mrs ishmael is going on holiday again

Poor old Starmer – being a lawyer, he has to support and obey the Supreme Court’s ruling. Being a politician, he has to provide a kindly listening ear to the male rage of the scorned transwomen. How to square that circle? Well, he’s not managed the juggling act, much to the mockery of Kemi, first among many. At least he is now clear on the vexed subject, and no longer believes, as once he purported to believe, that 99% of women do not have a penis. And mr mike's revelations, in the last thread, kinda indicate that he carried his former confusion into his private life.

But no! It is all a nasty AI-generated slur. Whilst there is no doubt that Lord Ali bought Starmer expensive clothes (£16,200) and specs (£2,485) and London accommodation during the election campaign (£20,000), Dr. Adrian Wong of Techarp has shown that the video, at least, is fake news. Which is not to say that Starmer and Ali are not chums.

Dr Wong tells us that the video was originally posted on 20 April 2025 (now deleted), by @_head_full-of_dreams on TikTok, which has also posted AI-generated fake CCTV videos of Jesus Christ, Pope Francis, Jay Z and Michelle Obama. The video itself reveals its origins - the timestamp is nonsense - it showed 1219:13 instead of 12.19.13 and remained static,  not advancing as the video progressed.

The man on the left has a pair of interlaced hands on his neck, even though the other man’s forearm isn’t attached. The arms closest to the camera appear merged - another sloppy AI characteristic. The doors are significantly smaller than the two figures and the transom  is distorted. And the bushes aren't really bushes, but AI-generated junk.

So, it's Not Guilty on the tryst, but dodgy on the expensive gifts.

And it turns out that the late Holy Father, whose dead body is currently on display in the Vatican (so European, that) was a reforming radical, although not by his actions – eesa no change. The next Pope will need to busy himself, (one thing's for sure- it won't be a woman) overturning Frankie's reforms and restoring the financially corrupt practices of the inner Vatican circle. How entirely appropriate that God called him home on the fourth day, having concluded all the third day celebrations – I do reckon that it was a dodgy business, making the poor old chap go through all that, with him half-dead after the pneumonia. He was always susceptible to pneumonia, from boyhood. When he was 21, he had part of his lung cut out, after a bout of pneumonia and three cysts. They should have taken better care of him, particularly after the direct intervention of God in his election, according to Cardinal Christoph Schönborn, who said that Bergoglio was elected following two supernatural signs, one in the conclave—and hence confidential—and one from a Latin-American couple, friends of Schönborn at Vatican City, who whispered Bergoglio's name in the elector's ear; Schönborn commented "if these people say Bergoglio, that's an indication of the Holy Spirit". 

Eh, what? A secret miracle and an anonymous couple's tip off from the Holy Spirit? You don’t need to read Dan Brown to know that the Vatican Mafiosi are a bad lot. Murderous, self-flagellating god-botherers. Although it helps – the Dan Brown.

Anyway, I'm off on my hols now and there will be no Sunday Ishmael until the 11th May. Should there be no post then, you'll know that god has finally had enough of me.

Please do continue to talk among yourselves.