Thursday 20 June 2013

AMERICA IN SHOCK AS DEAD FAT MAN IS NOT ACTUALLY A MOBSTER.




All across the US, in casinos, brothels, justice departments, the FBI and the White House, flags were at half-mast in honour of a fat actor who wasn't really a crime boss.
  My fellow motherfuckers,  we all hurt tonight because that's who we are;  that's who I am and that's who the fat guy was, too.  Was he a crime boss, well,  perhaps we'll never know for sure but I'd bet my pension that he was as honest as I am, most of the time.
Tonight,  I am very much in my thoughts and prayers

For the Republicans, some guy with big hair and bleached teeth said I simply can't believe that this fat slob spent years pretending to be the great Tony Soprano, one of our greatest mobsters.  And got away with it.  What we, on this side f the house are gonna do, is hunt this bum down and give him the sorta justice that Tony woulda,  God rest his soul.

 
 OVEREATING MAKES YOU DEAD, 
IT'S THE AMERICAN WAY

9 comments:

Old timer said...

Better than Marlon Brando at it anyway! Did he have a little brother, Tiny Baritoni?

if only nelson mandela were not ill and this was all just a ruse to force president obama to come crawling to the former anc leader's hospital bedside on his knees (for forgiveness) said...

considering that the first african american commander-in-chief has presided over the ousting of nelson mandela's african-unionist mate gbagbo in the ivory coast, the undermining of somalia as an independent self-governing state, the brutal exploitation of congo, military intervention by french neo-colonialists in mali, the bombing-to-fuck of libya, the deposition then assassination of mr mandela's die-hard supporter colonel gadhafi, the subsequent cia-organized power-grab in libya, and zero-progress on allowing the african continent to trade with europe and america on equal terms in order to establish itself as a self-sufficient international market, i don't reckon mandela will be that chuffed to see barack obama's smarmy smiley face appear in his intensive-care hospital ward.

although in the present grim circumstances this may seem a forlorn flight of fancy, i wish nelson mandela all the best and hope that he regains enough strength to:

a) make a long, lasting and beneficial recovery

b) bring his family to book and chastise them severely for bickering about his burial arrangements before his demise

c) head-butt president obama from his deathbed.

if only etc said...

sorry, i missed the word 'actual' from before the word 'demise' - this was because i was forced to revert to a pre-edited copy i had made of this text on my computer hard-drive, the actual on-line text having been wiped clean by the eavesdropper who contrived to make my internet explorer browser crash in the process of stealing this comment for the purpose of reposting it on a lesser website of no value frequented by commenters with no imagination or creative ability.

if only etc said...

this was because i was forced to revert to a pre-edited copy of this text which i had made on my computer hard-drive

...commenters incapable of independent thought-processes no less. shame.

mr i m bad - self-publicist said...

@if only nelson etc...

funny, i thought obama was touring the mother continent with his whole family as a means of giving himself the open window of opportunity to take full responsibility for authorizing the manning and snowden intelligence leaks, to jump ship, switch to the other side, and then, after kissing and making-up with his former marxist comrades, claim political asylum in pretoria, or maybe tanzania, before leading the global revolution against capitalism and rising from the ashes to become the first american-african president of the united states of africa...

...wouldn't put it past him, he's not one to miss a trick, after all?

mr maindealer said...

@mr i m bad - self-publicist

mr ishmael, i must commend you on allowing that cocky show-off neo-colonialist codswallop-pusher, obama, to make the above sarcasticated comment - this decision truly affirms your commitment to freedom of speech.

@if only etc

undoubtedly...and let me say that although i cannot support mr gbagbo's self-aggrandizing actions and inhumane abuse of power...i consider the long-running franco-cia-backed neo-colonialist intervention, which supported the ivory-coast coup against the former president...as a most deplorable expression of crude american-oiled imperialism...

...i'm also not too 'chuffed' about the cruel and abusive treatment of my gay soul-mate, brad manning...whom i regard as an icon in the worldwide struggle against genocidal war, racial oppression, and cultural exploitation...and whom i admire most profoundly on a spiritual level, if not a physical one...

...this, of course, being in total contrast to the as yet unresolved case of mr brass-crack obama...whom i'd definitely like to get my hands on...

asylum for sequestered whistleblowers in political establishment said...

@mr maindealer

here in the uk there is now a new and growing movement which is demanding that our government grant political asylum to edward snowden, bradley manning, and allow assange to fuck off to wherever the hell he pleases - anything less, its members consider, would constitute a clear indication that our leaders support an agenda which is anti-peace and anti-political transparency.

indeed, it is envisaged that funding and mass-appeal is already sufficient to enable party candidates to stand nationwide in forthcoming local and general elections.

best american waffle said...

@mr i m bad - self-publicist

obama got this tour to south africa in quick, because he cleverly gauged that the virulent poverty-fuelled anti-american anti-neocon anti-obama feeling amongst black trade-unionists there will be kept in check out of respect for the man they all know and love as tata, but only as long as the former president is alive - obama is fully aware that once mandela is finally laid to rest, he would be toast.

clink state said...

@asylum for sequestered whistleblowers in political establishment

we're soon going to need a whole new sovereign country just for whistle-blowers and political dissidents...

...but president obama, cameron, and hollande will probably just build bigger prisons...