Wednesday 4 December 2013

CHOPPER UPDATE. LUVVIES FLY IN.

No, no, I love Glasgow, I really do,
it's just more practical for me to live in California.


 Is Judy no' here, my very, very dear friend Dame Judy Dench?  Mike, Michael Caine?  Tommy Cruise?  Sharon Stone. What?  This is nae a film, then? What the fuck am I doin' here, the noo,
 d'ye ken? Darling, does ma heid look big in this beard?
Och, it is a terrible tragedy, all they wee folk, oot fer a pint and gettin' kilt, but at least it's no' as bad as me having the bumcancer.  Och, well maybe we did cure it but somebody famous like me, having it and then no' havin' it,  that's worse, isnae it,  than one a they wee, poor nobody-cunts dyin' from it?  Disnae matter if one a they fuckers dies, or all of them, for that matter.  Is m'very, very, very dear friend Michael Parkinson no' here, sellin' his funeral insurance, he's missin' a very real opportunity, d'you no' think? Right, am away hame tae ma very, very dear wife, wotsername, my girrrrls and ma money.  (sings and makes plunk-plunking noise on banjo) 
Cal-i-forn-ia, here I come.......
DEPUTY PRIME MINISTER STUDIES CONDOLENCE CARDS.

It's what I came into politics for, to tell lies, to be shifty and hypocritical, milk every opportunity which comes my way and then fuck off to Europe on a huge salary.  These dead people, it's a great tragedy for this great city of Birmingham

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I was quite surprised when I saw that Connolly had gone to pay respect. I amazed he has any left.

Vincent.

call me ishmael said...

He respects himself. And his art. And the royal family.

Mike said...

Looks like Glasgow is the new Sutton Bassett - the emergency services giving the "heroes" a send-off created a new low.

Mike said...

Apologies Wootton Bassett (Royal)

call me ishmael said...

Yes, didn't it just? One can only sympathise with communities which don't have a few corpses marshalled through them, their appetites for mawkishness unslaked. Accidental death, the new heroism.

Donald said...

He was at his very best before he was discovered.
Before anyone knew who or what he was he was very good.

call me ishmael said...

And he had a good artistic pedigree, playing with Gerry Rafferty in the Humblebums - I still have the album somewhere - and hanging out, best of all, with the Incredible String Band.

It is awful, what fame and Michael Parkinson can do to a bloke, he even sank so low as to Lottery adverts, dunno which was worse, mr donald, that or him sucking the Duke of York's cock, so to speak. A monumental tosser, Connolly.

Herod said...

This is a highly disrespectful blog, it keeps me in stitches and ought not to be allowed.

call me ishmael said...

You are right, your majesty, it oughtn't.