Monday, 23 February 2015


There's no archiving, here, it's all too sporadic, too scattergun but if there was,  all the many Hissing Jack Torture posts and comments would be easily summonsed and make comfortable reading; we have known for decades, for all of his career, that  he is a horrible bastard and no mistake even by the filthy, sewer standards  of NewLabour. That Jack  has now been revealed in just one tiny aspect of his criminality is, I guess, better than nothing.

I watched Straw, lying his face off at the United Nations as Hans Blix insisted that Iraq was in compliance with international demands to decommission and permit the inspection of its rusty old shit bucket weaponry.  Hissing Jack knew better; relishing his role as international statesman,  

War?  Yes, great, I am minded to say, let's kill some niggers, 
present company excepted, in my judgement.

Jack knew that, for his career, his place in history, war was better than peace, knew that this was his big chance to lick the arse of Power.  
Some of the younger Labour women MPs let me fuck them, if I force them,  strictly in the interests of their careers, you understand;
I don't suppose you are minded to....

It is curious that the bigger the honourable member's villainy the higher is the regard in which they are held by their colleagues;  all then present in the House of Commons applauded the crook, Blair, as he left to collect his rewards from GlobaDeath - no wonder  they don't want the Chilcott Report published. The ghastly, cowardly wretches are now falling all over themselves to hosannah the career of the freak, Hague, as he departs, ahead of God knows what scandal; he and his late mistress, Whiskey Maggie, both up to their septic arses in institutionalised beasting and covering-up, in the widespread City corruption of Conrad and Barbara Black whom Hague, in his wisdom, ennobled.

I watched a select committee, discussing Hague's anti-democratic role as Leader of the House, refusing and sidelining debates, misleading and thwarting the will of the Commons, feeble as it is;  save for Jacob Rees-Mogg, it was as though all, even Bill Cash, were anxious to crawl beneath the tables and take their turns fellating the boy lover, the man who shares a bed with a relative child, purely to save money.

Even George Showbusiness Galloway, in a recent debate, stressed his admiration for Hissing Jack and his disappointment in him; most of us rumbled Straw 

back when he had his tongue up  Barbara Castle's ancient, scabby arse;
 it took Armageddon to bring George to his senses about Jack but then he's not the brightest of men, Sheikh bin Galloway.

Malcolm Shouty, too, he and his wife's misuse of MPs' expenses should have seen him thrown-out on his arse and kicked up and down the Mall 

Taxi? To the corner shop?
Yes, dear, the voters'll pay,
'swhat they're for

but no, to compensate him for his embarrassment,  they put a crook, a  noisy, bullying blackguard, in charge of overseeing national security matters, so that he might sell them on to the highest bidders. 

Now that  millions are burned, dead, limbless, refugee  and now that innocents, at home and abroad, lose their heads to Jack's creatures, ISIL, now that Northern Labour is rightly seen as the beast-friendly, vote-rigging corruption that it is, now that the Rednecks are revealed as the hallowed home of tax evasion and money-laundering, the Filth-O-Graph and Channel Four  now take some pains, now arrange some subterfuge in order to tell us what we already know about this pair.

It is true that in the US, Mr Al Capone, a minor gangster by Straw's standards, was finally arraigned and imprisoned on charges relating to his income tax and some might now think that as a result of these similarly relatively minor crimes, Straw and Rifkind will see their uppances finally come, they won't.

Both of these filthsters, unlike Dennis McShane, are in the charmed circle and aside from a little discomfort nothing will happen to them. 

Anyone else, of course, would go to jail on charges of bribery and corruption in public office.   
Geoff Hoon and Patricia Hewitt should have gone straight to jail in the last such cash-for-access sting, nothing happened then and nothing will happen now; haven't both of these criminals referred themselves to a committee of their chums, hasn't Hissing Jack Torture suspended himself  - what is this shit, suspended himself, is there any point whatsoever to Ed Miliband? - from the Labour party? 
 And isn't all this just a measure of how very right honourable these gentlemen are, how fortunate we are to have criminals of such distinction and nobility shitting in our faces? 

Gosh, if only common burglars and bank robbers could temporarily suspend themselves from their guilds, until things blew over. 

No, no, the drug dealing was just boyish high spirits, not as though he was working class, living on a council estate, one of the Underclass. 
And I was the home seckatry.
Yes, a working class kid would have quite properly, in my judgement, gone to jail. 
He was a good kid, actually, Will. 
And I'm minded to say that he'll make a splendid Labour MP. 
A bigger cunt than me, even.

Rifkind, like so many Tories in parliament,  is just a grubby, gobby crook, three years in jail would settle his hash. Straw, though, however lawyerly his excuses, smug his demeanour, superscilious his sneer is a nonce-protector, a vote-rigger, a major war criminal, a thief and a torturer and on his rapsheet this lobbying stuff is neither here nor there;  we should not be sidetracked into thinking that this is important, Jack Straw is no mere hustler;  Jack Straw, alone, without any assistance from MediaMinster's crime family, makes a compelling case for Up against the wall, motherfuckerism.


mongoose said...

A heart of stone is needed.

How stupid can two people be? But here we see proof psoitive - cheeks of the same arse. All in this together.

Bungalow Bill said...

Rees-Mogg's an interesting one. A prick in many ways I've always thought but he has a brain and is a fluent speaker. He also tells the Whips to fuck off if he wants and seems to have some sense of parliamentary value. Was he impressive in the committee you saw?

Mike said...

What really shocks me in this is just how cheaply these cunts can be bought for. Those lower down the tree can't be making much. It wouldn't take many millions to get the bastards to pass some proper laws and get the country back on its feet.

Anonymous said...

on radio5this morning they gave 40 minuets to try and defend his position ,it was a of load bollocks he spewed out the nonsense how he has served Blackburn for 30years as upstanding and honest mp.the man wants taken away and having 40mm shell shoved up his orafice,

Alphons said...

What we need is a totally new system of government.
"Of the people, by the people, for the people,"
It has gradually got worse since Labour came on the scene, (though it was not particularly democratic before that).
We can, however, see the gradual levelling out of greed and dishonesty, self importance and lust. Sadly it is levelling out downwards and ere long the bottom will be reached....not that many bottoms have not already been reached.

SG said...

What I find interesting is that they were caught out like this. Given the precedents one might think people in such positions would assume that:

1. All approaches of this kind are potential sting operations until proven not to be;

2. Leverage the vast diplomatic and intelligence contacts that they purport to have to check out the credentials of said parties (alternatively a few minutes work on the Internet might reveal the smell of rat...).

Makes you wonder if the advice that they offer represents good value for their clients.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, mr bungalow bill, at least, he was head and shoulders above the rest of the committee, although that's not saying too much. Like wotsisname, Rory Stewart, J R-M is too bright for his own good.

call me ishmael said...

Lucky Blackburn, I remember hearing Straw comment that Actually do you know what, I sometimes go to my constituents and listen to what they have to say. If was one of his usual, I was minded too, in my considered judgement, clearly, on balance and in a very real sense displays of conceit, y'know, as though he was a thinker, measured, magisterial; served him well, all that cheeky fucking rubbish.

My late friend used to attend meetings with Straw and pronounced him Actually Very Good, at playing at being home seckatry; mind you, he also treasured a signed copy of the Welsh windbag's autobiography; sometmes I wondered what we had in common, beyond our differences.

I didn't hear the Radio 5 piece but I can imagine it all too well; he's one of those faux football supporters, isn't he, like most of them; operagoers in reality, pretending to be mad about the local team. I would love to hear just one MP having the balls to say, I fucking hate fucking football.

call me ishmael said...

It is nothing compared with what the Clintons charge, mr mike but five grand a day seems an awful lot of money for a gabshite like Straw for, as mr sg says, both of these clowns seem to be spectacularly stupid.

call me ishmael said...

No, mr alphons, you are wrong, I have just seen Mr Straw and hus remedy for all this is that we simply must pay high calibre people like himself far more money. If we want to retain them.

yardarm said...

Straw was one of the first SPADS, to Barbara Castle. Even Harold Wilson tried to stop the worthless bastard getting his lips on the public teat but the cunts been there ever since. As you say, Mr Ishmael, an accomplice to Tony Warcriminal.
The other prick, Filthkind was bleating today that no professional person could live on a mere sixty grand a year. I didn`t realise he was a professional, just thought he was some kind of ambulance chaser.

Upagainstthewallmotherfuckerism wouldn`t prolong their humiliation. Their (our) assets and property should be seized, they should be turned out in the street in their underpants. Straw`s brat should be put to doing a proper job in in a supermarket or care home instead of assuaging his damned entitlement to some damned big career, with us subsidising the little cunt.

Caratacus said...

As happy chance would have it I have been re-reading E.E. Cummings' "The Enormous Room" and read this piece earlier this morning. I thought of it as you spoke of Straw and Madame Rifkind -

"I gave him a pleasant smile which said, If I could see your intestines very slowly embracing a large wooden drum rotated by means of a small iron crank turned gently and softly by myself, I should be extraordinarily happy --- and I bowed softly and gently to Monsieur le Directeur and I went through the door using all the perpendicular inches which God had given me".

There was a time when your humble correspondent believed that redemption was possible for even the most wicked of men. Not any more he don't ...

SG said...

Galloway, not the brightest of men maybe but bright enough to bring in a cool £300k for his work on behalf of the Ayatollahs and Uncle Vlad last year (the third highest 'earnings' for outside Parliament work of any MP apparently). No wonder he can afford all those designer clothes - though it wouldn't surprise me if he was paid to wear them by the lefty fashonista fraternity:

George, I salute your courage, your strength, and your indefatigability!

SG said...

Get this! Reported in the Filthograph:

"Shortly after the announcement that he had been suspended, Sir Malcolm told the Daily Politics show on BBC Two: 'I do also want to have the standard of living that my previous professional life should entitle me to have'."

Kennedy's oft quoted speech that included this springs to mind:

“Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

OK Kennedy was a rich man too and could afford to make the point but it still resonates.

It's the sense of entitlement that pisses me off - the "do you know who I am?' factor. He's 'entitled' to jack shit as far as I'm concerned. I'm all in favour of people bringing in outside experience into Parliament, there's a woeful lack of it these days but the point is that it should be brought in for the public good - real public service involves an element of self-sacrifice (and there are, of course, plenty of other 'compensations'...). If you don't want to make it then choose another path.

call me ishmael said...

Fashion, It is, indeed, a sorry predicament into which certain older men shoehorn themselves. I - chinos or cords and tee-shirt, this past thirty years - simply cannot understand how a grown man can deport himself with his shirt tails hanging outside his trousers, his pate a-gleam above a snuffler's beard on his chin and tattoos writhing all over his body, an unkempt Illustrated Man, it is beyond me but it is generally none of my business. Galloway, though, his own, luridly dodgy indefatigabilty, thrusts his voice and his image into my face, where his sartorial and facial hair choices, for all their costliness, render him as pitiable, terrified of his own ageing, a tawdry and bizarre self-presentation, half Nehru, half David Beckham.

If, as mr tdg has opined, Galloway, along with Alex Salmond, is among the most able politicians of his generation it is little wonder that parliamentary democracy is such an oxymoron, that the Representation of the People is now, as Galloway demonstrates, a branch of showbusiness.

Perhaps, mr sg, it was, all along, Jack Straw's earnings, rather than his socialism which George so admired.

call me ishmael said...

I don't know cummings, king caratacus, sounds good, I must have a look and yes, a lifelong abolitionist, I, NewLabour have kindled within me an unhappy flicker, faintly illuminating the path to capital punishment, have all but extinguished my own former devout belief that none are beyond redemption.

Like mr bungalow bill and others, here, I take the betrayals of NewLabour more personally; the Tories never claimed to be anything other than what they are but Tony'n'Imelda, Snotty, Hoon, BlindBoy Blunkett, Reid, Straw, Milburn, Schmidt, Falconer, the Ballses, Mandelstein,Kinnock, Prescott and Campbell, these are filthy, thieving murderers; charlatans, pimps, slags, extortionists, ponces, nonces and blackmailers and hey are become all these things because we, well-meaning, brought them here.

call me ishmael said...

Bad as they all are, mr yardarm, I do believe that, Austerity be damned, the party of Miliband, for their betrayals and for their cast of grotesques, above, more richly deserves a kicking than do the others. I think that LibLabCon is a handy euphemism for MediaMinster but that there are differences between them and that Labour is the more venal than the others, upon heir heads should Decency's axe first fall.

Dunno if you ever saw the BBC's excellent historical drama series, Churchill's People but here was a memorable scene, quite shocking to me, as a kid, wherin one wicked baron, having slain his adversary in his castle, blesses himself and muttering God speed ye, lad, plunges his bloody broadsword into his dead rival's sleeping infant son. No use, he says to his own liegemen, in killing the wolf and sparing the cub. Will Straw should, at he very least, be barred from holding political office, raised, as he has been, on his hissing father's theft, treason, kidnap, rendition, torture and murder.

Mike said...

"It is curious that the bigger the honourable member's villainy the higher is the regard in which they are held by their colleagues"

Its a badge of honour, Mr I. You can't tell me when they all stood and applauded Blair that they didn't know what a snake he was?

Even Dave said he was the "heir to Blair" - he's not quite there yet, but not far off.

I once appeared before a select committee and they gave me a hard time. Afterwards, one of the red-faced bastards came up and said not to take it personally as it was all for show for the press and plebs - "lets have a drink".

Mike said...

PS: when I was a young lad, easing my way up the greasy pole, I had dealings with Peter Shore and Ian Mikardo. Although I didn't particularly share their politics, it was clear they were men of integrity - intelligent, articulate, and working hard for their constituents in the east-end of London. Maybe I was young & naive, now I'm old & cynical? But something has changed, and not for the better.

Dick the Prick said...


Didn't read a word of it - too many mojitoes and defo need to pull a sicky but your title reassured me. How does Mr Ish see Jack Torture's demise and for the glottal Jock to be ambushed too.

These days are few - bring out yer dead. Oh, to be taken out so cheap! Lovely.


ThomasBHall said...

Have you met any party hopefuls? I was at one time interested in such things and got to know a number of student tory boys. The ones from that group now in with a real chance of getting are the ones that have given up on personal principles and turned to sycophancy. Every Facebook post or tweet a disgusting brown-nosing of Cameron or some other senior tory. Makes me sick. They are not all to the manor born either. To hear a young man argue positions that screw him if he does not get his seat is very sad.

call me ishmael said...

In the same TeeVee session as the one starring Hague and Rees Mogg - the House Business Committee - I watched that rotten cunt, Tim Yeo, chairing another one, bullying the CEOs of half a dozen comparison websites, utterly fucking obnoxious, he was. I'da climbed over the table and punched his fucking teeth out and argued the case afterwards. God only knows, mr mike, what any children or young people viewing him would have made of it. I think I'll send him a cunt mail.

call me ishmael said...

Councillor Les Smith, in Redditch, Mr Hall, he was all the things you say, a Blairite wannabe, Christ I gave him some stick; he never made it, they picked Jacqui Schmidt, instead.

call me ishmael said...

You being happy makes me happy, mr dick, I think the further revelations about Kidnap Jack may yet at least thwart his ambitions to nobility. Prison, of course, would be appropriate for he and Malcolm Shouty but the first duty of parliament is to protect its members from the criminal law and the government from the governed. Tom Watson was interesting, yesterday; it is all, according to him, about Rifkind's chairmanship of the security and intelligence committee, whereas Jack labours under a trivial misunderstanding, done nothing illegal.

mongoose said...

The two armies will try to minimise the failings of their own cockroach while maximising those of the other side's cockroach. If we were at business school we could draw up a little 2x2 chart. Both side's defence box would be "Well meaning; didn't do anything wrong; unfortunate; statesman; huge contribution to public life...". The prosecution boxes are different though. Rifkind: "out-of-touch, idle Tory bastard". Straw: "grasping, vulgarian". The notion that they are all part of the same gaggle of parasites is largely absent.

And who do we think will now inherit the destitute constituents of Hammersmith & Chelsea? And the Intel and Security Committee? And did anyone else not know that Rifkind is the late Leon Brittan's cousin?

Dick the Prick said...


(read it now)

There was / is a bit of latent hatred for Rockets Rifkind. He was a proper cunt. Tom Watson is a bit of a cunt but there are Francis Maude implications and with him comes Letwin. Tenuous but....

It's a good day dude, the Iraquis won't taste the zest but we can. Today a villian has died.

Events, Dear Boy, events!



Dick the Prick said...

Fuck knows what a Villian is? Jean Claude worried about his sister....

Alphons said...

" call me ishmael said...

No, mr alphons, you are wrong, I have just seen Mr Straw and hus remedy for all this is that we simply must pay high calibre people like himself far more money. If we want to retain them."

I think .303 is the correct calibre for Straw abd the rest of them.

call me ishmael said...

Well, mr mongoose, I, for one. I didn't know Sir Shouty was from such a bad family; he's probably also a member of the parliamentary beasting community, small monstering world, eh?

Dunno about Kensington. Maybe Mr Clarkson, he's qualified, a stupid fat cunt with too much money and a big mouth, they'd love him, with his imbecile bigotry, a typical red-faced braying Tory homo, our Jeremy, he could be party chairman, too, and the answer to the Poundland threat. Clarkson and BoJo, the dream ticket.

call me ishmael said...

I think Jack should be given a nice flight, out of Prestwick, seated in a nice restraint position, with one of those nice bags over his head and given a tour of Uncle Sam's secret torture prisons, mr alphons, and a few days of enhanced waterboarding, at the hands of Freedom's experts. Shooting, one is minded to suggest, is too good for mr mongoose's grasping vulgarian. Always reminds me of one of those thin, overdressed Nazi sadists, does Jack, slapping menacingly at his thigh with a pair of gloves fashioned from the skin of an Iraqi child.

call me ishmael said...

What's that about Ollie Letwin, mr dick, is the invisible man of Weaponised Austerity implicated in all this, on the take, himself, from Jack's furniture Gidfathers?

mongoose said...

I meant no implication towards the beasting, Mr I. It was merely that it is clearly not uncommon for the family business to be being a parasite. Rifkinds, Straws, Kinnocks, Balls, Benns - they are all at it. "All this will be yours one day, lad. I am a parasite, and one day you will be a parasite after me."

yardarm said...

Straw, Campbell, Scarlet, Powell, should all be chained up, leg irons, handcuffs, suits with arrows on it with their former leader, Tony Warcriminal, in the dock, tried, impeached; under charges of waging illegitimate war.

That it has not happened tells you all you need to know re The Guild. The worthless trash, sobbing with chagrin, should be led away to spend a decade as playthings of the lags on E Wing then released to penury and death.

It`s the sense of entitlement that gets me too, more so even than their being wrong, stupid, venal, incompetent, lazy, freeloading cunts. It`s their damned entitlement.

Caratacus said...

Mr Yardarm - I commend your recommendations viz. the chaps you mention. However, I am open to being persuaded that Mr. Capone may have explored a more ... immediate form of justice in days of yore:

yardarm said...

Trouble is, while Straw and the others go whimpering to the block, kneecaps clattering, a scream and a shit and then they`re in the bosom of Satan Blair would be another Thomas Fucking More.

" I die Money`s Good Servant but God`s first ".

SG said...

I note your observations regarding the Labour Party, Mr I. However one could be forgiven for thinking that they are actively trying to lose the election - Milliband appointing the imbecile 'Two Jags' as his personal climate change adviser - I wouldn't appoint the fucker to clean my boots (though arguably he may have some qualifications for this). Many of Labour's policies as crackpot as those emanating from the so-called Greens. Sadly the polls suggest that their efforts may be in vain and that this band of users and thieves will be holding the reigns of power again come May albeit at the price of a poison pill to be swallowed proferred by Frau Sturgeon.

call me ishmael said...

The greater the frequency and venality of these denouments, mr sg, the more fragmented the non-core vote will become and should our aventure Ukrainienne grow hot the greater becomes the need for a GNU. Filthsters like Neil are already saying UKIP has peaked and the Greens have imploded and that we are getting back to the proper business of two-party politics. There are also significant unravellings, here, in the North. The tribesmen are getting stick over NHS Scotland, over schools and surely many, bow unemployed or so threatened will be mocking their pre-Ref position on Holy Oil; furthermore every time that Gnasher opens her gob, those uncensedvby her fourth-formism will grow the more determined to vote elsewhere, tactically. I dunno if you saw it but Tarzan FuckMouth and even CrackWhore Flint both bitch-slapped her all over QT, recently. Murphy, like Ed Miliband, was the wrong choice but he speaks softly, where Gnasher gnashes and rants; she doesn't appeal to grown-ups. Anything may yet happen.

call me ishmael said...

As I said at the top, mr yardarm, if only Jack had been nicked for warmongering, kidnap, torture, murder and treason. For a start.

I believe that Libyan case against Jack still runs, although we will never hear if it in our press, rather like Dave Miliband's efforts on behalf of TortureCorp.

call me ishmael said...

.....incensed by her fourth-formism..... Christ, I hate this i-pad.