OLD BAGGAGE REVEALS ALL.
ONLY IN THE DAILY ISHMAEL
Now that he's dead I feel I can reveal Raoul's love for me. It was back in the sixties and all the men were gagging for me, the Beatles, the Stones, Dylan, Malcolm Muggeridge; I fair had to beat them off with a boomerang they were so desperate to knob the stunning, leggy Aussie with the big gob and the hairy legs and Raoul was no exception. Wossat? All men are cruel, predatory oppressors? Nah, I just told the dumb Sheilas that so's there'd be more Brighton Rock for me, they'd all be at home reading my dialectics of emancipation and I'd be banging like a shithouse door in a gale; fair dinkum, like; one football team after another, the World Cup squad, Man U, one beat group after another and anyway I just managed to fit Raoul in between the Kinks and the Yardbirds. Needless to say he was absolutely infatuated with me but after we'd boiled-up the billycan I just let him down gently and dropped him back off at school, My new womens lib book is out, by the way, it's called I Banged Everybody Who Was Anybody and all the proceeds go to my personal charity:
Many'sAGoodTunePlayedOnAnOldDidgeridoo.com
which is established to provide sexual relief for elderly ladies who simply cannot live without being on the telly and in the papers all the time, like some ancient, barren, decrepit KylieMinoguealike.
Interviewed on Channel Dave's popular GranniesYouWouldn't programme, Professor Streuth, 71, said it was a shame that Raoul was dead but there was plenty more cock in the sea, I mean fish.
