Wednesday, 1 October 2014


RAF Tornado jets
today were not poised to fly over China in a show of solidarity with protesters in Hong Kong. 

Governor Emeritus, 
Lord Chris Fatso Of BBC Corruption, is not poised to enter the fray on behalf of   his former subjects, 
  I say, do I get any money for doing this?

nor are members of COBRA 
Quick, follow me, I know how to panic.

urgently carrying their folders into Downing Street;  laughable Defence Seckatry,
 Micky Spiv Fallon,  is not blowharding his stupid arse off   to anyone  mad enough to listen and as many as no Brigadiers General Rupert Golightly Jockstrap have urged extremely professional and highly-trained boots-on-Chinky- ground.

Help For Heroes, however,  has pronounced itself disappointed with this lack of aggression towards Beijing, saying, we in the heroes business are committed to the maintainance of a continuing supply of limbless footballers, basketballers and North Pole crawlers  and the govament, frankly, in ignoring the  huge business potential of a war with China, however brief, is letting-down current and potential amputees, plastic surgery patients, blind bastards and even common or garden headbangers, all of whom rely on HM govament for their hero status, even if they aren't.  Which nearly all of them aren't. Obviously.  

Joining-up isn't heroism, getting injured isn't heroism; doing something heroic is heroism, and it is something highly unusual, that's why it's called heroism, if everybody did it it wouldn't mean anything, so, saying that what everybody does is heroism, is actually shitting on heroism proper.  Help for Injured Soldiers,  that would be the right title. But it would still be wrong because the government
which sent them should help them. Not me. I never wanted them to go in the first place. 

What they should do, the Ministry of little but nasty Wars is every other Cruise missile, just don't fire it, won't make any fucking difference to anything, apart from not killing innocent people and making us even more enemies; every other Cruise missile that the Ruperts want to fire, just don't fire it and instead, give the half a million quid it costs to H4H;  just don't fire a hundred, fire fifty and send 25 million pounds to the North Pole Nutters, on the condition that they stay at home. And away from Harry Windsor, hero first class by association and complete arsehole, even by princely standards.

A choir of topless army wives has already volunteered to Sing for Sino-War 

on any TeeVee channel which will have them and as many as no programmes have expressed an interest in hosting the concert.  And Imelda Blair has,
 for only a small fee, promised to extend her expertise in drumming-up war, as a very profound and meaningful adjunct to civil liberties and human rights,  her husband's, anyway.  

 Blessed are the warmakers. 
 For they shall have their mouths stuffed with gold.
  China, are they muslems? If they are we must take them out immediately; it is the next Crusade.

MediaMinster, ever agog at the prospect of war and stories, as we set small countries ablaze, is strangely silent, too, perhaps this unaccustomed temerity is in some way connected to China having two-and-a-half-million men under arms, 
with two-and-a-half million in their Territorial Army; having ten thousand tanks, 
three thousand aircraft and
 five hundred warships.

China, depending on who you believe,  has between two hundred-and-fifty and three thousand nukes of the inter-continental variety. We have our own aircraft carrier capability,  the one without aircraft.

President Autocue will also be on tenterhooks, there are already tensions between Uncle Sam
 and Hoo-Flung-Dung 

over the South China Sea and the Pentagon is worried about the defensibility of its gazillion-dollar carrier fleet, no longer the four-acre fortresses they thought they were, vulnerable, it seems to Chinese smart missile attack. 

NATO, not even NATO can pretend that a Chinese colony is part of NATO, as were so many other unlikely places.  Maybe that joker, Gob Rassmussensen, head of NATO, could sort-of backdate Hong Kong's membership of NATO, as he did with the undemocratic gangster republic of Ukraine but if he did the chances are that Brussels - and him - would be toast in minutes.

All of the West's Ruperts, then, accustomed to fighting tribesmen  riding around in circles  in rusty Toyota Landcruisers and firing popguns in the air, they won't like this, will be hoping that this Chinese-Hong Kong difficulty just fizzles-out.  Freedom and Democracy are all very well, old chap, but hardly worth losing one's career over, much less one's life.Those Chinks, there's fucking millions of them, litlle yellow bastards,  billions, maybe and they're all tooled-up to fuck, fucking Mig fighters, tanks, guns, hundreds of fucking aircraft carriers, nukes, bug-bombs, death-rays and fuck knows what else.  You see that cunt Cameron and you tell him to stick his No-Fly Zone up his arse.
 I mean, Look, bullying some nig-nogs is jolly good sport but fighting an actual war, against a proper army,  fuck that for a game of soldiers.


Mike said...

Mr I: the current shit is not about freedom-n-democracy. Its about putting a pipeline through Syria to neutralise Russia's stranglehold on Europe's energy, and its threat to dump the petro dollar. America wants control, rather than Russia. Hence, Syria has to be made compliant, and the first step is to destabilise. The headchoppers in Syria were trained by the CIA (in Turkey I believe); the irony is the mad bastards actually believe what they were trained to believe, and they will surely die now uncle Sam has his excuse to go into Syria.

The UK, and I'm sorry to say Australia, just do what they are told.

The interesting play is what Russia do. They are more clever at this strategic stuff, and China is playing the long game.

Bungalow Bill said...

Must dash to waste the next 10 hours or so, but this is brilliant.

call me ishmael said...

Gaddafi, too, he wanted his own currency, the Arab Dollar, got a spear up his arse, mr mike, for his presumption.

Part of GlobaFort America now, isn't it, Australia?

I must say that Basher Assad seems no more uncivilised than many of our allies in the region, probably less so, he doesn't mince about in a dress, for instance, odd that we are so desperate to kill him just because he tops a few of his people, they all do that, look at Egypt, a brutal military coup and they are going to hang a lot of the opposition, why aren't we in there, boots on the ground, napalm in the air, fire in the nursery?

Mike said...

Mr I: yes, Australia is for all intents and purposes a state of America. Too resource rich, and strategically placed off SE Asia to ignore; and with a mini population (22M) realistically unable to defend itself. Since the UK gave it the finger (thanks to Heath - but arguably since Churhill abandoned Australia to the Nips) its fallen in the US sphere.

We serve our purpose as a staging post for the US - we have the most advanced radar in the world watching SE Asia - want to know what happened to MH370, then ask Australia.

If it wasn't for the weather and the golf, and the locals in my neck of the woods of Sydney (100% Anglo-Saxon) I'd be off. Its getting harder to find somewhere suitable, but I'm actively looking at SE Asia.

Anonymous said...

I volunteer "dopey" Dave Cameldung should lead an expeditionary force including Major Miilipeed, Private Nicked Cloggs and Staff Sergeant Nincumpoop Farage.
That lot could put the wind-up anybody. Can you imagine the fear inducing spectacle of a bunch of complete idiots advancing on you?


Doug Shoulders said...

Bombing the fuck out of mad bastards in Toyotas and hut dwellers that’s what we’re best at.. At the behest of USA of course. All that “ordinance” and good for fuck all really.
It has long been my belief that Putin is on the side of the Russian people and against the globamafia who would rape his country. . Perhaps emperor Wang Chung also. Streetwise to EU and US buffoonery. We have, as our lord and master, a chubby faced Eton boy who looks like he’s never done a days (honest or not) work in his life….30% of the vote in partnership with another cunt party.
Putin, and probably Wang Chung too…let’s just say I wouldn’t look at them the wrong way in a pub.
On the occasion that Cameroon left his kids in the pub...he probly looked at someone the wrong way and had to leave quickly..
The west military has its hands full again. Business as usual.
I’m dismayed that nobody pointedly ask camerooon.:-
“Listen cunt…instead of lining the pockets of the Globadeath merchants….etc

tdg said...

The real enemy is deeper, darker. Politicians (and the media) are merely puppets of the popular will, to which all is now enslaved. A clear majority supports this war, and it has only taken a couple of beheadings to achieve it. This is a theatre in which the audience controls the strings but shuts its eyes to the reality so as not to spoil the drama. Ours is the age of hysteria.

Paul Roach said...

At least Glasgow will be safe (we have nuclear devices you know,here in Scrotland) and anyway the Chinks own all your morgage debts thanks to the bankers derivatives and securities, they wont be a missiling us anytime soon, it would totally fuck up a popular holiday spot for the chinkanese,
If they do decide to call in the debt then we could give them Falkirk and Aberdeen, Aberdeen should be okay with that seeing as they are now plowing through the electoral register to find new voters who owe money and make them pay up.

Its exciting all this war stuff innit
I mean,how far can the technology go before we are at an impasse?
some poor cunts are going to have to go out into no-mans land to actually chib each other up in person,I favour the hands on approach from wastemonster, I reckon that fagmiester vague with his love of the wrong end of a tornado jet would look asplendid in a gladiator costume giving Putin a good talking to, then they can have at it with the pointy thingys (He would probably pop a stiffy at the prospect of giving Putin a good stabbing in his posterior)

we could host it at hampden, sure to be a sellout, fuck! I would pay a hundred fiats to see willy slash himself silly with a sword before he goes topless, Oh how we larfed, what a good night out that would be.

Besides the luscious greeny lawns
ampitheaters creak and groan
to prove the ancient traits,
the romanesque deliberate the worthyness of souls.

SG said...

I tend to agree with you here Mr I. The value of sending what remains of our geriatric Tornado 'fleet' after a few AK wielding ragheads in Toyota pick-up trucks is truly lost on me. £1/2 million a pop plus aviation fuel etc. to knock out a vehicle worth a few hundred quid with a two or three bearded nutters on board - assuming its a valid 'target' and not a some folks on their way to a wedding (to be fair almost all celebrations in the arab world seem to involve releasing ordinance into the air so one can see how confusion might arise) - don't we have a deficit to deal with FFS?. Small wonder the Israelis are sitting this one out... So should we. Assad is no angel, but we (the 'West') should get out of his face. With us out of the way, and Russian and Iranian backing, the Caliphate's days would be numbered. There would be a terrible day of reckoning, of course, in the Arab way - maybe a few Jihadi Johns might make it back here, if they are very lucky to enjoy the security and safety of one of Her Majesty's establishments for the rehabilitation of bearded nutters - 'uman rights respected and all that. Statecraft would seem to be a dead art...

yardarm said...

When the Ruperts did take on a few flatbeds of bearded fruitcakes with Kalashnikovs it didn`t exactly result in a glorious victory for us. This current one is a PR job: apparently the RAF blew some bloke called Farouk off his bike near Irbil and started a fire in a wheelie bin outside Mustaphas Kebab House in Mosul.

As for China: remember the tour Wysteria, Pansy Face and Boris Cock did there a few months ago, grinning and grovelling and kowtowing in the manner appropriate for eunuchs.

Anonymous said...

Here's a few "what ifs" - Next time you're in a Chinese takeaway have a look at the staff. Almost always they are young fit-looking chaps with military haircuts. What if they're all Red Army, playing the long game, and more numerous, widespread and invisible by their ubiquity than all our cops and UK based batallions? What if, following a Chinese cyber or conventional attack they swarm forth to swiftly take over town halls and barracks, from which they would impose and administer martial law?

Mike said...

Mr I: never mind all those ships-planes-tanks-nukkes checks this out:

call me ishmael said...
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call me ishmael said...
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call me ishmael said...

Gosh, mr mike, a whole new area of uniform fetish.

From what I hear maybe it is time for you to move, that arse you all elected is saying that criticism of govament security business is, well, a transportable offence, maybe he has a thing for Mrs May.

call me ishmael said...

Not so mush of the we, mr paul roache, Glasgae belongs, the noo, tae everybody I believe that Mr Hague got all the workouits he needed with his sweat buddy, Lord Coe, in fact, that was why Sebastian was Lorded in the first place, one of William's glittering ennoblees, another being the pompous jailbird, Conrad Black, whom not even Johnny Underpants would touch with a barge pole. Black, Kissinger and Thatcher, all on the same board of director, William Hague selling peerages for RTelegraoph support; makes one fair long for the good old Tory days.

call me ishmael said...

It is curious, mr tdg, how Peace's recitative has so stridently turned to Blood's fiery chorus but I know not who orchestrates this noisy vox pop; I know of nor have read of any normal person who favours further conflagration and atrocity. I don't know, in other words, if the popular will is as bogus as are Mr Cameron's hard-working families, doing the right thing, aspirant of getting a foot on the housing gallows' scaffold.

It is certainly a Wilderness of Mirrors, hard to traverse but such, I feel, is the transience of MediaMinster's output that few, today, could name David Haines or John Foley, few, save we lonesome, insomniac obsessives. It might be that the Farage constituency is incandescently indignant, still, about Lee Rigby and these latest victims but I don't know if they are the popular will or even if there is such a thing.

Doug Shoulders said...

What mr richard alluded to ..Carl Douglas predicted way back in the seventies.
It seems camerbuffoon wants made a law against discovery of state skullduggery.
In other words a law against free speech.
"Call me for what I am and I'll clap you in irons"
Dystopia creeps on

callmeishmael said...

Artificers, cooks, gunners' mates, engineers, radio operators, ship's marines there's hundreds of them, haunting the depths of Scapa Flow, a stone's throw from where I sit, blown to bits, eviscerated, burnt alive, drowned and worse, so that Mr Shinyand Mrs Baggage, he like a third-rate Flashman and she some clapped-out baggage, muttoning it, so they can jackboot us. Utterly poisonous, may their arses fall out and trip them up.

I have bben saying it elsewhere but it bears repetition, MediaMinster, fucking Naxis, all of 'em.

Mike said...

Mr I: I see Gerry-n-Cilla have persuaded the authorities to persue anyone with the timerity to criticise them. Watch out, you may be on their hit-list!

SG said...

Blogger must be playing up. I posted something up - saw it there- now its gone!

Yes that YouTube brought out the uniform fetishist in me too but while the Chinese have been doing that the Japanese have been investing in this:

Tora! Tora! Tora! (I especially like the multi-coloured car ferry somewhere towards the end.)


call me ishmael said...

I wish I was, mr mike, I wish I was, cheeky fucking bastard.

Blogger is always playing up, mr sg. I'll have a look.

SG said...

Thanks Mr I - don't bust a gut. To be fair it seems more reliable and accessible than that Discus thing they use on the Filthograph et al.

DtP said...

That Grant Shapps fella was on Question Time and it takes a rare kind of cunt to make Stella Creasey look good but he managed it with abandon

Exhibit A:

Paul Roach said...

I wasnt advocating actually topping him mr Ishmael,twas merely a contruct of me feeble mind cartoonery,However, these twunts would actually send the boys in to kill and maim, have previous for it, Would be entirely different if some raghead, heaven forbid, were to make toast of their family by remote control,then it would constitute a crime against humanity,
Nevermind though, the 2.5 million unemployed 16 to 18 yr olds will soon be doing national service so we can give them hell in person,
Rule Brittania and all that other shite.

Maybe gordon broon could ask his pals in the scottish freemasons to send some crusaders from the banks to throw some money on the battlefield, make it more desirable for the poor to risk life for a country that alienates us one from the other,I think jack strawman would be as good at dodging bullets as he is at dodging entrenched freemasons in high places taking the piss out of our fake democracy..

Had the displeasure of being faced with one of these little nerdy banker mason cunts talking to me like he could wipe the floor with me, useless skinny pencilneck cunt, if he knew my life woulda shat himself at the violence Ive had to endure and the fucking animals ive had to face off with,and the fucking plod grassing me up for reporting beasty gangster bastards selling powders in the area where I was bringing up my kids,yeah I understand british justice alright.

Its true to say Ive learned a lot from cunts, but at least my cuntishness is sprinkled with love,
this country is a fucking dead loss filled with preening halfwits and the noise of repetative soundbite programming bollocks meant to induce the stiff backed tommy to jump up syncronised to a man like some perverse hard on when the master calls.

I come here mr ishmael to outpour my dissapointment and futility, and to learn how to properly dispose of my hauntings and demons,so that i may find some well deserved peace, also, to learn how to express myself better, to laugh at it all.