cannot be supplied to an infinite number of uncontrolled, polyglot, multi-cultural, multi-faith immigrants; if we want a free-for-all then Mrs Merkel is the woman for that. I wonder how these fucking idiot marchers would think if told Oh, fuck me, no, you can't have doors on your houses or walls between you and your neighbours, everyone must be welcome, everywhere, no more nation state, no more private property, No, your wages, you have to share them, yes, with anyone who wants them, otherwise you're a racist and a fascist.

It was Marine le Pen, who said to the half-wit Sackur, M'sieu, there are, conservatively speaking, 240 million people living in war zones, are they all to come and settle in France? And it was Trump who said, let us make safe zones, good zones in these regions, and let the Saudis and others pay for them. I saw a show recently about Sothebys, the auctioneers to the crooks, and the Saudi contingent of customers was truly revolting, one fucking sneering arsehole had bought hundreds of Rolex watches, not the cheap couipla grand ones that he gives to fawning British sportspersons and entertainers but the fifty-grand rarities, he just couldn't resist them, the cunt, while his so-called leaders bomb the shit out of Yemeni civilians and Merkel invites them to flee to Munich and Berlin, Trump clearly has the right of that one.

I don't entirley share your optimism, mr mike, but he's not my president, which is something these fools don't realise, he's America's; he won, as fair and square as Obama, fairer and squarer than Dubya.

Is all this marching shit going on Down Under?

Woman on a Raft said...

Stolen from elsewhere for Mr Mike:

"Looks like Trump had more fat women walking in 1 day than Michelle was able to do in 8 years."

call me ishmael said...

It was mr tdg, mr bungalow bill, used to chide me for my expressed concern for "the people"; sometimes, more and more, I have to remind myself that these fucking idiots are only some of the people, proper people remain, doing proper jobs, discharging proper duties. There was a receptionist at a clinic I attend, 54, low-key, probably minumum wage, but always cordial, helpful, considerate; she just dropped down dead the other day. I wonder what her family think of these partying imbeciles and their facetious concerns.

Alan Cromwell said...

Ah, the brave marchers, marching against all evils, but mostly misogyny. I remember well when they massed on the streets worldwide after it was revealed Spunky Bill received a blowjob from an intern.

Of course "he did not have sex with that woman" so I guess everything was OK.

One wonders how these fools can be so gullible.

call me ishmael said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
call me ishmael said...

I dunno, mrs woar, the Sufis will have something and the Saviour said, fuck all this show-off charity shit, you have to do good namelessly or else it's just PR, and if you're giving someone a few quid, keep it secret, God already knows about it, and He's the ony one who matters, when it comes to charity, keep it secret, even from yourself, let not your left hand know what your right-hand is doing.

I wonder if that money-grubbing, black-souled, chortling narcissist, Wogan, knew the terrible harm he was doing, with all that showy, self-congratulatory fund-raising.

When I read comments like yours, above, mrs woar, that's the time I feel on my cheek the hot breath of the Jihad, and consider it apt.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, Mr Cromwell, that vile lawyers' sophistry, I-did-not-have-sexual-relations-with-tha-woman, but it got better, later, when asked, is the relationship ongoing? he replied That-depends-on-what-your-definition-of-the-word-is-is. And all the while feminist heroine, Hillary, was deploying the full weight of the US government on a young starstruck woman sexually abused by her husband, the most powerful man on Earth.

These marchers, they need one of the former mayor's waterr cannon turned on them, for their crimes against women.

Mike said...

Of course we have marchers, down here, Mr I. We're a civilised country, dontchaknow? I'm not sure they are clear what they are marching for, though? Its the 'je suis' feeling, and nothing better to do on a Sunday. We also have the drive-your-car-into-a-crowd movement now too, in Melbourne. You can't say we are behind the times, here.

Mrs WoaR: I suspect its feminists who hate Melania, 'cos she looks like a woman, or what women used to look like. And she's intelligent to. And she married a man.

mongoose said...

Virtue is internal, my friends. Any damn fule know that. Liberalism is internal - kindness from inside and not rules for the outside. Any fule know that too. This also defines the problem. A transgender loo in every school or a clean glass of water for everyone. On what shall we spend our hard-won Darwinian command of the planet?

call me ishmael said...

I read about the MallJamboree, but it wasn't a Muslim pseudo-ref so it doesn't count. Anybody marching for the Native Australians, or is it just for the Mexicans and LGBTQers?

I feel a bit for Mrs Trump, she'll need to keep her head down or be ripped to shreds by great thinkers and and humanitarians, like Bob de Niro and Mel Streep, y'know, from Tinseltown, they really care about the Little People in Hollywood, and we are lucky to have them, in this dark hour. They can tell us how to think, cos we're their fans.

Always thought what he did was pornography, de Niro, with that horrid little fuck Scorcese, was it? No matter who it was, they are all as bad. I'd much rather watch people fuck than beat each other to death, honest, and I'm not too keen on that, either, but guilty as charged, me, don't like gangster sadism, I'm a fucking pervert.

Mike said...

Its the little man syndrome, wishing he was bigger, and harder, both de Niro and Scorcese. Quite laughable really, but they made a career of it.

call me ishmael said...

That L, mr mongoose, it's capitalised because it opens a sentence, right, not because it's another word for Susan Fallonism? Well put, though, very good; the glass of clean water, it is my mantra, my prayer, my meditation, porridge gulpers on the Moon and children dying for its want.

Quentin Crisp had a good one, for these quarrelsome fools: Etiquette exists to keep people out, on the most trivial excuse; manners exist to welcome them in.

call me ishmael said...

I never heard of Alec Baldwin but he's doing it, too, maybe they'll all run for Congress, where they can harangue the honourabe gentlemen and gentlewomen from North Dakota or Ohio, and leave the rest of us alone.

Mike said...

Don't worry, Mr I. Payback will be a bitch when The Donald sets his mind to it. And I'm sure he will.

Enjoyed 2016, but 2017 could be better.

Alphons said...

It is as I have said before "The scum always rises to the top!"

Woman on a Raft said...

Truth to tell Mr Mike, I have never looked like Melania even on my best day. Bright side: I have never looked like Michael even on my worst.

call me ishmael said...

The women of Ishmaelia, they have a rare and a copacetic beauty,

mongoose said...

The problem with politics by deceit is that eventually the ripples turn into tidal waves. If your entire arsenal of persuasion is "do as I say or the world will end" then eventualy the world will not have ended enough times that you will be ignored. "No, no, no, I mean this time. The world will really end!" Do fuck off.

Susan, mr ishmael, is a vacuous idiot though he appears to me to be medicated in some way. The wreckage of the Labour vote will soon be on the floor awaiting harvest though.

Mongosling 2 - I mentioned back the way - went on a school arranged visit to Auschwitz. As night follows day, she and her colleague have to give a short presentation to school Assembly. One idea presented to them for inclusion is to draw a parallel bewteen Brexit/Trump/"populism" and the 1930s. "And look where that led?" M2, rather wisely for a kid, said "But she hasn't seen the shoes, has she?" And went on that drawing such easy, lazy sky-will-fall parallels belittles the real dead, demeans us all as we engage in such stupidity, and blinds us all to real horror when it does loom.

And I don't think that I digress to observe that the Royal Charlie is releasing a Ladybird book re climate change! The world falls speechless, parody is obsolete, self-awareness quotient falls to nil. Helpfully:

tdg said...

It amuses me to have escaped the tyranny of ideology that defined the soviet block only to find it descend, darkly, on the western world. It makes me feel strangely at home, back under the old dispensation of silent dissent.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, I remember you querying: ideology or life?

call me ishmael said...

Susan appears to me, mr mongoose, to have the edgy bombast of the guilty, rather than an illness per se. My own guess would be that UKIP will be bringing in the electoral sheaves, see Lady Di, further on up the road.

You are probably too busy to educate-at-home but it must be a temptation; the other thing about ripple effects is that they undermine all previous certainties, the teachers, it seems to me, largely, are stupid, platitudinisers, unlettered, incurious, lazy, indolent, prematurely weary. Hearing of Mrs Askey's proposed reforms to teacher qualification and the need which arises, notwithstanding, for teachers, I sometimes think about a quick Cert Ed or even just applying to a liberal sort of school and chanelling Mr Coe, Miss Boulter or Mister Hill, whilst they live in me, still, until I realise that even if I could get on with the children, I would fail so to do with the teachers.

call me ishmael said...

Poignant, as well as amusing, I imagine, mr tdg, but then they are often the same thing, humour and pain; laugh to keep from crying, sometimes.

Anonymous said...

I wonder what David Icke makes of Trump - no need to postulate a hidden inner lizard with a narcissistic sociopath, it's all there in plain sight. President Peeg digressed during his address to Langley yesterday to recall the number - 14 or 15, he said - of Time Magazine Trump front-covers. Point being that anyone that famous can't be wrong, not bout nuthin. On the other hand Prima Nalmute has a definite saurian sheen.


callmeishmael said...

Just fake news, mr mike, Tom Bratby for ITN in Washington defining all trad mecia as Us and the White House as Them, honest, not invent.