The Sunday Ishmael 16th August 2020

Education, Educaytion, Educayshun
 
Pay attention, Education Secretary Williamson: Dog ate your homework? Couldn't be arsed to follow the Scottish educayshun shambles? They handed it to you on a plate - all you had to do was suspend the announcement of grades and say you are having a big think in the light of the Scottish fiasco and you are considering options for the future of the whole examination system. But now you've got photogenic teenagers with heavily painted- on eyebrows 

sulking and crying for camera, saying their lives have been ruined and the media demanding that you consider your options.  
 

Here's a novel idea - make the lot of them - wee Fionas, Hamishes, Olivias, Logans, Merediths, Rhyses, Conors and Taras, go back to school for a year (after all, they merrily go off on gap years to bother the rest of the world and run up huge parental debt), and learn something other than eyebrow studies. Then take the bloody exams that they entirely failed to take in 2020.

Here's a really novel idea - as Britain's education system is at the heart of Britain's class system- it's very bedrock, reconsider  how children are graded - like eggs, and consigned to the roles that they will occupy for the rest of their lives. It's a bit Brave New World at present - the citizens of Huxley's dystopia
were engineered into an intelligence-based social hierarchy based on Henry Ford's assembly line: mass production, homogeneity, predictability, and consumption of disposable consumer goods, ranging from Alphas, the ruling elite, to Epsilons,
 ugly and monkey-like creatures that were often handicapped.
To make everyone happy Alphas were given challenging jobs and Epsilons were given menial work which would be boring for higher caste members.
 For the eyebrow-people, it's ok - there's a film of the book.

The exam system was invented in 1853 by Sir Charles Trevelyan in order to provide a merit system of entry to the Civil Service, which had been dominated by members of aristocratic and influential families who benefitted by personal networks. Trouble with that system was that it allowed the in-bred, under-brained sons of the aristocracy to make a pig's ear (hem,hem, Cameron) of running the country and its relationships with other countries.

Having introduced an exam system to determine which aspirational entrants were the brightest and the best, the aristocratic and the wealthy parvenus then had to set to work to find a way around it - which involved paying lots of money for a rather special education which would fit their scions for a place on the gravy train for life, and allow them to scrape through the necessary qualifications. 

And don't run away with the idea that our current exam system is in any way objective. In the popular imagination, an exam candidate walks into the exam room, sits down at a desk at sufficient distance from anyone else to avoid cheating, answers a set of questions that test his/her understanding of the subject and is then awarded a grade based on how many questions they got right. That's bollocks, that is. For a start, the marker has to exercise his/her judgement as to whether the candidate has answered the question. A mark is awarded. A mark is not a grade. Someone might score 89 out of a possible 100, and yet be graded down to a C if lots of other candidates scored 90 out of a 100; because grades are awarded on a percentage basis in order to ensure "standards", the percentage changing each year in response to the actual marks that year. When I did a bit of marking, I was enraged that I wasn't allowed to mark down for incompetent spelling and mangled grammar.

By the way, I studied with a woman once, who sold her Master's essays on Ebay. Great business, because she could sell them multiple times. She wanted mine, as I had better marks, but I muttered about ethics, embarassed for her. This did not throw her in the slightest - no, no, she said airily, the essays are just a study resource - the buyers won't be submitting them as their own work. Like hell. Maybe the anti-plagiarism software employed by the Universities will pick it up
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January 30th 2009 (found by mr verge)

stanislav, a young polish plumber said…

Dear Mr Bob.

What is this stanislav is not stanislav or if is must be out from face, three sheets up the wall, as fucking rat pissed shit?

stanislav is not artist of pissing-up, is fucking bad enough English speaking, innit, without scramble synaps up like fucking omelette. Anyway, simply say, or try to say, Michael Gove is cunt, also Fatman Falconer, also Hardip fucking Singh, famous Jock Sikh, also LibDem bint and also Nicola Moustache, First Mate on HMS Jock Tribesman and also Dimbleby, is cunt too, whole of fucking BBC is cunt. World Service, Radio Three, every fucking bastard is cunt. And act cunt on stanislav and mrs’s license fee. If he paid it, which he would rather fucking not and doesn’t. Even so, is all bastard, never mind not pay license tax is all cunt, even if free with petrol coupon, like down Tesco.

What so complicate is about that ?

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Child Protection in the Church of England

Charity Commission complaint – message from Lead Safeguarding Bishop, Jonathan Gibbs   11/08/2020 

"We have been made aware of a complaint to the Charity Commission and of course will cooperate fully with any future process, because we are absolutely committed to the importance of safeguarding throughout the life of the Church of England. Since I have taken up the lead safeguarding role in April I have been amazed at the number of issues that come into the National Safeguarding Team and must be looked into – whether to review existing information or investigate new information - to ensure good safeguarding across the Church.  It would be completely wrong if we failed to act when safeguarding concerns are brought to our attention. I am very aware of the current criticism of our core group process and some of this seems to be based on misunderstandings about what is involved.  There has been confusion as a result of them being likened to core groups in the statutory sector which have a different purpose and follow different processes.  Revised guidance will make it very clear they are more equivalent to a statutory strategy meeting (there will also be a change of name to help make this clear), where decisions are made collaboratively about what the next steps should be. This may include an independent investigation of allegations that have been made, including that senior members of clergy have not followed due safeguarding processes.  As part of such investigations, those concerned are given details of any allegations and the opportunity to respond.  These processes are confidential while they are taking place and therefore we cannot give public explanations of everything that is happening, which of course brings its own challenges. It is evident that about three quarters of current national cases are about senior clergy failing to act rather than a direct allegation of abuse, but that can still have serious consequences. We always try to make that difference clear, and although the current guidance does not distinguish between those accused of abuse and those accused of failing to act properly on information received, the revised guidance will address this difference.  Statistics about the number of cases involving senior clergy (currently around 30) can also be misleading as a significant number relate to concerns raised about the past conduct of now retired clergy. While I do not deal with details of casework I am absolutely assured that the process is the same for all, but the evidence and the circumstances are not, and therefore outcomes are different. No one gets any special treatment, I would be the first to object if they did and I know those in very senior roles have made that very clear themselves.The NST, which was restructured last year, should be respected and trusted for the work it does. Yes, processes must be fair and open to scrutiny, which is why our guidance is being revised, but we must not lose sight of the central issue, which is that the Church has failed victims and survivors of abuse in the past and needs to take responsibility for that. I came into this role out of my personal commitment to making the Church of England a safer place for all, and I hope that is a goal around which all of us can unite."

It is beyond parody. 

To support a suspended noncing priest/vicar/minister costs £65,000 per year. Whereas a pot of £55,000 has been made available to pay compensation for all the survivors of sexual abuse by the clergy.

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In Scotland, best part of England, they are most concerned about stirring up hatred, so much so that the Scottish government is attempting, amidst a storm of protest to update the nation's hate crime legislation, making it a criminal offence to "stir up hatred" against anyone based on their age, disability, religion, sexual orientation or transgender identity.
It is quite an achievement for the government to have united the Catholic Church and the National Secular Society in opposition to the planned legislation - together with academics, playwrights and newspaper columnists who all say that the proposed legislation could pose a threat to their freedom of speech.

Opponents claim that these laws could see JK Rowling in the dock, facing a seven-year prison sentence for saying what she thinks about trans rights. Comedians could become too frightened to dare make a joke about "a Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman" walking into a bar. 

Best read the next piece, quick, before it becomes an offence. 
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  HISTORY

Arabic insults

Arabic Swearing	English Translation
Airi Fe Sabahak	My dick on your forehead
Neek rasi	Fuck my skull
Yla'an haramak	Damn your spouse
Kos okht ile nafadak	Fuck he who brought you to this life
Aire fe mabda'ak	My dick in your principles
Toj koo' mas	Come suck my penis
Zobree akbar minak	My dick is longer than you
Ya manache'h	Fag, gay
Air il'e yoshmotak	May you be struck by a dick
Air il'e yeba'atak	May you be stabbed by a dick
Fatah	Foreskin (considered a grave insult)
Ah dena mukk	Damn your mother's religion
Ahhlass	Shut up
Koos	Cunt, pussy
Yebnen kelp	Son of a dog
Nikomak	Fuck your mother
Sharmoota (or Sharmuta)	Whore, bitch
Gahba	Whore, bitch
Shlicke	Slut
Ahbe	Slut
Zarba	Shit
Khara	Shit
Kis	Vagina
Elif air ab tizak	A thousand dicks in your ass
Elif air ab dinikh	A thousand dicks in your religion
Kisich	Pussy
Mos zibbi	Suck my dick
Waj ab zibik	An infection to your dick
Kelbeh	Bitch
Kul khara	Eat shit
Kanith	Fucker
Kwanii	Faggot
Ya Khawal	Faggot
Bouse Tizi	Kiss my ass
Ebn el metnakah	Son of a motherfucker
Inti sharmoota	You're a whore
Inta sharmoot	You're a male whore

The English Civil War is in full swing;  far way, in the Ottoman Empire, news is reaching the authorities......

The sultan's palace, noises without, sounds of running, cries of  Your Excellency! Your Excellency

By the  balls of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him,  and  fuck he who brought you to this life and a thousand dicks up your arse, donkey brain,  but what is all this fucking noise you are making?

It is news, Excellency, from our spies in the Middle North, the English tribes are warring.

They are always fucking warring, dog, may you go and fuck your mother, the poxed-up whore mongrel bitch,  what's fucking new about that? They war with the French, they war with the  Welsh, with the Irish, with those ginger fuckling mutant infidels in Scotland,  they whore their children and their sisters and fuck their sheep and pigs, the English; it is not so long, son of a fucking dog turd,  that they were warring with us; that fucking shitbrain poofter,  

Richard,  Lionheart they called him, I ask you, lionheart, it is what our wise men call -  when they are not inventing higher mathematics, medicine, navigation, architecture and every other fucking thing -  hyperbole,  hyperbole is what they call it; loada fucking bollocks, I say, a mummy'sboy 'swhat he was, what was her name,  Eleanor? She raised a right nancy there, with that one,  a dick-licking son of shit, buried in France, he is, proper arsebandit country.  Anyway, he came over here and nearly wrecked the fucking place, until we copped hold of the screeching bastard and held him for ransom. And now you bust in here, yelling that the fucking JohnBullers are fighting again, better watch, eater of goatshit, that your head and your body do not start to travel in different directions, parted by the Great Blade of Correction.

But, Your Excellency, it could lead to a humanitarian catastrophe......

A what.... a fucking what?   They are a fucking humanitarian wotsaname, those fucking English bastards. Do you know, spawn of a syphilitic, one-eyed camel,  what goes on in the Tower of fucking London?  Humanitarian?  I should, in the name of the fucking prophet,  fucking co-co.

But Majesty, they kill one another, the Roundhead and the Cavalier...

The what...the fucking what....the Roundfuckinghead....what fresh madness is this, is that fucking shithole never gonna grow up?


  
Anonymous said...

You might not like this, but I'll say it anyway.

If one does not guard oneself, actively, repeatedly, incessantly, against the natural onslaught of time, and all the horrible possibilities that it encompasses, one will find oneself a thoroughly bitter man, incapable of appreciating, well, almost anything, one will just be a railer, a dissenter, a ne'er say well, a cunt, I think the word is.

You, Sir, and I say this with the utmost respect for your previous scribblings, most of them, at any rate, are turning into a cunt.

You are becoming that which you claim to despise.

Have a think, don't give in to it, please.

23 January 2015 at 23:49

 call me ishmael said...

Well, I don't know about that, mr anonymous, there is much here in praise and admiration and gratitude and respect, much in regret at decline, oppression, vulgarity, consumerism, racism, militarism, corruption, bestiality and all the other ills hinted at in the title of the blog, chronicles of ruin.

Thanks, nevertheless, for your observation about me being a cunt.

24 January 2015 at 00:05

Mr ishmael's essays and comments this week are:

stanislav, a young polish plumber      January 30th 2009 (found by mr verge)
HISTORY                                            drafted 30/09/2014
Comment stream                                 posted 24/01/2015