Sunday Morning Telly
Determined not to be accused of broadcasting from his toilet, unlike Matt Hancox last Sunday morning, Dominic Raab presented himself to the nation in a manner commensurate with his important position as a Great Officer of State. Didn't even doff his tie for Sunday. Properly suited and serious, with the Union flag furled behind him, his stage management made him look positively American.
Bravely laying himself open to accusations of flouting the Covid regulations by travelling unnecessarily - what do you mean, that's his sitting room, Dominic had his serious-but-approachable bigboy pants on, the very picture of a future Prime Minister. As usual, he didn't actually say anything.
And
then, in the interests of balance, having grilled Boris Johnson and Keir Starmer over the previous two weeks, Andrew Marr interviewed the leader of the Liberals, Sir Ed Davey.
What's that?
the nation will be saying, bemusedly.
Much more interesting was
59-year-old Nicky Campbell's Big Issue show. (sorry, Questions) Hasn't he done well since his Wheel of Fortune Days
He had Professor Simple and Lord Sumption elegantly biting each other, in a socially-distanced manner of speaking.
Jonathon Sumption, twitching and controversial as ever, has guaranteed
his lucrative future appearances on television as the contrarian
spokesperson. Shocked participants indignantly shouted How
dare he say that dying is something that people in their 80's do, and
their lives are less worthy than those of twenty-year-olds because they
have less life left than the youngsters? Aren't all lives of equal
weight? Jonathon, himself a gentleman of advanced years,
unapologetically stuck to his guns. To protect the lives of elderly
people, lockdown is fucking the life chances of a generation of
youngsters. My life is less valuable than that of my grandchildren.
Nicky, acutely aware that he is approaching the age at which his life might be seen as less valuable than that of his many daughters, found this to be strong stuff. Grimly, but politely rigorous,
Sumption did not deviate from his mission to tell the simple truth and cut out the sentimental guff, despite being hysterically accused of legitimising eugenics arguments. Throughout the coronacrisis, he has also never deviated from his firmly expressed opinion that the removal of our civil liberties has been far more of a disaster for the human race than COVID-19. He is a bit of a tart, though, popping up all over t'telly. His whole argument was then to'ly undermined by a student advancing her opinion that adults don't understand what the students are going through. She demanded proper funding to compensate for the dreadful trauma they are going through in not being able to go to the pub, because going to the pub is about so much more than getting drunk. It is a therapy session for students. No, Jonathon, if she is an example of these youngsters whose life is more important than yours, I'd have to disagree with you.
Sumption did not deviate from his mission to tell the simple truth and cut out the sentimental guff, despite being hysterically accused of legitimising eugenics arguments. Throughout the coronacrisis, he has also never deviated from his firmly expressed opinion that the removal of our civil liberties has been far more of a disaster for the human race than COVID-19. He is a bit of a tart, though, popping up all over t'telly. His whole argument was then to'ly undermined by a student advancing her opinion that adults don't understand what the students are going through. She demanded proper funding to compensate for the dreadful trauma they are going through in not being able to go to the pub, because going to the pub is about so much more than getting drunk. It is a therapy session for students. No, Jonathon, if she is an example of these youngsters whose life is more important than yours, I'd have to disagree with you.
The closure of the schools, a matter of the deepest regret by everyone forced to do it, calls to mind a crisis in 2014 when schools were not available and parents were required to stay at home with the fruit of their wombs (and loins). mr ishmael commented on that disaster:
Fifth
columnists, marxists and paedophiles gather in Brum to molest children
and undermine long-term economic reform and growth and whatever.
Thanks, Jayne, and yes, that's right, this is the news that communist teachers, many of them of interest to the security services, have betrayed those many parents who expect teachers to do as they're told by the gabshite, mutant lunatic, Mr Spit, the education seckatry.
I wrote the Bible, you know, children. Let's see, now....
Chapter one, verse one, in the Beginning there were Free schools.
And God looked on Mr Spit and was pleased.
Mr Spit has, today, reiterated his delusion that it is quite clearly the teachers' reponsibility, first and foremost, to look after other citizen-suspect's children for them, while they, the hard-working parents, pursue their rewarding and important careers down Tesco or in the call centre. If it wasn't for their child-minding capacity, said the diminutive education seckatry, why, I could dispense with them and teach the nation's children myself, via television screens in their classrooms, bedrooms, nurseries, prams, buggies and so on; just imagine, a constant LoopOfLearning, A nineteen-fifties curriculum, for which we are all so nostalgic, for which the nation cries out to me; me, Mr Gove, the nation's teacher.
And I am joined now, Jayne, here in - whereisthisplace? - here in Birmingham's Victoria Square by a local grandmother, Mrs Maxine Cough.
Maxine, you're a local grandmother, tell us what this strike has meant to you, how has it impacted you?
How'sitwot, love, impacted me?
No, Oi'm a bit old fer that lark, me, bein' impacted. Although there's them as does say, loike, that there's manys a good tune what gets played on an old wossaname. But no, moy grandchildren, luvemtobits, me, doanyfinforem, 'snuffin's too good for 'em, phones, games, chips, pizza, if I got 'em, they got 'em; what's their names? Well, there's Delroy, loike, an' Winston an' Chardonnay an' Kylie an' Jason an little Manjit, only he lives wiv 'is dad, loike, in Pakistan. Never could take to 'im, Manjit's dad; nuffin' against them people, honest I int, right 'and up to God, so 'elp me, I int racialist, no way, Jose, but they smell different, knowharramean, love, different than what we do. Must be all them spoices, loike, what they 'ave in their dinner, Oi mean, you wooden wanna go in the smallest room, not right after Manjit's dad's been in there, prayin' to Allah, so to speak, break the 'eart of a bleedin' wheelbarrow, it would. Gorra face as long as bleedin' Livery Street, they 'ave an' all, most on 'em, all beardy an' wearing frocks, loike, over pyjama bottoms. An the blokes is just as bad. But 'ark at me, here's you wanting to know about the school stroike and I'm gooin' all around the Wrekin, moaning about our Tracey's last husband, partner, achelly, don't seem no point in 'er marryin' em any more, all ends in bleedin' tears, dunnit? Well, what can Oi tellya, love, it ain't roight, is it, them teachers'm s'posed to look after the little uns, int they, I mean, swot we pay 'em for, innit? Take me, Oi should be at 'ome doin' me online Bingo an' instead I gorra go traipsin' over to Druids 'eath and help our Trace out wiv the little darlins, and she ain't used to bein' up so early, at lunchtime, loike. Diabolical liberty, 'sworrIcallit, them teachers gooin' on stroike an' expectin' us to do their work for 'em, idle bleedin' gits. That Nigel Fruitcake bloke, 'im wots on the telly, wiv 'is pint, loike, an' puffin' on his B an' Haitches, he'd soon sort 'em out, send 'em all back where they come from, shouldn't wonder, send 'em all back to TeacherLand, or wurevver it is.
Thanks, Jayne, and yes, that's right, this is the news that communist teachers, many of them of interest to the security services, have betrayed those many parents who expect teachers to do as they're told by the gabshite, mutant lunatic, Mr Spit, the education seckatry.
Chapter one, verse one, in the Beginning there were Free schools.
And God looked on Mr Spit and was pleased.
Mr Spit has, today, reiterated his delusion that it is quite clearly the teachers' reponsibility, first and foremost, to look after other citizen-suspect's children for them, while they, the hard-working parents, pursue their rewarding and important careers down Tesco or in the call centre. If it wasn't for their child-minding capacity, said the diminutive education seckatry, why, I could dispense with them and teach the nation's children myself, via television screens in their classrooms, bedrooms, nurseries, prams, buggies and so on; just imagine, a constant LoopOfLearning, A nineteen-fifties curriculum, for which we are all so nostalgic, for which the nation cries out to me; me, Mr Gove, the nation's teacher.
And I am joined now, Jayne, here in - whereisthisplace? - here in Birmingham's Victoria Square by a local grandmother, Mrs Maxine Cough.
Maxine, you're a local grandmother, tell us what this strike has meant to you, how has it impacted you?
How'sitwot, love, impacted me?
No, Oi'm a bit old fer that lark, me, bein' impacted. Although there's them as does say, loike, that there's manys a good tune what gets played on an old wossaname. But no, moy grandchildren, luvemtobits, me, doanyfinforem, 'snuffin's too good for 'em, phones, games, chips, pizza, if I got 'em, they got 'em; what's their names? Well, there's Delroy, loike, an' Winston an' Chardonnay an' Kylie an' Jason an little Manjit, only he lives wiv 'is dad, loike, in Pakistan. Never could take to 'im, Manjit's dad; nuffin' against them people, honest I int, right 'and up to God, so 'elp me, I int racialist, no way, Jose, but they smell different, knowharramean, love, different than what we do. Must be all them spoices, loike, what they 'ave in their dinner, Oi mean, you wooden wanna go in the smallest room, not right after Manjit's dad's been in there, prayin' to Allah, so to speak, break the 'eart of a bleedin' wheelbarrow, it would. Gorra face as long as bleedin' Livery Street, they 'ave an' all, most on 'em, all beardy an' wearing frocks, loike, over pyjama bottoms. An the blokes is just as bad. But 'ark at me, here's you wanting to know about the school stroike and I'm gooin' all around the Wrekin, moaning about our Tracey's last husband, partner, achelly, don't seem no point in 'er marryin' em any more, all ends in bleedin' tears, dunnit? Well, what can Oi tellya, love, it ain't roight, is it, them teachers'm s'posed to look after the little uns, int they, I mean, swot we pay 'em for, innit? Take me, Oi should be at 'ome doin' me online Bingo an' instead I gorra go traipsin' over to Druids 'eath and help our Trace out wiv the little darlins, and she ain't used to bein' up so early, at lunchtime, loike. Diabolical liberty, 'sworrIcallit, them teachers gooin' on stroike an' expectin' us to do their work for 'em, idle bleedin' gits. That Nigel Fruitcake bloke, 'im wots on the telly, wiv 'is pint, loike, an' puffin' on his B an' Haitches, he'd soon sort 'em out, send 'em all back where they come from, shouldn't wonder, send 'em all back to TeacherLand, or wurevver it is.
That was Birmingham grandmother, Maxine Cough, there, telling us what, frankly, Jayne, we are hearing from all over the country. People are utterly dismayed at being dumped with the care of their own children; it's absolutely not what we had them for, complain many, to look after them, that's why we have teachers in the first place, as child minders, so we can go out to work to pay the mortgage; isn't that what the property ladder is for, isn't that where it leads, slavery?
Thanks, Samantha, that was Samantha Tits for us there, in Birmingham or Wolverhampton, one of those dirty places, anyway.
New Variant Service will be resumed one day.
On Friday, I waited in for the meter man to visit to change my Economy 10 meter to a standard single rate meter. Got up promptly, warned Harris that we would have a visitor, cleared out the meter cupboard under the stairs to give the chap room to work, washed up, cleared out the fire, vacuumed. Two hours past the scheduled arrival time the chap had not turned up - despite the company having sent me two letters and four automated phone messages during the two months since I booked the appointment, alerting me to remember the appointment, ensure easy access to the meter and lock away my pets. I phoned. For 20 minutes they played music at me, told me my call is important to them and explained how they are very busy with unexpected levels of calls, and thanked me for my patience. I did need to know if I was still expected to stay in because the chap was on his way, or if it had all been forgotten about, and I could reschedule and take Harris out for his walk. He was most disgruntled that he hadn't been taken out yet. He'd been gazing out of the window from his look out position, looking for people to warn that he's on duty and they'd best be careful and move rapidly on. I tried to distract him by giving him some paperwork to do - I had some brown paper parcel wrappings to be dealt with by my Admin Dog. But he only ripped it a little before abandoning it and saying, plaintively, big-brown-eyesing at me, how can you expect me to do paperwork when I've not had my constitutional, and dealt with all my dog emails in the neighbourhood with copious quantities of pee??
Eventually, I get through to a human being with a strong Punjabi accent. I explain the reason for my call.
Didn't you know that you guys are in tight Lockdown?
No we're not, we're in Tier 3
No, Missuss ishmael, all Scotland is in tight Lockdown. Ve haff to protect you and protect our engineers.
No, I live in Orkney.
Aurkeney? But vhere iss dat? Is it not in Scotland? You guys are in tight Lockdown for your protection.
Yes, Orkney is in Scotland, but it is a group of islands and we are in Tier 3. Tradesmen can visit the house.
Ah, our system did not recognise that.
Well, is he coming to change the meter this morning?
No, Missus ishmael that vhill not be happening this morning.
Can I reschedule the appointment?
I vhill put you on hold, Missus ishmael, whilst I attempt to reschedule the appointment. Is that all right? Is that all right?
20 minutes ensues, with more of the music and gratitude for my patience. Then Kalinder is back on the phone:
Well Missus ishmael, I cannot reschedule your appointment because our system says that you are in tight Lockdown and we have to protect you and our engineers.
We're not in Lockdown, we're in Tier 3 and tradesmen can visit the house.
Unfortunately, Missus ishmael, the system vhill not accept that because of the current situation. You must phone back in several vheeks to reschedule your appointment.
But I've been waiting since early December to have my meter changed. And I've been waiting on the phone this morning for an hour. And I've stayed in all morning waiting for the meter man. And cleared out the cupboard under the stairs so he can have access to the meter. And put my dog away - all in compliance with the several automated phone messages you have been leaving on my answer machine on many occasions over the last 6 weeks since I originally booked the appointment. Why did no-one phone to tell me my appointment had been cancelled to protect me?
Ah, Missus ishmael, I understand your frustration. These are difficult times for all of us. I vhill help you out here, by placing a note on your account that Missus ishmael is frustrated. That vhay, you vhill receive an excellent service vhen you telephone in several vheeks to reschedule your appointment for your Smart Meter.
But I've requested the removal of my dual Economy 10 meters and their replacement with a Standard single tariff meter so that I can change my provider. I did not reqvest - sorry, request, a Smart Meter.
Missus ishmawel, I regret to explain that you have misunderstood. it is a Smart meter that vhill be installed, in compliance with our current operating protocol. I am sensing your increasing frustration and I am very sorry for that. Would you like me to escalate this matter?
Yes please.
Very well, Missus ishmael, I vhill now put you on hold while I escalate this matter for you.
A further 10 minutes of playing music and gratitude for my patience. Kalinder returns.
Missus ishmael, thank you so much for vhaiting. I haff now entered a note on your file that you vhould like this matter to be escalated. You must now go to our website vhere you vhil be able to make a complaint. Is there anything else you vhould like me to do for you today?
I put all the stuff back in the meter cupboard and did a bit of comfort eating.
mr ishmael's essay today was :
NEWS REVIEW. JOB OPPORTUNITIES, CHILDMINDERS WANTED FOR BUSY, HARD-WORKING PARENTS ON THE PROPERTY LADDER, MUST HAVE RELEVANT DEGREE AND POST-GRADUATE CERTIFICATE IN EDUCATION published 12/7/2014
Honest, Not Invent is an anthology of essays by stanislav and mr ishmael. It is available from lulu.com and is listed by both Blackwells and the Book Depository. Lulu assures me that it is shortly to be available through Amazon.
To buy a copy:
please
register an account with Lulu first. This will save you a couple of
quid, as going straight into the links provided below seems to make
paypal think it's ok to charge in dollars, and apply their own
conversion rate, which will put the price up slightly for a UK buyer.
Once the new account is set up, follow one of the links (to either
paperback or hardback) or type "Honest, Not Invent" into the Lulu
Bookstore search box. If you follow a link, a pop-up box asks for age
confirmation - simply set the date to (say) 1 January 1960, and
proceed. If you type the title, the anthology will not appear as a
search result until the "show explicit content" box (found at the bottom
left by scrolling down) has been checked. You may also see the age
verification box, as above, at this point.
Honest, Not Invent is available in paperback or hardback.Link for Hard Back :
Link for Paper Back :
There may be a 15% discount try the voucher code = TREAT15 in
the coupon box, which takes 15% off the price before
postage. If this code has expired by the time you reach this point, try
a google search for "Lulu.com voucher code" and see what comes up.
29 comments:
"Snuffin's too good for em". A BrumGran after Mr Sumption's heart.
v./
Raaaaab always reminds me of a trout; odd I know, but its something to do with the hairline.
The fact is that care has always been rationed under the NHS. In the good old days, midwives used to withhold care from handicapped babies or ease their passing. Now I read that treatment is being withheld to those with less than a given number of Quality Adjusted Life Years (QUALYs) in the new world of COVID. This was a theory developed by York health economists (Maynard and Culyer). It was arguable from first principles, and also from the ability to measure - how do you equate one year of an ageing Mozart or Einstein with a young chav selling meth?
Re Sumption: all barristers are drama queens; the best of them was George Carman, who represented Ken Dodd v Inland Revenue - "accountants are sometimes comedians, but comedians are never accountants" - jury dismissed the case against Doddy.
PS: how could I forget George's famous defence for the Sun newspaper against Gillian Taylforth, for defamation when the Sun had accused her of performing oral sex in a layby. Somehow George persuaded her to suck a sausage in court before the jury. Case against the Sun dismissed.
And George Carman, ably assisted by Sir Joseph Cantley, the presiding Judge, persuaded the Old Bailey jury into finding Jeremy Thorpe and his alleged co-conspirators not guilty of incitement to kill and with conspiring with three others to kill his former lover, Norman Scott. Carman was charismatically depicted by Adrian Scarborough in a Very English Scandal - well worth viewing, if you've missed it. Following that impressive early win,(in the teeth of the evidence) Carman went on to establish such a ferocious reputation that the great, good and bad scrambled to secure his services when Court loomed, as loom it must in the lives of those whom God has sent to rule o'er us, before the other side instructed him. He died in 2001. A big miss in the constantly-entertaining public discourse.
Never forget that barristers, interchangeably prosecuting and defending, with just one ethic - don't tell me you are guilty - always, always have more in common with each other and with the Judge than they have with their clients. He's never on your side. He's on his own side.
Which brings me to former lawyer, the Sump. Cool, intelligent, handsome with an utterly desirable head of silver hair, perfect diction, cultivated accent, authoritative, persuasive and impressive - one can only applaud the participants on Nicky Campbell's Sunday morning vehicle, the Big Questions, who did not fall for it and were not persuaded of what, as they rightly concluded, was the top of the Slippery-Slip down the Magic Faraway Tree to the Brave New World of a managed population of Alphas and Betas.
To be rigorously fair to the Sump, he was not advocating throwing the elderly onto the hillside. He wanted the particularly vulnerable and elderly to be shielded whilst the remainder of the population went about its business as usual, to preserve the economy and the lifechances of the young.
It was the Philosophy 101 element that he introduced, of determining the relative worth and weight of lives, that was most problematic. Like philosophers, lawyers play with these concepts as part of their training.
R v Dudley and Stephens (1884) 14 QBD 273
The two defendants became shipwrecked by a storm. They abandoned ship and were stranded in a small boat with another man and a young cabin boy. Stranded for 18 days, the food ran out 7 days earlier and the water five days. Dudley and Stephens agreed to draw straws to see who would be killed so that the others could eat him. The third man disagreed and the cabin boy was too weak to take part in any decision. The defendants decided that it would be better to kill the cabin boy as he was close to death and he had no family. They cut his throat. All three men ate him and were rescued four days later. On their return to England Dudley & Stephens were charged with the boy’s murder. The defendants were convicted of murder. The defence of necessity was not allowed. They were sentenced to death but then granted a pardon by the Crown and served 6 months imprisonment.
The remarks of the presiding judge, Lord Coleridge CJ should continue to ring in our ears:
"Now it is admitted that the deliberate killing of this unoffending and unresisting boy was clearly murder, unless the killing can be justified by some well-recognised excuse admitted by the law. It is further admitted that there was in this case no such excuse, unless the killing was justified by what has been called 'necessity'. But the temptation to the act which existed here was not what the law has ever called necessity. Nor is this to be regretted. Though law and morality are not the same, and many things may be immoral which are not necessarily illegal, yet the absolute divorce of law from morality would be of fatal consequence; and such divorce would follow if the temptation to murder in this case were to be held by law an absolute defence of it…..
It is not needful to point out the awful danger of admitting the principle which has been contended for. Who is to be the judge of this sort of necessity? By what measure is the comparative value of lives to be measured? Is it to be strength, or intellect or what? It is plain that the principle leaves to him who is to profit by it to determine the necessity which will justify him in deliberately taking another's life to save his own. In this case the weakest, the youngest, the most unresisting, was chosen. Was it more necessary to kill him than one of the grown men? The answer must be 'No'”
If it is the case that the economy is ruined and that the NHS can no longer provide treatment to all who need it, I contend that we should be with Lord Coleridge and say a resounding No! to quality- of- life- determining algorithms. Save Mrs BrumGran. Draw straws. It flies in the face of the commonsense that says give treatment to the person with 50 years left in their knapsack in preference to the person with 6 months. But, hey, if we are ever to become a better species (granted, we've got a long, long way to go), let us draw straws.
Mrs I: I understand that in the good old days of sail, and shipwreck, cannibalism was the accepted norm as a last resort. Sitting here with a glass of red, I can't imagine the horrors the shipwrekees must have gone through - particularly thirst surrounded by endless oceans. The terrors, both physical and mental, are unimaginable. It was also the norm for the powers that be not to question too closely how a few poor souls managed to survive, lest they discover an answer. It was accepted that they had been through hell, many drowning themselves, or consumed by madness. I certainly wouldn't want to judge that.
As a variation on the cannibalism theme, in WW2 it was the convention in the German navy (surface and U-boats) to close the hatches when hit, even if there were men condemned to be drowned in the sealed compartments. In the British navy this was not the case and efforts would be made to try to save the men in danger. As a result there were many more deaths and losses on the British side. Knowing this, if you were Captain of the vessel, would you order the hatches closed?
The problem with eating cabin-boys, mrs i, is not the eating but the preprandial killing. And the proximal problem for the cabin-boy himself is not the illegality of the act but the anecdotal nature of its so very personal performance. And so necessity is not a defence to murder under the English Law and quite right too. But rationing is a defence to all sorts of other things which happen by circumstance of it.
I am afraid that the growth of something-must-be-done-ism and Sir Kier Barmier's something-should-have-been-done-sooner-ism - along with Mr Ishmael's I-know-bestism - has rendered us children in the face of nature. Well something has been done and my old mum is 90 years and a few days old and she hasn't touched a human being - without a mask on its face and a surgical glove on its paw since last March. What does being locked up do to a 90-year-old, I wonder? I know what it does to me. How many months sooner will the reaper now call for her? Do I think she'd rather have risked the odd hug from her grandkids? I do. I think that all of them would have so risked it - sensibly and with care but care not by the name of 24/7 isolation.
The repaer calls in other ways too. One near here has just been found in his engine-running car. "A history", they say. Who can further say whether such an outcome was going to happen anyway but it is a fiendishly simple way to pile the pressure on those already at risk of self-harm.
OTOH The Sump is spot on about the destruction of civil liberties that has occurred and which ever proves so difficult to roll back when the black clouds have passed.
Who is your money on, mr mike? Is it raining?
Happen knowing that she wouldn't, the watery brass wouldn't make her Captain in the first place, Mr Mike. (And brutal efficiency didn't get Fritz very far in the end, did it?)
Fellow landlubbing ishmaelites might be interested in the appalling story of the Batavia, shipwrecked off the coast of Oz in 1629...
https://www.sea.museum/2016/06/04/barbarism-and-brutality-surviving-the-batavia-shipwreck
cheers
v./
Mr Verge: the Hermans nearly conquered the world, and one has to accept they were the finest all arms fighting force in history; if it wasn't for the red army and heroic Soviet civilians (nearly 30 million deaths) they would have succeeded. We all owe Russia a mighty debt of gratitude, not that you would have noticed. The Americans think they won the war. FFS.
Mr mongoose: I can't see apocalyptic predictions for the weather. In the Sydney Morning Herald they say "this will go down to the wire" - I agree. Starc is injured (hamstring) and likely can't bowl, and they recon Paine's captaincy is on the line. A lot at stake, could be a good one.
It's too many runs, mr mike, but they might be able to hold out. Oz should certainly attack and even entice them to try by leaving a few juicy gaps for a session or two.
What's with Warnie's flat cap. Being re-thatched?
True dat about the Russians, Mr Mike, though I suppose it's a moot point who won the peace.
Did you ever come across "Back in the USSA", co-written by Kim Newman? A terrific bit of alt hist SF where Russia remains under the Tsars, America underwent communist revolution in the 20's, and Blighty hung on to empire, fighting in Vietnam and spooking the gooks with a blast of "Teddy Bear's Picnic" from the attack choppers. Christopher Robin as Kurtz; "hello trees, hello sky, hello pile of severed human skulls."
The Romans weren't too shabby, and their schtick had legs.
v./
...although that should really have been Fotherington-Thomas (hello trees, etc). I no longer have a copy so can't check.
v./
Mr mongoose: likely a re-thatch gone wrong. We can only hope. I don't think its too many runs. If it were a T20 they would knock em off, no worries.
Mr verge: agreed, the Romans were way ahead of the times, even if many of their soldiers were foreign. I forgot to mention that after the red army defeated the Hermans they then promptly turned east and defeated a Japanese army.
Paine must agree, mr mike. 15th over - just two slips and a gully.
A draw isn't enough; a 1-1 series means India retain the trophy; already calls for Paine to go down here. A few hours yet until we see which way the wind blows. Weather update - should be all good. A long night ahead, Mr mongoose.
Yes, love it, mr mike.
Oz need to win. FFS they need to attack.
Starc does look tender.
continuing on the jolly tack of cannibalism...
it now appears that, as a poetic consequence of the cia-all-comers' concerted four-year-drive to undermine donaldocracy, the neo-liberal washington establishment may have finally germinated the insidious seeds of its own destruction, for even before the genocidal neo-imperialist biden dons his blue asbestos gloves to pick up the fuming bible which must reluctantly bear witness to his irrelevant inauguration, the tender shoots of political paranoia are already peeking through the cracks in his whining infant-administration - the chief architects of which, jitteringly conscious of their previous hate-inciting crimes against the american people, are, in order to weed out potential trumporists, now neurotically vetting all the national guards-and-police-persons who are to be entrusted with the personal security of duly elected and appointed members of government.
from their russia-collusion-hoax to last year's bogus impeachment of the president...
from their abominable health-crisis-hoax - which has wantonly crushed the lives and livelihoods of so many millions - to their fraudulent allegation that the president has actually murdered over two hundred-thousand american citizens...
from their smearing of the president as a white supremacist sex-criminal to their blatant show-stopping election-fraud...
these slippery servants of the greater neo-imperialist good know exactly what atrocities they've committed in order to assume absolute power - but so also do the american citizens upon whose heads and values they have liberally pissed - and thus shuffling shabby into their white-hot-house starting positions, these well-seasoned neo-con-artists recognize all too implicitly that, under the glaring gaze of the american people - their official employers - they, the head honchos, are left mentally undressed: naked porn-stars minus the potency of authority.
perhaps, in dangerous contempt of democracy and driven crazy by the fragility of their own guilt-edged status, these neo-nutters in the washington establishment will eventually press the big red button of self-annihilation...
perhaps, roaming forever uncertified, these ghosts-in-government will completely lose their minds and, by launching an insane attack upon the north korean kid, force their grumpy old globalist godfathers in beijing to take them all out with a swift swamp-busting nuclear strike...
whilst trump laughs his nuts off in a floridan golf-bunker.
You were right, mr mike. Mr Pant is turning into something I don't quite understand. Or perhaps the game is.
(anon 18/01/21 at 23.07)
Of course they wouldn't want me in charge of anything, mr verge, let alone a submarine- I suspect there's a taint of outsider-ness hangs about me, that the Powers That Be can detect in the dark.
That's a grim story about the Batavia shipwreck - a bit Lord of the Flies, with adults and weapons. Mr mike will appreciate the following quote from the essay: "The coast of Western Australia came to be known among Dutch sailors as the harsh and unforgiving end of the earth. It was to be avoided at all costs."
Thanks for giving us the link.
mr ultrapox - yours is a frightening analysis of the dystopia that is the United States of America. Very few people in Britain would believe it,however, thanks to the successful number that the BBC has worked on its viewers, with its pro Democrat, anti Trump slant on all the US news. Such is the cultural dominance of the US, through a more or less shared language and export of television and film, that my fellow citizens seem to erroneously regard the US as a country very similar to Britain, and take a keen interest in its politics. If we must have our news dominated by North America, it would be refreshing for it to be Canada rather than the States.
correction
@ultrapox - 19 january 2021 at 08:18
in the above comment, the fourth paragraph would better read:
"from their abominably fabricated health-crisis - which has wantonly crushed the lives and livelihoods of so many millions - to their patently false allegation that the president has murdered over two hundred-thousand american citizens..."
in the above comment, the latter section of the sixth paragraph would better read:
"...and thus shuffling shabby into their white-hot-house-starting-positions, these well-seasoned neo-con-artists recognize all too implicitly that, under the glaring gaze of the american people - their official employers - they, the head honchos, are left mentally undressed: naked porn-stars without the potency of authority."
@mike - 18 january 2021 at 22:36
yes, sir, once lit, the conflagration of american civil war could easily jump the atlantic fire-break to our own already civilly and socially divided shores - and then, when raging here also, will we expediently extinguish this moral blaze, leaving our american cousins to their grisly fate, or rather choose sides, and in the democratic referendum-to-end-all-referendums, fight for what is right?
@mrs ishmael - 19 january 2021 at 11:36
the clintons, obama, biden and co kicked back safe in their sitting-rooms and covertly ignited many a civil conflict in foreign states, but the stark reality of sparking a civil war in your own backyard is not such an easy, or straightforward, matter with which to deal.
you see, the more you remove from your citizens their democratic civil rights, the less you will be able to trust those who surround you - those upon whom you intimately rely to service your needs, to service your car, to prepare your food, to clean your toilet, to launder your clothes, to provide your personal security, to fix your central heating, to carry out your plumbing, to re-wire your electrics, to fit your super-duper double-green-glazing, to supply your environmentally friendly fuel, to deliver your ethically-and-renewably sourced building-materials, to empty your stinking garbage-cans, and fight your foreign fuckin' oil-wars.
when you can't get anyone to do shit for you, you become a lame-duck-democrat-deity.
when you abolish the democratic right to free speech, you abolish democracy itself, and when you abolish democracy, the people will neither support nor defend you in your hour of greatest need.
doubtless, it will soon dawn on these too clever-by-half clowns, playing god in the galleries of the pleb-hating neo-liberal establishment, that to dub trump and his supporters 'terrorists' was to take one giant leap too far...
after all, which previous administration was it which intentionally armed al qaeda and isis...?
and ah now, what precisely was that officially approved cia-op called...?
was it perhaps err...
operation "timber sycamore" -*cough* *cough*?
operation "timber sycamore" -*cough* *cough*?
operation "timber sycamore" - *cough* *cough*?
yeah, some big fat chickens a-cummin' home to roost, bwoy...
and somehow the phrases:
"startin' a fire in ya own house"
"pissin' in ya own pond"
"shittin' on ya own doorstep"
"throwing stones when living in a glass-house"
all just come drifting to mind...
as does "settin' fire to ya own ass", bwoy.
now, when president ronald reagan was shot during an assassination attempt, and was wheeled into the hospital-operating-theatre, he famously quipped:
"i hope you are all republicans"
to which dr joesph giordano, a democrat, replied:
"today, mr president, we are all republicans"
however, in pursuit of power, reagan had not resorted to starting a civil war between his own countrymen - and therefore, placed in an identical situation today, what off-the-cuff joke would biden, clinton, or obama dare crack, i wonder?
@ultrapox - 20 january 2021 at 05:11
in the above comment, the line which reads:
"and ah now, what precisely was that officially approved cia-op called...?"
should actually read:
"and ah now, what precisely was the code-name of that white house approved op to arm al qaeda and isis...?"
and the line reading:
"to which dr joesph giordano, a democrat, replied:"
should clearly read:
"to which dr joseph, a democrat, gamely replied:"
mr ultrapox, further to this: "the less you will be able to trust those who surround you - those upon whom you intimately rely to service your needs, to service your car, to prepare your food, to clean your toilet, to launder your clothes, to provide your personal security" etc
Did you notice, as I did, that the National Guard troops have been carefully vetted to weed out any with Republican sympathies? Even the BBC reported that one.
And the only observers of the inauguration ceremonies and celebrations will be troops, a seven foot fence with razor wire and, bizarrely, a Lawn planted with Union flags. Could it be that the new administration is not a popular choice>
yes, mrs ishmael, the irony is monumental: the neo-liberal warmongers in the washington establishment have, over the decades, installed so many military dictatorships around the world, yet in order to maintain their illusory grip on power, have now been compelled to install one in their very own homeland.
not only did droning joe biden play to empty houses during his election-campaign, but as a result of the false-flag-coup-and-coronavirus-shenanigans required to shaft king kong trump, the soon-to-be-confirmed karaoke-president also seems cursed to croon his way through office without real-life-backing.
blimey, is this anechoic inauguration truly the crowning moment of which joe biden dreamed all his political life?
well, in a wry tone, jay z said of president trump something to the effect that "what you see is what you get", however it's not just the donald's warts on show: the wraps are suddenly being ripped off the dirty democrat-dynasty too - for when trump let the free-speech-genie out of the bottle, it escaped with the whole truth about the disunited states and the washington crime-swamp - and all the clintons' men could not put it back inside again.
therefore, no matter how much this new world administration attempts to suppress freedom of expression, the reality of desperate democratic repression will, to the sincere-at-heart, always be as plain as the nose which obama, biden and clinton's undoubtedly undemocratic party has rashly cut off to spite its face.
Mr ultrapox: couldn't agree more with you analysis.
I would, however, go a little further. The US was flattered because the rest of the world destroyed itself in WW1 and WW2. Not one bomb fell in America. De facto, therefore, being unscathed they became the biggest swinging dick. But over time the natural order was re-established and the Yanks have been found wanting. Truly, an emperor with no clothes.
@ultrapox - 20 january 2021 at 14:36
oh dear, in penultimate paragraph of the above comment the second dash should naturally be a comma.
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