AN OLD CHAR LADY SPEAKS.
I find that if I have a blocked nose,
a sore throat
if the wretched servants had got me the wrong sort of coke or weed
if I'm feeling a bit low,
or just a bit pissed,
well, then , viewers, what I find, in my rich, hectic, sexy and successful life is that there's nothing compares to a nice sweet, muddy cup of Ty-Phoo's HorsePiss Strength Tea.
Delicious with milk, cream, lemon, sugar, honey or cocaine.
Nothing like a warm brown stream of liquid between one's tits, eh viewers?
I do it twelve times a day, you know.
As I always say, money is a metaphor for life, I mean pissing, no, I mean cooking, course I do.
That'll be one million pounds, please.