Wednesday, 29 April 2015

EXECUTION BLUES.

Albert Pierrepoint was the last great British executioner.  He was so good at what he did that for the Nuremberg hangings he was commissioned into the British Army as a lieutenant-colonel and sent out to hang the Nazis - the ones that weren't any good to the Russians or the Yanks, anyway.

Uncle Sam's necktie artistes were so inept, with their cowboy nooses, that they were either strangling Hermann to death, with shit and eyballs everywhere, or ripping his fucking head off completely. The Limey hangman demonstrated to them the finer points of his trade, despatching the Hermanns neatly and swiftly, ripping-off not even one Kraut head

 Pierrepoint came from a family of hangmen, his Da' and his uncle had been the official executioners for both England &Wales and Ireland, when we still owned her and Albert assisted them both, learning, forgive me, the ropes and when he  inherited the official executioner post and the little case containing the notes and tables on hanging and the deadly little noose he  made a steady living travelling the British Isles, killing people.

He was very adroit, Albert.  He kind of boasted that he would enter the condemned cell as the clock began to strike eight and his client would be dead before the eighth peal of the bell. The condemned cell door would swing open, Morning, old chap, he'd say, grasping the prisoner's hand and quickly walking him to the trap-door in the adjacent cell, the Topping Shop, pinioning his arms as they walked; once on the trap-door Albert's assistant would strap the man's legs together whilst Albert pulled a hood over his head, the assistant would draw back the safety catch on the trap-door and Albert would step back pulling the lever as he went.  The poor bastard never knew what was happening and in most cases died instantly, Albert having carefully calculated the length of his drop by means of reference to  Home Office tables compiled over many decades and by means of his own hangman's eye.  Having, the previous evening,  surreptitiously viewed the man through the Judas hole  in the cell door, Albert would minutely adjust the home office recommendations depending upon the idiosyncracies of each victim's musculature, if he was five feet eight with a thick neck and shoulders  he would need a longer drop than a five feet eight man of slight build. In nearly all of Albert's executions the spinal cord was severed at exactly the right vertebrae to cause instantaneous death.  Just the same, they'd leave him or her hanging there for an hour whilst Albert, the prison Governor  and his guests all went and had a hearty breakfast;  hungry work, hanging. Even so, if, before Abolition, you had been sentenced to death I am sure you would have paid good money to have Albert doing the business for you.

Those horrid, snarling little brown bastards in Indonesia, the ones with too many teeth in their mouths, those ugly little monsters could do with an Albert Pierrepoint, to help them execute people humaneley, well, less inhumanely. Gotta be more economical, too,  one hangman, one fee, one breakast.  I don't know if each of the eight executionees had their own firing squad, all to themselves but if they did that's ninety-six of the little brown bastards  and  nearly a hundred bullets. I was going to say that these shootings have put me in touch with my inner Farage, made me hate every last little angry brown bastard in Indonesia  but I guess he'd applaud the Indonesians' death penalty as being a litle corner of a foreign field that is forever England.



 I don't know what it was, today, why this particular obscenity shook me so  but a huge, red rage overtook me.  If there was an Indonesian charge d'affaires' gaff here, I'd have set fire to it and happily  beaten the diplomats to death, calling them rotten little brown bastards as I did so, cursing their rotten little brown bastard parents and their rotten little brown bastard children. And don't start me about how the NHS would be fucked sideways to Christmas if it wasn't for Indonesian arse-wipers.  I don't care, I don't want to be nursed or tended by nasty, angry little brown bastards, beardy women and angry,  conceited men, fuck 'em.

I read a lot about Pierepoint when I was younger   and was struck not by his humanity, that would be ridiculous, but by his efficiency;  he did that dire duty as well as it could be done and that included sparing the condemned as much distress as was possible, given the circumstances, and sparing him a slow, painful and probably unimaginably humiliating death.  

With these  brown bastards, it is the savagery of the process as much as the cruelty of the fact - shooting someone for something he did a decade ago, when he was someone else -  some poor smallfry, dragging him, screaming,  to a post or a wall, taking aim, firing and then checking that a dozen rounds have done the trick, and all whilst government and lawnforcement cartels grow rich on the continued absurdity of the War on Drugs - the Indonesians are planning to shoot a British granny for handling  three or four kilos of smack, I wonder how many kilos young parent, Sir Elton John consumed, when he was playing-up, Elt; of course, a rich junkie, was soireed in Downing Street, Granny a poor mule, will be shot to pieces.

Little Big Man
President Nasty Little Brown Bastard.
 
 Hanging's too good for them, Indonesians. Another  Boxing Day Tsunami, that's what they need, 
the last one taught them nothing.

55 comments:

Mike said...

Its big news down under - all wailing and bitching in the media - as 2 of the perps were Aussies.

Part of me says they deserved what they got - 8.5 kilos of heroin can destroy a lot of lives. Part of me is revolted by the calculated way the State can kill.

Meanwhile, killing continues as per normal in the badlands of the middle east, only most of those folks will be innocent and unlamented.

DtP said...

Fucking hellski - a bee in your bonnet Mr Smith? I would never neither observe nor infer that you, Sir, had an inner Farage considering this whole thread stands as rage into the wind.

A mirage made in heaven said...

One of the charmingly sweet boastings of the Mirage ménage centres upon the fact that my wife is a relative of Mr. P. and he hanged one of my own errant relatives.

Now that's what I call romantic.

walter said...

Mr Ish,Correct me if i,m wrong does the knot have to be behind the left ear in the northern hemisphere, and vice versa the southern
hemisphere, I also read his book many years ago, and at the end he was anti capital punishment, perhaps he was frightened of his maker!

call me ishmael said...

If memory serves it was the left ear, the drop pulling it around to the front and snapping the neck back. I don't know if that process would be reversed down under but I don't see how it could make any difference, mr walter. I believe that Aussie bath water runs out in the opposite direction but I can't see gravity being any different.

Pierrepoint's biography was strangely warming, some sort of nobility at work, at least that's the way he told it.

Alphons said...

How can killing be a lasting punishment.
Working on a chain gang can be, as can working in a treadmill.These however are looked upon as not being "civilised".

oldrightie said...

"Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing."

Or we make the best of our time on earth. Personally, if some evil shit seeks to threaten my own short existence they deserve all they get.

The State still represents the electorate, if we're lucky. If we're unlucky we get a socialist bunch of wreckers and we're back to Macbeth's words!

I am fortunate so far, to have a pace in no way petty.

call me ishmael said...

I think, mr mike, indeed, I verily believe that it is the overreach of the criminal law and not the substance or the addiction which kills so many, whilst enriching and corrupting a few; people have taken narcotics for millennia without ill effect, in our rush to legislate, control and criminalise we have created a massive, hitherto non-existent, felonious conspiracy in which the small players are killed or jailed, the rich junkie is ennobled and the serious perpetrator gets to run the CIA.

I read that Abbott and. Bishop, on withdrawing their ambassador said that normal service would be resumed as soon as possible; nay-bors, evrybody needs good nay-bors. Mind you, it's not as though those two were proper Aussies, anyway, both being semi-Abo.

I know that hourly more people die in the Middle East but there is just something about the ritualised, cold-blooded state execution which seems more of a betrayal of humanity, more shocking than the mayhem and outrage of political and religious upheaval; if we cannot expect better from governments than from those we term terrorist then what is the point of them?

call me ishmael said...

It is a bee up my arse, mr dick, capital punishment, as vexatious to me as is Mr Vergo to you.

call me ishmael said...

What, with the ghostly paddle steamer, mr mirage, and now the Family Hangman, you should start an entire Romantic Movement, a political party, a cult, even, y'know, like Gnasherism; we'd all join a Mirage Made In Heaven Party. Whaddawewant? Mirages! Whendowewannem? Only in daylight, y'can't see 'em in the dark.

Mirages, make as much sense as Five More Years of LongTermEconomicPlanning from JunkyGeorge.

Anonymous said...

Find, if you can bear to, a documentary called "The Art of Killing", which looks at the paramilitary/gangster slaughter of "communists" (shopkeepers with Chinese immigrant parentage, in other words) in the 60's. These horrible old bastards are proud as fuck of the shit they did; it really chills the blood. I used to think modern Mexico sounded awful but Indonesia seems to run it close.

verge.//

mongoose said...

The mechanics of hanging? There's a cheery thought for a sunny morning. I think Saint Joni might even now write a song for us.

Short of bullets are the Indonesians. Apparently of each group of twelve shooters only three have live rounds. Yes, m'lud, I did raise my rifle and discharge it at the man's heart but I was unaware of whether or not there was a live round up the spout. So you knowingly discharged a firearm trusting to luck and numbers that you would not be you to kill the poor sod? It's not much of a defence, is it? Even the internal one it is supposed to offer.

The game was up here long ago. They stopped Pierrepoint's forebears from slaughtering them in front of Newgate because it's a fucking disgrace. It dragged on for a few decades or more but the war did for capital punishment. That's enough killing, thanks. Killing people is wrong whoever and wherever you are. And "Would you like to stand, sit or kneel while we shoot you to death in your nice white shirt? Symbolising rebirth, you understand - for you, but not for me. Not yet. And any more tea, Vicar?" Do fuck off. Hiding in a jungle clearing at midnight should be a clue, and is the same as an invisible if elegantly choreographed eight-second skip across the landing in Pentonville. It is the theatre of slaughter, Mr I. It's morally equivalent to sawing off heads on Libyan beaches.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, of course it is, mr mongoose, I was a wee boy when they last hanged someone in the UK but even then was sickened and horrified. I don't think I have ever got over it. And every time it happens, rope, bullet or scimitar, I am refuced to tears of rage.

Mark said...

I knew a chap whose uncle was hanged.
He was William Palmer, The Rugeley Poisoner and he was dispatched by George Smith, popularly known as Throttler Smith.
When he stepped onto the gallows he looked at the trapdoor and exclaimed, "Are you sure it's safe?

walter said...

mr mongoose,live rounds, fifty years ago i fired a lee enfield with blank and live rounds, the recoil from a live round is considerable, a blank round practically non existant,so you would definitely know!

A mirage made in heaven said...

I know it's a cheesy title for a blog but it makes slightly more sense when you realise it was meant to be a joint effort, whereby me and Mrs. Fata Morgana could argue out our cultural and philosophical differences. From the outset though, it became apparent it would not work (with me being, in her words, a cuntish contrarian).

I mistakenly used the title when I first commented here, and, well, here I am, sort of.

I agree with you about capital punishment. But what about allowing assisted suicide for those who don't want to do 40 years inside at the state's expense? Brady, for instance; nasty bastard and arrogant too, going by his 'The gates of Janus' book. He should have been allowed to die yonks ago; I'd have helped him along. I also consider Shipman to be something of an extreme euthanist, ending misery where he encountered it, that is, fucking everywhere.

Bungalow Bill said...

It's the intimate degradation; the primitive, tribal stupidity of it. 'A Hanging' by George Orwell. a piece about an execution when he was in the Burma police, or something like that, says it all for me. We don't have the right to shut a body down like this.

tdg said...

Doctors are to blame for insisting they have nothing to do with it. Death is easy when you know how it comes naturally.

call me ishmael said...

Orwell, Wilde, Housman even Kipling in Danny Dreever, Norman Mailer in Executioner's Song, they dwell not on the killed but on the impact on the living, Orwell's group, like Pierrepoint's, enjoying their breakfast a short distance from the hanging man, indifferent, insouciant, even.

Call me juvenile, mr tdg, if you will, but Death and I are strangers, I have never seen a dead body and I hope to die in that state of blessed ignorance, crept-up upon, ambushed. The thought of knowing my appointed hour, as did those yesterday, makes me shudder.

I

call me ishmael said...

I believe, mr mirage, that even a determined finger and thumb can fatally rip the jugular but sharp objects, even in high security jails, can be obtained or fabricated; if Brady wanted to be dead he would be dead. I suspect, further, that suicide, assisted or otherwise, is seldom the wish of the long sentence prisoner, peope find a way and a purpose. I once knew a twenty-five year man but never a natural lifer, I do know, however, that hope springs eternal and is sometimes realised, as, recently, with Harry Roberts, finally and controversially released after more than forty years inside. He must be as happy as a dog with two cocks.

I wasn't lampooning your nomenclature, by the way, but enjoying it.

call me ishmael said...

I have found a couple of reviews, mr verge, but have only remote location broadband speed presently, I will watch it with interest when speeds improve in a few days. I vaguely remember, when I was a kid, hearing that, what was his name, Sukarno, of Indonesia, was a grade one bastard, his country a shithole, but at least he was open about it and attacked current enemies, this cunt, Joko, shooting these people yesterday, after they had spent ten years in jail, why, that's almost American in its chilly wickedness.

Caratacus said...

If these drug dealers had been responsible for harming one of mine, I'd have topped them without a thought had the opportunity presented itself and slept soundly that night. And yet ... they seem to have changed, to have achieved some kind of genuine redemption and spent the last years of their lives in the unstinting service of others.

Life is supposed to get simpler as one gets older ... says so in Scriptures.

SG said...

I feel that you are being far too negative about this business Mr I. Just where is your entrepreneurial spirit? Yes there is cruelty and injustice but, then again, there is also opportunity and the potential for profit. We're in a low hanging fruit, 'win - win' situation here Mr I. For Indonesia, the opportunity to establish itself at the epicentre of a new 'offshoring' industry, extending the range of low cost solutions to endemic problems facing the 'Developed World'. For Developed countries, the opportunity to escape from the long term cost of warehousing criminals and other socially undesireable types. 

As a Business School 'alumni', I've already carried out an initial segmentation of the potential market opportunities and identified two basic 'customer value propositions'. First - a low cost, tax payer funded, mass market proposition aimed at the 'low life' end of the market ('mules', street corner drug dealers etc.) This could be 'distributed' by the likes of G4S or Crapita using economy class delivery channels (albeit with a slight risk of product 'leakage' whilst in transit) - this would likely prove particularly attractive to American clients who've recently been experiencing problems with their own 'in-sourced' execution products. Second, a 'platinum service' - inspired by your good self, and aimed at 'high end' users and abusers ('Red Ed' was summoned for interview at the luxury accommodations of these client types this very week!). For them, a luxurious & discreet delivery channel provided by NetJets, with a choice of bespoke, craftsmen built, end of life solutions offered by the Private Clients division of Pierrepoint plc - offered on a full cost & profit recovery basis from said clients. What's not to like?

Mike said...

Mr SG: not as farfetched as it might seem. The Feds, here down under, could have arrested the pair, but instead let them travel to Indonesia and informed the local cops, knowing full well a bullet awaited them. Saves taxpayer dollars.

SG said...

Thanks Mr Mike - I didn't know that. However, I feel that Indonesia will fail to capitalise on this 'retail opportunity' for they are, to paraphrase The Economist & Homer Simpson, eternally at a crossroads...

call me ishmael said...

Me??????Negative??? You is 'avin', mr sg, a LOL out loud, innit. I is the most hun-negativist geezer wot lives around 'ere. Vote? Course I is votin', people in olden days fought wars an' fings so's I could vote on the X factor an' them uvver ones. Negative, Hi don't fink so.

call me ishmael said...

It would not be the drug dealers who were responsible, king caratacus but the crooked legislators and lawnforcement. People have always taken intoxicants - recreationally, sacramentally, medicinally and militarily. It is not the business of the state to prohibit anyone's choices in these matters. Wherever two or three are gathered together in my name they will find a way to get out of their heads; there, the oldest and truest scripture of them all.

mongoose said...

It is a strange and macabre subject this firing squad business. Unsettlingly fascinating. There were numerous instances, it appears, of WW1 firing squads failing to hit their man at all. And, yes, the pals argument applies but only 3 out of 12 loaded is still rather low to ensure instant death. At least, I thought so - not knowing anything about the body destroying capabilities of hollow-point this-and-that calibre wotsits.

And then it turns out that the coup de grace from the officer is not administered after a few seconds if need be - as on the monocled mutineer's telly. It's only if the poor bugger is still alive after ten minutes that the Indonesians get around to putting an end to it. What sort of madness is that? We'll just leave 'em bleeding on the floor for ten minutes and see if they pop off. Some of us live next door to Buddhists, you know, wouldn't hurt a fly. And it's almost enough time for a hearty breakfast.

And now some mad Governor fool in the USA has decided to experiment with nitrogen gassing. One imagines on the scientific grounds of having discovered that nitrogen is not oxygen. (And why not ether? Ether is good fun and ratcheted up will kill them too. But painlessly.) I do not understand why, if they must all kill people, they cannot get Dignitas to advise them. They get the job done, and with a Swiss minimum of theatrics.

SG said...

Your grasp of modern undergraduate vernacular is impressive Mr I. Based on some of the election debates that I have seen on the TeeVee, the ones that seek to engage this self-disenfranchised group, one wonders what the fuck they teach  at University (sorry - 'Uni') these days. Plainly not the ability to research, analyse and form a view on something or develop a capacity for independent, critical thought. If the participants in these 'debates' really are representative of the student population then the outlook is very bleak indeed.    I guess it is only a matter of time before Russell Brand is offered a Chair in Political Philosophy at one of our 'leading' Universities (maybe a 'Russell Group' one!). After all we have a Professor Westwood,do we not, (Dame Commander of the British Empire, DSO & Bar - for it is she...).

Caratacus said...

Mr. Mongoose - you raise a very good point. Lord knows the Americans have performed bloody dismally insofar as their legalised murders are concerned of late. One would have thought that a quick bit of research would rapidly lead them to the specialists at Dignitas. Could it be that the dopey bastards are actually doing it deliberately? Forgive me, but I fear it to be not beyond the realms of possibility ...

call me ishmael said...

With my Private Eye came a begging letter from Medicin Sans Frontieres. I read a quarter of a page and put it in the compost.

I know. They are the best of a bad lot, the very best but as contributory in their way as Oxfam and the thieving bastards at the UN - did Whispering Kofi Anan manage to stay out of jail? As well as Tony and Imelda Blair? - and I couldn't read any more from the Somerset-based surgeon who was, in this instance, leading Compassion's charge.

It is as you say, king caratacus, Uncle Sam perpetrates atrocity not only everywhere he goes but at home, too - the recent mention, here, of the nigger-basher, Obama's, militarising of lawnforcement and turning it loose on the citizen barely raising an eyebrow. Maybe if those creepy Australian politiciand withdrew their ambassador from Washington, as well as, where is it, Jakarta, we might see an improvement in behaviour internationally. Maybe Gnasher will help bring it about in the UK, she is a progressive, she says, dragging us back to the seventeenth century.

One of the better, bolder TeeVee dramas, I thought, mr mongoose, The Monocled Mutineer; never been repeated, has it? Probably upset our huge cohort of Brigadiers Rupert Golightly Jockstrap, how many is it we have, thousands, tens of thousands?

That was my point about Albert, he delivered swift and certain death to his customers, the very best sort of Executioner, if executed one must be.

I can see its return, here, topping, somebody like Jack Torture could sponsor it from the Lords. He's drenched in blood already, of mothers and children, of hapless bystanders, of kidnap victims, if Group 4 or some other cunts offered him a few grand to support Humane Despatch plc, he'd be there quicker than he could get his tongue up Condy Rice's rectum.

call me ishmael said...

It is exactly as you say, mr sg, Oxbridge's Professor Victor Bogbrush describing his former student, Bullingdon brawler, Dave Cameron, as a brilliant, gifted student; just not in history, geography, adding-up, taking-away, joined-up writing or speaking gramatically, man's a fucking moron with an MA in breaking crockery and pissing in the flowerbeds.

Anonymous said...

Hmm.. man with gun says "don't get caught smuggling heroin or you're liable to be shot".
Man with no gun knows this but takes the fearful risk and gets caught and shot.
The moral of the story has nothing to do with the death penalty, Indonesian politics or the rights and wrongs of the use and distribution of narcotics. It's that you are foolish to try to get the best of the authorities in jurisdictions where they are both vigilant and trigger-happy.
All very sad, because in my opinion all drugs should be legal, and no State should kill prisoners, but my opinions don't change the facts.
-richard

SG said...

Yes Mr I, he hides his intellect well - even better than Boris the Bold. However, we can at least be assured that Ed possesses a keen intellect because he's told us so - hell yes! I've been telling myself that a continuation of the current coalition might be the lesser of the evils in this farrago. Now I think - wouldn't it be great if neither of the 'contenders' could form a government? Apparently Belgium functioned perfectly well without a government for 589 days during which time it experienced an upturn in its economy which only petered out when they managed to form a government.

yardarm said...

Bogdanor called TopHatDave a brilliant student ? Christ on a fucking bike, how bad were the others ? If Cameron`s dad was a dustman the only way he`d get into Chipping Norton would be to empty the fucking bins.

call me ishmael said...

Well, pragmatism is all very well, mr richard but I can't help but feel that the international trade in what we call drugs only functions because states turn a blind eye to those who are paying them off and occasionally put-up a body or two from the smallfry. That, obviously, is how the cops work, everywhere; cops, drug enforcement agencies, security services, what possible rewason can they have for capturing big players, much less for stamping out the entire business?

Whether these guys were acting foolishly or not is immaterial as far as I'm concerned, nothing in this life makes me angrier than some gang of fucking rednecks executing their fellow persons. Doesn't matter if its ISIL, Uncle Sam or the Chinks, in fact the closer they are kin to me, as with the yanks, the angrier I am.

call me ishmael said...

Yes, I heard Bogbrush, early on in the Coalition, say that very thing, mr yardarm; Cameron was a first class student, mind bending, isn't it, how the rich live, buying even their degrees.

call me ishmael said...

It is, mr sg, doin' me bleedin' 'ead in, this election. O haupt vol blut und wunden, that 's the way I feel.

SG said...

Mein kopf ist auch verwundet, Mr I.

Mike said...

Never mind the election. I read you have a new royal princess, long to reign over you. I say "you", although the queen is head of state Down Under, but when she pops her cloggs there's no way Charlie will will enjoy such a priviledge.

Anonymous said...

Well then, let's remember who makes the laws which stop a chap from buying a week's worth of heroin for pennies at a "drug store" and instead fling him into gaol to rot or get shot - and stop voting. You mention cops, services and agencies, none of whom want drugs legalised or the trade to be crushed for the same reason that a panel beater doesnt want a crash-proof traffic system.
-richard

Anonymous said...

Monocled Mutineer - had to look it up to check the dates but all of 30 years, near enough, since first broadcast. A few years before that (1978?) they made a short series called "Law and Order" (Ken Campbell as a bent brief) which also kicked up a stink. They did stick it to Prince Charles quite nicely in the middle series of "House of Cards" but it's a struggle to think of any BBC drama since that's really stirred the hornets.

verge.//

SG said...

On reflection Mr I, North of the border at least, the choice for Unionists is clear - vote for whoever has the best chance of keeping these fuckers out:

http://raedwald.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/the-ugly-face-of-snp-scots-fascism.html

Even if it involves holding one's nose...

Good luck up there Mr I & I hope things aren't as bad as the polls suggest. I just watched the Scottish Leaders Debate. I think Ruth Boy, though she wasn't given her fair share of airtime, managed to land a couple of blows on Gnasher - especially when she pointed out that the SNP does not equal Scotland. I think the SNP see themselves as some sort of ANC style liberation front. I'm surprised they haven't invoked Saint Mandela by now ( my son, who is much wiser than I, has just observed that that is because there aren't any black people in Scotland...). Actually the closer parallel is SNP = ZANU PF. That said, I can't see Central Belt Independence War Veterans making their way south to occupy the lands of Tory Border Farmers...

call me ishmael said...

Tony Garnet production, wasn't it, Law and Order, or was that the Sir, you Bastard set of series? Great stuff, then, anyway. Even Bolam, in When The Boat Comes In had something about it. And the Percy Topliss tale, I recall, raised Cain in the letters pages of the Filth-O-Graph, among the retired Ruperts, bleating that the WW1 executioners should not be judged by contemporary standards; might have been a reasonable plea, had not all those shot been other ranks. Not a Rupert amongst them.

call me ishmael said...

Ruth Boy Davidson has had a bad election, I fear, but MediaRood is determined that there are sales and ratings in the Tribesmen phenomenon. We will know soon enough and irrespective of how many nutters come to Westminster, princiople and common sense dictate that the two large unionist parties should gang-up on them, in the nicest possible way - maybe in a GNU, makes sense.

call me ishmael said...

I won't be, this time, mr richard, voting.

call me ishmael said...

Seems that they like the Gormlesses well enouigh, Down Under, mr mike.

Mike said...

I would guess those crowds would be mostly Jap tourists, Mr I, trying out their new cameras. We used to get mobbed by Japs tourists when our 2 kids were toddlers, wanting pictures. Wierd the Japs, I bet they would have paid if I'd have asked.

call me ishmael said...

No need to take my word for it, just ask anyone still here, mr mike, and they'll tell you, fair dinkum, that anywhere, anywhere that the royals go on the planet, the natives, to a man, go apeshitm, wetting themselves, crying, begging to touch the hem of the Hermann von Battenbergs, even Brian and Horseface, they set Washington alight, recently, quite like the late Duke and Duchess of Windsor,only not so ethical a couple, obviously. Could skymadeuonewsandfilth be lying to us, all this time. Does the entire world actually not love these thieving, murdering bastards?

Mike said...

In the referendum, down here a few years ago, I voted with the majority to retain the Queen as head of state.

The reason why Aussies did this was complex, but involved older Aussies who had faught in the war (or their close relatives) feeling a sense of not wishing to offend the queen who is of their generation, and also importantly not wanting some scumbag ex-politician or airhead sportsperson acting as president and living like faux royalty. In the end, better to stick with what we knew, didn't cost anything, and was the other side of the world.

As I said earlier, when the queen goes then this changes the picture entirely, as there is no real affection for the rest of them. Australia will become a republic, as will NZ and Canada. A few less sashes and plumes for Charlie.

call me ishmael said...

Good, although, his ire over his mother's longevity is, he probably feels, punishment enough fof one lifetime, prat. I am not characteristically punitive but I wouldn't mind seeing his lazy, selfish useless bastard arse humiliated. That poor, mad Speoncer girl, any decent big brother'd have, at the outset, broken Charlie's fucking jaw.

mongoose said...

A shockingly low calibre election this one has been, alas. And tedious too. perhaps that was the objective but I cannot see any good coming of that.

The triumphalism of your tribal neighbours is set to be the main feature of the aftermath. The cry of legitimacy ringing hollow down the corridors of Westmonster. let us see what the night brings.

call me ishmael said...

It is Ruin's harvest, mr mongoose; they suck the life even out of their own five-yearly festval of competitive promising, these filthy bastards, and they will impertinently call my rational belief that they are all filth apathy. We are gone down in a flood of shit.

mongoose said...

Off to vote in a minute, Mr I. "None of the above useless bastards" likely being this time's offering.

call me ishmael said...

There is a party, you know, the NOTA party, trying to get NOTA on the ballot. Of course they won't succeed, how could they? I'm not even leaving the house; Big Al Carmichael will romp home, well, lumber home. I hope that tomorrow he's the only LibDem bigboy in town.