tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post8614219603293295182..comments2024-03-29T05:24:12.453+00:00Comments on call me ishmael: CHRISTMAS EVE CAN KILL YOU.call me ishmaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-11438404640346169122015-12-26T13:04:43.502+00:002015-12-26T13:04:43.502+00:00God grant you Boxing joy, mr richard. We have had ...God grant you Boxing joy, mr richard. We have had other blokes who did well on the stuff you mention, Barney even going to Crufts - not, I hasten to add, at my behest, but a daughter's, who later sent him, refugee, to us. I have never been able to tempt a Yorky with pellets, and being very small, fasting has a quick impact on them. Harris will eat most proprietary dog foods but considering what's .shoved into human processed and even unprocessed foods I am happy to prepare his meals and he seems to thrive on them; they are also cheaper by far.<br /><br />I am always in a quandary about the question of anthropomorphising the dog - the part that says: in the wild he would do this or that so therefore we should treat him thus. For many, however, the dog is a cherished lapdog, utterly domesticated and probably defenceless, alone. That is taking the question one stage further back - isn't making hoisehold pets of them, in the first place, humanising them, a monstrous cruelty? <br /><br />In my case I am with mr mike, that in recognising the incongruity of the situation, all we can do is be as civilsed and respectful as we can. There is no ethical perfection to be achieved in this contrary situation.<br /><br />You may recall a song, from the old days, Momma Told Me Not To Come, by a band called Three Dog Night. Only years later did I learn that the name was kderived from an aboriginal expression fir an extremely cold night, when a man sleeping on the ground, would need the shared body heat if not one but three of his dogs. Fuck me, fella, it's a fucking three-dog night, tonight, an' no mistake.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-88874498610693605942015-12-26T11:37:05.850+00:002015-12-26T11:37:05.850+00:00Season's Greetings. My collie and weimeraner g...Season's Greetings. My collie and weimeraner get pelletised dogfood at ten quid for 12 kilos, the company has worked out the veg/protein/vitamin ratio. My dogs have shiny coats and are in great health. Doggies don't need refined food because in the wild they eat carrion, bones, berries, mushrooms etc. They aren't cats or ferrets which need high quality protein. You don't need to put aviation fuel in a lawnmower and a coarse diet suits man's best friend. <br />-richard<br /> Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-13235452285262580662015-12-25T16:16:20.671+00:002015-12-25T16:16:20.671+00:00So good to see you, mrs woman on a raft, on Christ...So good to see you, mrs woman on a raft, on Christmas Day; last time you went to York we had to send search parties. The power of the fertility brush theory has given much amusement, hereabouts. I will mention it, next time I see mr sweep. call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-4614945297778887122015-12-25T16:13:03.384+00:002015-12-25T16:13:03.384+00:00And to you, mr yardarm, my conmrade in righteous r...And to you, mr yardarm, my conmrade in righteous rage.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-24692858520523384672015-12-25T16:11:23.915+00:002015-12-25T16:11:23.915+00:00Happy Christmas, and thank you, mr mick and ms di...Happy Christmas, and thank you, mr mick and ms diana, Brittany must be nice in the winter and good luck, mr gruff, if you mean what I think you mean. And even if you don't.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-91271740374192490192015-12-25T14:25:11.109+00:002015-12-25T14:25:11.109+00:00Stumbled here after a nice man said "Not here...Stumbled here after a nice man said "Not here Son, try over there".<br /><br /> The zombie apocalypse party is up & running again, Headless Turkey's abound. Full moon madness swamped in the love of the lard. Merry & white, jingling bowls everywhere. I'm in lock-down, A fusion, Gregg's mere cocktailed with Ian, in my block. Only a week to go! If I appreciated stupidity, I'd prefer it banal.<br /><br /> You made me smile, in our aloneliness. Ta.Billy Gruffnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-63649098141306270442015-12-25T10:36:52.317+00:002015-12-25T10:36:52.317+00:00Ho Ho Ho, I love Christmas too.
Thank you for toda...Ho Ho Ho, I love Christmas too.<br />Thank you for todays post Mr Ishmael, had me crying with laughter, a lovely present.<br />We wish you peace and tranquility in your island fastness.<br />From a windy and wet Brittany, Happy Christmas.<br />Mick and Diana.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-45841985632492712932015-12-25T09:33:55.502+00:002015-12-25T09:33:55.502+00:00Hurrah, wake up and find Mr Ishmael has left a pre...Hurrah, wake up and find Mr Ishmael has left a present under my tree.<br /><br />Mrs RaftAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-11349300093780871352015-12-25T09:14:36.712+00:002015-12-25T09:14:36.712+00:00Thank you and good wishes, Mr Ishmael.Thank you and good wishes, Mr Ishmael.yardarmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08700165830593026578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-76589204010764768602015-12-25T08:10:37.428+00:002015-12-25T08:10:37.428+00:00I, personally and with care, look after the dogfoo...I, personally and with care, look after the dogfood. I select the organic broccoli, green beens, carrot, and steam them to optimum texture. Usually a shop at the local growers market each Sunday lasts a week. He also likes watermelon, apple, pear but not peach. He has venison and free-range organic chicken, and sashimi grade salmon; for his Christmas lunch he had minced lamb. Its a measure of civilisation how we look after our dogs, who in my observation are much more intelligent than humans.Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-51533971397019617512015-12-25T03:16:01.708+00:002015-12-25T03:16:01.708+00:00No, we're both right about the dogfood but yo...No, we're both right about the dogfood but you're wrong about the engineering. 400 mill, Christ, that's about a fucking cubit, isn't it, an armslength, I have a couple of metres in height and a hundred metres in distance, some of my timbers have been here for three hundred years, the rest for over two and I am fairly sure I'll be under water come fifty years, maybe less. if I was you I'd move to the Cairngorms, be close to the Edinburgh branch, although that, too, will be under water, the Scottish Executive not even being as bright as the EA. Bon apetit. oh, do listen to Rawlings, when you have a moment.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-22936403719077673622015-12-25T02:56:14.628+00:002015-12-25T02:56:14.628+00:00You are right about the for-dog cooking, Sir, but ...You are right about the for-dog cooking, Sir, but wrong about the engineering. My timbers have been here about 400 years. Maybe 500. The river doesn't come here - by about ten meters horizontally and maybe 400mm vertically. These are crucial small numbers that somebody understood before the EA was born. <br /><br />It matters not. Merry Christmas. We will reconvene and argue anew these margins in a few days. St Jezza is going to have his time, I think. I doubt it will help any of us though.mongoosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-36363429616296732202015-12-25T02:22:34.834+00:002015-12-25T02:22:34.834+00:00It is actually cheaper, and better, that feeding h...It is actually cheaper, and better, that feeding him dogfood, the only cost is my time, something he considers worthless. I do believe that it is cheaper to be well-fed than poorly, if only people knew how to cook, simply, simple, healthy food, its cheap, easy, nutritious and appetising. Oliver and his gang, they are a pollution, I would jail them all, in the national interest.<br /><br />I will return, I hope, to Justin, having recently watched him EmCee the opening of some Synod event, involving Brenda, Phil, Archbishop John Underopants, of York, the Leader of the Laiety and I don't know what other mediaeval flunkies.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-65846693215431098922015-12-25T02:12:17.671+00:002015-12-25T02:12:17.671+00:00It is indeed infelicitous to argue of a Christmas ...It is indeed infelicitous to argue of a Christmas morn but these are fresh torrents of water, not the same old water, sloshing around, six fresh inches it is confidently asserted by the only news organisations to which I have access, and if it us used to kick Stupidity's arse then that is not unchivalrous but all to the good. That residents have cultivated some Blitz spirit, is porbably, also, a media confection, either that or they have been drinking poisoned water and think its 1940.<br /><br />There is a good piece by Simon Jenkins in the current Guardian in which he rages at the vast, incomprehensible amounts of arts and infrastructure lavished on London, whilst our libraries close and our regions wither; you should read it, you know I rarely recommend stuff. But if this flooding continuum was in London, trillions would be magicked into existence to keep dry the homes of the tax-avoiding wealth-stealing kleptocracy. |<br /><br />And if the stuttering EA Flood Defence paraplegics are very good then God fucking help us, what would we do in a war, a proper war, requiring all hands to the pumps, watch some gabshite explaining to us that our demands for results are really quite unreasonable? That we must be patient? I'd sack every last fucking one of them, get somebody in who knows what they're doing, from a proper country, not from here, from Wimpsville,. When the sea levels rise, these dunderheads'll all be atop the Pennines, with projections and estimates while everyone else is swimming below them, living in rowboats. This is the 21st century, there's a wee gabshite spinning around in the space station, waving and we can't prevent our tiwns being flooded. What is the point of anything, when every fortnight you get shit coming out of your washing machine? What is the point? If you were getting your oaken timbers submerged every month, I suspect your patience would suffer an unpredicted, total failure.<br /><br />As I said, Harris is very well provided for, nutritionally and emotionally, but our neighbours are some way away, and have dogs of their own, so he will be restricted to beef, lamb, chicken, haddock or salmon dinners, followed by grapes or blueberries.<br /><br />Happy Christmas to you, too, and the little mongeese, although by now they must surely be full-grown snake-munchers.<br /><br />In a final word on the subject of the Triumph of Incompetence, I refer you to the motto, at the head of these pages.<br /><br />May your Fenian God be with you at this special time.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-28529698689791582672015-12-25T01:53:36.323+00:002015-12-25T01:53:36.323+00:00By the sounds of it, your dog is better fed than t...By the sounds of it, your dog is better fed than the average citizen-consumer here in the remains of Christendom Mr I. I bet he doesn't suffer from IBS either. Meanwhile I see that the Reverend Oil-Welby has been wringing his hands over the fate of Christians in the Middle East. It doesn't seem long ago that his predecessor was calling for Sharia Law here, in the place the bearded ones call 'UK'. One should be careful what one wishes for it would seem... SGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-64607052052286354222015-12-25T01:36:33.441+00:002015-12-25T01:36:33.441+00:00And so we are done and ready. God knows what time ...And so we are done and ready. God knows what time it is and he being a newborn, that is a clever trick.<br /><br />It's impolite to meet Christmas on an argument, Mr I, but you wouldn't do better than the EA Flood Defence people because they are pretty good. NW Cumbria is not flooded "again"; it is flooded "still". It is horrible but you don't hear them whining. You do though hear the media making a stick with which to beat somebody.<br /><br />I do hope that that wee dog is getting some turkey tomorrow even if you ar not. Drive to a neighbour, they'll have kilos of it. Happy Christmas to you all.mongoosenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-2927809377929082722015-12-25T00:10:21.393+00:002015-12-25T00:10:21.393+00:00I think your trip excited some envy, mr mike, amon...I think your trip excited some envy, mr mike, among we, less nomadic souls; it was good to read your despatches. I try to be very careful about Harris's food, carefully preparing well-balanced, unprocessed dishes of various meats, loads of root and green vegetables, some herbs, he loves garlic and celery and parsley, and sometimes fish, with rice; I freeze them by the dizen but he eats three a day, so I am often handling foods which I no longer eat, myself; sardines on toast are a favourite snack, as are bread and butter, but not margerine and he is fond of scrambled eggs on toast. I laughed at Mr Pug's watermelon cutting, for my little warm brown friend will eat any fresh fruit known to man, his weight, condition and poos are a transport of delight.<br /><br />Talk about our national failure quotient, COMA is meeting this very Christmas morn to later talk some tripe about fresh floods in Cumbria, again, poor bastards are being comforted and reassured by Rory Stewart, a man of whom I expected much but who emerges as another fucking camera-conscious windbag. I am no civil engineer but guve me the resources available to government and I'd do a better job than this. That fucking useless prat HamFace strutting the world, talking shite and he can't help keep a handful of his subjects dry.<br /><br />As you say, we are so last century, handing-out fucking sandbags, when we need massive new drainage systems and barriers.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-8688921429088343902015-12-24T23:41:52.948+00:002015-12-24T23:41:52.948+00:00Thank you, mr inmate, for your regular presence a...Thank you, mr inmate, for your regular presence and your kind words and may harmony and humour attend your table.call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-78869894230101982462015-12-24T22:49:40.192+00:002015-12-24T22:49:40.192+00:00Christmas Day already down here. Just been for a ...Christmas Day already down here. Just been for a 2 hour walk around the harbour foreshore - its all bush and track, amazing really near a big city. It started off clear blue sky and sun, but now clouding over. My kids are here for lunch, its probably the only day in the year we eat lunch, and I hope we can avoid the traditional Christmas Day falling out. Mr Pug is excited as he can sense food.<br /><br />Bit of a weird year really; interesting trip around Europe which finally put the lid on ever returning. Not sure what 2016 will bring, as I think we are closer to WW3 than any time since Cuba. That nutcase in Turkey seems determined (or maybe he's being encouraged) to provoke Vlad. Right now I would put my money on Russia; if China gets involved its game over. Europe is so last century.<br /><br />Anyway, lets hope it doesn't happen, but enough poor bastards will suffer that's for sure. Mikenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-78706346415331335222015-12-24T21:57:23.852+00:002015-12-24T21:57:23.852+00:00The inmates will be here in force tomorrow, four g...The inmates will be here in force tomorrow, four generations, a fifth on the way; from the family matriarch, 94 years young, to a grumpy teenager, a simple, traditional meal, made a feast by their presence. We will spare a thought for those less fortunate than ourselves as you have mentioned in your post.<br />Also a prayer for those recently passed, who we can only hope have met their maker on favourable terms.<br /><br />Many thanks Mr I, for another glorious year of truth where our betters are concerned, may it long continue, personally I can't wait to hear Brenda's apologies for being the worlds greatest parasite.<br /><br />Wishing you sir, Mrs I and all who frequent Ishmaelia a wonderful Christmas and a healthy New Year. I shall raise a glass of Auchentoshan to you all. inmatenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-59445883589162595322015-12-24T20:50:45.850+00:002015-12-24T20:50:45.850+00:00Close Mr I. Actually the breakfast scene in 'F...Close Mr I. Actually the breakfast scene in 'Falling Down'. On the odd occasion that I have visited such emporia, the thing I've always noticed is the underlying ambience of soiled nappies. Bon Appetit!SGnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-72160846271684718592015-12-24T20:32:39.188+00:002015-12-24T20:32:39.188+00:00I cannot get there, mr sg, from blogger-in-excelsi...I cannot get there, mr sg, from blogger-in-excelsis Apple. Is it Richard Thompson's hymn to the Golden Arches?call me ishmaelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14369028864168461729noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6065998731267025499.post-91956669351698279882015-12-24T20:18:43.506+00:002015-12-24T20:18:43.506+00:00A fine Christmas Card Mr I. Fuck knows what the ne...A fine Christmas Card Mr I. Fuck knows what the new year will serve up but I am sure you will not be short of material to work with. I note your observations regarding the 'celebrity' supermarket fare, in the meantime you didn't visit a certain hamburger store somewhere, way back when, did you?<br /><br />https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-eREiQhBDIkCitizen-Consumer Mr SGnoreply@blogger.com