Speaking outside NewsCorp's London HQ, New Scotland Yard, Acting Deputy Chief Assistant Commissioner, Brian Gob, the famous Gob of the Yard, said that an enquiry was underway, led by a senior NewsCorp detective, into how the Met can secure Mr Murdoch's escape and protect members of the force from his revelations. There is absolutely no proof that I have received large sums of money from Mr Murdoch or his old man, at least there won't be by the time I'm finished. . And I would advise you that I am extremely dangerous and should not be approached by members of the public.
Now if you have no further questions I have Olympic scare stories to whip up. And if that doesn't work, there's probably a plot to assassinate the Queen, or better still Prince Gormless and his waitress totty.
John Yates is currently working for some tinpot arab dictator, teaching him how best to suppress his subjects, or fight terrorism, as he would call it, but is availablwe for after dinner speeches, protection racketeering, money laundering and indeed any form of internal corruption. I resigned because I hadn't done anything wrong. But I still have friends on the force, so you better watch it.